Gift for: oblivious1768
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Title: Keeping Mum
Recipient's LJ name: oblivious1768
Rating: PG
Pairing(s): James/Lily, vague Remus/Sirius
Word Count: 1,136 words
Warnings: None
Prompt Chosen: Keeping Mum
Authors notes: I really enjoyed writing this, even though its a bit haphazard. Hope you like!
Keeping Mum
“We’re keeping her Lily, and that’s final!”
James was throwing a rather childish tantrum, at his own stupididity, in the kitchen of Sirius’ flat. He had bought a kitten for Lily for Christmas, and upon his return home, had been told by Peter that he thought that Lily couldn’t stand cats. He was now practicing his speech for when he saw Lily next.
“She told me she didn’t like them! That they’re gross and twitchy and furry bastard things,” Peter explained, “Direct quote.”
“Are you sure that’s not what you think about them Wormtail?” asked Sirius with a grin. Peter shuddered and flipped him off.
“Why don’t you just take it back?”
“Because,” James explained for what felt like the millionth time, “It’s Christmas, and the lady at the counter said that if I brought it back she’d curse me into the next millennium. You’re not allowed to buy animals at Christmas and then take them back. It’s mean.”
“Does that mean you can do it any other time of the year?” Peter asked. Sirius punched him.
“Are you actually going to say any of this to her face? Or are you just going to continue to yell at my kettle?” Remus asked rolling his eyes. James had been here for two hours now. He’d unsuccessfully tried to palm the kitten off to everyone. Sirius was too drunk most of the time to care for himself, let alone an animal, it might eat Peter, and Remus might eat it. James didn’t mind cats, but this one was girly. It was his own fault for getting it a pink collar.
“Peter, why did you have to tell me she doesn’t like them? Why?” James cried giving up on the kettle and dropping into a chair at the table. The sight was pitiful. Something three eighteen year old males were not used to handling.
Sirius stood up and clapped James on the back with a “You’ll be fine” thrown over his shoulder as he made a quick exit. Peter patted James’ head muttering “There there, theretheretheretherethere,” and followed Sirius out as fast as his stumpy legs could take him.
Remus made to stand up as well, but James grabbed his arm, “Don’t desert me Moony, I’m so alone,” he moaned pathetically.
“You’re not alone, you twit. You’ve got a cat. And I’m making you some tea in the hope it will clear your head.”
***
“Moooooonnny. My head is not cleeeeear!” James was lying on the floor under the table completely pissed and Lily would be home soon.
“Sirius! Have you been spiking my tea again?!” Remus bellowed up the stairs.
The accused bounded into the room, stopping short at the door. “Moony, what have you done to him?”
Remus swore under his breath, “I can’t sober him up. You fix him.”
Sirius had charmed the tea to get Remus pissed and shaggable when he was being grumpy old werewolf. He’d also conveniently charmed it to repel all sobering charms, because it was more fun that way. James would have to hack it out like a Muggle and sleep it off.
Sirius grabbed one of the feet sticking out from under the table and pulled out a bemused looking James with a kitten sitting on his chest batting his glasses. She ran off and hid in the Christmas tree Lily had put up. “Come on mate, off to bed for you.”
James frowned, or tried to, “My face isn’t working.”
“Yes it is,” sighed Remus, “Get up before Lily gets home. She’ll kill all of us if she sees you - and throw our bodies into a pond. It’s not even midday.”
“But Lily looooves me, doesn’t she?”
“Yes James, but you’re lying on the floor and there’s a cat around here somewhere.”
“You mean Mum?” The kitten meowed from the tree.
“What? No, I mean the kitten you bought.”
“I have called it Mum. I am allowed to call it whatever I want. It’s my kitteh.” The kitten meowed angrily again before attacking a string of tinsel.
A crack in the hall and a “Hello?” signified Lily’s return. Remus spun around to the door, shutting it quickly. “Sirius, get him out of here, I’ll stall her.”
James started to crawl back under the table, “Why is she going to keel meee? Moooony? Paaaaads?”
“Because, you twit,” muttered Sirius quickly, grabbing James’ leg again, “the last time you got pissed with us, you showed the entire party you bollocks.”
