Fandom Radio - Friday, June 30, 2006
VERONICA: Hello Fandom! This is Veronica Mars bringing you news of all things sticky and spooky.
CALLY: And this is Veruca Cally, your special cohost for the night. We've definitely got a really crazy amount of stuff to cover tonight, so stick with us, okay?
You Learn Something New Every Day
VERONICA: Covering the more normal news, if anything in Fandom could be considered normal, Things to Do at the Beach had a free day. Fry and Jude built sandcastles, Archie and Molly went canoeing, and Pippi wanted to learn how to play volleyball.
CALLY: And Annie's Flight and Flying class all left on their fieldy trip to Coroo... Corey... Croissant. Mmmm, croissants. I wonder if it was the kinda that has, like, sandwiches in them?
VERONICA: *snickers* No, that would be the planet Anakin’s from. Finally, Applied Dadaism played capture the flag. After the game, Kawalsky talked to Artie. And Tempe had lunch in the cafeteria today.
The Dorms: Where It’s All About Soccer and Spooks
CALLY: Okay, so this morning, there was a There was a football game! And Nadia was there, cause it was her team and stuff. She painted Conner while watching, and talked to Cally about Jamie.
CALLY: Oh, that was me! I totally did that. I also told Conner to keep his dirty Anders-kissing chips. Buffy cheered for boys in shorts, like you do. She also talked with Conner about food, surprise. Oh, and then there was overtime! It had the trading of penalty kicks. But the literal kind. Not the filthy kind that Conner does.
CALLY: Nadia, my bed buddy, totally painted Pippi and Walter. Oh, and Walter talked about volleyball. Which was not the game being played on the television, in case you people at home were confused. I know I was. Oh, and then stupid-goalie-killers won the game, and we all weren't happy. Nadia offered to do the brownie ceremony with me, which should not be confused with a marriage ceremony. She also offered to make a soccer team with Conner, which I think is not enough for a whole team. Oh, and apparently Seras and Nadia think there is a conspiracy about the judging or something. I'm a big fan of conspiracies. I totally read a book about Jack Ruby once.
VERONICA: Okay, this is the part of the broadcast where I do a little PSA. If you’re being haunted, you need to know that confronting your ghost and not letting them cause whatever negative emotion they’re causing, will make them go away. Archie and I figured that out last night. So did Molly. And, according to my notes, Bel, Lyta, Tyler, Cordy and Joxer figured that out today. The rest of you need to work on that because if what I learned this evening is true, there is a creature buried under the main campfire and it’s feeding off our negative emotions to try and get strong enough to rise. That would be a bad thing.
VERONICA: And in news of people not being haunted, Peter Parker broke his cast yesterday, English Peter was worried about something, and Dawn and Sakurazaki recovered from the jello dragon attacks, which we’re getting to. Oh, yes, and Nadia and Cally shared brownies on the roof, which is the official Fandom High breakup ritual. I know it helped me a few months ago.
CALLY: Oh, yes. Totally helpful. Especially now that everything seems so much more... more. Seriously.
Town: Where Its All About the Sticky
VERONICA: Okay, well maybe not all. I’m guessing Miho wasn’t sticky this morning. Although in her line of work it’s entirely possible. But according to my notes, she had a phone conversation with Parker, who left this morning for the weekend, and told Becky and Jarod that she was taking a trip home. Also in non-sticky news, John opened Sparky Repairs, Lana helped Silent Bob buy a self help book for Jay and excuse me while I laugh at that thought. *sound of utter silence as if someone pushed a mute button for a few moments* Okay, sorry about that. Willow was back at Caritas trying to convince GOB to put in a dance floor. And, surprisingly, no one ended up in the clinic during Tommy or Natalie’s shifts tonight.
CALLY: And today, there was a huge go-kart rally, that totally never goed. In the stands, before the start that wasn't, Hermy-own said hi to Zack, and Willow who wants to shoot me was cute with Peter Pevensie. Aeryn Sun, my random hug buddy, told John about her trip to the big Croissant. Dawn offered to help Bel with the ghost stuff, and then John and Jaye were twelve. Oh gods, seriously? They don't look it. I'd say much older than twelve. At least fifteen. Cedric talked with Isabel about the Fourth of July and Jack, my lego-buddy. Isabel also explained the Fourth of July to Aeryn. Jamie and Marie talked about karts and keeping their clothes on. Well, I'm glad they made sure that public nudity wasn't their thing. Though I always say, don't knock it until the administration has busted you for it.
