Fandom Radio, Friday, Jan. 18, 2008
Willow: Hi everybody! Willow Rosenberg here with - OOF!
*sounds of excited, pouncing squirrels*
Willow: Oh hi guys! Hi! I missed you too! Hi!
Xander: You know, if you and the squirrels want some alone-time...
Willow: Don't be silly. I'm seeing someone. Also? So is one of the squirrels apparently. So if Teyla - if that is your real name - is listening, I would like to say that if you hurt any of their wee squirrel hearts I will cut your head off and put it on a neatly-labeled spike. Um - actual spike, not the vampire Spike. Though that would be bad too.
Xander: Er... could we talk about something that doesn't involve you removing people's necessary bodily organs? No reason. Just makes me twitchy.
Willow: I could offer to cut off her fingers?
Xander: Have I mentioned I'm glad you're my best friend in the world for ever and ever?
Willow: I feel some things should be clear, is all. Oo! Like your name. Introduce yourself. Doing radio is kind of like doing AA only everyone drinks rum instead of coffee. So like a celebrity version of AA, really.
Xander: Hi, I'm Xander, and I'm a twinkaholic.
Willow: Oh! Those come in banana flavor now! I've been meaning to tell you.
Xander: I kind of like the traditional cream filling.
Willow: I know. But this way you could have all the benefit of eating fruit without any of those nasty vitamins or actual food particles getting in the way.
Xander: There's a reason she's my best friend in the world forever and ever, boys and girls. Speaking of, don't we have some actual news to report on those types?
Willow: We do! Allow me:
SCHOOL! Where we can neither confirm nor deny that the next detention involves the removal of body parts or Twinkies of dubious flavor.
Willow: The teachers had a meeting, which is great news for those of us who lie awake at night wondering if the teachers are secretly plotting ways to ruin our scholastic careers forever and ever. Because at least now we have confirmation, which is reassuring in its own way.
Barney and Biff compare class tactics, breakup tactics, and one assumes the cruel fate which forced Biff to be just a little behind Barney in the alphabet. Aly and inferior Peter's older brother made plans to - and I'm reading the notes as they're given to me - "get coffee after the meeting" while Bond, Juli and Mike "get coffee for themselves" and OH MY GOD STOP SPEAKING IN CODE AND TELL US WHAT DIABOLICAL PLANS YOU HAVE FOR US ALREADY!!!! Is it my grades? You would tell me if it was my grades, right? I can't get less than an A++ in anything! I'll DIE!!!!
Xander: Or someone else might. Just saying.
Willow: And teacher - I am not calling him Hottie McHotenstein! That's vastly inappropriate! Who taught you guys how to spell that to begin with? Anyway, he looks at inferior Peter's older brother. Possibly because he's trying to figure out if the inferiority runs in the family.
Ghanima and Aly talk about classes being too polite and students enjoying dancing assignments. You know what else students like? Extra credit. Tons of it. No matter how much work might possibly be involved. Ghanima owes Biff a couple of drinks, and they agree that nachos with bacon are a great way to make a non-Kosher meal without including shrimp. Or they say it's a good appetizer. One of those. Mike hits on Vala, but she's too busy teasing Biff about his dreams which, according to my notes, are about her, Aly, and really long tunnels. Whatever that means.
Aly and Vala decide to reward Zoe with a road trip in honor of her excellent new faculty choices. I'd like to put in a vote for Glitch, as long as we're talking about new faculty of the spiffy variety. Jean-Paul has a wary conversation with Tinkerbell, which the squirrels deem a wise way to converse with Tinkerbell. Barney and Tink are flirty with each other, to which the squirrels have added "We don't know how the dynamics for that would work either, but the squirrel interested in Teyla would like notes if the two of them figure it out."
