Childcare For Idiots, Thursday, Period 1 - 5/12
Class on this fine, Icelandic day was greeted by a small pile of delicious, delicious candy waiting for them to help themselves to. Oh, and a guy in a red outfit that most certainly was not pajamas at all. Because that would be silly.
And a small, three year old child sitting at the desk, coloring what appeared to be dinosaurs. Oh yeah, this was learning through experience, people. Get used to it.
"Goooood mornin' class!" Deadpool said, bouncing on his heels as everyone filed on in. "Welcome to Childcare for Idiots. Because, trust me, on this island you're gonna need it. Whether it's due to random children from alternate universes that are just so goddamn precocious that you want to claw your own eyes out or because your roommate/bestie/significant other has magically turned into a small version of themselves... it's just gonna happen."
Deal with it.
"My name is Deadpool, only with better font. And this right here is Janice Summers. She is the mayor's kid and there will hell to pay if anyone harms a hair on her lil' ginger head. Got it?" he asked. "Good! Today we're gonna introduce ourselves and talk about how it's tempting to give kids candy and ice cream to stop them from making sad eyes or crying... the sugar high and crash after will probably change your mind preeeeetty quickly."
A beat.
"And they'll probably puke on you. Innit that right, Jan?"
Jan didn't even look up from her coloring book to call out, "Yeeeees, daaaad."
YOU HEARD NOTHING OF THE PATERNAL SORT HERE.
Deadpool cleared his throat, waving toward the candy. "Now grab some and introduce yourself and why you're here. Quickly, before I sic the kid on you. She has stickers and likes to braid hair. Just puttin' it out there."
And a small, three year old child sitting at the desk, coloring what appeared to be dinosaurs. Oh yeah, this was learning through experience, people. Get used to it.
"Goooood mornin' class!" Deadpool said, bouncing on his heels as everyone filed on in. "Welcome to Childcare for Idiots. Because, trust me, on this island you're gonna need it. Whether it's due to random children from alternate universes that are just so goddamn precocious that you want to claw your own eyes out or because your roommate/bestie/significant other has magically turned into a small version of themselves... it's just gonna happen."
Deal with it.
"My name is Deadpool, only with better font. And this right here is Janice Summers. She is the mayor's kid and there will hell to pay if anyone harms a hair on her lil' ginger head. Got it?" he asked. "Good! Today we're gonna introduce ourselves and talk about how it's tempting to give kids candy and ice cream to stop them from making sad eyes or crying... the sugar high and crash after will probably change your mind preeeeetty quickly."
A beat.
"And they'll probably puke on you. Innit that right, Jan?"
Jan didn't even look up from her coloring book to call out, "Yeeeees, daaaad."
YOU HEARD NOTHING OF THE PATERNAL SORT HERE.
Deadpool cleared his throat, waving toward the candy. "Now grab some and introduce yourself and why you're here. Quickly, before I sic the kid on you. She has stickers and likes to braid hair. Just puttin' it out there."