Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
Title: Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
Author: burntotears
Pairing: Rachel/Puck
Rating: R
Word Count: 3973
Spoilers: All aired episodes including Sectionals.
Disclaimer: © Fox
A/N: Angst was inspired by these three fics written by the lovely soliloquyrain, theberrifairy and becca_radcgg. I blame them.
- Angst also inspired by Jack Johnson's Sitting, Waiting, Wishing.
- Retirement party idea from justprompts.
------
Puck’s hand slammed down on the center of his steering wheel, the horn blasting out load and shocking in the quiet night air. Was he really doing this again? Waiting on her? He’d already played this fucking game, already danced this fucking dance and he sure as hell had already sung this mother fucking song.
But no, he didn’t leave then like his brain told him he should. He was so fucking stupid, sitting here in his truck, idling away the minutes as he stared at his best friend’s house and his girlfriend’s car parked in front of it. No, she wasn’t his girlfriend-she wasn’t his anything, but he sure as hell was her fucking fool.
And then he realized he just honked his horn, sitting outside his house, and now they were coming outside to see what it was. “FUCK!” He screamed and threw the truck into drive, peeling out before he could even go anywhere. Now they fucking saw him and how pathetic he really was and she was going to enjoy every second of it because that’s what she did. She played him better than he could play his own guitar and he kept coming back for more because she always, always called him again.
And he would always answer.
-----
Lord knows that this world is cruel and I ain't the lord, no I'm just a fool,
learning loving somebody don't make them love you
-----
He did answer, when she called him five minutes later. “Noah?” She asked in that quiet, sweet, caring voice that was the biggest fucking ruse he’d ever seen in his life. He thought he was a player, but she was an MVP compared to him.
“What?” He spat out with venom, which she had heard before. She’d seen him angry before and she’d calmed him down before. She always got what she wanted because he was always too much of a pussy to deny her of it.
“Will you meet me? At the school?” She still sounded innocent, like she was the victim and could not understand how he, Noah Puckerman, could be angry at someone so small and delicate as she.
“Ok,” he said simply and hung up. Even now, even after what he’d just seen he still couldn’t grow the balls to walk away from her.
And he used to call Finn whipped. Puck would kill himself if she said it would make her happy. Yeah, she’s fucking great, isn’t she?
-----
must I always be waiting, waiting on you,
must I always be playing, playing your fool
-----
He didn't even get out of his truck. He saw her, sitting in her vehicle, probably scared to be walking around in a parking lot at night, even if it was the school and even if he was sitting right there watching her.
She got out of her car and walked to the passenger side of his truck. For a second he considered leaving the doors locked, letting her tug on the handle and look at him desperately as if she were being betrayed by her own father. Fathers. He unlocked the door and she pulled herself inside, sitting and shutting the door with a thud. He said nothing, he didn't even look at her, but he knew that she was looking at him.
"What were you…" she started but then abandoned that statement. She already knew the answer. She knew what she was doing to him and she didn't give a shit. She was here, now, to rub it in his face like a puppy who pissed on the carpet.
"Noah," she said instead, trying a different route to whatever excuse she has planned for him. Why didn't they just skip this part and go to the sex, in which she got all the pleasure and none of the pain? "It isn't what you think. What you saw was-"
"You and Finn practicing for Glee together?" He knew how cold his voice was and he knew the connotation that his words carried. He recalled then the many times that the two of them had 'practiced' for Glee together. She knew what he was getting at; unlike Finn, she was not an idiot.
"Noah, we aren't even dating," she began pleading, an air of sarcasm in her voice that felt like a slap on his stupid face.
"Right. We're just fucking. Thanks for the reminder, Berry, I think I've got it down now. Are we done here or did you want to take advantage of this time we have together?" If he had thought of it just then, he would have added a contemptuous 'as you wish' just to piss her off.
"Noah, I never said-" but he cut her off easily by kissing her. He would rather not listen to her pathetic attempts at appeasing his hurt pride. It was all her fault anyway. His lips against hers were not his usual; he crushed them hard and demanding, biting at her bottom lip harder than he knew he should and tasted the blood before she pulled away.
She still had the ability to surprise him though. When he backed off she had tears welling in her eyes. Despite his anger and his resolve, he deflated like a popped balloon. "Why are you doing this?" She asked in such a shaky voice that he wanted to pull her to him in a hug and rock her like a baby.
He didn't, which called to a small bit of control he still had over his own actions. At least he had that much.
"I'm just doing what you want, Berry. You just want to fuck me and then run to Finn and tell him that you love him and want to spend the rest of your life having retarded children and terrible sex with him."
