Fandom Radio, April 2
*scraping, scuffling, and sniffling noises*
KATCHOO: -- expect me to do the frikkin' news now, after -- after -- and where the hell is Lacey and oh god . . .
TAHIRI: Look, people have to know what's going on, all right? Besides, what was I going to do, leave you curled up in a ball on the roof of the art store all night?
KATCHOO: I would've been fine up there.
TAHIRI: When Jawas swim.
KATCHOO: Whatever the crap that means. Just shuddup and gimme the *feedback* booze already, okay?
TAHIRI: If I do will you pull it together? You're a mess and it's all kinds of wrong.
KATCHOO: JUST GIMME THE -- ow!
TAHIRI: While she's drinking, I just want you guys to know how disturbing this is.
KATCHOO: *slosh* You're telling me. My best friend's -- WAUGH -- a zombie, my cohost's a flake, and I'm trapped in the radio booth with Tiny Creepy Kid.
TAHIRI: Oh, shut up about the tiny thing already.
KATCHOO: Well, y'know, maybe if you wore sh --
TAHIRI: Don't even start.
School -- For the Unzombified
KATCHOO: Geez, somebody's *sniffle* touchy.
TAHIRI: *exasperated sigh* That's not in the notes. Just read, will you?
KATCHOO: *tiny whimper* All right, all right, geez. Journalism got off easy. All they had to do was get ready to write about the zombies for next week. Buffy got permission to interview them . . . okay then. Rikku got into it with Jameson over whether they should be kicking zombie *feedback* instead of researching. US History had a movie day that Buffy skipped anyway, and Thaumaturgy did something with hex signs. *sniffle* Designing 'em and showing 'em off. *sniffle*
TAHIRI: And you call me creepy. Literature got a lecture on how not to be zombie chow, and their assignment was to come up with plans on how to stay alive. I'm usually in favor of this idea, funny enough. Miss Bennet brought in books in case people's survival plan involved staying inside and reading. Which is fine, but it's not exactly doing anything about it either, is it? Cooking Club didn't actually cook because Ned was too busy freaking out, and newspaper staff's meeting got cancelled due to zombies.
KATCHOO: Claudia was watching zombie movies in the library. Frikkin' zombies. Everything's on hold due to zombies. Maybe permanently. Oh, god . . . you stupid rotten flesh-eater who got Francine, when I find you I'm gonna -- *gulping noises*
TAHIRI: And the sad thing is, I can't even tell you you're being pathetic.
KATCHOO: Marshall was searching for a new TA to . . . to . . . SHE'S IRREPLACEABLE, OKAY? Anakin got caught up on last night's radio and threw pencils at a target until Jaina came by to ask if there was a plan.
TAHIRI: Well, I bet there will be if there isn't already.
KATCHOO: Optimism. It's so cute on people not me. *sniffle*
TAHIRI: . . . it's kind of a shame I'm not in the mood to think that's funny.
Dorms: Still an Undead-Free Zone?
KATCHOO: Right, so --
*muffled banging noises, squirrel noises of alarm*
TAHIRI: Oh, great. Just stay there and keep reading.
*sound of a chair scraping, the door opening and closing, and more muffled thumping sounds*
KATCHOO: *several loud gulps in quick succession* Third floor common room. Chuck Bass. Tryin' t'prove he can make a peanut butter'n jelly sandwich. Big freakin' whoop. Romeo wanted t'know if the zombie news was true -- god, I wish -- an' then offered to teach Chuck how t'shoot a gun later and WHAT IN THE NAME OF CRAP WERE YOU THINKING? Joan wasn't sure 'bout the zombies being real either, an' god knows why she was nice to Bass, but he got . . . well. somebody rewarded him. With a grilled cheese sandwich. Joan. Arthur thought Chuck was a coward because he wouldn't defend the dorms if they were under attack. , and I gotta agree with him on that, much as it kinda kills me. Romeo got recruited t'Arthur's anti-zombie cause when all he did was ask if the zombies were for real. Hyper Bouncy Girl Dinah was all -- oh, you guess. And Arthur was almost nice to her. 's like the end of the world or some . . . oh, god it is. Ben, in the gym, beatin' the crap outta the heavy bag, and Jen beatin' the crap outta a dummy, and then some really depressing conversation. See, I don't have the monop -- thing on that! Then the gun range tonight, an' Romeo teaching Chuck to shoot AND THIS IS STILL A REALLY BAD IDEA.
