Fic: Paradise City (Is A Lot Like Home)
Title: Paradise City (Is A Lot Like Home)
Author: hils
Pairing: Sam/Gabriel, Dean/Castiel
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2466
Summary: Being dead is surprisingly not that different to being alive.
Notes: Thanks to isarae for the beta
After Gabriel died, there were times when Sam imagined them reunited as a way to help him get to sleep. There was a lot of kissing and stripping in his fantasies; bodies flush against each other and names screamed into the night. But as usual, reality was nothing like he'd imagined.
“You’re supposed to be dead.”
Instead of the kissing and tearing of clothes, Sam had just blurted out the first thing that had popped into his mind. And Gabriel was smirking at him now, his eyes sparkling with amusement.
“I’m supposed to be dead?” Gabriel snorted. “Do you even know where you are? Don’t answer that. Because if you did, you wouldn’t be saying stupid things.”
Sam frowned and suddenly realised that all the aches and pains that had plagued his body over recent years were gone. In fact he had never felt better. He glanced back at Gabriel - who was looking at him expectantly - and it didn’t take him long to do the math.
“I’m dead.”
“Bingo!”
Sam was surprised at how okay he was with the whole revelation. He’d had a long and healthy life: hunting until he’d been physically unable to continue and then acting as a mentor to younger hunters in the last few years. The last thing he remembered was being warm and comfortable in his bed, drifting off as Castiel read to him. He figured he had died in his sleep and he really couldn't complain about that.
“So you’ve come to take me to Heaven?”
Limbo looked surprisingly like his house.
“I thought you were supposed to be the smart one,” Gabriel grumbled. “Come on, Sam. Think about it for a minute. You got a lot of happy memories in this house?”
Of course he did. He’d bought the place after the post-apocalypse cleanup was finally over. The place had been a wreck. Slowly, between jobs, and with help from Dean, Cas and Bobby, he’d fixed it up and made it a home. Most of his favourite memories involved this house somehow.
The penny dropped.
“I’m in Heaven?”
“There you go! I thought for a second there I was going to have to draw diagrams. Yup, welcome to your own personal slice of paradise.”
Sam turned his attention from the house and fixed it on Gabriel.
“Why are you here? I thought when Lucifer stabbed you he completely destroyed you. Did God do this?”
And if he did, why wait until now? Sam had spent decades with a small patch of sadness in his heart that flared up every night when he prayed and thought of Gabriel. He’d never asked God to bring Gabriel back. He’d never presumed to ask for that sort of favour for one when so many people he’d cared about had died. But not a day had gone by when he hadn't thought of Gabriel and missed him a little.
Gabriel grinned. “Not exactly. Apparently you’ve got some happy memories of me which means I’m part of the package. I’m touched, Sam. I didn’t realised our little encounters meant so much to you.”
“Dude,” Sam protested. “You killed my brother like a hundred time. You screwed up our lives more times than I can count. You gave me herpes! Why would I want you in my Heaven?”
He knew he didn’t mean it, and Gabriel knew it too. But right now, Sam just wanted to wipe that smug grin off his face.
“Hey, I’m awesome,” Gabriel shot back. “You never had better than me and you know it.”
The sad thing was it was true. He’d always told everyone - himself included - that he didn’t have time to settle down but the truth was he hadn’t wanted to. After Jess, Madison, Gabriel and the whole demon blood/Lucifer’s vessel thing he couldn’t stand the thought of losing anyone else or getting them hurt. So he’d thrown himself into hunting and kept busy. It wasn’t like he was totally alone anyway. Dean, Cas and Bobby were never far away.
Thought it was weird that out of everyone he’d cared about who had died, Gabriel was the one here.
He reached out and poked the archangel’s arm.
“Yes, it’s real,” Gabriel sighed. “Or as real as a spiritual plane of existence can be anyway. Now can we stop brooding and do something fun? I’ve been waiting ages for you to wake up and I'm bored.”
Considering this was supposed to be paradise, Sam was surprised to find the familiar feelings of annoyance and frustration- which he associated with Gabriel- creeping in with every passing moment. He wasn’t one to question God, but he was starting to wonder if there had been some sort of clerical error and the wrong person had been brought back.