Jean-Paul uses very naughty language. Pie is had by Steve, Glitch, Deadpool, Biff, Hades, Lulu,and Richie. Kerrigan would like to be elsewhere. Possibly somewhere with more of an emphasis on cake. Bob the librarian lurks and I hasten to add for Mel's sake that I'm pretty sure that note refers to a method of standing, not a species. Wilson does not lurk so much as he hangs about, which everyone knows is a totally different thing. Barney offers to add a little something to Harriet's tea. Cream, maybe? Aly whistles at Fraser, perhaps confusing him for Dief. Tink admires Zoe's shoes, Biff finds out you can only smack students in detention and/or if they're named Seely. Ghanima suggests he try verbal humiliation instead, and afterwards Zoe finds out that inferior Peter's older brother is kind of a whiny crybaby.
In much more cheerful news, Karal opened the library, which is where the books live. He asks Bob the librarian if he'd like to be the sponsor for Karal's language club. I did not know Karal had a language all his own, but yay for his efforts in making a club so that the rest of us could learn it if we were so inclined. Bridge brings Karal cupcakes for covering his shift. Did Anders make them? He makes cupcakes of the yummy variety.
Xander: I don't know. I have seen none of these alleged cupcakes. This makes me a non-cheerful Xander.
Willow: Karal finds one of Friday's teddies in the library and I am so, so hoping that's referring to a stuffed animal of some kind because it's bad enough that 8 year olds are wearing sweatpants with 'bootylicious' written on the back. We don't need infants in things Victoria couldn't keep secret. Evey visits the library for the first time, which everyone knows is a special and sacred moment not likely to be forgotten.
Art History has apparently decided to start at the begining with primitive art. Everyone talks about why we make art and, possibly, where the first prehistoric LOLcat came from. The phrase "I can has mammothburger?" may have been used. After class Namine beats out her classmates for the TA position, possibly with actual beating being involved. It's what I'd use if somebody got in my way academically.
Xander: See what I mean?
Willow: The Art of Cool talks about why teenage relationships are dumb, so clearly it's either opposite day or Barney's being his usual self again. Gavin and Luke are told to dump their significant others so that they can have sex. It doesn't specify if the sex is with each other but in case it affects anything the squirrels are giving that idea the thumbs-up. Though it's squirrels so it's more like tails.
Xander: See me not looking? This is me not looking.
Willow: The class tries to come up with reasons why relationships are bad and committment-free sex is good. A desire to win this year's Carrier of The Most STDs award would probably qualify. Folks then pair up and practice break-up techniques, which is why cries of "It's not you, it's me" "I need my space" and "Actually yes, you do look fat in those pants." could be heard throughout the halls. Ron is there, TAing as a TA does, but today he can only use chatspeak, which is possibly why Barney and Tink may have been heard to say "For the love of all that is holy will you SPELL CORRECTLY???"
My Country gets their countries and names them. Everyone claims countries from the map and if that's all it takes I am so calling dibs on England. While this is going on, Cimorene apologizes to Ronan for throwing water on him. Don't apologize! Some people throw stuff that's way worse than water when people try to claim their countries. Hopefully England restricts itself to throwing scones at me. People then plot with their neighboring countries which, now that I've said it on radio, totally ruins the surprise party that was being thrown for Gremlinistan. After class Ronan asks if magic in countries will be dealt with, and I'd like to vote a strong 'no killing the non-evil magic users' ticket, assuming Ronan's country is a democracy. If not, then I move for a benevolent dictatorship.
Student Council met today, led by the bestest boyfriend in all the land. If I can stress the importance of one bit of news to all you new students out there, it's that if any of you try to get with my man I will do things to you that make Teyla's punishment look like Happy Fun Day in Gremlinistan. He's mine! I have dibs. And that's Pevensie. Not Peter who is a Parker, or the inferior Peter. Peter Pevensie, accept no substitutes.
Xander: I kind of like the inferior Peter.
Willow: Please. He's such a copycat he couldn't even get an original name. Way inferior.
Anyway, Turtle asks if there can be a Valentine's dance that does not involve Pink. I'm sure there's tons of other singers we could listen to, Turtle. Jem was truly outrageous that one time they played here. Namine suggests a masquerade ball, to which Turtle points out that the fine folks of Turtle and Canary are happy to supply all masquerade ball needs, in spite of the fact that they couldn't sponsor a good flag football team if their lives depended on it.