Rachel shook her head and sucked in her bottom lip to get rid of the blood that pooled there. The bite was already clotting. "Noah, I don't just…just fuck you." She had trouble getting the crude language out and when she did, she sounded like a child saying something she knew she wasn't allowed to.
He threw his hands up in defeat. She really thought him a fucking douche of an idiot if she thought he'd buy that line. "Then why were you there?" She would know what he was referring to. He didn't have to explain.
"Finn wanted to talk to me about Quinn, if you must know." That sounded fucking likely to Puck. Like Finn would ask his second girlfriend what he should do about his first one.
"And did you suck his dick? Let him fuck you on the kitchen counter while you 'talked about Quinn'?" His words were daggers and he wanted them to hit their target: her heart.
"Why are you acting like this? You have sex with Santana and every cougar you can get your hands on and you are trying to judge me on my relationship with Finn?"
Relationship. At least she didn't deny it. "I tried to date you, Berry. You dumped me for Finn, as I recall. The guy who wasn't even available at the time."
"Oh and you're available are you, Puck?" She scoffed at him and her anger was growing. It wasn't anything he'd ever seen before, besides in tirades about an awful casting for some boring Broadway show. Plus she never called him Puck. Never. "I heard what you were doing when you were helping Quinn babysit. Even if I were fucking Finn I don't see how that is any different from what you do every other day!"
Puck was shaking his head, his anger raging through him like a blazing fire. "I don't do that anymore," he spoke in a somewhat calm manner, but she was too pissed to even pay attention to that.
"Oh really? And why would that be, Puck?" Hearing her call him by that name seemed wrong. It was worse than her not speaking to him at all.
"Because I fucking love you, Rachel, that's why!" Oh great. He hadn't told her that before, though she could have guessed at it if she had half a brain.
Apparently Finn was wearing off on her, because she gaped at him like a stupid sucker fish, mouth opening and closing without sound.
For some reason her becoming speechless roused him again and he unlocked the doors. "Whatever. I'm done with your shit, Berry. Enjoy your idiotic husband and I hope you love your dumb as fuck children as much as you love him." He reached over her and opened the door. It wasn't an offer for her to get out, it was a demand. She was apparently too shocked not to comply and stepped out of the truck. He slammed the door shut and drove off.
-----
but Lord knows that I'm not you and if I was I wouldn't be so cruel,
cause waiting on love ain't so easy to do
-----
Puck was now pretty sure he was a fucking idiot, in some ways enough so to rival Finn Hudson, the Grand Champion of douche-dom. And in all actuality, Puck felt like a dick for always calling Finn stupid, even now when he was just trying to comfort himself with some slights toward his best friend. Finn was his best friend and really the only fault Puck could peg him with was his ability to be so damned likable that he gets every single girl (and gay guy!) to fall in love with him.
And Finn, being the loveable, caring, dorkiest retard known to man, was totally clueless when it came to any kind of attraction, especially any of it that was directed at him. Puck could spot lust and love sick on people’s faces miles away because he was fairly good at reading people even if he wanted to pretend he was a social miscreant that wanted nothing more than a fuck and a cold beer. (Which were things that he wanted, but it wasn’t all he wanted out of life.)
And now he was here, parked in his truck in the mall parking lot, staring at the sky as it shed its shell of deep blue-black to reveal a light orange-pink. He hadn’t gone home and he hadn’t slept and he hadn’t even fully comprehended what he had said last night-until now that is.
“Puckerman, I should kick your ass,” he scoffed at himself. Really? How fucking stupid could he be to say that to her?
His phone started vibrating. For a moment he was frozen stiff, afraid of the caller on the other end. Even if it was Rachel, he’d end up answering no matter how much of a fool he felt.
It wasn’t Rachel. In fact he was flabbergasted when he saw who it was. “Hello,” he spoke in a boyish voice that made him cringe. Was he fucking twelve years old now?
“Hey man,” came Finn’s reply. Puck heard a strange noise erupt from Finn’s throat, as though he had words that he couldn’t bring himself to vomit out.
“What’s up, dude?” Puck answered, treading on the ice so carefully he felt like a pro-skater.
“Can we uh…can we talk?” Puck ignored the fact that it sounded like he and Finn were hoping for make-up sex. He was floored that Finn wanted to talk to him at all and he wasn’t going to ruin it by being a total fuck-up. He’d done that once already.
-----
I was sitting, waiting, wishing you believed in superstitions,
then maybe you'd see the signs
-----
Finn stood so awkwardly next to Puck that he suspected Finn might just start wailing on his face again; he had every right to do so. He didn’t though, so Puck held his ground firmly and waited for Finn to say his piece.