“Hey, is Dean. . .he’s happy, right?”
Dean had died three years ago, wrapped in Castiel’s arms and happy. It had been his time and they’d all known it, but Cas had never really recovered. He was quiet and sombre after Dean passed; only sticking around because Dean had used his dying breath to make Cas promise to look after Sam.
Castiel had never been able to refuse Dean anything.
So he helped Sam with the things he wasn’t able to do himself, and read to him when his eyesight started to fail. They never spoke about Dean after the funeral. It was too painful for both of them, moreso for Cas, Sam suspected because he’d had to watch Dean grow old while his vessel remained unchanged.
He didn’t doubt that Dean was here, somewhere. He’d helped save the world after all.
“Of course your first thought is your brother,” Gabriel sighed. “Did anyone ever tell you how unhealthy your relationship with him is?”
Sam shrugged. “He’s all I’ve ever had.”
“Fine, let’s get out of here and you can see him for yourself. FYI your taste in décor sucks.”
Before Sam could respond, Gabriel had grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out into the dazzling sunlight.
Apparently, Dean’s Heaven was right next door to his. The Impala was parked outside the house Dean had settled in with Castiel, and the car looked good, like it did in its prime while they were still hunting together.
Dean had looked after that car all his life, and Castiel had taken over when Dean had died. He'd washed it every week, kept the tyres inflated and the parts in working order. But the car had never quite looked the same, like its shine had died with Dean.
Sam smiled as he walked past the car. The plastic soldier was still jammed in there, just where it had always been. Another little taste of home.
Dean was standing in the middle of the living room when Sam walked inside, a soft smile on his face like he’d been waiting for this.
“Heya, Sammy. You look good.”
“Yeah, you too.”
Dean looked like he did in the old days before deals and Hell and the apocalypse. Back when the biggest thing they had to worry about was not being able to find their dad. The hardness and the weariness were gone from his face and the tension had melted from his shoulders. When Sam pulled him into a hug it was like the final piece of the puzzle slotted into place.
He was home.
“I missed you, dude,” he whispered as he held Dean close.
“Well, this is all very touching,” Gabriel sighed, “but can you two get done being disturbingly intimate so we can do something fun? I’ve been dead for fifty years and you don’t want to know how badly I want sex, booze and candy. Not necessarily in that order.”
Dean glanced over Sam’s shoulder and then his eyes flitted back to Sam again.
“Gabriel, Sam? Really?”
Sam shrugged. “It’s not like it was a conscious choice.”
He turned to face Gabriel. “Since this is my Heaven, should you be. . .I dunno. Less of a dick?”
“Sorry, but it doesn’t work that way, Sammy. You wanted me back and you got me. Warts and all.”
Sam was prevented from replying by the arrival of Castiel, who looked stoic as usually and completely unsurprised to see Sam and Gabriel standing in the living room.
“Hey little bro,” Gabriel grinned. “Good to see you again.”
Castiel nodded his head curtly. “Gabriel.”
His eyes softened when he turned to face Dean. “It’s peaceful out there today, Dean. I wish you’d come with me on my morning flights.”
“Sorry, Cas. I might be dead but I’m still a no fly zone.”
The corners of Castiel’s lips turned up. It was the closest he ever got to smiling, but even that small gesture had been missing after Dean died.
It was good to see him (sort of) smiling again and it was good to see Dean looking so relaxed and happy, with his arm wrapped around Castiel’s shoulders as the angel told him what he’d seen on his flight.
Everything was as it should be, and Sam couldn’t stop his own smile from breaking out across his face.
“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Gabriel asked.
“Yeah,” Sam agreed.
“Welcome to Heaven. Now, let’s go and get wasted.”
* * *
Despite Dean’s claims of being a no fly zone he seemed happy enough to let Castiel zap them all to The Roadhouse.
“Knew you were coming,” Ash said as soon as they landed. “Beers are cold and we got whatever food you want. Good to see you again, Sam.”
Sam smiled and took a beer from Ash’s hand.
“We come here quite a lot,” Dean said as they all sat down. “Ash has worked out a way for people to cross over into other people’s Heavens. I met Jimmy Page, dude. Jimmy Page! It was awesome.”