“But we always do that!”
“No we don’t. Not at Ministry Balls, not in front of the Minister for Magic, and especially not after you’ve proposed to the girl of your dreams. Don’t you remember how much she flogged you?!” Remus winced. It had been a bad night.
Footsteps started up the hall, “Remus? Is that you in there?”
“Frick,” he muttered, “Where the hell is Peter?”
“He ran away.”
“Gutless.”
“LILLLLYYYY!”
Sirius jumped on James in the attempt to shut him up, but that just made it worse. “LILLLLYYY THEY’RE GOING TO KILL ME!”
Remus poured himself some tea and drank it in one gulp. He grabbed Sirius and apparated them both away as the door opened. Lily stood there looking mightily confused. James cried out in happiness, “GEE WILLIKERS!”
“What?” she asked calmly. Calmly was bad.
“Gee willikers?”
“Have you been drinking James?”
“Remus spiked my tea.”
“Rubbish.”
“No!” James said angrily, staggering up. He remembered in his foggy mind why he was in such a state, and why there was a kitten clawing its way up his back. “We’re Keeping Mum, Lily. And that’s final!”
The kitten reached his shoulder and meowed at Lily before pawing at James’ glasses again.
Lily awwwed at the kitten, crossing the room to pick it up and coo some more. “James, I thought you hated cats!”
“Not really,” he muttered, once again confused at what was going on, “But Peter said you hated them. I got it for you for Christmas and I can’t take it back, and I have named it Mum, but that doesn’t matter any more.”
Lily laughed and patted James' cheek, "I love cats. I hate rats. I just haven't got one because I thought you didn't like them. And this kitty is so cute!"
James blinked.
"Go to bed love. I'll deal with you later, when you'll remember it. Mum and I will go play."
***
James woke up with a pounding headache and something scratching his face. He attempted to bat it away but hit something fluffy instead. His hand was assaulted by what felt like a pin cushion.
"Merlin! What the hell is it! Bastard thing!"
"Oh Mum, are you playing with the big nasty man? You go ahead and bite him, good kitty." Lily replied, pegging a bauble at James' head.
Title: Keeping Mum
Recipient's LJ name: oblivious1768
Rating: PG
Pairing(s): James/Lily, vague Remus/Sirius
Word Count: 1,136 words
Warnings: None
Prompt Chosen: Keeping Mum
Authors notes: I really enjoyed writing this, even though its a bit haphazard. Hope you like!
Keeping Mum
“We’re keeping her Lily, and that’s final!”
James was throwing a rather childish tantrum, at his own stupididity, in the kitchen of Sirius’ flat. He had bought a kitten for Lily for Christmas, and upon his return home, had been told by Peter that he thought that Lily couldn’t stand cats. He was now practicing his speech for when he saw Lily next.
“She told me she didn’t like them! That they’re gross and twitchy and furry bastard things,” Peter explained, “Direct quote.”
“Are you sure that’s not what you think about them Wormtail?” asked Sirius with a grin. Peter shuddered and flipped him off.
“Why don’t you just take it back?”
“Because,” James explained for what felt like the millionth time, “It’s Christmas, and the lady at the counter said that if I brought it back she’d curse me into the next millennium. You’re not allowed to buy animals at Christmas and then take them back. It’s mean.”
“Does that mean you can do it any other time of the year?” Peter asked. Sirius punched him.
“Are you actually going to say any of this to her face? Or are you just going to continue to yell at my kettle?” Remus asked rolling his eyes. James had been here for two hours now. He’d unsuccessfully tried to palm the kitten off to everyone. Sirius was too drunk most of the time to care for himself, let alone an animal, it might eat Peter, and Remus might eat it. James didn’t mind cats, but this one was girly. It was his own fault for getting it a pink collar.
“Peter, why did you have to tell me she doesn’t like them? Why?” James cried giving up on the kettle and dropping into a chair at the table. The sight was pitiful. Something three eighteen year old males were not used to handling.
Sirius stood up and clapped James on the back with a “You’ll be fine” thrown over his shoulder as he made a quick exit. Peter patted James’ head muttering “There there, theretheretheretherethere,” and followed Sirius out as fast as his stumpy legs could take him.
