First Floor Lobby: Early Sunday evening
A small puppet stage had been set up and to the side was a sign that said:
Multiple Madrox Productions is proud to present:
Casa: The cranky Doctor who has a cane
A puppet show
The curtain pulls back to reveal a puppet with a partial beard hopping along with a cane. Another young looking puppet wearing a doctor's coat and wearing a stethoscope appears next to him.
Casa: What do you want young doctor Willman? Can't you see I'm about to eat my thirtieth Vicodin for the day?
Willman: Cuddly called. Young girl who used to be on Wendy the Werewolf Stalker and is trying to broaden career has annie-prophylactic shock.
Casa: They check for fleas?
Willman: She's immuno-complicated. She had the reaction in a clean room.
Casa: So mommy made her put her toys away?
Willman: She had a heart transplant. Six months after the transplant, she doesn't need to be confined to a clean room.
Casa: Six months without putting out, Cuddly doesn't NEED to wear thong panties, but it's not our call. Ducklings! What do you think?
Three duck puppets appear: An African American duck, an Australian Duck and a whiny girl duck.
Ducklings: Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack!
Willman: You have ducks for residents?
Casa: They say the same thing every week so I figured it'd be cheaper to pay them in corn.
*Casa points at the duck's in order*
Casa: He says it's Lupus. She says it's her heart and he wants to know the color of Cuddy's thongs.
Willman: Don't we all?
*A puppet with very low cut blouse and big cleavage appears*
Cuddly: Why is everyone so obsessed with my panties?
Casa: Because it's obvious you don't wear a bra.
*A sick looking girl puppet appears in bed*
Sick-Puppet: I'm sick! I'm dying!
Ducklings: Quack! Quack! Quack!
Casa: (Yelling at the duck puppets) Of course I'm going to do something unethical! That's the premise of the puppet show! Go run some tests in a ridiculously long montage! But first get a stool sample!
Sick-Puppet: Why do you need a stool sample if you think I'm just a nut?
Casa: 'Cause the answer's not in your head, my dear -- it's in your butt!
*A light show begins and music begins to play. The Casa puppet begins to dance around and sing*
You see....
Everything comes down to poo!
From the top of your head, to the sole of your shoe
We can figure out what's wrong with you by lookin' at your poo!
Do you have a hemorrhoid or is it rectal cancer?
When you flush your dookie down, you flush away the answer!
It doesn't really matter if it's hard or if it's loose
We'll figure out what's ailing you, as long as it's a deuce!
Yes!
Everything comes down to poo!
Everything comes down to poo!
Cardiovascular and lymphatic, yes, the nervous system, too!
All across the nation, we trust in defecation!
Everything comes down to poo!
If you want to know what's wrong, don't sit and act so cool
Just be a man and eat some bran, and drop the kids off at the pool!
Sick-puppet(spoken):
My stomach hurts
Casa: Check the poo!
Sick-Puppet(spoken): I can't breathe!
Casa: Check the poo!
Sick-Puppet(spoken): I had a heart transplant!
Casa: Check the poo!
*A delivery guy puppet appears*
Delivery Guy Puppet (spoken): A homeless guy threw poo in my eye!
Casa: Check the poo!
Delivery Guy Puppet (spoken):Mine or his?
Casa: First him, then you!
It may sound gross, you may say "shush!"
But we need to see what comes out of your tush!
Because!
Everything comes down to poo!
Whether it's a tumor or a touch of the flu!
Please, won't you pinch us off a big, fat clue!
Our number one test is your Number Two!
If there's no breeze, light a match please!
Everything comes down to --
Doo-doo! Doo-doo! Doo-doo! Doo-doo! Doo-doo!
Everything comes down to ... poo!
Casa puppet bows to the audience and then turns back to yell at the duck puppets.
Casa: Well? Where's my montage?!
*The duck puppets then move in slow motion as they pull blood, take samples, etc. Every single time the sick-puppet almost dies. Then the sock puppets show up with Casa at the end.*
Casa: All these tests are meaningless and the patient is going to die in three hours! Plus the patient nearly died when you did every single test! Why did you bother to listen to me?
Willman: Do you know what the cause is?
Casa: Yes. She has a cootie.
Ducklings: Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack!
Casa: Yes she does! It's just cleverly hidden someplace after her boyfriend snuck into have sex.
Cuddly: How did you know that happened?
Casa: Did you see her before she came in here? She was ridiculously hot. No one shells out that much money for a guest star if she doesn't get tapped.
Cuddly: Okay smart guy, but we're probably going to get sued if you don't do something ridiculously unethical to prove it.
Casa: Fine!
*Casa whacks the sick puppet over the head with his cane and then sticks his head underneath the sheet of the sick-puppet*
Cuddly: Casa! What are you doing?
Casa: What does it look like?
Cuddly: Something ridiculously unethical!
Casa: Well there you go!
Willman: (to Cuddly) Well technically you did ask him to-
Cuddly: Oh shut up! Can't you see I want to have sex with him?
Willman: Get in line.
*Casa emerges from underneath the sick puppet holding a bug*
Casa: Behold! A Cootie! Which was cleverly hidden in a body part that is too gross to say on television!
Willman: We're not on television. This is a puppet show.
Casa: Oh. Then it was hidden in her vah-jay-jay.
All puppets: GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSS!
Casa: My work is done here. I'm going to go overdose on drugs. See ya!
The curtain falls as all the puppets bow. Thus ending the program
Luckily for all the little tots watching the puppet show there are plenty of sugary treats for them to partake as they hopefully misunderstand everything that just went on.