“I don’t think I was fair about this,” he managed finally, glancing at Puck for just a second then staring at his hands that he was picking at. “I mean, yeah, I was pissed as hell at you for…it, but I was mad at you and not really mad at Quinn and that’s not cool.”
Puck felt like the world must be coming to an end, because there was no possible way he was hearing what he thought he was hearing Finn say. He almost snorted at the thought, but Finn would take that the wrong way and he did not need another thing to go horribly wrong in his pathetic life.
“Rachel told me…” Finn started to say and Puck’s head shot up so fast he probably had whip-lash. He looked over at Finn at the mention of her name, because what the hell did she have to do with this situation? “She told me how stupid I was being, considering what Quinn is going through right now. Her parents kicked her out and she’s already devastated, the last thing she needs right now is us fighting about what happened.
“Rachel said that I was putting all the blame on you for it and it wasn’t just you who did it, which is true.” He stopped talking then and Puck was struck dumb, now knowing that Rachel had been defending him. She had been trying to help fix things between him and his best friend and he had accused her of-he moaned in frustration. He was even a bigger fucking idiot than he originally thought.
Finn looked over at him quizzically. “I’m not…I’m still pissed at you, Puck. I am not sure if I can even trust you again. But right now…right now Quinn needs support-from the both of us-and she is only going to be stressed out if we are constantly at each other’s throats. I’m not forgiving you, but I am calling a truce. For now.” Finn held out his hand toward Puck and Puck looked at it as though it were a tentacle.
If he were not so preoccupied with the fact that he’d royally screwed up with Rachel, he would be able to focus on the fact that Finn was actually being nice to him-the guy who slept with his best friend’s girlfriend. Puck had enough sense to grasp Finn’s hand and make things official, but his brain was somewhere else entirely.
-----
I keep playing your part but it's not my scene,
want this plot to twist, I've had enough mystery
-----
Puck had no idea what he was doing and at this point he did not care. Even though, at the present time, he was sitting outside CiCi’s Pizza, about to crash Rachel’s grandmother’s retirement party, he felt some sort of strange warmth in his stomach he was not used to. He wondered if he was sick but he didn’t have time to mess with that shit so he got out of his truck and headed toward the door.
The familiar-and annoying-crew of pizza makers screamed “Hi! Welcome to CiCi’s,” as he entered and normally he would want to shout back “Hi! Fuck you!” but he didn’t do that because the restaurant was filled with old people and Rachel’s gay dads and Rachel. One of her dads was the first to spot him, squint, and recognize him. He frowned and Puck felt the shame color his cheeks even though there was no fucking way her dad knew about what he’d done or said. That dad touched Rachel’s shoulder lightly and nodded toward Puck’s direction. Rachel looked up at him, taking a second to recognize his face and for once he couldn’t read the expression she was now wearing. She excused herself politely and started toward him and he walked back out the door and went around the side of the building, waiting for her to come out and meet him.
When she rounded the corner she was jogging and had to slow down before she ran into him. “Oh hey. I thought maybe you’d left.” Did that mean something? “What…what are you doing here, Noah? I am fairly certain you don’t know my Nana and while she does have a pool, I would think you held a set of standards that did not extend to the age of 76.”
His nose wrinkled in disgust at the thought, but he tried to clear his face quickly because what if she was offended that he was not interested in banging her grandmother? Wait, why the fuck would she be disappointed about that?
He was pulled from his deranged thoughts when Rachel giggled quietly and a smile grew automatically across his face at the sound of it. He ran his hand over his mohawk nervously, trying to hide the fact that his hand was shaking. He was a fucking pussy is what he was.
“I uh…I’m…” Regardless of the fact that he felt like an asshole, he could not bring himself to apologize. It seemed ingrained in his mind that he had no reason to apologize for anything he did because that’s just ‘who he was’ and if someone doesn’t like it, fuck them. But that wasn’t going to work if he wanted to get into Rachel’s pants again. If she’d even let him now. He tried, instead, “I fucked up, Rachel. Finn told me-”
“Oh you talked to Finn? Did you guys make up then?” She seemed entirely uninterested in the fact that he had accused her of kitchen-fucking Finn and was instead only interested in whether or not they were friends again. Who was this crazy fiend and how did she affect him the way she did?
“Well, not really. I mean, he wants to keep things civil so Quinn doesn’t get stressed out since she’s already going to be fucking nuts while pregnant with the hormones and shit so at least he doesn’t plan to deck me every time he sees me.” Puck was unsure if he was even speaking English, but she nodded her head as if she understood whatever nonsense was flowing from his lips. “Thanks Rachel,” he added, in a semi-tender voice that was only a little bit uncomfortable for him.