The office is open, but in a zen-like fashion. Office hours are had by Mr. Dean and Sam's Daddy, Jean-Paul, and Anakin. During said office hours Anakin gets a phone call and finds out that apparently the new librarian has a really strict policy about overdue books, at least if River's testimony is anything to go by.
Dorms, where they have a really strict policy about stuff that nobody's doing in a common room tonight
Xander: AJ got tea and something they don't allow in the dorms so it obviously didn't happen from Annette and pie from Ino for being a sickie, but Ron's chatspeak disease only earned him an Oh Em Gee Dubbya Tee Eff Bee Bee Cue from Sokka. Dude, I want the pie sickness. So does the squirrel who gave me this note, judging from the bitter chittering.
Ino and Kabuto woke up together after ... ohhh. no wonder she was in the mood to be bringing people pie.
Which may explain why somebody didn't bring me any cupcakes today. Then again if he'd come to see me instead of just hanging around his room sharing them with Jen, Cassandra, Z and Ronan, there might've been a little incentive goin' on. Just saying.
In news of people who are not totally invited by for cupcake motivation after the broadcast, Karal took Evey out to the preserve to meet his cat, and my notes say there was blushing. I'm assuming not by the cat, since it'd be hard to see under the fur.
Back in the dorms, Jim caught Pam playing Tetris and watching Top Model. At the same time? How do you not drop all your blocks in the wrong places while you're yelling at the screen? Enquiring minds wanna know.
And Gavin got a visit from Inara to say that she wants to break Companion rules for him. I'm shocked. SHOCKED, I tell you. Why, when I was your age, there was no rulebreaking going on in this establishment! Ever!
...And a squirrel just handed me a note saying I can't read for crap
and it was actually Anemone
who brought AJ pie today, which might lead someone to wonder what
happy shenanigans might have put her in the mood for
pie-bringing, but that someone would not be me because I'll be too
busy having my eye checked.
Willow: Moving on to common rooms, this afternoon Lana is doing the perfectly wonderful pasttime of reading when she is cruelly interrupted by a talking frog and I have no idea how she managed to survive the moment without a nervous breakdown of some kind. Clearly she is a stronger woman than I.
Up in the much cooler, and thankfully talking frog-free fifth floor, we find Romeo getting things set up for a drinking game. Ronan shows up for the cooking but stays, possibly for the booze, possibly for the Romeo, maybe a little of column A and some of column B. River gives Ronan a hug, which means that now we've gone right past drinking game and straight on to orgy. Or they skipped the drinking game and had a party over how all their names started with R, which personally I'd find more fun.
Inara remembers her manners and thanks Romeo for inviting her. It doesn't say if the reason why she's grateful is because she brought a camera which will allow her to collect copious amounts of blackmail material, but if she was smart she'd keep that knowledge to herself for now anyway. Luke waves at Inara. She asks how he's doing and he replies "I AM TOTALLY NOT HAVING SEX WITH GAVIN IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE WONDERING ABOUT, NOR DID I THINK ABOUT IT EVEN IF MY GRADES WERE AT STAKE!" though I may be paraphrasing a little. Jenny totally ignores the beauty of the R meetup to go hang with Ronan, thus throwing all alliteration out the window and making us all very sad. Romeo is all Captain Peer Pressure at Jenny with the whole 'it's no big deal' and 'just a little relaxing' routine. This manages to convince Turtle as well, but Luke remains strong and asks for hot chocolate instead. To which I say go Luke! Be proud, even if some of the squirrels are handing me notes about how even with their wee stomachs they could totally drink you under the table.
The squirrel heartbreaker wannabe comes in and thankfully does not inspire any notes about her cheating and trying to blame the booze. Brooke finds the combination of alcohol plus cute boy plus common room to be very exciting. Personally I'd hold out for glitter to be included in the equation. Lucas wonders if Brooke is all excited about the game and while I admire his dedication this Sunday is just flag football practice. We'll need to whip you guys into shape before we try an actual game on for size. We may even use real whips.