[ooc: small ocd is coming up!]
Multiple Madrox Productions is proud to present:
Casa: The cranky Doctor who has a cane
A puppet show
The curtain pulls back to reveal a puppet with a partial beard hopping along with a cane. Another young looking puppet wearing a doctor's coat and wearing a stethoscope appears next to him.
Casa: What do you want young doctor Willman? Can't you see I'm about to eat my thirtieth Vicodin for the day?
Willman: Cuddly called. Young girl who used to be on Wendy the Werewolf Stalker and is trying to broaden career has annie-prophylactic shock.
Casa: They check for fleas?
Willman: She's immuno-complicated. She had the reaction in a clean room.
Casa: So mommy made her put her toys away?
Willman: She had a heart transplant. Six months after the transplant, she doesn't need to be confined to a clean room.
Casa: Six months without putting out, Cuddly doesn't NEED to wear thong panties, but it's not our call. Ducklings! What do you think?
Three duck puppets appear: An African American duck, an Australian Duck and a whiny girl duck.
Ducklings: Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack!
Willman: You have ducks for residents?
Casa: They say the same thing every week so I figured it'd be cheaper to pay them in corn.
*Casa points at the duck's in order*
Casa: He says it's Lupus. She says it's her heart and he wants to know the color of Cuddy's thongs.
Willman: Don't we all?
*A puppet with very low cut blouse and big cleavage appears*
Cuddly: Why is everyone so obsessed with my panties?
Casa: Because it's obvious you don't wear a bra.
*A sick looking girl puppet appears in bed*
Sick-Puppet: I'm sick! I'm dying!
Ducklings: Quack! Quack! Quack!
Casa: (Yelling at the duck puppets) Of course I'm going to do something unethical! That's the premise of the puppet show! Go run some tests in a ridiculously long montage! But first get a stool sample!
Sick-Puppet: Why do you need a stool sample if you think I'm just a nut?
Casa: 'Cause the answer's not in your head, my dear -- it's in your butt!
*A light show begins and music begins to play. The Casa puppet begins to dance around and sing*
You see....
Everything comes down to poo!
From the top of your head, to the sole of your shoe
We can figure out what's wrong with you by lookin' at your poo!
Do you have a hemorrhoid or is it rectal cancer?
When you flush your dookie down, you flush away the answer!
It doesn't really matter if it's hard or if it's loose
We'll figure out what's ailing you, as long as it's a deuce!
Yes!
Everything comes down to poo!
Everything comes down to poo!
Cardiovascular and lymphatic, yes, the nervous system, too!
All across the nation, we trust in defecation!
Everything comes down to poo!
If you want to know what's wrong, don't sit and act so cool
Just be a man and eat some bran, and drop the kids off at the pool!
Sick-puppet(spoken):
My stomach hurts
Casa: Check the poo!
Sick-Puppet(spoken): I can't breathe!
Casa: Check the poo!
Sick-Puppet(spoken): I had a heart transplant!
Casa: Check the poo!
*A delivery guy puppet appears*
Delivery Guy Puppet (spoken): A homeless guy threw poo in my eye!
Casa: Check the poo!
Delivery Guy Puppet (spoken):Mine or his?
Casa: First him, then you!
It may sound gross, you may say "shush!"
But we need to see what comes out of your tush!
Because!
Everything comes down to poo!
Whether it's a tumor or a touch of the flu!
Please, won't you pinch us off a big, fat clue!
Our number one test is your Number Two!
If there's no breeze, light a match please!
Everything comes down to --
Doo-doo! Doo-doo! Doo-doo! Doo-doo! Doo-doo!
Everything comes down to ... poo!
Casa puppet bows to the audience and then turns back to yell at the duck puppets.
Casa: Well? Where's my montage?!
*The duck puppets then move in slow motion as they pull blood, take samples, etc. Every single time the sick-puppet almost dies. Then the sock puppets show up with Casa at the end.*
Casa: All these tests are meaningless and the patient is going to die in three hours! Plus the patient nearly died when you did every single test! Why did you bother to listen to me?
Willman: Do you know what the cause is?
Casa: Yes. She has a cootie.
Ducklings: Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack!
Casa: Yes she does! It's just cleverly hidden someplace after her boyfriend snuck into have sex.
Cuddly: How did you know that happened?
Casa: Did you see her before she came in here? She was ridiculously hot. No one shells out that much money for a guest star if she doesn't get tapped.
Cuddly: Okay smart guy, but we're probably going to get sued if you don't do something ridiculously unethical to prove it.
Casa: Fine!
*Casa whacks the sick puppet over the head with his cane and then sticks his head underneath the sheet of the sick-puppet*
Cuddly: Casa! What are you doing?
Casa: What does it look like?
Cuddly: Something ridiculously unethical!
Casa: Well there you go!
Willman: (to Cuddly) Well technically you did ask him to-
Cuddly: Oh shut up! Can't you see I want to have sex with him?
Willman: Get in line.
*Casa emerges from underneath the sick puppet holding a bug*
Casa: Behold! A Cootie! Which was cleverly hidden in a body part that is too gross to say on television!
Willman: We're not on television. This is a puppet show.
Casa: Oh. Then it was hidden in her vah-jay-jay.
All puppets: GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSS!
Casa: My work is done here. I'm going to go overdose on drugs. See ya!
The curtain falls as all the puppets bow. Thus ending the program
Luckily for all the little tots watching the puppet show there are plenty of sugary treats for them to partake as they hopefully misunderstand everything that just went on.
[ooc: small ocd is coming up!]