Castiel nodded his head in agreement. “Dean was also very excited to meet William Shatner.”
Sam snorted. “Dude, seriously?”
“Hey, the man's a legend!”
Gabriel was still looking around The Roadhouse, the beer in his hand replaced with a large glass of Baileys.
“You know, I usually prefer some place a little more upmarket than this but it’s not bad.”
“I still don’t get why you’re here,” Sam shot back. “We were only together that one time and I was pretty wasted.”
Dean let out a strangled sound and Castiel had to clap him on the back to stop him from choking. “Wait, what? You and Gabriel?”
“It was only once,” Sam protested weakly. “You’d just got together with Cas after months of dancing around each other and I was. . . I dunno, lonely I guess. Gabriel was just there.”
“Clearly I made an impression,” Gabriel smirked. “I’m touched, Sam, really.”
Sam knocked back his beer and got to his feet. “I need another drink. Something strong.”
* * *
“No hangovers in Heaven, Sammy,” Dean slurred with a lazy smile. “This place is awesome.”
He was leaning heavily on Castiel, who had an arm wrapped around Dean to keep him upright.
Sam was smiling too. The whisky behind the bar was the best - imported from a village somewhere in Scotland - and he was warm, happy and content after a couple of glasses.
“I missed you, you know,” he said, resting his chin on Gabriel’s shoulder and not even caring that it was possibly blasphemous to use an archangel as a headrest.
“I know,” Gabriel replied. “That’s why I’m here.”
“I wanted to kick your ass for getting yourself killed. Every time I saw anything weird in the papers I thought it might be you and that God had brought you back like Cas.”
“I’m special,” Castiel said, his cheeks flushed red from the alcohol.
“Yeah, you are,” Dean agreed and kissed him.
Sam watched them for a second and then lurched to his feet as he eyed Gabriel. “I’m going home. Are you coming?”
Gabriel sighed and laid a hand on Sam’s arm. A fraction of a second later they were back in Sam’s house.
Sam blinked. The warm buzz he’d felt earlier was gone now and Gabriel was looking kind of pissed off with him.
“You know, I thought Dean was the one with all the issues,” Gabriel said, pushing Sam onto the couch and sitting down across from him in the armchair. “Clearly I was wrong.”
Sam frowned. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Of course you don’t,” Gabriel sighed. “Because if you had any clue what you were doing? That would make this whole little intervention so much easier.”
Sam’s frown deepened. “I don’t. . .”
Gabriel raised a hand. “I’m going to make this easy and explain it for you in small words, okay?”
“Uh, okay.”
“You can’t handle the fact that Heaven chose Dean, you can’t handle the fact that your brother has an angel for a lover and you certainly can’t handle the fact that you’ve now got to share Dean with Castiel. I’m not here because our drunken fumble in a grotty motel room actually meant something to you. I’m here because I represent redemption for you. Because if an angel can love you, you must be worth something, right? I hate to break it to you, Sammy, but you don’t need me for forgiveness or whatever else it is you think you need. Do you really think you’d be here if God didn’t give a crap about you?”
Sam shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
Gabriel sighed. “Whatever. I appreciate your sense of self-loathing brought me back but I’m not about to stick around and watch it in action.”
He got to his feet and Sam quickly followed.
“Wait!”
Sam caught hold of Gabriel’s arm. “You’re probably right - about some of it at least. But that night in the motel room did mean something. It wasn’t about proving that Heaven wanted me. It was about you.”
“Really?” Gabriel didn’t exactly look convinced. “Why?”
Sam took a deep breath. “Because you’re like me. I know better than anyone what it’s like to run away from your family; to hide and pretend to be something you’re not. I get why you did it. And I also know that when it really mattered, you did the right thing. You stood up.”
Gabriel grinned. “And then I lay down.”
Sam smiled. “Yeah, you did. I never forgot the look on Dean’s face when he saw that DVD. It was weeks before he could watch Casa Erotica again.”
Gabriel had relaxed a little now, even though Sam still had hold of his arm.
“Stay?” Sam asked quietly. “Please?”
Gabriel smiled. “You know, I kind of feel like lying down again right now actually. You coming?”