That smile. When it broke across her face he felt like he was being sucker punched in the gut by a sumo wrestler. “I’m such a dick,” he said aloud unintentionally and her brow raised on her forehead.
“Noah, you aren’t…” She placed a hand on his upper arm and the contact seemed to make her lose her train of thought. She looked at her hand and then into his face, as though she expected him to throw her across the parking lot for touching him. He felt shitty for giving her that impression, but it was his own fault.
Then time seemed to stop and they just stood there staring at each other like utter retards and why the hell was she so fucking hot, anyway? He wanted to throw her against the brick wall and bury his face in her breasts because damnit they were practically perfect.
The last thing he could have expected was for her to lean up into him and press her lips against his. In fact his head was so focused on the thought of his mouth on her nipples that he was getting hard and didn’t even register what she was actually doing right then. He hesitated too long and suddenly she was backing away, looking frightened and sad and confused and so goddamn sexy he could not be expected to control himself anymore.
Lucky for him, she did not hold him accountable for his following actions and-so he liked to think-rather enjoyed them more than she would ever admit to. He snaked his hand around her waist and pulled her to him, his mouth already over hers before her body pressed fully against his. She made a tiny yelping noise of surprise into his mouth, her lips parting from it which he used as an invitation to explore her mouth with his tongue. The kiss felt hotter than it should considering they were standing in a shopping mall parking lot where anyone could drive by and catch them; that’s probably what made it so exciting.
His hand cupped the back of her head so that he could press her back against the brick wall without knocking her head against it. He was pushing himself against her so firmly that his knuckles were grinding against the concrete, scratching and possibly bleeding but he did not give a flying fuck if his hand just fell right off at that moment.
Rachel’s hands were trapped between them, first resting against his chest but eventually gripping at the material of his t-shirt until she was making fists, tugging, as though she thought she could pull him closer than he already was. He did not want to pull away from her, but he was getting dizzy and realized he wasn’t breathing which would probably become detrimental if he hoped to kiss her anymore. When he pulled back and managed to pry his eyes opened he looked down at her face; her eyes were still closed and she was breathing hot breath against his face and he could smell cheese and pepperoni and shit, he was actually kind of hungry. She opened her eyes and looked at him then and he thought maybe his heart had just stopped beating.
When he felt the blood rushing through his veins again, he realized that most of it was pooling in his dick and-oh shit-he was pressed right against her thigh and felt the heat radiating between the two of them. His hips rocked against her thigh at their own accord and she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, looking shy as though she was not intimately familiar with his junk already. He was surprised he didn’t just blow his load right then because there was no way she was not doing this to torture him mercilessly.
“Noah we can’t…my whole family is right in there.” She said it in a tone that sounded almost annoyed and that caused a smile to grace his face. She tried to hit him in the chest but she couldn’t move her hand because his body was still laid against her own. “It’s not funny!” Now she was indignant and he was grinning like the fool he no longer cared that he was.
To be an ass, he rocked his hips against her again and she gasped up at him, which he then swallowed with a kiss. Though he did not want to, though he would rather cut off his own dick than back away from her then, he did. He brought his hand down to see that he was bleeding, but he barely felt it.
“Noah! What happened?” She looked so shocked one would think she had turned a corner and found him naked and waiting. Fuck, why did he always think of this shit when he couldn’t do anything about it? She held his hand and rubbed the sides of his fingers with her own and he knew she was not trying to tease him but shit. Rachel pulled his hand to her mouth and kissed it-no she fucking sucked some of the blood from his knuckles and he was really about to come in his pants. He reverted to a thirteen year old prepubescent teen who had just tried to masturbate for the first time in his life and was going to come before he even got his jeans undone.
While he struggled internally with his thirteen year old self, she lowered his hand and grinned at him. “I’ve got to go back inside. My Dads are going to worry you are doing something to me you aren’t supposed to be.” If he were not so wonderfully composed (don’t judge him!) he would have whimpered at her then. “Do you want me to call you? When I am done here?”
He nodded at her stupidly. She said something that sounded like ‘great’ and kissed him again, quickly, then turned around and left him staring after her like a brainless fuckface. Puck walked back to his truck in a haze and when he was safe inside its confined, dark interior, he jacked off there in the middle of the CiCi’s parking lot. It was probably the best orgasm he had had in at least a week.
