Business 102: Friday, Period 3, Class 3
"This week," Jim said as the bell rang, "we're going to be talking about one of the most important things you can do for your sanity in an office: calling in sick. There are, of course, completely legitimate reasons to call in sick. Specifically, if you are sick. A bad cold, flu-like symptoms, a migraine that makes it tough to stand up, injuries.... All completely justifiable reasons to call in."
"There are other legitimate reasons: car problems, taking family members to the hospital, stuff like that. You didn't plan on it, but here it is and it actually comes before work in terms of priority. If you call in and explain that, you should be fine."
"Then you start getting to an iffy place. You're sick, sure, but you probably could just suck it up, take some over the counter meds, and go in. You probably won't infect anybody, but your stomach's feeling just bad enough for you to justify it to yourself. You really need a mental health day, where you're in such a unproductive mood that staying home is an improvement over what you would be doing at work. Or maybe you're really hungover to the point where sleep is really just more important to you than a day's wages. That has happened to people before. I've seen it and I've laughed at it. These are all excuses that a friendlier manager in a small office might accept - okay, maybe not he hangover one - but you'd better be really sure that they will be if you're going to consider telling the truth."
"But then you get to the good stuff: the days where you're just going to take off to go to a ball game, or you haven't actually finished drinking from last night - again, not a good idea," Jim said, looking into the camera. "Or, say you have a job interview and haven't told anyone that you're looking for something better. Basically, you have something you want to do more than go to work and nothing's going to stop you from doing it, but you can't actually justify it at all. So you call in and fake being sick."
"Colds are perfect for this. You can get a twenty-four hour bug that just knocks you for a loop, so it's not outside of the realm of possibilities if you only claim to be sick on occasion. Just don't sound happy when you're making that call. If you can sound sick, do it, but don't go over the top. Whatever you do, do NOT fake a cough. It sounds horrible and can probably be sniffed out pretty easily. The flu is tougher because you're still going to look sick for a few days after the flu. And never claim an injury you don't have. That's something that should stick with you for a while and you're going to have to really sell it to your boss afterwards. Plus, you're probably going to have to claim that you saw a doctor, which just adds too many layers to the lie."
"Of course, if you have a friend who is a doctor and owes you a favor, you probably have a lot more flexibility with all of that. So, in review, true reasons to skip work for sickness are bad. Made up reasons are good and fun, but takes some real focus and should only be used sparingly."
"Okay, with that in mind, let's come up with your best three excuses for calling in."
"There are other legitimate reasons: car problems, taking family members to the hospital, stuff like that. You didn't plan on it, but here it is and it actually comes before work in terms of priority. If you call in and explain that, you should be fine."
"Then you start getting to an iffy place. You're sick, sure, but you probably could just suck it up, take some over the counter meds, and go in. You probably won't infect anybody, but your stomach's feeling just bad enough for you to justify it to yourself. You really need a mental health day, where you're in such a unproductive mood that staying home is an improvement over what you would be doing at work. Or maybe you're really hungover to the point where sleep is really just more important to you than a day's wages. That has happened to people before. I've seen it and I've laughed at it. These are all excuses that a friendlier manager in a small office might accept - okay, maybe not he hangover one - but you'd better be really sure that they will be if you're going to consider telling the truth."
"But then you get to the good stuff: the days where you're just going to take off to go to a ball game, or you haven't actually finished drinking from last night - again, not a good idea," Jim said, looking into the camera. "Or, say you have a job interview and haven't told anyone that you're looking for something better. Basically, you have something you want to do more than go to work and nothing's going to stop you from doing it, but you can't actually justify it at all. So you call in and fake being sick."
"Colds are perfect for this. You can get a twenty-four hour bug that just knocks you for a loop, so it's not outside of the realm of possibilities if you only claim to be sick on occasion. Just don't sound happy when you're making that call. If you can sound sick, do it, but don't go over the top. Whatever you do, do NOT fake a cough. It sounds horrible and can probably be sniffed out pretty easily. The flu is tougher because you're still going to look sick for a few days after the flu. And never claim an injury you don't have. That's something that should stick with you for a while and you're going to have to really sell it to your boss afterwards. Plus, you're probably going to have to claim that you saw a doctor, which just adds too many layers to the lie."
"Of course, if you have a friend who is a doctor and owes you a favor, you probably have a lot more flexibility with all of that. So, in review, true reasons to skip work for sickness are bad. Made up reasons are good and fun, but takes some real focus and should only be used sparingly."
"Okay, with that in mind, let's come up with your best three excuses for calling in."