Sam nodded. This was definitely Heaven, and he finally felt at peace.
The End
Author: hils
Pairing: Sam/Gabriel, Dean/Castiel
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2466
Summary: Being dead is surprisingly not that different to being alive.
Notes: Thanks to isarae for the beta
After Gabriel died, there were times when Sam imagined them reunited as a way to help him get to sleep. There was a lot of kissing and stripping in his fantasies; bodies flush against each other and names screamed into the night. But as usual, reality was nothing like he'd imagined.
“You’re supposed to be dead.”
Instead of the kissing and tearing of clothes, Sam had just blurted out the first thing that had popped into his mind. And Gabriel was smirking at him now, his eyes sparkling with amusement.
“I’m supposed to be dead?” Gabriel snorted. “Do you even know where you are? Don’t answer that. Because if you did, you wouldn’t be saying stupid things.”
Sam frowned and suddenly realised that all the aches and pains that had plagued his body over recent years were gone. In fact he had never felt better. He glanced back at Gabriel - who was looking at him expectantly - and it didn’t take him long to do the math.
“I’m dead.”
“Bingo!”
Sam was surprised at how okay he was with the whole revelation. He’d had a long and healthy life: hunting until he’d been physically unable to continue and then acting as a mentor to younger hunters in the last few years. The last thing he remembered was being warm and comfortable in his bed, drifting off as Castiel read to him. He figured he had died in his sleep and he really couldn't complain about that.
“So you’ve come to take me to Heaven?”
Limbo looked surprisingly like his house.
“I thought you were supposed to be the smart one,” Gabriel grumbled. “Come on, Sam. Think about it for a minute. You got a lot of happy memories in this house?”
Of course he did. He’d bought the place after the post-apocalypse cleanup was finally over. The place had been a wreck. Slowly, between jobs, and with help from Dean, Cas and Bobby, he’d fixed it up and made it a home. Most of his favourite memories involved this house somehow.
The penny dropped.
“I’m in Heaven?”
“There you go! I thought for a second there I was going to have to draw diagrams. Yup, welcome to your own personal slice of paradise.”
Sam turned his attention from the house and fixed it on Gabriel.
“Why are you here? I thought when Lucifer stabbed you he completely destroyed you. Did God do this?”
And if he did, why wait until now? Sam had spent decades with a small patch of sadness in his heart that flared up every night when he prayed and thought of Gabriel. He’d never asked God to bring Gabriel back. He’d never presumed to ask for that sort of favour for one when so many people he’d cared about had died. But not a day had gone by when he hadn't thought of Gabriel and missed him a little.
Gabriel grinned. “Not exactly. Apparently you’ve got some happy memories of me which means I’m part of the package. I’m touched, Sam. I didn’t realised our little encounters meant so much to you.”
“Dude,” Sam protested. “You killed my brother like a hundred time. You screwed up our lives more times than I can count. You gave me herpes! Why would I want you in my Heaven?”
He knew he didn’t mean it, and Gabriel knew it too. But right now, Sam just wanted to wipe that smug grin off his face.
“Hey, I’m awesome,” Gabriel shot back. “You never had better than me and you know it.”
The sad thing was it was true. He’d always told everyone - himself included - that he didn’t have time to settle down but the truth was he hadn’t wanted to. After Jess, Madison, Gabriel and the whole demon blood/Lucifer’s vessel thing he couldn’t stand the thought of losing anyone else or getting them hurt. So he’d thrown himself into hunting and kept busy. It wasn’t like he was totally alone anyway. Dean, Cas and Bobby were never far away.
Thought it was weird that out of everyone he’d cared about who had died, Gabriel was the one here.
He reached out and poked the archangel’s arm.
“Yes, it’s real,” Gabriel sighed. “Or as real as a spiritual plane of existence can be anyway. Now can we stop brooding and do something fun? I’ve been waiting ages for you to wake up and I'm bored.”
Considering this was supposed to be paradise, Sam was surprised to find the familiar feelings of annoyance and frustration- which he associated with Gabriel- creeping in with every passing moment. He wasn’t one to question God, but he was starting to wonder if there had been some sort of clerical error and the wrong person had been brought back.
“Hey, is Dean. . .he’s happy, right?”
