En Route From Cabins to Dorms, Saturday Afternoon

Jul 11, 2009 18:55

Okay. So, Zack's uniform was alive. It was alive, and it looked suspiciously like some guy who was wearing Zack's clothing ( Read more... )

zack fair, elena, eric van der woodsen, grounds, dinah lance, tabitha-ruth wexler, wade wilson

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blondecanary July 11 2009, 22:44:20 UTC
Dinah blinked as she was heading for the door of the dorms, to head back up to the roof. "Um. Nice... boxers?" she tried weakly, then waved to the new guy behind Zack who she didn't know.

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puppy_fair July 11 2009, 22:48:44 UTC
"They are! Very nice boxers," the new guy replied, waving back pleasantly. "I happen to know that pair intimately. Along with several others."

Excuse Zack. He was going to pull the bedsheet up over his head and try to smother himself to death, now.

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blondecanary July 11 2009, 22:50:02 UTC
"Whoa!" Dinah gaped at the new guy, then Zack, and said, "Wait! I thought you never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend or whatever!"

Give her a minute. It's early yet.

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puppy_fair July 11 2009, 22:52:15 UTC
"Single!" It was about the only reply that Zack could manage from under the bedsheet. "Still really, really single!"

"And a virgin," the uniform offered. "Though I'm certain he'd be more than happy to toss me aside if it meant that he could get himself lai--"

"GAH."

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blondecanary July 11 2009, 22:53:42 UTC
And now we're beyond whoa and into pure flail, because hi, hot guy, and wow, confused, and hey, Zack under a sheet. Dinah gulped, stared, and turned redder than red.

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puppy_fair July 11 2009, 22:57:48 UTC
The uniform made his merry way over to Dinah and offered her his hand for a shake.

"You've met me before too," he noted, and quite pleasantly.

Zack was trying to melt. Please? Please melt? Melt and not have to deal with this? Ever?

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blondecanary July 11 2009, 22:59:37 UTC
"I have?" Dinah squeaked, holding out her hand to shake his, shields up really high. "Um. And you, you know Zack really well, how does that work?" She paused. "Have you been here invisible all this time or something?"

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puppy_fair July 11 2009, 23:03:41 UTC
"Right in front of your face and draped all over him the entire time," came the uniform's pleasant reply. "You know, he has a really nice back. You can't tell from this angle as well, though. I mean, under that bedsheet and all."

Zack was going to never wear clothing again. Except he couldn't do that, either. Oh, this was unfair.

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blondecanary July 11 2009, 23:06:32 UTC
Dinah spluttered at that image, still holding onto the Uniform's hand. "I noticed, I mean. Yes, his back is nice. Most of him is very nice. And ... Zack, are you ever coming out?" That was not how she meant that. "I mean--!"

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puppy_fair July 11 2009, 23:13:11 UTC
"No. No I'm not," Zack insisted, because oh gods the direction that this conversation had taken was absolutely absurd and he was never, ever living this down. Ever.

"He didn't even catch the double-entendre in that," the uniform mused. "Cute, isn't it?"

More squeaking sounds.

The squeaking from under the blanket was never going to end.

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blondecanary July 11 2009, 23:16:23 UTC
"Uh-hunh?" It sure backed up that virgin story, not that Dinah had doubted it exactly, and um, this was just bizarrely awkward. "Where were you two going, again?"

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puppy_fair July 11 2009, 23:21:23 UTC
"The dorms," the uniform replied. "To find some other clothes." Yes, he was rather resentful about this. "As if I'm not good enough."

The blanket was now flailing. It looked something like a squeaky ghost.

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blondecanary July 11 2009, 23:28:45 UTC
"Other clothes," Dinah repeated. "I, um, wait. What?" She reached out to pat poor Zack, then drew her hand back for fear of which part she'd pat. "Zack, calm down, it's okay!" She looked at the other guy again, and slowly asked, "You're his...?"

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puppy_fair July 11 2009, 23:35:09 UTC
"SOLDIER 2nd Class Zack's Uniform, reporting for duty," came the reply, with a small salute and a click of his heels.

"He was like that when I woke up this morning," Zack replied, poking his face out from under the bedsheet. He was still a healthy shade of pink, naturally. "And he didn't want to go and get me any of the clothes that Fiona helped me shop for."

"It was like he was trying to replace me," the uniform scoffed. "With clothing from the Gap."

The nerve.

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blondecanary July 11 2009, 23:36:40 UTC
"Well, he can't drape you over his shoulders now," Dinah pointed out, turning pink to match Zack. "I mean. He could. But. Still chilly, and possibly provoking concern?"

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puppy_fair July 11 2009, 23:44:53 UTC
"Just a little," Zack said, and the squeak and the flail was back on again. The uniform was getting ideas. You could tell, because he was draping an arm over Zack's shoulders.

"As if it's something I've never seen before. I'm just sorry he isn't wearing his boxers with the little hearts on them. He makes them look good."

The facepalming from Zack. It was epic.

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