Tuesday, May 22 - Period 3 - Advanced Beginner's Guide to look, they don't remember it either

May 22, 2007 04:27

The most amazing thing is that both Jerries were there in the Activities Area for class again this week.

"Welcome, welcome, welcome!" One Jerry blew a loud noisemaker. "And happy new year!"

"Welcome to Alcoholics Anonymous."

"And since it is Anonymous, you must give us all fake names. FAKE NAMES ONLY!"

"For example, I shall be Steve, although my real name is Jerry Sizzler!"

"And I am his sister, Jerry Sizzler!"

"But this week, you are also Steve!"

"Yes, Jerry!"

"Happy New Year, Steve!"

"Thank you, Jerry! This week on Cooking for Bachelors, we will teach you how to make ..."

"Papier-mâché bricks!" both shouted at once.

They waved their arms to indicate the materials they'd brought. The table in front of them had a large number of bricks, some hammers, a few pairs of scissors, cannisters of flour, several gallon-sized jugs of water, some nutmeg, a little oregano, some frozen lima beans (now thawing), a box of wine, an entire stack of newspapers, a wrench, seven ballpoint pens, and a stapler. A red stapler. Don't take it.

They explained the process very carefully as detailed below in the convenient OCD threads. Well, as carefully as one could when one was a Jerry off his meds. And they were. So very, very off their meds.

When all of the steps were completed - more or less - the Jerries waved to where they probably thought there was an oven.

"Now. Place your creation in the oven at 300 degrees!"

"What a lovely treat for your husband when he comes home from work!"

"He's cheating on you! The lying bastard!"

"Stab him! Stab him!"

"Stab him with Ritz crackers!"

"That's all for this week! We will have your finished pottery clay lumps on Thursday!"

"Please come back next week for Dancing with Celebrities!"

"Jerry! I am not a celebrity! I am incognito!"

"No! But Jerry! ... So am I!"

"Steve! We must run!"

And so they did. Far, far away.

(Please wait for OCD up. Insanity Inside. Play on, kiddies.)

guide to carrots

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