Karal is all confused, maybe because nobody's talking to him in his language, maybe because Inara totally does not throw a pillow at him. So maybe he was expecting she would throw a pillow at him, or maybe she bypassed pillows entirely and threw a cat instead. Folks rarely see that coming.
Romeo tells Karal that the priest in town mentioned him and I'm going to leave all comments about priests and high school boys right where they are, thank you very much. Though Lana may be ahead of me since she asks about Karal's well-being. Maybe in Karalish.
More arrivals! Specifically Lucas, who I kinda spoilered for you with the earlier comments, and Lana which - ditto. And there's Evey, River, Adah, Meg, Amber, Mel, and Rikku. Then there's all kinds of waving from Romeo to Evey, Inara to River, Luke to Adah, Turtle to Amber - and I so want to add "of grain" to that particular wave but I'll hold off - and Meg to Amber. Adah and River snuggle, but in a subtle fashion. Not so subtle that the squirrels didn't notice, however.
Then Luke discovers that a cup of hot chocolate does not make a good hideout, and everybody plays "I Never" while, one assumes, not even bothering with the "I never had a big ol' drinking party in a common room while all but hanging a neon sign begging Principal Washburn to creatively punish me, possibly with Inara's thrown cat." since whoo - kinda blew that one out of the water tonight, huh? And anyone who wanted to throw in "I never spent a drunken night sleeping with a horse" just had to wait a little bit for Karal to take care of that.
Town, where there's a Banana Stand and really we'll just let that punchline write itself
Xander: Billy worked out at Selkie Cove today, and Biff came by to comment on his tragic lack of poles which I'm not touching with the ten foot one that I carry around for just exactly that purpose.
Meanwhile Caroline got a surprise from a sundial and an apology from Luke. George Michael opened the banana stand and pretty much just spent the day kicking back and thanking the god of comedy setup lines for leading him to his current profession.
Willow: How do you get surprised by a sundial? Are you just kinda walking along and it's all "Boo! Three o'clock! GOTCHA!"?
Xander: Aly and Nathan talked about Aly's skills, and wow, my not-touching pole's getting a lot of use tonight. Rikku opened Wellspring Arms and got a visit from Triela who wanted ammo and Reno who wanted... Hey Rikku, if you wanna borrow my no-touchy pole to whack him upside the head with? It's all yours.
In less whacky news, there was a doggie on the corner who totally scammed Willow and Robin who doesn't live underneath me for food. Hey pup, wrong Robin - try the other one. She has, like, five of you.
Willow: He did not scam me! His name is Gaspode and he's very sweet.
Xander: He has a fuzzywuzzy tail; he could be the First Evil in a weetiny bunny suit and you'd think he was sweet. Anyway, then Liir opened the bookstore that used to belong to the old Giles when it was hard to pronounce, and then Andrew who works for the new Giles came by for their -- hey, go Andrew -- date.
Willow: Be nice to him, Liir, or I won't show you graphs anymore!
Xander: Chad who works for Melody opened Groovy Tunes which was never hard to pronounce, and his boss came by to play chase the CD with the kittens, as you do.
River , Jolee and Yitzhak had slow business days at the Arms, Caritas and Luke's Diner. Like, rock-paper-scissors tournament slow. So did Dr. Troy and Katara in the clinic, but I bet they were happier about that.
Gabriel was probably a little less happy about getting a visit from Romeo while he was sleeping in the church. Not that I know this Romeo dude; I've just met Gabriel. Protip: bring doughnuts next time.
The squirrels didn't give me any notes on how happy Aly was to see Roy, but there is something here about ... does that say jumping his bishop? Oh look, there's my stick again.
Willow: Your stick seems to come up an awful lot.
Xander: Nobody's really ever complained about that before.
Willow: Guess it depends on how often you hit people with it.
Xander: Well, it's a no-touchy stick. The touchy list is pretty small, certain upside-the-head exceptions aside.
Willow: Good to know. And I believe that's all the news we have to report for tonight. Shall we bid everyone a good night?
Xander: Me and my stick bid everyone a good night. Especially people who have cupcakes and a key to my apartment. I AM JUST SAYING.