VERONICA: Also in the stands before the race that never was, Tempe and Cute Sam met. And, I have to say, after finally having a chance to meet Sam myself, the cute designation really works. Not that I don’t think Sam Carter is cute, but, well, it’s totally different. Aeryn and Rory talked about Coruscant and ghost research. Rory and Isabel also talked about ghost research and also the 4th of July. Greg and Isabel were cute and talked about how Greg sang Rob Thomas. Gah. It was probably that horrid song from prom, wasn’t it? Piper and Phoebe talked about ghosts and oh! Make sure Bel remembers to tell you guys what we talked about tonight, okay? And Hermione, Walter, Molly, Xander, Sakurazaki, Cordelia, Kaylee, Hamlet, Tim, Clark and Tyler were also there as Jude, Draco and Anakin set up to race.
CALLY: And then, the race didn't start. Because there was Jello dragons. Mmmmm, Jello. The first to land was beaten by Nadia, because she's awesome and avenged Argentina. Oh, and Cordy, who is awesome, also took one of them out. Yay Cordy! Draco played fetch with one, until he ran away, which is a totally acceptable thing to do. Let nobody ever tell you otherwise, Draco. Oh, and then that dragon went after Jude. Jude? Duuuude, sorry. Ani-Bananie had to deal with a lisping Jello dragon, and can I just say again: Mmmmm, Jello.
CALLY: Apparently, Dean Tick has a spoon of might inside him, and he used it to defeat a dragon. I suppose it'd be handy, always having a spoon with you. Cameron is not to blame, and he and Molly were a dragon-fighting duo of immense immensity. The Sam who is biologically a girl tried to trick a dragon into killing itself. It didn't work so good, so she had to do it the old fashioned way.
CALLY: Mayor Tex decided dragon killing was too easy, so she went home. I wonder if she knits or bakes cookies or something. Mmmmm, cookies. Er, oh, and the Troopers kept the dragons contained. They also may be afraid they weren't Wonka approved Jello dragons. Oh, and poor Joxer got himself in trouble with a dragon. But he's alright, cause he was saved by the Bel. Sam who is not a girl teamed up with Tyler to take out a dragon, too. Seriously, you guys, you all did great work, and I hoped you saved a bowl of Jello for me cause it sounds reaaaaaaaally good.
VERONICA: Meanwhile, the folks in the stands got in some unexpected audience participation. Jamie killed a dragon, Willow and English Peter teamed up to kill one. Tempe hurt a dragon’s feelings. I wonder what kind of feelings Jello dragons have. Do they have feelings of inadequacy because they’re too jiggly or not jiggly enough? The world may never know. Anyway, Walter killed one, Hamlet played catch, Rory told hers it owed her for dry cleaning and Xander ate his and please GOD tell me that is not dirty.
VERONICA: Greg and Isabel had an Oh-Em-Gee-Double U- Tee- Eff moment, Kaylee got covered in Jello, Bel was thinking about Jello wrestling and wow, why does that not surprise me at all? He did, however, defeat a dragon and keep Marie from getting covered in Jello. Aw. Piper and Phoebe worked together to defeat a dragon. Go sisterly teamwork! Dawn’s dragon was unimpressed until she killed it. The Troopers were concerned that the dragons didn’t have the Wonka seal of approval. Maybe because they weren’t made of chocolate? And seriously? If the chocolate ever attacks around here, I will just crawl under my bed and cry. GOB made Tino collect Jello to make Jello shots and I think I kind of love my boss right now because that’s brilliant. Tim ate Jello and Clark was there to protect people. From the Jello. And you know how when you say a word a bunch of times it kind of loses all meaning? That’s how I feel about the word Jello right now.
CALLY: And then, Kerpow! down came a really fancy dragon that was pudding, and oh gods pudding sounds really good too, but the sun went down and all the dragons froze and were all easily defeated by Dean Tick and the rest of our awesome classmates. Seriously, go everyone. So say we all. But now this all needs to go get something to eat.
VERONICA: Come on, if we hurry, we can make it to Luke's before it closes and I'll buy you a burger for helping me.
CALLY: Ooooh, burger.
