"Hi," Becky said, eyeing her class as they arrived at the campfire. There were tables scattered about - about large enough for two people to work together at one. "This is Sex Ed. I'm Becky. 'Ms. Vartan' will get you detention. 'Mrs. Bluth' or any variation thereof will get you shot."
"Anyway. Here is where we learn about those things between your legs, and how to use them. I only have one rule: Don't piss me off. You get to figure out what that means all on your own."
"So. First of all, I'd like y'all to fill out the
info on those sheets," she said, gesturing to a stack of papers. "'Course, you can choose to leave things blank. I don't care. Just trying to get a feel for who I'm working with. Once you're done with that, we're doing the first of many, many practical lessons. You're going to be in groups of two and one group of three."
She read off the list. "Bridge and Belthazor, Nadia and Lana, Maia and Pip, Dawn and Sam, Phoebe, Blair and Samuel, and Seras and Demyx who were ALWAYS HERE. Get behind a table with your partners. If I said your name wrong or you prefer something else, I don't care but you can tell me anyway, I guess."
Becky strode over to a table, upon which were four elongated balloons (the sort used to make balloon animals) filled with...something. The something was made quite obvious as Becky picked up a can of whipped cream and sprayed it into the balloon. She stopped and tied off the balloon so that it was about seven inches long, and filled with enough whipped cream that it was taut, just like the other five balloons.
"Our activity for today," she said as she walked around and set a balloon and a foil-wrapped Trojan Magnum (lubricated and ribbed, for her pleasure!) on each table, "is to get the condom on the balloon. Which seems easy...'cept that there's been a tiny hole pricked in each balloon, in the...head, as it were." Becky snickered. "If you're not gentle, you'll get whipped cream everywhere. Once the condom is on, you can test to make sure you did it right by squeezing the balloon, which is really just like a male climax, though whipped cream, as I've said before, tastes a hell of a lot better. Unless the male in question regularly drinks pineapple juice, or so I've heard."
[ooc: First of all, wait for my OCD threads. OCD is up! I lied, I know I missed at least one person. Secondly, needless to say, this workshop might not be the safest for work. :)
Note on the balloons: they're...to scale. Average size you would expect. And they're filled with enough whipped cream that they're soft but taut enough that they won't, um, lose shape, so to speak. Feel free to mod them as necessary, but keep that pinprick in mind!]