Peyton skipped work, and Penelope was hiding out in her room and filling Claire in on how the zombies are eating people, and Angela came by to tell her what happened to Hurley. Johnny was pacing and Savannah was upset about the zombies getting Sean and he made her promise not to leave the room -- ARE YOU FRIKKIN' SERIOUS, WHAT. GUYS. GEEZ. K-Mart dropped in too. Eve was doing research in her room, and Tiny Creepy Kid, wherever the *feedback* she went, was in a bad mood before I got stuck with her. Edmund was out in the Preserve readin' a book -- 'kay, that's not so smart maybe.
Town: Where There -- OH GOD
KATCHOO: *more gulping* Thank god for booze. Simon was researching zombies in the clinic, and Millie was at Book Haven, zombie-free. Hell, I coulda gone there. The Flower Shop sign had some interesting undead accessories on it today. *feedback*it. Loki wasn't so lucky at the MHA pool though. Ronon didn't think it was the best zombie-attack prep, but they got to kick some zombie *feedback* when four of 'em crashed the pool party. And the pool. Biff wanted to know what was wrong with it. And then when -- *sniffle* I was at Strokes of Genius, Jack Sparrow the zombie left his frikkin' foot behind -- god -- when he couldn't get rum. Please. Like I'd share. And OH GOD, Francine is a *extended feedback* FRIKKIN' ZOMBIE AND CAME TO SEE ME ANYWAY AND THERE IS NOT ENOUGH BOOZE IN THE WORLD FOR THIS.
PEOPLE. STOP GETTING ATTACKED, GAWD. Telling the zombie it's a nice zombie didn't help Eric, and crying at a zombie didn't do Toby any good. Robin the frog got bitten while skateboarding, Liz put up a fight but not enough of one, Jameson asked the zombie if it was on drugs -- guess it was offended enough to bite him for that. Jess went for Chinese food and ended up being zombie food instead. Jack Burton got chomped while napping in the park, and Robin the bartender's now Fandom's new PSA for why you shouldn't text and walk. BECAUSE YOU MIGHT GET BITTEN BY A *FEEDBACK*IN' FRIKKIN' ZOMBIE, THAT'S WHY. Lacey was napping in the park and . . . LACEY, YOU MORON, WHAT'D YOU GO DO THAT FOR? Spider-Man managed to web a zombie upside down to a lamp post. Excellent. Amber got the bright idea to wander through town by herself and ended up Hurley-chow. Not the way I'd want to go.
. . . the hell, there was a frikkin' zombie convention in the Preserve. John and Tyler traded body part snacks -- I'm glad booze kills my appetite all of a sudden. Hurley and Max managed to have a useless conversation even by zombie standards, Jack and his detachable arm traded Tyler rum for brain matter and I think I might barf anyway. John's zombie hair is still special, and Max is a zombie bunny. And I don't even blink at that any more. But in semi-shocking news, Cable actually sold Algren weapons at Wellspring Arms. And Max the Zombie Bunny came in demanding cows. I swear this'd be funny if it wasn't so screwed up.
. . . okay, you know what, Algren getting gremlin-bitten might still kind of be funny.
*door slamming*
TAHIRI: *feedback*ing zombies. Are you done yet?
KATCHOO: Oh yeah.
TAHIRI: I meant with the news, not the bottle.
KATCHOO: Right. Get me another one?
TAHIRI: You know, just because I was nice enough to walk you over here doesn't mean I'm going to levitate you back to the dorms because you're too drunk to stand.
KATCHOO: You read 'em. You talk faster.
TAHIRI: Not fair. Fine. Ray had zombie-related work to deal with at the trooper station, and Sarah offered to help. Charlotte just called to tell him Dale's a bunny, though. Tyler the zombie wasn't doing a great job hunting deer in the Preserve, but he did get a good bite out of Temari after she taunted him, and Jean-Paul when he stopped and offered to help. At the Arms Hotel, Hoshi wasn't sure why Gunther was paranoid, but Tully told her he was watching for zombies. Also fighting one. And Sean the zombie dropped in for a visit. That's . . . cheerful.
