Fandom Radio, Monday, March 27, 2006
Rita: Good evening, Fandom. This is Professor Ms. Rita Skeeter, broadcasting live and with my family! Unfortunately, we're having domestic problems, and you all know how I administer punishments. Go on, Wilbur, darling, say something.
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: ...*tweet*
Rita: Very good! Now, Umberto, do you have anything to contribute?
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *screechy monkey noises*
Rita: Good. Now. Onto the broadcast.
Classes, which were - *screech* shut up, Umberto, or Mummy will have to give you a time out - boring and blah blah
Rita: Now, in Shop today, they make devices to fling pumpkins. Wilbur, my sweet, remember how we used to sip pumpkin juice and watch the sun rise?
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *somewhat urgent tweeting*
Rita: Ah, I too remember it well. And Psych, Jung and Magical Theory all have a review period. I do hope Jenny is all right.
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *frantic screeching*
Rita: Oh, Umberto, you don't need to worry. I'm sure she's fine. And she's Ms. Calendar. Mind your elders. Creature Languages and Western Lit have quizzes, and Biology and Chemistry have their finals.
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *thoughtful tweeting*
Rita: Yes, love, we all know you're an accomplished potions-maker yourself. It's not exactly the same, though. Anthropology discusses something I can't pronounce -
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *informative screech*
Rita: Yes, darling, what you said. Sociology classes study prison and apparitions, respectively, US History talks about some silly war you all had -
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *inquisitive tweeting*
Rita: Yes, sweetheart. That's one of the men I live with. Josh, we're out of peanut butter. Speech learns about something that I don't care to try to say -
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *helpful screech*
Rita: You're so smart, Umberto. Mummy's bright boy, yes you are. And Celtic Studies learns about...something, and Tactics learns about intelligence.
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *scornful tweeting*
Rita: Yes, I thought it was a bit obvious, too. And apparently the Peeps in the vending machines are chirping.
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *demonstrative tweeting*
Rita: Yes, Wilbur, like that. Parker opens the library, and Angela is quiet, and CJ opens the teachers' lounge. In the cafeteria, Cally blows off Anders, and there's a whole lot of drama.
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *upset-sounding screeching*
Rita: Yes, it is very frightening. Don't worry, sweetie. Mummy will protect you. Veronica opens the assistants' lounge, Angel stops by to see Veronica - by the by, he and Logan are...my notes are unclear, but I think it says they're having sexual relations - and Logan and Veronica are just darling. Rather like you and I once were, Wilbur, back in our Hogwarts days.
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *nostalgic tweeting*
Rita: Ah, memories.
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *...suggestive tweeting*
Rita: Wilbur! Not in front of Umberto!
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *screeching that totally communicates 'Ew, my parents are being dirty/schmoopy'*
In the dorms, where all good boys and girls should be sleeping - *tweet* WILBUR! HAVE SOME PROPRIETY!
Rita: In the gym, Pip attacks a punching bag, Blair does yoga, and Ivanova practices with her staff.
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *inquisitive screeching*
Rita: Umberto, get your mind out of the gutter or Mummy will have to perform another scouring charm on your brain. Professor Dream, who is completely bloody insane - don't repeat Mummy's language, sweetheart - sends email. Xander awakens and chats with Isabel the alien girl -
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *curious screeching*
Rita: No, I have no idea what it means. Now shh, Mummy's working. Victor leaves a note outside Whorey's door. Is it true what Barbossa said, then? Are they lovers? Well, she doesn't seem to be too happy. Oh, dear. A case of teenage heartbreak?
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *thoughtful tweeting*
Rita: Yes, it's very sad, blah blah. Wilbur, you're such a softie. You mustn't let these children get to you. Anyway, Maia reads and cries, Aeryn stops by Cameron's room after she wakes up with Hellspawn.
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *responsive screeching*
Rita: No, not you, sweetie. Oh, it's Molly's birthday, and there is a party! There are gifts and socializing and suprise, and much, much cuteness, thanks to Zero and...that boy, and Blair, who kisses Molly.