-----
well if I was in your position I'd put down all my ammunition,
I'd wonder why it had taken me so long
-----
-fin-
Author: burntotears
Pairing: Rachel/Puck
Rating: R
Word Count: 3973
Spoilers: All aired episodes including Sectionals.
Disclaimer: © Fox
A/N: Angst was inspired by these three fics written by the lovely soliloquyrain, theberrifairy and becca_radcgg. I blame them.
- Angst also inspired by Jack Johnson's Sitting, Waiting, Wishing.
- Retirement party idea from justprompts.
------
Puck’s hand slammed down on the center of his steering wheel, the horn blasting out load and shocking in the quiet night air. Was he really doing this again? Waiting on her? He’d already played this fucking game, already danced this fucking dance and he sure as hell had already sung this mother fucking song.
But no, he didn’t leave then like his brain told him he should. He was so fucking stupid, sitting here in his truck, idling away the minutes as he stared at his best friend’s house and his girlfriend’s car parked in front of it. No, she wasn’t his girlfriend-she wasn’t his anything, but he sure as hell was her fucking fool.
And then he realized he just honked his horn, sitting outside his house, and now they were coming outside to see what it was. “FUCK!” He screamed and threw the truck into drive, peeling out before he could even go anywhere. Now they fucking saw him and how pathetic he really was and she was going to enjoy every second of it because that’s what she did. She played him better than he could play his own guitar and he kept coming back for more because she always, always called him again.
And he would always answer.
-----
Lord knows that this world is cruel and I ain't the lord, no I'm just a fool,
learning loving somebody don't make them love you
-----
He did answer, when she called him five minutes later. “Noah?” She asked in that quiet, sweet, caring voice that was the biggest fucking ruse he’d ever seen in his life. He thought he was a player, but she was an MVP compared to him.
“What?” He spat out with venom, which she had heard before. She’d seen him angry before and she’d calmed him down before. She always got what she wanted because he was always too much of a pussy to deny her of it.
“Will you meet me? At the school?” She still sounded innocent, like she was the victim and could not understand how he, Noah Puckerman, could be angry at someone so small and delicate as she.
“Ok,” he said simply and hung up. Even now, even after what he’d just seen he still couldn’t grow the balls to walk away from her.
And he used to call Finn whipped. Puck would kill himself if she said it would make her happy. Yeah, she’s fucking great, isn’t she?
-----
must I always be waiting, waiting on you,
must I always be playing, playing your fool
-----
He didn't even get out of his truck. He saw her, sitting in her vehicle, probably scared to be walking around in a parking lot at night, even if it was the school and even if he was sitting right there watching her.
She got out of her car and walked to the passenger side of his truck. For a second he considered leaving the doors locked, letting her tug on the handle and look at him desperately as if she were being betrayed by her own father. Fathers. He unlocked the door and she pulled herself inside, sitting and shutting the door with a thud. He said nothing, he didn't even look at her, but he knew that she was looking at him.
"What were you…" she started but then abandoned that statement. She already knew the answer. She knew what she was doing to him and she didn't give a shit. She was here, now, to rub it in his face like a puppy who pissed on the carpet.
"Noah," she said instead, trying a different route to whatever excuse she has planned for him. Why didn't they just skip this part and go to the sex, in which she got all the pleasure and none of the pain? "It isn't what you think. What you saw was-"
"You and Finn practicing for Glee together?" He knew how cold his voice was and he knew the connotation that his words carried. He recalled then the many times that the two of them had 'practiced' for Glee together. She knew what he was getting at; unlike Finn, she was not an idiot.
"Noah, we aren't even dating," she began pleading, an air of sarcasm in her voice that felt like a slap on his stupid face.
"Right. We're just fucking. Thanks for the reminder, Berry, I think I've got it down now. Are we done here or did you want to take advantage of this time we have together?" If he had thought of it just then, he would have added a contemptuous 'as you wish' just to piss her off.
"Noah, I never said-" but he cut her off easily by kissing her. He would rather not listen to her pathetic attempts at appeasing his hurt pride. It was all her fault anyway. His lips against hers were not his usual; he crushed them hard and demanding, biting at her bottom lip harder than he knew he should and tasted the blood before she pulled away.
She still had the ability to surprise him though. When he backed off she had tears welling in her eyes. Despite his anger and his resolve, he deflated like a popped balloon. "Why are you doing this?" She asked in such a shaky voice that he wanted to pull her to him in a hug and rock her like a baby.
He didn't, which called to a small bit of control he still had over his own actions. At least he had that much.
"I'm just doing what you want, Berry. You just want to fuck me and then run to Finn and tell him that you love him and want to spend the rest of your life having retarded children and terrible sex with him."