Willow: And I shall do the same. Only I don't have a stick and I'm not expecing cupcakes, but if a certain wonderful boyfriend wanted to snuggle when I got home, I most certainly would not say no. In the meanwhile, good night, Fandom!
*sounds of excited, pouncing squirrels*
Willow: Oh hi guys! Hi! I missed you too! Hi!
Xander: You know, if you and the squirrels want some alone-time...
Willow: Don't be silly. I'm seeing someone. Also? So is one of the squirrels apparently. So if Teyla - if that is your real name - is listening, I would like to say that if you hurt any of their wee squirrel hearts I will cut your head off and put it on a neatly-labeled spike. Um - actual spike, not the vampire Spike. Though that would be bad too.
Xander: Er... could we talk about something that doesn't involve you removing people's necessary bodily organs? No reason. Just makes me twitchy.
Willow: I could offer to cut off her fingers?
Xander: Have I mentioned I'm glad you're my best friend in the world for ever and ever?
Willow: I feel some things should be clear, is all. Oo! Like your name. Introduce yourself. Doing radio is kind of like doing AA only everyone drinks rum instead of coffee. So like a celebrity version of AA, really.
Xander: Hi, I'm Xander, and I'm a twinkaholic.
Willow: Oh! Those come in banana flavor now! I've been meaning to tell you.
Xander: I kind of like the traditional cream filling.
Willow: I know. But this way you could have all the benefit of eating fruit without any of those nasty vitamins or actual food particles getting in the way.
Xander: There's a reason she's my best friend in the world forever and ever, boys and girls. Speaking of, don't we have some actual news to report on those types?
Willow: We do! Allow me:
SCHOOL! Where we can neither confirm nor deny that the next detention involves the removal of body parts or Twinkies of dubious flavor.
Willow: The teachers had a meeting, which is great news for those of us who lie awake at night wondering if the teachers are secretly plotting ways to ruin our scholastic careers forever and ever. Because at least now we have confirmation, which is reassuring in its own way.
Barney and Biff compare class tactics, breakup tactics, and one assumes the cruel fate which forced Biff to be just a little behind Barney in the alphabet. Aly and inferior Peter's older brother made plans to - and I'm reading the notes as they're given to me - "get coffee after the meeting" while Bond, Juli and Mike "get coffee for themselves" and OH MY GOD STOP SPEAKING IN CODE AND TELL US WHAT DIABOLICAL PLANS YOU HAVE FOR US ALREADY!!!! Is it my grades? You would tell me if it was my grades, right? I can't get less than an A++ in anything! I'll DIE!!!!
Xander: Or someone else might. Just saying.
Willow: And teacher - I am not calling him Hottie McHotenstein! That's vastly inappropriate! Who taught you guys how to spell that to begin with? Anyway, he looks at inferior Peter's older brother. Possibly because he's trying to figure out if the inferiority runs in the family.
Ghanima and Aly talk about classes being too polite and students enjoying dancing assignments. You know what else students like? Extra credit. Tons of it. No matter how much work might possibly be involved. Ghanima owes Biff a couple of drinks, and they agree that nachos with bacon are a great way to make a non-Kosher meal without including shrimp. Or they say it's a good appetizer. One of those. Mike hits on Vala, but she's too busy teasing Biff about his dreams which, according to my notes, are about her, Aly, and really long tunnels. Whatever that means.
Aly and Vala decide to reward Zoe with a road trip in honor of her excellent new faculty choices. I'd like to put in a vote for Glitch, as long as we're talking about new faculty of the spiffy variety. Jean-Paul has a wary conversation with Tinkerbell, which the squirrels deem a wise way to converse with Tinkerbell. Barney and Tink are flirty with each other, to which the squirrels have added "We don't know how the dynamics for that would work either, but the squirrel interested in Teyla would like notes if the two of them figure it out."
