Ficlet: Light in the Dark
Title: Light in the Dark
Author: hils
Pairing: Sam/Gabriel
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,018
Summary: Sam is back, Gabriel is back, but everything is different
Notes: Contains spoilers for SPN 6.07 (Family Matters). Thanks to hsapiens for the beta
Belated birthday present for littlehollyleaf
The silence was the worst part of being back. Before, whether he wanted it or not, Gabriel’s head had been full of the prayers of those in need, calling out to him. None had been louder than Sam Winchester.
Now there was nothing.
It was a heavy, oppressive nothing that weighed down on him, forcing him to acknowledge its presence. He told himself that he didn’t care, that he shouldn’t care. Involving himself with the Winchesters had brought him nothing but trouble; it was what had gotten him killed and that was not something he was keen to repeat.
Still, he was curious (not worried, Gabriel didn’t do worried) and even though he’d resumed smiting well-deserving assholes, all the righteous justice in the world could not distract him entirely from Sam’s silence. He wouldn’t call what he had with Sam a bond exactly but there was an undeniable connection. No matter what Gabriel was doing, no matter where he was, he could feel Sam’s existence at the back of his mind. The kid was under his skin, despite Gabriel’s best effort to avoid getting close and there was no denying that Sam was out there and there was something very, very wrong with him.
Which was why he decided to pop in, late at night when Sam would be asleep, just to check.
* * *
Sam wasn’t sleeping.
It was 3 a.m. and he was sitting in the corner of the room, his face lit by the blue glow from the screen of his laptop. His bed was neat and clearly hadn’t been slept in while Dean lay crashed out and sleeping deeply in the other.
Sam didn’t notice his arrival and Gabriel took the opportunity to study him. He looked well enough, more than well actually, but now that he was up close the sheer wrongness of Sam was almost painful to him. He was used to Sam’s soul shining bright even with the taint of demon blood. Now it was like looking at a blank canvas.
“Gabriel,” Sam said when he finally spotted him. “You’re not dead.”
“Alive and kicking,” Gabriel replied as he stepped out of the shadows. “You, though. You seem to be missing something.”
Sam shrugged. “Courtesy of Crowley.”
Of course.
He might be staying clear of Heaven and all its fucked up mess but that didn’t mean he was totally out of the loop when it came to who was ruling downstairs. If Crowley had Sam’s soul it was for a reason that almost certainly wasn’t whatever lie he’d fed the boys.
“I’m still me,” Sam quickly added, like he had to justify himself to Gabriel. “I just feel. . .I dunno. . .disconnected I guess. Like I know I should be glad that you’re back but I don’t feel it.”
That stung and Gabriel wasn’t going to pretend otherwise. He wanted nothing more than to find Crowley and smite the bastard, despite the history they shared. Instead, he closed the distance to Sam and brushed his lips over Sam’s mouth.
It had been too long since he’d run his fingers through Sam’s hair and for a brief moment Gabriel could ignore the silence as he reacquainted himself with Sam’s body. It was different, more lean and toned, but still familiar. Touching Sam was like coming home and even if Sam couldn’t feel much of anything, Gabriel was confident he had enough emotion for them both.
Sam surprised him by kissing back, his mouth hot and hungry as his large hands cupped the back of Gabriel’s head.
“My body’s got needs,” Sam murmured when he pulled back for air, “even if the rest of me doesn’t.”
Gabriel stepped back. “Way to kill the moment there, Sam.”
“I’m sorry,” Sam sighed and there was a weariness to it that made Gabriel think that even if he didn’t genuinely feel it he’d been apologizing a lot. No prizes for guessing to whom.
Almost on cue Dean let out a snuffle in his sleep and rolled over onto his stomach.
“Can I ask you something?” Gabriel asked as he leaned back against the table behind him.
Sam shrugged. “Sure.”
“Do you want your soul back?”
Sam frowned. “What kind of question is that?”
“One you’re not answering. Come on, Sam; it’s me here, not your brother. Just tell me.”
“I don’t know,” Sam replied. “I’m a better hunter now. Nothing scares me but I’ve done things I know are wrong and I just didn’t care. I let my own brother get turned into a vampire so we could get intel from the nest. I let Cas torture a kid for information we probably could have got another way. That’s not me, Gabriel.”
Gabriel sighed and placed a hand over Sam’s heart. “I know it’s not, kid. Just hang tight and don’t let yourself get killed, okay? Lack of fear might make you a better hunter but it’s also a survival instinct that stops you doing the stupid shit you seem to keep insisting on doing. I can’t believe I’m going to say this but listen to your brother and he’ll keep you straight until I get back.”
Sam’s hand shot out and caught hold of his arm. “Where are you going?”
It was patently unfair that even without a soul Sam could pull off the perfect kicked puppy look. Gabriel had always had a weakness for it and this time wasn’t any different.
“Let’s just say Crowley and I have something of a history.”
Sam let go of his arm. “You think he’d just hand over my soul to you?”
“I’m pretty good at sweetening a deal,” Gabriel grinned.
“I don’t know what to say. Thank you, I guess.”
Gabriel kissed him again, quickly, before it got too hard for him to leave. “You can thank me properly when I get back.”
When you’re whole again.
Gabriel worried about what Crowley would demand in return for Sam’s soul. Knowing that he’d gladly pay the cost, no matter how high, scared him.