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *suck-upish screeching*
Rita: Well of course you've not had your first kiss, Umberto. You'd tell Mummy, and you haven't. Anyway, Bridge has left us for a short while, Nadia is moping in her room, and Victor apologizes to Alphonse for being an ass. I agree with Barbossa - that's a good habit.
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *scolding tweeting*
Rita: I'm sorry. Not in front of Umberto. Victor advises Pippi on how to handle her strength, and Kawalsky and Elizabeth seem to be having issues with woe, as well.
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *sad screeching*
Rita: Yes, yes, it's tragic, blah blah. Anyway, Sharon is making strange noises, Cally and Anders talk about the future, and Victor finds religion or something. Oh, and Lana is around for anyone with a strange hometown.
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *bored tweeting*
Rita: We're nearly done, dear.
In the town of minimal excitement!
Rita: Professor Harrington goes for a run, and Pip frets about Lana at the bookshop.
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *inquisitive screeching*
Rita: No, I don't know why anyone would name their child 'Pip' either. Umberto is such a better name. At the pond, there is plotting and hugging. Anyway, Little Miss Backtalky -
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *wondering tweeting*
Rita: Yes, that's her real name, dear. Anyway, she goes to Daniel's apartment with coffee. And elsewhere, Ferdinand has a scone!
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *more bored tweeting*
Rita: Yes, I don't think it's exciting, either, but I have to report it. Ivanova and Orlin stop by All and Sundries, Jay is cheered by lasagna, and there is a serious talk at Galactica Point.
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *nagging tweeting*
Rita: Wilbur. Shh. We don't need to air our problems on the air, or in front of Umberto.
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *sad cries in a screechy form*
Rita: See, you've upset him. In Caritas, Jarod is cute about Parker, Giles talks books with Jarod, and Nadia drinks. Then, outside, she and Walter fight.
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *more bored and nagging tweeting*
Rita: Yeah? Well you don't hold me like you used to!
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *parent-hating screeching*
Rita: I think we need to take this off the air. Goodnight, Fandom!
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *twee - * *click*
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: ...*tweet*
Rita: Very good! Now, Umberto, do you have anything to contribute?
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *screechy monkey noises*
Rita: Good. Now. Onto the broadcast.
Classes, which were - *screech* shut up, Umberto, or Mummy will have to give you a time out - boring and blah blah
Rita: Now, in Shop today, they make devices to fling pumpkins. Wilbur, my sweet, remember how we used to sip pumpkin juice and watch the sun rise?
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *somewhat urgent tweeting*
Rita: Ah, I too remember it well. And Psych, Jung and Magical Theory all have a review period. I do hope Jenny is all right.
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *frantic screeching*
Rita: Oh, Umberto, you don't need to worry. I'm sure she's fine. And she's Ms. Calendar. Mind your elders. Creature Languages and Western Lit have quizzes, and Biology and Chemistry have their finals.
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *thoughtful tweeting*
Rita: Yes, love, we all know you're an accomplished potions-maker yourself. It's not exactly the same, though. Anthropology discusses something I can't pronounce -
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *informative screech*
Rita: Yes, darling, what you said. Sociology classes study prison and apparitions, respectively, US History talks about some silly war you all had -
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *inquisitive tweeting*
Rita: Yes, sweetheart. That's one of the men I live with. Josh, we're out of peanut butter. Speech learns about something that I don't care to try to say -
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *helpful screech*
Rita: You're so smart, Umberto. Mummy's bright boy, yes you are. And Celtic Studies learns about...something, and Tactics learns about intelligence.
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *scornful tweeting*
Rita: Yes, I thought it was a bit obvious, too. And apparently the Peeps in the vending machines are chirping.
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *demonstrative tweeting*
Rita: Yes, Wilbur, like that. Parker opens the library, and Angela is quiet, and CJ opens the teachers' lounge. In the cafeteria, Cally blows off Anders, and there's a whole lot of drama.