Dean had died three years ago, wrapped in Castiel’s arms and happy. It had been his time and they’d all known it, but Cas had never really recovered. He was quiet and sombre after Dean passed; only sticking around because Dean had used his dying breath to make Cas promise to look after Sam.
Castiel had never been able to refuse Dean anything.
So he helped Sam with the things he wasn’t able to do himself, and read to him when his eyesight started to fail. They never spoke about Dean after the funeral. It was too painful for both of them, moreso for Cas, Sam suspected because he’d had to watch Dean grow old while his vessel remained unchanged.
He didn’t doubt that Dean was here, somewhere. He’d helped save the world after all.
“Of course your first thought is your brother,” Gabriel sighed. “Did anyone ever tell you how unhealthy your relationship with him is?”
Sam shrugged. “He’s all I’ve ever had.”
“Fine, let’s get out of here and you can see him for yourself. FYI your taste in décor sucks.”
Before Sam could respond, Gabriel had grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out into the dazzling sunlight.
Apparently, Dean’s Heaven was right next door to his. The Impala was parked outside the house Dean had settled in with Castiel, and the car looked good, like it did in its prime while they were still hunting together.
Dean had looked after that car all his life, and Castiel had taken over when Dean had died. He'd washed it every week, kept the tyres inflated and the parts in working order. But the car had never quite looked the same, like its shine had died with Dean.
Sam smiled as he walked past the car. The plastic soldier was still jammed in there, just where it had always been. Another little taste of home.
Dean was standing in the middle of the living room when Sam walked inside, a soft smile on his face like he’d been waiting for this.
“Heya, Sammy. You look good.”
“Yeah, you too.”
Dean looked like he did in the old days before deals and Hell and the apocalypse. Back when the biggest thing they had to worry about was not being able to find their dad. The hardness and the weariness were gone from his face and the tension had melted from his shoulders. When Sam pulled him into a hug it was like the final piece of the puzzle slotted into place.
He was home.
“I missed you, dude,” he whispered as he held Dean close.
“Well, this is all very touching,” Gabriel sighed, “but can you two get done being disturbingly intimate so we can do something fun? I’ve been dead for fifty years and you don’t want to know how badly I want sex, booze and candy. Not necessarily in that order.”
Dean glanced over Sam’s shoulder and then his eyes flitted back to Sam again.
“Gabriel, Sam? Really?”
Sam shrugged. “It’s not like it was a conscious choice.”
He turned to face Gabriel. “Since this is my Heaven, should you be. . .I dunno. Less of a dick?”
“Sorry, but it doesn’t work that way, Sammy. You wanted me back and you got me. Warts and all.”
Sam was prevented from replying by the arrival of Castiel, who looked stoic as usually and completely unsurprised to see Sam and Gabriel standing in the living room.
“Hey little bro,” Gabriel grinned. “Good to see you again.”
Castiel nodded his head curtly. “Gabriel.”
His eyes softened when he turned to face Dean. “It’s peaceful out there today, Dean. I wish you’d come with me on my morning flights.”
“Sorry, Cas. I might be dead but I’m still a no fly zone.”
The corners of Castiel’s lips turned up. It was the closest he ever got to smiling, but even that small gesture had been missing after Dean died.
It was good to see him (sort of) smiling again and it was good to see Dean looking so relaxed and happy, with his arm wrapped around Castiel’s shoulders as the angel told him what he’d seen on his flight.
Everything was as it should be, and Sam couldn’t stop his own smile from breaking out across his face.
“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Gabriel asked.
“Yeah,” Sam agreed.
“Welcome to Heaven. Now, let’s go and get wasted.”
* * *
Despite Dean’s claims of being a no fly zone he seemed happy enough to let Castiel zap them all to The Roadhouse.
“Knew you were coming,” Ash said as soon as they landed. “Beers are cold and we got whatever food you want. Good to see you again, Sam.”
Sam smiled and took a beer from Ash’s hand.
“We come here quite a lot,” Dean said as they all sat down. “Ash has worked out a way for people to cross over into other people’s Heavens. I met Jimmy Page, dude. Jimmy Page! It was awesome.”