VERONICA: Good night, Fandom!
[much love to sogothcally for co-writing!]
CALLY: And this is Veruca Cally, your special cohost for the night. We've definitely got a really crazy amount of stuff to cover tonight, so stick with us, okay?
You Learn Something New Every Day
VERONICA: Covering the more normal news, if anything in Fandom could be considered normal, Things to Do at the Beach had a free day. Fry and Jude built sandcastles, Archie and Molly went canoeing, and Pippi wanted to learn how to play volleyball.
CALLY: And Annie's Flight and Flying class all left on their fieldy trip to Coroo... Corey... Croissant. Mmmm, croissants. I wonder if it was the kinda that has, like, sandwiches in them?
VERONICA: *snickers* No, that would be the planet Anakin’s from. Finally, Applied Dadaism played capture the flag. After the game, Kawalsky talked to Artie. And Tempe had lunch in the cafeteria today.
The Dorms: Where It’s All About Soccer and Spooks
CALLY: Okay, so this morning, there was a There was a football game! And Nadia was there, cause it was her team and stuff. She painted Conner while watching, and talked to Cally about Jamie.
CALLY: Oh, that was me! I totally did that. I also told Conner to keep his dirty Anders-kissing chips. Buffy cheered for boys in shorts, like you do. She also talked with Conner about food, surprise. Oh, and then there was overtime! It had the trading of penalty kicks. But the literal kind. Not the filthy kind that Conner does.
CALLY: Nadia, my bed buddy, totally painted Pippi and Walter. Oh, and Walter talked about volleyball. Which was not the game being played on the television, in case you people at home were confused. I know I was. Oh, and then stupid-goalie-killers won the game, and we all weren't happy. Nadia offered to do the brownie ceremony with me, which should not be confused with a marriage ceremony. She also offered to make a soccer team with Conner, which I think is not enough for a whole team. Oh, and apparently Seras and Nadia think there is a conspiracy about the judging or something. I'm a big fan of conspiracies. I totally read a book about Jack Ruby once.
VERONICA: Okay, this is the part of the broadcast where I do a little PSA. If you’re being haunted, you need to know that confronting your ghost and not letting them cause whatever negative emotion they’re causing, will make them go away. Archie and I figured that out last night. So did Molly. And, according to my notes, Bel, Lyta, Tyler, Cordy and Joxer figured that out today. The rest of you need to work on that because if what I learned this evening is true, there is a creature buried under the main campfire and it’s feeding off our negative emotions to try and get strong enough to rise. That would be a bad thing.
VERONICA: And in news of people not being haunted, Peter Parker broke his cast yesterday, English Peter was worried about something, and Dawn and Sakurazaki recovered from the jello dragon attacks, which we’re getting to. Oh, yes, and Nadia and Cally shared brownies on the roof, which is the official Fandom High breakup ritual. I know it helped me a few months ago.
CALLY: Oh, yes. Totally helpful. Especially now that everything seems so much more... more. Seriously.
Town: Where Its All About the Sticky
VERONICA: Okay, well maybe not all. I’m guessing Miho wasn’t sticky this morning. Although in her line of work it’s entirely possible. But according to my notes, she had a phone conversation with Parker, who left this morning for the weekend, and told Becky and Jarod that she was taking a trip home. Also in non-sticky news, John opened Sparky Repairs, Lana helped Silent Bob buy a self help book for Jay and excuse me while I laugh at that thought. *sound of utter silence as if someone pushed a mute button for a few moments* Okay, sorry about that. Willow was back at Caritas trying to convince GOB to put in a dance floor. And, surprisingly, no one ended up in the clinic during Tommy or Natalie’s shifts tonight.
CALLY: And today, there was a huge go-kart rally, that totally never goed. In the stands, before the start that wasn't, Hermy-own said hi to Zack, and Willow who wants to shoot me was cute with Peter Pevensie. Aeryn Sun, my random hug buddy, told John about her trip to the big Croissant. Dawn offered to help Bel with the ghost stuff, and then John and Jaye were twelve. Oh gods, seriously? They don't look it. I'd say much older than twelve. At least fifteen. Cedric talked with Isabel about the Fourth of July and Jack, my lego-buddy. Isabel also explained the Fourth of July to Aeryn. Jamie and Marie talked about karts and keeping their clothes on. Well, I'm glad they made sure that public nudity wasn't their thing. Though I always say, don't knock it until the administration has busted you for it.