Rachel shook her head and sucked in her bottom lip to get rid of the blood that pooled there. The bite was already clotting. "Noah, I don't just…just fuck you." She had trouble getting the crude language out and when she did, she sounded like a child saying something she knew she wasn't allowed to.
He threw his hands up in defeat. She really thought him a fucking douche of an idiot if she thought he'd buy that line. "Then why were you there?" She would know what he was referring to. He didn't have to explain.
"Finn wanted to talk to me about Quinn, if you must know." That sounded fucking likely to Puck. Like Finn would ask his second girlfriend what he should do about his first one.
"And did you suck his dick? Let him fuck you on the kitchen counter while you 'talked about Quinn'?" His words were daggers and he wanted them to hit their target: her heart.
"Why are you acting like this? You have sex with Santana and every cougar you can get your hands on and you are trying to judge me on my relationship with Finn?"
Relationship. At least she didn't deny it. "I tried to date you, Berry. You dumped me for Finn, as I recall. The guy who wasn't even available at the time."
"Oh and you're available are you, Puck?" She scoffed at him and her anger was growing. It wasn't anything he'd ever seen before, besides in tirades about an awful casting for some boring Broadway show. Plus she never called him Puck. Never. "I heard what you were doing when you were helping Quinn babysit. Even if I were fucking Finn I don't see how that is any different from what you do every other day!"
Puck was shaking his head, his anger raging through him like a blazing fire. "I don't do that anymore," he spoke in a somewhat calm manner, but she was too pissed to even pay attention to that.
"Oh really? And why would that be, Puck?" Hearing her call him by that name seemed wrong. It was worse than her not speaking to him at all.
"Because I fucking love you, Rachel, that's why!" Oh great. He hadn't told her that before, though she could have guessed at it if she had half a brain.
Apparently Finn was wearing off on her, because she gaped at him like a stupid sucker fish, mouth opening and closing without sound.
For some reason her becoming speechless roused him again and he unlocked the doors. "Whatever. I'm done with your shit, Berry. Enjoy your idiotic husband and I hope you love your dumb as fuck children as much as you love him." He reached over her and opened the door. It wasn't an offer for her to get out, it was a demand. She was apparently too shocked not to comply and stepped out of the truck. He slammed the door shut and drove off.
-----
but Lord knows that I'm not you and if I was I wouldn't be so cruel,
cause waiting on love ain't so easy to do
-----
Puck was now pretty sure he was a fucking idiot, in some ways enough so to rival Finn Hudson, the Grand Champion of douche-dom. And in all actuality, Puck felt like a dick for always calling Finn stupid, even now when he was just trying to comfort himself with some slights toward his best friend. Finn was his best friend and really the only fault Puck could peg him with was his ability to be so damned likable that he gets every single girl (and gay guy!) to fall in love with him.
And Finn, being the loveable, caring, dorkiest retard known to man, was totally clueless when it came to any kind of attraction, especially any of it that was directed at him. Puck could spot lust and love sick on people’s faces miles away because he was fairly good at reading people even if he wanted to pretend he was a social miscreant that wanted nothing more than a fuck and a cold beer. (Which were things that he wanted, but it wasn’t all he wanted out of life.)
And now he was here, parked in his truck in the mall parking lot, staring at the sky as it shed its shell of deep blue-black to reveal a light orange-pink. He hadn’t gone home and he hadn’t slept and he hadn’t even fully comprehended what he had said last night-until now that is.
“Puckerman, I should kick your ass,” he scoffed at himself. Really? How fucking stupid could he be to say that to her?
His phone started vibrating. For a moment he was frozen stiff, afraid of the caller on the other end. Even if it was Rachel, he’d end up answering no matter how much of a fool he felt.
It wasn’t Rachel. In fact he was flabbergasted when he saw who it was. “Hello,” he spoke in a boyish voice that made him cringe. Was he fucking twelve years old now?
“Hey man,” came Finn’s reply. Puck heard a strange noise erupt from Finn’s throat, as though he had words that he couldn’t bring himself to vomit out.
“What’s up, dude?” Puck answered, treading on the ice so carefully he felt like a pro-skater.
“Can we uh…can we talk?” Puck ignored the fact that it sounded like he and Finn were hoping for make-up sex. He was floored that Finn wanted to talk to him at all and he wasn’t going to ruin it by being a total fuck-up. He’d done that once already.
-----
I was sitting, waiting, wishing you believed in superstitions,
then maybe you'd see the signs
-----
Finn stood so awkwardly next to Puck that he suspected Finn might just start wailing on his face again; he had every right to do so. He didn’t though, so Puck held his ground firmly and waited for Finn to say his piece.