Jean-Paul uses very naughty language. Pie is had by Steve, Glitch, Deadpool, Biff, Hades, Lulu,and Richie. Kerrigan would like to be elsewhere. Possibly somewhere with more of an emphasis on cake. Bob the librarian lurks and I hasten to add for Mel's sake that I'm pretty sure that note refers to a method of standing, not a species. Wilson does not lurk so much as he hangs about, which everyone knows is a totally different thing. Barney offers to add a little something to Harriet's tea. Cream, maybe? Aly whistles at Fraser, perhaps confusing him for Dief. Tink admires Zoe's shoes, Biff finds out you can only smack students in detention and/or if they're named Seely. Ghanima suggests he try verbal humiliation instead, and afterwards Zoe finds out that inferior Peter's older brother is kind of a whiny crybaby.
In much more cheerful news, Karal opened the library, which is where the books live. He asks Bob the librarian if he'd like to be the sponsor for Karal's language club. I did not know Karal had a language all his own, but yay for his efforts in making a club so that the rest of us could learn it if we were so inclined. Bridge brings Karal cupcakes for covering his shift. Did Anders make them? He makes cupcakes of the yummy variety.
Xander: I don't know. I have seen none of these alleged cupcakes. This makes me a non-cheerful Xander.
Willow: Karal finds one of Friday's teddies in the library and I am so, so hoping that's referring to a stuffed animal of some kind because it's bad enough that 8 year olds are wearing sweatpants with 'bootylicious' written on the back. We don't need infants in things Victoria couldn't keep secret. Evey visits the library for the first time, which everyone knows is a special and sacred moment not likely to be forgotten.
Art History has apparently decided to start at the begining with primitive art. Everyone talks about why we make art and, possibly, where the first prehistoric LOLcat came from. The phrase "I can has mammothburger?" may have been used. After class Namine beats out her classmates for the TA position, possibly with actual beating being involved. It's what I'd use if somebody got in my way academically.
Xander: See what I mean?
Willow: The Art of Cool talks about why teenage relationships are dumb, so clearly it's either opposite day or Barney's being his usual self again. Gavin and Luke are told to dump their significant others so that they can have sex. It doesn't specify if the sex is with each other but in case it affects anything the squirrels are giving that idea the thumbs-up. Though it's squirrels so it's more like tails.
Xander: See me not looking? This is me not looking.
Willow: The class tries to come up with reasons why relationships are bad and committment-free sex is good. A desire to win this year's Carrier of The Most STDs award would probably qualify. Folks then pair up and practice break-up techniques, which is why cries of "It's not you, it's me" "I need my space" and "Actually yes, you do look fat in those pants." could be heard throughout the halls. Ron is there, TAing as a TA does, but today he can only use chatspeak, which is possibly why Barney and Tink may have been heard to say "For the love of all that is holy will you SPELL CORRECTLY???"
My Country gets their countries and names them. Everyone claims countries from the map and if that's all it takes I am so calling dibs on England. While this is going on, Cimorene apologizes to Ronan for throwing water on him. Don't apologize! Some people throw stuff that's way worse than water when people try to claim their countries. Hopefully England restricts itself to throwing scones at me. People then plot with their neighboring countries which, now that I've said it on radio, totally ruins the surprise party that was being thrown for Gremlinistan. After class Ronan asks if magic in countries will be dealt with, and I'd like to vote a strong 'no killing the non-evil magic users' ticket, assuming Ronan's country is a democracy. If not, then I move for a benevolent dictatorship.
Student Council met today, led by the bestest boyfriend in all the land. If I can stress the importance of one bit of news to all you new students out there, it's that if any of you try to get with my man I will do things to you that make Teyla's punishment look like Happy Fun Day in Gremlinistan. He's mine! I have dibs. And that's Pevensie. Not Peter who is a Parker, or the inferior Peter. Peter Pevensie, accept no substitutes.
Xander: I kind of like the inferior Peter.
Willow: Please. He's such a copycat he couldn't even get an original name. Way inferior.
Anyway, Turtle asks if there can be a Valentine's dance that does not involve Pink. I'm sure there's tons of other singers we could listen to, Turtle. Jem was truly outrageous that one time they played here. Namine suggests a masquerade ball, to which Turtle points out that the fine folks of Turtle and Canary are happy to supply all masquerade ball needs, in spite of the fact that they couldn't sponsor a good flag football team if their lives depended on it.