Remus made to stand up as well, but James grabbed his arm, “Don’t desert me Moony, I’m so alone,” he moaned pathetically.
“You’re not alone, you twit. You’ve got a cat. And I’m making you some tea in the hope it will clear your head.”
***
“Moooooonnny. My head is not cleeeeear!” James was lying on the floor under the table completely pissed and Lily would be home soon.
“Sirius! Have you been spiking my tea again?!” Remus bellowed up the stairs.
The accused bounded into the room, stopping short at the door. “Moony, what have you done to him?”
Remus swore under his breath, “I can’t sober him up. You fix him.”
Sirius had charmed the tea to get Remus pissed and shaggable when he was being grumpy old werewolf. He’d also conveniently charmed it to repel all sobering charms, because it was more fun that way. James would have to hack it out like a Muggle and sleep it off.
Sirius grabbed one of the feet sticking out from under the table and pulled out a bemused looking James with a kitten sitting on his chest batting his glasses. She ran off and hid in the Christmas tree Lily had put up. “Come on mate, off to bed for you.”
James frowned, or tried to, “My face isn’t working.”
“Yes it is,” sighed Remus, “Get up before Lily gets home. She’ll kill all of us if she sees you - and throw our bodies into a pond. It’s not even midday.”
“But Lily looooves me, doesn’t she?”
“Yes James, but you’re lying on the floor and there’s a cat around here somewhere.”
“You mean Mum?” The kitten meowed from the tree.
“What? No, I mean the kitten you bought.”
“I have called it Mum. I am allowed to call it whatever I want. It’s my kitteh.” The kitten meowed angrily again before attacking a string of tinsel.
A crack in the hall and a “Hello?” signified Lily’s return. Remus spun around to the door, shutting it quickly. “Sirius, get him out of here, I’ll stall her.”
James started to crawl back under the table, “Why is she going to keel meee? Moooony? Paaaaads?”
“Because, you twit,” muttered Sirius quickly, grabbing James’ leg again, “the last time you got pissed with us, you showed the entire party you bollocks.”
“But we always do that!”
“No we don’t. Not at Ministry Balls, not in front of the Minister for Magic, and especially not after you’ve proposed to the girl of your dreams. Don’t you remember how much she flogged you?!” Remus winced. It had been a bad night.
Footsteps started up the hall, “Remus? Is that you in there?”
“Frick,” he muttered, “Where the hell is Peter?”
“He ran away.”
“Gutless.”
“LILLLLYYYY!”
Sirius jumped on James in the attempt to shut him up, but that just made it worse. “LILLLLYYY THEY’RE GOING TO KILL ME!”
Remus poured himself some tea and drank it in one gulp. He grabbed Sirius and apparated them both away as the door opened. Lily stood there looking mightily confused. James cried out in happiness, “GEE WILLIKERS!”
“What?” she asked calmly. Calmly was bad.
“Gee willikers?”
“Have you been drinking James?”
“Remus spiked my tea.”
“Rubbish.”
“No!” James said angrily, staggering up. He remembered in his foggy mind why he was in such a state, and why there was a kitten clawing its way up his back. “We’re Keeping Mum, Lily. And that’s final!”
The kitten reached his shoulder and meowed at Lily before pawing at James’ glasses again.
Lily awwwed at the kitten, crossing the room to pick it up and coo some more. “James, I thought you hated cats!”
“Not really,” he muttered, once again confused at what was going on, “But Peter said you hated them. I got it for you for Christmas and I can’t take it back, and I have named it Mum, but that doesn’t matter any more.”
Lily laughed and patted James' cheek, "I love cats. I hate rats. I just haven't got one because I thought you didn't like them. And this kitty is so cute!"
James blinked.
"Go to bed love. I'll deal with you later, when you'll remember it. Mum and I will go play."
***
James woke up with a pounding headache and something scratching his face. He attempted to bat it away but hit something fluffy instead. His hand was assaulted by what felt like a pin cushion.
"Merlin! What the hell is it! Bastard thing!"
"Oh Mum, are you playing with the big nasty man? You go ahead and bite him, good kitty." Lily replied, pegging a bauble at James' head.