VERONICA: Also in the stands before the race that never was, Tempe and Cute Sam met. And, I have to say, after finally having a chance to meet Sam myself, the cute designation really works. Not that I don’t think Sam Carter is cute, but, well, it’s totally different. Aeryn and Rory talked about Coruscant and ghost research. Rory and Isabel also talked about ghost research and also the 4th of July. Greg and Isabel were cute and talked about how Greg sang Rob Thomas. Gah. It was probably that horrid song from prom, wasn’t it? Piper and Phoebe talked about ghosts and oh! Make sure Bel remembers to tell you guys what we talked about tonight, okay? And Hermione, Walter, Molly, Xander, Sakurazaki, Cordelia, Kaylee, Hamlet, Tim, Clark and Tyler were also there as Jude, Draco and Anakin set up to race.
CALLY: And then, the race didn't start. Because there was Jello dragons. Mmmmm, Jello. The first to land was beaten by Nadia, because she's awesome and avenged Argentina. Oh, and Cordy, who is awesome, also took one of them out. Yay Cordy! Draco played fetch with one, until he ran away, which is a totally acceptable thing to do. Let nobody ever tell you otherwise, Draco. Oh, and then that dragon went after Jude. Jude? Duuuude, sorry. Ani-Bananie had to deal with a lisping Jello dragon, and can I just say again: Mmmmm, Jello.
CALLY: Apparently, Dean Tick has a spoon of might inside him, and he used it to defeat a dragon. I suppose it'd be handy, always having a spoon with you. Cameron is not to blame, and he and Molly were a dragon-fighting duo of immense immensity. The Sam who is biologically a girl tried to trick a dragon into killing itself. It didn't work so good, so she had to do it the old fashioned way.
CALLY: Mayor Tex decided dragon killing was too easy, so she went home. I wonder if she knits or bakes cookies or something. Mmmmm, cookies. Er, oh, and the Troopers kept the dragons contained. They also may be afraid they weren't Wonka approved Jello dragons. Oh, and poor Joxer got himself in trouble with a dragon. But he's alright, cause he was saved by the Bel. Sam who is not a girl teamed up with Tyler to take out a dragon, too. Seriously, you guys, you all did great work, and I hoped you saved a bowl of Jello for me cause it sounds reaaaaaaaally good.
VERONICA: Meanwhile, the folks in the stands got in some unexpected audience participation. Jamie killed a dragon, Willow and English Peter teamed up to kill one. Tempe hurt a dragon’s feelings. I wonder what kind of feelings Jello dragons have. Do they have feelings of inadequacy because they’re too jiggly or not jiggly enough? The world may never know. Anyway, Walter killed one, Hamlet played catch, Rory told hers it owed her for dry cleaning and Xander ate his and please GOD tell me that is not dirty.
VERONICA: Greg and Isabel had an Oh-Em-Gee-Double U- Tee- Eff moment, Kaylee got covered in Jello, Bel was thinking about Jello wrestling and wow, why does that not surprise me at all? He did, however, defeat a dragon and keep Marie from getting covered in Jello. Aw. Piper and Phoebe worked together to defeat a dragon. Go sisterly teamwork! Dawn’s dragon was unimpressed until she killed it. The Troopers were concerned that the dragons didn’t have the Wonka seal of approval. Maybe because they weren’t made of chocolate? And seriously? If the chocolate ever attacks around here, I will just crawl under my bed and cry. GOB made Tino collect Jello to make Jello shots and I think I kind of love my boss right now because that’s brilliant. Tim ate Jello and Clark was there to protect people. From the Jello. And you know how when you say a word a bunch of times it kind of loses all meaning? That’s how I feel about the word Jello right now.
CALLY: And then, Kerpow! down came a really fancy dragon that was pudding, and oh gods pudding sounds really good too, but the sun went down and all the dragons froze and were all easily defeated by Dean Tick and the rest of our awesome classmates. Seriously, go everyone. So say we all. But now this all needs to go get something to eat.
VERONICA: Come on, if we hurry, we can make it to Luke's before it closes and I'll buy you a burger for helping me.
CALLY: Ooooh, burger.
VERONICA: Good night, Fandom!
[much love to sogothcally for co-writing!]