The Boards was open for rehearsal time, and for hanging out by the cast. Ronan talked zombie-killing with a well armed Dinah, who rehearsed her scenes with Amber and asked Amber to walk home with them. She told Tony that Geoffrey wasn't taking the zombies seriously enough, and yeah, Geoffrey was pretty unimpressed when Dinah tried to warn him. This is probably why he ended up being zombie food. Luke's Diner was open, with Priestly waving a stick around -- I'm not gonna say it -- and Hurley got scared off by it, so maybe it does work. Poor roomie. Dinah and Tony came in looking for Amber, and Priestly helped them raid the kitchen for weapons.
I don't even know how to describe what was going on in the Preserve tonight but I'm relieved someone else got gremlin bitten. Professor Algren and Deadpool, specifically. There was a poodle skirt and flirting, and Professor Algren in a 80's girl outfit, whatever that means, and monologuing, and a zombie chorus line. And then Deadpool chased Algren into an empty house and they snapped out of it. Unfortunately for Alice, she got bitten while watching the dance number.
Buffy and a sword were out on patrol, and a zombie ended up ruining her outfit. Mina was out patrolling too, and Buffy wasn't so sure about her outfit. She-Ra rode up on her horse and wanted to negotiate with the zombies, which is so not happening.
KATCHOO: What. You tried to do that?
TAHIRI: Sort of. Sokka made a big deal about She-Ra's flying horse, and Buffy and Sokka had some . . . philosophical differences over boomerangs as weapons. Spider-Man talked to Buffy about zombies' problem with communication and pronunciation. Tino was manning Caritas since Robin wasn't around, and Jolee beat up on some zombies in the woods, and that's everything, and would you stop hugging the bottle?
KATCHOO: *sniffle* No.
TAHIRI: Fine. Hug the bottle all you want, but we're going. Before more zombies show up. Come on already.
KATCHOO: But -- OKAY, OKAY, FINE. *sniffles some more*
TAHIRI: You know, that's still --
*click*
KATCHOO: -- expect me to do the frikkin' news now, after -- after -- and where the hell is Lacey and oh god . . .
TAHIRI: Look, people have to know what's going on, all right? Besides, what was I going to do, leave you curled up in a ball on the roof of the art store all night?
KATCHOO: I would've been fine up there.
TAHIRI: When Jawas swim.
KATCHOO: Whatever the crap that means. Just shuddup and gimme the *feedback* booze already, okay?
TAHIRI: If I do will you pull it together? You're a mess and it's all kinds of wrong.
KATCHOO: JUST GIMME THE -- ow!
TAHIRI: While she's drinking, I just want you guys to know how disturbing this is.
KATCHOO: *slosh* You're telling me. My best friend's -- WAUGH -- a zombie, my cohost's a flake, and I'm trapped in the radio booth with Tiny Creepy Kid.
TAHIRI: Oh, shut up about the tiny thing already.
KATCHOO: Well, y'know, maybe if you wore sh --
TAHIRI: Don't even start.
School -- For the Unzombified
KATCHOO: Geez, somebody's *sniffle* touchy.
TAHIRI: *exasperated sigh* That's not in the notes. Just read, will you?
KATCHOO: *tiny whimper* All right, all right, geez. Journalism got off easy. All they had to do was get ready to write about the zombies for next week. Buffy got permission to interview them . . . okay then. Rikku got into it with Jameson over whether they should be kicking zombie *feedback* instead of researching. US History had a movie day that Buffy skipped anyway, and Thaumaturgy did something with hex signs. *sniffle* Designing 'em and showing 'em off. *sniffle*
TAHIRI: And you call me creepy. Literature got a lecture on how not to be zombie chow, and their assignment was to come up with plans on how to stay alive. I'm usually in favor of this idea, funny enough. Miss Bennet brought in books in case people's survival plan involved staying inside and reading. Which is fine, but it's not exactly doing anything about it either, is it? Cooking Club didn't actually cook because Ned was too busy freaking out, and newspaper staff's meeting got cancelled due to zombies.
