Philosophy of Loss, Friday, 2nd Period
The classroom was normal today, beanbag chairs and all, and Didi had decided she didn't mind the holiday lights. They were festive.
"Hey," she said easily, as the students gathered. "Today we're talking about mourning fashion. Different cultures have different rituals, of course. For example, in India mourners wear white, and white was the color of mourning in Europe as well through medieval times. But the more typical color in Western societies is black."
She paused for a wry grin down at her own outfit.
"Now, these days, plenty of people wear all black because they like the way it looks, or because it's easy to match, or because it's fashionable. But in Victorian England and America, there were very strict rules around what you wore when you were mourning -- especially if you were a woman. Widows were supposed to wear head-to-toe black crepe for a year, nothing else. Even babies wore crepe armbands.
"After a year and a day, you could wear softer and shinier fabrics, or add some trim to your dresses. And at the end of the second year, you went into what was called 'half-mourning,' which meant you could slowly start introducing white, gray or mauve back into your wardrobe. You weren't supposed to wear ordinary clothes for two and a half years. Meanwhile, men just had to wear an everyday black suit with the black crepe as trim on their hat for the first three months."
"Understandably," she continued, "that kind of extreme mourning -- which only the wealthy could really afford anyhow -- didn't last forever. The tradition slowed around the turn of the century, and by the 1950s the custom had dwindled to six months or a year in black and other dark colors, like navy and deep green. These days, any dark clothing is considered okay for a funeral, and after that people don't wear anything special to show they're in mourning."
She paused there, pushed her hair out of her face. "My question for you is, was there some merit to the Victorian approach? It does take years to process the loss of a loved one. Maybe wearing clothes that let the world know what's going on with you isn't such a bad thing. On the other hand, grief can be immensely personal. Maybe it's better not to have to share it with everybody. What do you think?"
"Hey," she said easily, as the students gathered. "Today we're talking about mourning fashion. Different cultures have different rituals, of course. For example, in India mourners wear white, and white was the color of mourning in Europe as well through medieval times. But the more typical color in Western societies is black."
She paused for a wry grin down at her own outfit.
"Now, these days, plenty of people wear all black because they like the way it looks, or because it's easy to match, or because it's fashionable. But in Victorian England and America, there were very strict rules around what you wore when you were mourning -- especially if you were a woman. Widows were supposed to wear head-to-toe black crepe for a year, nothing else. Even babies wore crepe armbands.
"After a year and a day, you could wear softer and shinier fabrics, or add some trim to your dresses. And at the end of the second year, you went into what was called 'half-mourning,' which meant you could slowly start introducing white, gray or mauve back into your wardrobe. You weren't supposed to wear ordinary clothes for two and a half years. Meanwhile, men just had to wear an everyday black suit with the black crepe as trim on their hat for the first three months."
"Understandably," she continued, "that kind of extreme mourning -- which only the wealthy could really afford anyhow -- didn't last forever. The tradition slowed around the turn of the century, and by the 1950s the custom had dwindled to six months or a year in black and other dark colors, like navy and deep green. These days, any dark clothing is considered okay for a funeral, and after that people don't wear anything special to show they're in mourning."
She paused there, pushed her hair out of her face. "My question for you is, was there some merit to the Victorian approach? It does take years to process the loss of a loved one. Maybe wearing clothes that let the world know what's going on with you isn't such a bad thing. On the other hand, grief can be immensely personal. Maybe it's better not to have to share it with everybody. What do you think?"