He really was a sucker when it came to Sam Winchester.
The End
Author: hils
Pairing: Sam/Gabriel
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,018
Summary: Sam is back, Gabriel is back, but everything is different
Notes: Contains spoilers for SPN 6.07 (Family Matters). Thanks to hsapiens for the beta
Belated birthday present for littlehollyleaf
The silence was the worst part of being back. Before, whether he wanted it or not, Gabriel’s head had been full of the prayers of those in need, calling out to him. None had been louder than Sam Winchester.
Now there was nothing.
It was a heavy, oppressive nothing that weighed down on him, forcing him to acknowledge its presence. He told himself that he didn’t care, that he shouldn’t care. Involving himself with the Winchesters had brought him nothing but trouble; it was what had gotten him killed and that was not something he was keen to repeat.
Still, he was curious (not worried, Gabriel didn’t do worried) and even though he’d resumed smiting well-deserving assholes, all the righteous justice in the world could not distract him entirely from Sam’s silence. He wouldn’t call what he had with Sam a bond exactly but there was an undeniable connection. No matter what Gabriel was doing, no matter where he was, he could feel Sam’s existence at the back of his mind. The kid was under his skin, despite Gabriel’s best effort to avoid getting close and there was no denying that Sam was out there and there was something very, very wrong with him.
Which was why he decided to pop in, late at night when Sam would be asleep, just to check.
* * *
Sam wasn’t sleeping.
It was 3 a.m. and he was sitting in the corner of the room, his face lit by the blue glow from the screen of his laptop. His bed was neat and clearly hadn’t been slept in while Dean lay crashed out and sleeping deeply in the other.
Sam didn’t notice his arrival and Gabriel took the opportunity to study him. He looked well enough, more than well actually, but now that he was up close the sheer wrongness of Sam was almost painful to him. He was used to Sam’s soul shining bright even with the taint of demon blood. Now it was like looking at a blank canvas.
“Gabriel,” Sam said when he finally spotted him. “You’re not dead.”
“Alive and kicking,” Gabriel replied as he stepped out of the shadows. “You, though. You seem to be missing something.”
Sam shrugged. “Courtesy of Crowley.”
Of course.
He might be staying clear of Heaven and all its fucked up mess but that didn’t mean he was totally out of the loop when it came to who was ruling downstairs. If Crowley had Sam’s soul it was for a reason that almost certainly wasn’t whatever lie he’d fed the boys.
“I’m still me,” Sam quickly added, like he had to justify himself to Gabriel. “I just feel. . .I dunno. . .disconnected I guess. Like I know I should be glad that you’re back but I don’t feel it.”
That stung and Gabriel wasn’t going to pretend otherwise. He wanted nothing more than to find Crowley and smite the bastard, despite the history they shared. Instead, he closed the distance to Sam and brushed his lips over Sam’s mouth.
It had been too long since he’d run his fingers through Sam’s hair and for a brief moment Gabriel could ignore the silence as he reacquainted himself with Sam’s body. It was different, more lean and toned, but still familiar. Touching Sam was like coming home and even if Sam couldn’t feel much of anything, Gabriel was confident he had enough emotion for them both.
Sam surprised him by kissing back, his mouth hot and hungry as his large hands cupped the back of Gabriel’s head.
“My body’s got needs,” Sam murmured when he pulled back for air, “even if the rest of me doesn’t.”
Gabriel stepped back. “Way to kill the moment there, Sam.”
“I’m sorry,” Sam sighed and there was a weariness to it that made Gabriel think that even if he didn’t genuinely feel it he’d been apologizing a lot. No prizes for guessing to whom.
Almost on cue Dean let out a snuffle in his sleep and rolled over onto his stomach.
“Can I ask you something?” Gabriel asked as he leaned back against the table behind him.
Sam shrugged. “Sure.”
“Do you want your soul back?”
Sam frowned. “What kind of question is that?”
“One you’re not answering. Come on, Sam; it’s me here, not your brother. Just tell me.”
“I don’t know,” Sam replied. “I’m a better hunter now. Nothing scares me but I’ve done things I know are wrong and I just didn’t care. I let my own brother get turned into a vampire so we could get intel from the nest. I let Cas torture a kid for information we probably could have got another way. That’s not me, Gabriel.”
Gabriel sighed and placed a hand over Sam’s heart. “I know it’s not, kid. Just hang tight and don’t let yourself get killed, okay? Lack of fear might make you a better hunter but it’s also a survival instinct that stops you doing the stupid shit you seem to keep insisting on doing. I can’t believe I’m going to say this but listen to your brother and he’ll keep you straight until I get back.”
Sam’s hand shot out and caught hold of his arm. “Where are you going?”
It was patently unfair that even without a soul Sam could pull off the perfect kicked puppy look. Gabriel had always had a weakness for it and this time wasn’t any different.
“Let’s just say Crowley and I have something of a history.”
Sam let go of his arm. “You think he’d just hand over my soul to you?”
“I’m pretty good at sweetening a deal,” Gabriel grinned.
“I don’t know what to say. Thank you, I guess.”
Gabriel kissed him again, quickly, before it got too hard for him to leave. “You can thank me properly when I get back.”
When you’re whole again.
Gabriel worried about what Crowley would demand in return for Sam’s soul. Knowing that he’d gladly pay the cost, no matter how high, scared him.
He really was a sucker when it came to Sam Winchester.
The End