KATCHOO: Claudia was watching zombie movies in the library. Frikkin' zombies. Everything's on hold due to zombies. Maybe permanently. Oh, god . . . you stupid rotten flesh-eater who got Francine, when I find you I'm gonna -- *gulping noises*
TAHIRI: And the sad thing is, I can't even tell you you're being pathetic.
KATCHOO: Marshall was searching for a new TA to . . . to . . . SHE'S IRREPLACEABLE, OKAY? Anakin got caught up on last night's radio and threw pencils at a target until Jaina came by to ask if there was a plan.
TAHIRI: Well, I bet there will be if there isn't already.
KATCHOO: Optimism. It's so cute on people not me. *sniffle*
TAHIRI: . . . it's kind of a shame I'm not in the mood to think that's funny.
Dorms: Still an Undead-Free Zone?
KATCHOO: Right, so --
*muffled banging noises, squirrel noises of alarm*
TAHIRI: Oh, great. Just stay there and keep reading.
*sound of a chair scraping, the door opening and closing, and more muffled thumping sounds*
KATCHOO: *several loud gulps in quick succession* Third floor common room. Chuck Bass. Tryin' t'prove he can make a peanut butter'n jelly sandwich. Big freakin' whoop. Romeo wanted t'know if the zombie news was true -- god, I wish -- an' then offered to teach Chuck how t'shoot a gun later and WHAT IN THE NAME OF CRAP WERE YOU THINKING? Joan wasn't sure 'bout the zombies being real either, an' god knows why she was nice to Bass, but he got . . . well. somebody rewarded him. With a grilled cheese sandwich. Joan. Arthur thought Chuck was a coward because he wouldn't defend the dorms if they were under attack. , and I gotta agree with him on that, much as it kinda kills me. Romeo got recruited t'Arthur's anti-zombie cause when all he did was ask if the zombies were for real. Hyper Bouncy Girl Dinah was all -- oh, you guess. And Arthur was almost nice to her. 's like the end of the world or some . . . oh, god it is. Ben, in the gym, beatin' the crap outta the heavy bag, and Jen beatin' the crap outta a dummy, and then some really depressing conversation. See, I don't have the monop -- thing on that! Then the gun range tonight, an' Romeo teaching Chuck to shoot AND THIS IS STILL A REALLY BAD IDEA.
Peyton skipped work, and Penelope was hiding out in her room and filling Claire in on how the zombies are eating people, and Angela came by to tell her what happened to Hurley. Johnny was pacing and Savannah was upset about the zombies getting Sean and he made her promise not to leave the room -- ARE YOU FRIKKIN' SERIOUS, WHAT. GUYS. GEEZ. K-Mart dropped in too. Eve was doing research in her room, and Tiny Creepy Kid, wherever the *feedback* she went, was in a bad mood before I got stuck with her. Edmund was out in the Preserve readin' a book -- 'kay, that's not so smart maybe.
Town: Where There -- OH GOD
KATCHOO: *more gulping* Thank god for booze. Simon was researching zombies in the clinic, and Millie was at Book Haven, zombie-free. Hell, I coulda gone there. The Flower Shop sign had some interesting undead accessories on it today. *feedback*it. Loki wasn't so lucky at the MHA pool though. Ronon didn't think it was the best zombie-attack prep, but they got to kick some zombie *feedback* when four of 'em crashed the pool party. And the pool. Biff wanted to know what was wrong with it. And then when -- *sniffle* I was at Strokes of Genius, Jack Sparrow the zombie left his frikkin' foot behind -- god -- when he couldn't get rum. Please. Like I'd share. And OH GOD, Francine is a *extended feedback* FRIKKIN' ZOMBIE AND CAME TO SEE ME ANYWAY AND THERE IS NOT ENOUGH BOOZE IN THE WORLD FOR THIS.