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *upset-sounding screeching*
Rita: Yes, it is very frightening. Don't worry, sweetie. Mummy will protect you. Veronica opens the assistants' lounge, Angel stops by to see Veronica - by the by, he and Logan are...my notes are unclear, but I think it says they're having sexual relations - and Logan and Veronica are just darling. Rather like you and I once were, Wilbur, back in our Hogwarts days.
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *nostalgic tweeting*
Rita: Ah, memories.
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *...suggestive tweeting*
Rita: Wilbur! Not in front of Umberto!
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *screeching that totally communicates 'Ew, my parents are being dirty/schmoopy'*
In the dorms, where all good boys and girls should be sleeping - *tweet* WILBUR! HAVE SOME PROPRIETY!
Rita: In the gym, Pip attacks a punching bag, Blair does yoga, and Ivanova practices with her staff.
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *inquisitive screeching*
Rita: Umberto, get your mind out of the gutter or Mummy will have to perform another scouring charm on your brain. Professor Dream, who is completely bloody insane - don't repeat Mummy's language, sweetheart - sends email. Xander awakens and chats with Isabel the alien girl -
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *curious screeching*
Rita: No, I have no idea what it means. Now shh, Mummy's working. Victor leaves a note outside Whorey's door. Is it true what Barbossa said, then? Are they lovers? Well, she doesn't seem to be too happy. Oh, dear. A case of teenage heartbreak?
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *thoughtful tweeting*
Rita: Yes, it's very sad, blah blah. Wilbur, you're such a softie. You mustn't let these children get to you. Anyway, Maia reads and cries, Aeryn stops by Cameron's room after she wakes up with Hellspawn.
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *responsive screeching*
Rita: No, not you, sweetie. Oh, it's Molly's birthday, and there is a party! There are gifts and socializing and suprise, and much, much cuteness, thanks to Zero and...that boy, and Blair, who kisses Molly.
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *suck-upish screeching*
Rita: Well of course you've not had your first kiss, Umberto. You'd tell Mummy, and you haven't. Anyway, Bridge has left us for a short while, Nadia is moping in her room, and Victor apologizes to Alphonse for being an ass. I agree with Barbossa - that's a good habit.
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *scolding tweeting*
Rita: I'm sorry. Not in front of Umberto. Victor advises Pippi on how to handle her strength, and Kawalsky and Elizabeth seem to be having issues with woe, as well.
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *sad screeching*
Rita: Yes, yes, it's tragic, blah blah. Anyway, Sharon is making strange noises, Cally and Anders talk about the future, and Victor finds religion or something. Oh, and Lana is around for anyone with a strange hometown.
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *bored tweeting*
Rita: We're nearly done, dear.
In the town of minimal excitement!
Rita: Professor Harrington goes for a run, and Pip frets about Lana at the bookshop.
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *inquisitive screeching*
Rita: No, I don't know why anyone would name their child 'Pip' either. Umberto is such a better name. At the pond, there is plotting and hugging. Anyway, Little Miss Backtalky -
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *wondering tweeting*
Rita: Yes, that's her real name, dear. Anyway, she goes to Daniel's apartment with coffee. And elsewhere, Ferdinand has a scone!
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *more bored tweeting*
Rita: Yes, I don't think it's exciting, either, but I have to report it. Ivanova and Orlin stop by All and Sundries, Jay is cheered by lasagna, and there is a serious talk at Galactica Point.
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *nagging tweeting*
Rita: Wilbur. Shh. We don't need to air our problems on the air, or in front of Umberto.
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *sad cries in a screechy form*
Rita: See, you've upset him. In Caritas, Jarod is cute about Parker, Giles talks books with Jarod, and Nadia drinks. Then, outside, she and Walter fight.
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *more bored and nagging tweeting*
Rita: Yeah? Well you don't hold me like you used to!
Howler Monkey!Umberto!Rita: *parent-hating screeching*
Rita: I think we need to take this off the air. Goodnight, Fandom!
Canary!Wilbur!Rita: *twee - * *click*