How to Be a Proper Sea Dog [Final!]

Apr 22, 2011 03:17

Hook had plans. Oh did he have plans. None of this 'tell me what you learned' nonsense. No, his students would have to do something for his final.

It was a larger vessel simulated in the Danger Shop that day, with a longer deck to accommodate the course that Hook had set up. The class was greeted by a smirking Hook, who was ready to unleash hell upon his students.

"To prove to me you paid attention at all during this class, you will run this course which covers many of the topics we covered. Follow me, I'll walk you through what you will do."

He grabbed a sword from a barrel and started walking. "First, like I have done, you will grab a sword which for your benefit is dull, much like the wits of some of you fine specimens of Fandom. Then you will hold it and make your way through this cargo netting on the deck, careful not to trip. A mere twenty-five feet, it should be no problem at all. When you get to the end, you'll notice the mannequins dressed is green outfits like that blasted Peter Pan. You will unleash your greatest swordfighting insult and strike the mannequin with all your might."

He did not demonstrate that, but then set down his sword. "Then you will abandon your weapon, and you will run to the starboard side of the deck like so," which he demonstrated. "Here you will see the muskets loaded with paintballs, grab one and then fire over the side and strike one of the inflatable bastard dolphins in the water. Set down the musket and then come to the port side of the vessel."

Once over there, there was the plank extended. "You have two choices, either walk the plank and swim for the rope ladder over the side to climb back up, or you may instead say 'I don't believe in fairies' ten times while doing ten jumping jacks. After that, you run to the top of the bridge of the vessel," Hook said, and he went up there himself. "And you grab a convenient wooden mallet," of which there were many about, "and you smash one of these clocks." Which there were many of them, as well. "And that is the end of the final. Your performance will be timed, and scored according to a special set of pirate criteria. You'll go one at a time, so feel free to limber up. That's good lads and lasses. Best of luck, best of luck, and remember that a true pirate never doubts, they merely forge ahead. Now who is first, eh?"

He waited for a volunteer. This would be a good day.

[ooc: Open and ready for victims! I mean, erm, students.]

sea dogs

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