“I don’t think I was fair about this,” he managed finally, glancing at Puck for just a second then staring at his hands that he was picking at. “I mean, yeah, I was pissed as hell at you for…it, but I was mad at you and not really mad at Quinn and that’s not cool.”
Puck felt like the world must be coming to an end, because there was no possible way he was hearing what he thought he was hearing Finn say. He almost snorted at the thought, but Finn would take that the wrong way and he did not need another thing to go horribly wrong in his pathetic life.
“Rachel told me…” Finn started to say and Puck’s head shot up so fast he probably had whip-lash. He looked over at Finn at the mention of her name, because what the hell did she have to do with this situation? “She told me how stupid I was being, considering what Quinn is going through right now. Her parents kicked her out and she’s already devastated, the last thing she needs right now is us fighting about what happened.
“Rachel said that I was putting all the blame on you for it and it wasn’t just you who did it, which is true.” He stopped talking then and Puck was struck dumb, now knowing that Rachel had been defending him. She had been trying to help fix things between him and his best friend and he had accused her of-he moaned in frustration. He was even a bigger fucking idiot than he originally thought.
Finn looked over at him quizzically. “I’m not…I’m still pissed at you, Puck. I am not sure if I can even trust you again. But right now…right now Quinn needs support-from the both of us-and she is only going to be stressed out if we are constantly at each other’s throats. I’m not forgiving you, but I am calling a truce. For now.” Finn held out his hand toward Puck and Puck looked at it as though it were a tentacle.
If he were not so preoccupied with the fact that he’d royally screwed up with Rachel, he would be able to focus on the fact that Finn was actually being nice to him-the guy who slept with his best friend’s girlfriend. Puck had enough sense to grasp Finn’s hand and make things official, but his brain was somewhere else entirely.
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I keep playing your part but it's not my scene,
want this plot to twist, I've had enough mystery
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Puck had no idea what he was doing and at this point he did not care. Even though, at the present time, he was sitting outside CiCi’s Pizza, about to crash Rachel’s grandmother’s retirement party, he felt some sort of strange warmth in his stomach he was not used to. He wondered if he was sick but he didn’t have time to mess with that shit so he got out of his truck and headed toward the door.
The familiar-and annoying-crew of pizza makers screamed “Hi! Welcome to CiCi’s,” as he entered and normally he would want to shout back “Hi! Fuck you!” but he didn’t do that because the restaurant was filled with old people and Rachel’s gay dads and Rachel. One of her dads was the first to spot him, squint, and recognize him. He frowned and Puck felt the shame color his cheeks even though there was no fucking way her dad knew about what he’d done or said. That dad touched Rachel’s shoulder lightly and nodded toward Puck’s direction. Rachel looked up at him, taking a second to recognize his face and for once he couldn’t read the expression she was now wearing. She excused herself politely and started toward him and he walked back out the door and went around the side of the building, waiting for her to come out and meet him.
When she rounded the corner she was jogging and had to slow down before she ran into him. “Oh hey. I thought maybe you’d left.” Did that mean something? “What…what are you doing here, Noah? I am fairly certain you don’t know my Nana and while she does have a pool, I would think you held a set of standards that did not extend to the age of 76.”
His nose wrinkled in disgust at the thought, but he tried to clear his face quickly because what if she was offended that he was not interested in banging her grandmother? Wait, why the fuck would she be disappointed about that?
He was pulled from his deranged thoughts when Rachel giggled quietly and a smile grew automatically across his face at the sound of it. He ran his hand over his mohawk nervously, trying to hide the fact that his hand was shaking. He was a fucking pussy is what he was.
“I uh…I’m…” Regardless of the fact that he felt like an asshole, he could not bring himself to apologize. It seemed ingrained in his mind that he had no reason to apologize for anything he did because that’s just ‘who he was’ and if someone doesn’t like it, fuck them. But that wasn’t going to work if he wanted to get into Rachel’s pants again. If she’d even let him now. He tried, instead, “I fucked up, Rachel. Finn told me-”
“Oh you talked to Finn? Did you guys make up then?” She seemed entirely uninterested in the fact that he had accused her of kitchen-fucking Finn and was instead only interested in whether or not they were friends again. Who was this crazy fiend and how did she affect him the way she did?
“Well, not really. I mean, he wants to keep things civil so Quinn doesn’t get stressed out since she’s already going to be fucking nuts while pregnant with the hormones and shit so at least he doesn’t plan to deck me every time he sees me.” Puck was unsure if he was even speaking English, but she nodded her head as if she understood whatever nonsense was flowing from his lips. “Thanks Rachel,” he added, in a semi-tender voice that was only a little bit uncomfortable for him.