Castiel nodded his head in agreement. “Dean was also very excited to meet William Shatner.”
Sam snorted. “Dude, seriously?”
“Hey, the man's a legend!”
Gabriel was still looking around The Roadhouse, the beer in his hand replaced with a large glass of Baileys.
“You know, I usually prefer some place a little more upmarket than this but it’s not bad.”
“I still don’t get why you’re here,” Sam shot back. “We were only together that one time and I was pretty wasted.”
Dean let out a strangled sound and Castiel had to clap him on the back to stop him from choking. “Wait, what? You and Gabriel?”
“It was only once,” Sam protested weakly. “You’d just got together with Cas after months of dancing around each other and I was. . . I dunno, lonely I guess. Gabriel was just there.”
“Clearly I made an impression,” Gabriel smirked. “I’m touched, Sam, really.”
Sam knocked back his beer and got to his feet. “I need another drink. Something strong.”
* * *
“No hangovers in Heaven, Sammy,” Dean slurred with a lazy smile. “This place is awesome.”
He was leaning heavily on Castiel, who had an arm wrapped around Dean to keep him upright.
Sam was smiling too. The whisky behind the bar was the best - imported from a village somewhere in Scotland - and he was warm, happy and content after a couple of glasses.
“I missed you, you know,” he said, resting his chin on Gabriel’s shoulder and not even caring that it was possibly blasphemous to use an archangel as a headrest.
“I know,” Gabriel replied. “That’s why I’m here.”
“I wanted to kick your ass for getting yourself killed. Every time I saw anything weird in the papers I thought it might be you and that God had brought you back like Cas.”
“I’m special,” Castiel said, his cheeks flushed red from the alcohol.
“Yeah, you are,” Dean agreed and kissed him.
Sam watched them for a second and then lurched to his feet as he eyed Gabriel. “I’m going home. Are you coming?”
Gabriel sighed and laid a hand on Sam’s arm. A fraction of a second later they were back in Sam’s house.
Sam blinked. The warm buzz he’d felt earlier was gone now and Gabriel was looking kind of pissed off with him.
“You know, I thought Dean was the one with all the issues,” Gabriel said, pushing Sam onto the couch and sitting down across from him in the armchair. “Clearly I was wrong.”
Sam frowned. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Of course you don’t,” Gabriel sighed. “Because if you had any clue what you were doing? That would make this whole little intervention so much easier.”
Sam’s frown deepened. “I don’t. . .”
Gabriel raised a hand. “I’m going to make this easy and explain it for you in small words, okay?”
“Uh, okay.”
“You can’t handle the fact that Heaven chose Dean, you can’t handle the fact that your brother has an angel for a lover and you certainly can’t handle the fact that you’ve now got to share Dean with Castiel. I’m not here because our drunken fumble in a grotty motel room actually meant something to you. I’m here because I represent redemption for you. Because if an angel can love you, you must be worth something, right? I hate to break it to you, Sammy, but you don’t need me for forgiveness or whatever else it is you think you need. Do you really think you’d be here if God didn’t give a crap about you?”
Sam shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
Gabriel sighed. “Whatever. I appreciate your sense of self-loathing brought me back but I’m not about to stick around and watch it in action.”
He got to his feet and Sam quickly followed.
“Wait!”
Sam caught hold of Gabriel’s arm. “You’re probably right - about some of it at least. But that night in the motel room did mean something. It wasn’t about proving that Heaven wanted me. It was about you.”
“Really?” Gabriel didn’t exactly look convinced. “Why?”
Sam took a deep breath. “Because you’re like me. I know better than anyone what it’s like to run away from your family; to hide and pretend to be something you’re not. I get why you did it. And I also know that when it really mattered, you did the right thing. You stood up.”
Gabriel grinned. “And then I lay down.”
Sam smiled. “Yeah, you did. I never forgot the look on Dean’s face when he saw that DVD. It was weeks before he could watch Casa Erotica again.”
Gabriel had relaxed a little now, even though Sam still had hold of his arm.
“Stay?” Sam asked quietly. “Please?”
Gabriel smiled. “You know, I kind of feel like lying down again right now actually. You coming?”
Sam nodded. This was definitely Heaven, and he finally felt at peace.
The End