PEOPLE. STOP GETTING ATTACKED, GAWD. Telling the zombie it's a nice zombie didn't help Eric, and crying at a zombie didn't do Toby any good. Robin the frog got bitten while skateboarding, Liz put up a fight but not enough of one, Jameson asked the zombie if it was on drugs -- guess it was offended enough to bite him for that. Jess went for Chinese food and ended up being zombie food instead. Jack Burton got chomped while napping in the park, and Robin the bartender's now Fandom's new PSA for why you shouldn't text and walk. BECAUSE YOU MIGHT GET BITTEN BY A *FEEDBACK*IN' FRIKKIN' ZOMBIE, THAT'S WHY. Lacey was napping in the park and . . . LACEY, YOU MORON, WHAT'D YOU GO DO THAT FOR? Spider-Man managed to web a zombie upside down to a lamp post. Excellent. Amber got the bright idea to wander through town by herself and ended up Hurley-chow. Not the way I'd want to go.
. . . the hell, there was a frikkin' zombie convention in the Preserve. John and Tyler traded body part snacks -- I'm glad booze kills my appetite all of a sudden. Hurley and Max managed to have a useless conversation even by zombie standards, Jack and his detachable arm traded Tyler rum for brain matter and I think I might barf anyway. John's zombie hair is still special, and Max is a zombie bunny. And I don't even blink at that any more. But in semi-shocking news, Cable actually sold Algren weapons at Wellspring Arms. And Max the Zombie Bunny came in demanding cows. I swear this'd be funny if it wasn't so screwed up.
. . . okay, you know what, Algren getting gremlin-bitten might still kind of be funny.
*door slamming*
TAHIRI: *feedback*ing zombies. Are you done yet?
KATCHOO: Oh yeah.
TAHIRI: I meant with the news, not the bottle.
KATCHOO: Right. Get me another one?
TAHIRI: You know, just because I was nice enough to walk you over here doesn't mean I'm going to levitate you back to the dorms because you're too drunk to stand.
KATCHOO: You read 'em. You talk faster.
TAHIRI: Not fair. Fine. Ray had zombie-related work to deal with at the trooper station, and Sarah offered to help. Charlotte just called to tell him Dale's a bunny, though. Tyler the zombie wasn't doing a great job hunting deer in the Preserve, but he did get a good bite out of Temari after she taunted him, and Jean-Paul when he stopped and offered to help. At the Arms Hotel, Hoshi wasn't sure why Gunther was paranoid, but Tully told her he was watching for zombies. Also fighting one. And Sean the zombie dropped in for a visit. That's . . . cheerful.
The Boards was open for rehearsal time, and for hanging out by the cast. Ronan talked zombie-killing with a well armed Dinah, who rehearsed her scenes with Amber and asked Amber to walk home with them. She told Tony that Geoffrey wasn't taking the zombies seriously enough, and yeah, Geoffrey was pretty unimpressed when Dinah tried to warn him. This is probably why he ended up being zombie food. Luke's Diner was open, with Priestly waving a stick around -- I'm not gonna say it -- and Hurley got scared off by it, so maybe it does work. Poor roomie. Dinah and Tony came in looking for Amber, and Priestly helped them raid the kitchen for weapons.
I don't even know how to describe what was going on in the Preserve tonight but I'm relieved someone else got gremlin bitten. Professor Algren and Deadpool, specifically. There was a poodle skirt and flirting, and Professor Algren in a 80's girl outfit, whatever that means, and monologuing, and a zombie chorus line. And then Deadpool chased Algren into an empty house and they snapped out of it. Unfortunately for Alice, she got bitten while watching the dance number.
Buffy and a sword were out on patrol, and a zombie ended up ruining her outfit. Mina was out patrolling too, and Buffy wasn't so sure about her outfit. She-Ra rode up on her horse and wanted to negotiate with the zombies, which is so not happening.
KATCHOO: What. You tried to do that?
TAHIRI: Sort of. Sokka made a big deal about She-Ra's flying horse, and Buffy and Sokka had some . . . philosophical differences over boomerangs as weapons. Spider-Man talked to Buffy about zombies' problem with communication and pronunciation. Tino was manning Caritas since Robin wasn't around, and Jolee beat up on some zombies in the woods, and that's everything, and would you stop hugging the bottle?
KATCHOO: *sniffle* No.
TAHIRI: Fine. Hug the bottle all you want, but we're going. Before more zombies show up. Come on already.
KATCHOO: But -- OKAY, OKAY, FINE. *sniffles some more*
TAHIRI: You know, that's still --
*click*