That smile. When it broke across her face he felt like he was being sucker punched in the gut by a sumo wrestler. “I’m such a dick,” he said aloud unintentionally and her brow raised on her forehead.
“Noah, you aren’t…” She placed a hand on his upper arm and the contact seemed to make her lose her train of thought. She looked at her hand and then into his face, as though she expected him to throw her across the parking lot for touching him. He felt shitty for giving her that impression, but it was his own fault.
Then time seemed to stop and they just stood there staring at each other like utter retards and why the hell was she so fucking hot, anyway? He wanted to throw her against the brick wall and bury his face in her breasts because damnit they were practically perfect.
The last thing he could have expected was for her to lean up into him and press her lips against his. In fact his head was so focused on the thought of his mouth on her nipples that he was getting hard and didn’t even register what she was actually doing right then. He hesitated too long and suddenly she was backing away, looking frightened and sad and confused and so goddamn sexy he could not be expected to control himself anymore.
Lucky for him, she did not hold him accountable for his following actions and-so he liked to think-rather enjoyed them more than she would ever admit to. He snaked his hand around her waist and pulled her to him, his mouth already over hers before her body pressed fully against his. She made a tiny yelping noise of surprise into his mouth, her lips parting from it which he used as an invitation to explore her mouth with his tongue. The kiss felt hotter than it should considering they were standing in a shopping mall parking lot where anyone could drive by and catch them; that’s probably what made it so exciting.
His hand cupped the back of her head so that he could press her back against the brick wall without knocking her head against it. He was pushing himself against her so firmly that his knuckles were grinding against the concrete, scratching and possibly bleeding but he did not give a flying fuck if his hand just fell right off at that moment.
Rachel’s hands were trapped between them, first resting against his chest but eventually gripping at the material of his t-shirt until she was making fists, tugging, as though she thought she could pull him closer than he already was. He did not want to pull away from her, but he was getting dizzy and realized he wasn’t breathing which would probably become detrimental if he hoped to kiss her anymore. When he pulled back and managed to pry his eyes opened he looked down at her face; her eyes were still closed and she was breathing hot breath against his face and he could smell cheese and pepperoni and shit, he was actually kind of hungry. She opened her eyes and looked at him then and he thought maybe his heart had just stopped beating.
When he felt the blood rushing through his veins again, he realized that most of it was pooling in his dick and-oh shit-he was pressed right against her thigh and felt the heat radiating between the two of them. His hips rocked against her thigh at their own accord and she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, looking shy as though she was not intimately familiar with his junk already. He was surprised he didn’t just blow his load right then because there was no way she was not doing this to torture him mercilessly.
“Noah we can’t…my whole family is right in there.” She said it in a tone that sounded almost annoyed and that caused a smile to grace his face. She tried to hit him in the chest but she couldn’t move her hand because his body was still laid against her own. “It’s not funny!” Now she was indignant and he was grinning like the fool he no longer cared that he was.
To be an ass, he rocked his hips against her again and she gasped up at him, which he then swallowed with a kiss. Though he did not want to, though he would rather cut off his own dick than back away from her then, he did. He brought his hand down to see that he was bleeding, but he barely felt it.
“Noah! What happened?” She looked so shocked one would think she had turned a corner and found him naked and waiting. Fuck, why did he always think of this shit when he couldn’t do anything about it? She held his hand and rubbed the sides of his fingers with her own and he knew she was not trying to tease him but shit. Rachel pulled his hand to her mouth and kissed it-no she fucking sucked some of the blood from his knuckles and he was really about to come in his pants. He reverted to a thirteen year old prepubescent teen who had just tried to masturbate for the first time in his life and was going to come before he even got his jeans undone.
While he struggled internally with his thirteen year old self, she lowered his hand and grinned at him. “I’ve got to go back inside. My Dads are going to worry you are doing something to me you aren’t supposed to be.” If he were not so wonderfully composed (don’t judge him!) he would have whimpered at her then. “Do you want me to call you? When I am done here?”
He nodded at her stupidly. She said something that sounded like ‘great’ and kissed him again, quickly, then turned around and left him staring after her like a brainless fuckface. Puck walked back to his truck in a haze and when he was safe inside its confined, dark interior, he jacked off there in the middle of the CiCi’s parking lot. It was probably the best orgasm he had had in at least a week.
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well if I was in your position I'd put down all my ammunition,
I'd wonder why it had taken me so long
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-fin-