The office is open, but in a zen-like fashion. Office hours are had by Mr. Dean and Sam's Daddy, Jean-Paul, and Anakin. During said office hours Anakin gets a phone call and finds out that apparently the new librarian has a really strict policy about overdue books, at least if River's testimony is anything to go by.
Dorms, where they have a really strict policy about stuff that nobody's doing in a common room tonight
Xander: AJ got tea and something they don't allow in the dorms so it obviously didn't happen from Annette and pie from Ino for being a sickie, but Ron's chatspeak disease only earned him an Oh Em Gee Dubbya Tee Eff Bee Bee Cue from Sokka. Dude, I want the pie sickness. So does the squirrel who gave me this note, judging from the bitter chittering.
Ino and Kabuto woke up together after ... ohhh. no wonder she was in the mood to be bringing people pie.
Which may explain why somebody didn't bring me any cupcakes today. Then again if he'd come to see me instead of just hanging around his room sharing them with Jen, Cassandra, Z and Ronan, there might've been a little incentive goin' on. Just saying.
In news of people who are not totally invited by for cupcake motivation after the broadcast, Karal took Evey out to the preserve to meet his cat, and my notes say there was blushing. I'm assuming not by the cat, since it'd be hard to see under the fur.
Back in the dorms, Jim caught Pam playing Tetris and watching Top Model. At the same time? How do you not drop all your blocks in the wrong places while you're yelling at the screen? Enquiring minds wanna know.
And Gavin got a visit from Inara to say that she wants to break Companion rules for him. I'm shocked. SHOCKED, I tell you. Why, when I was your age, there was no rulebreaking going on in this establishment! Ever!
...And a squirrel just handed me a note saying I can't read for crap
and it was actually Anemone
who brought AJ pie today, which might lead someone to wonder what
happy shenanigans might have put her in the mood for
pie-bringing, but that someone would not be me because I'll be too
busy having my eye checked.
Willow: Moving on to common rooms, this afternoon Lana is doing the perfectly wonderful pasttime of reading when she is cruelly interrupted by a talking frog and I have no idea how she managed to survive the moment without a nervous breakdown of some kind. Clearly she is a stronger woman than I.
Up in the much cooler, and thankfully talking frog-free fifth floor, we find Romeo getting things set up for a drinking game. Ronan shows up for the cooking but stays, possibly for the booze, possibly for the Romeo, maybe a little of column A and some of column B. River gives Ronan a hug, which means that now we've gone right past drinking game and straight on to orgy. Or they skipped the drinking game and had a party over how all their names started with R, which personally I'd find more fun.
Inara remembers her manners and thanks Romeo for inviting her. It doesn't say if the reason why she's grateful is because she brought a camera which will allow her to collect copious amounts of blackmail material, but if she was smart she'd keep that knowledge to herself for now anyway. Luke waves at Inara. She asks how he's doing and he replies "I AM TOTALLY NOT HAVING SEX WITH GAVIN IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE WONDERING ABOUT, NOR DID I THINK ABOUT IT EVEN IF MY GRADES WERE AT STAKE!" though I may be paraphrasing a little. Jenny totally ignores the beauty of the R meetup to go hang with Ronan, thus throwing all alliteration out the window and making us all very sad. Romeo is all Captain Peer Pressure at Jenny with the whole 'it's no big deal' and 'just a little relaxing' routine. This manages to convince Turtle as well, but Luke remains strong and asks for hot chocolate instead. To which I say go Luke! Be proud, even if some of the squirrels are handing me notes about how even with their wee stomachs they could totally drink you under the table.
The squirrel heartbreaker wannabe comes in and thankfully does not inspire any notes about her cheating and trying to blame the booze. Brooke finds the combination of alcohol plus cute boy plus common room to be very exciting. Personally I'd hold out for glitter to be included in the equation. Lucas wonders if Brooke is all excited about the game and while I admire his dedication this Sunday is just flag football practice. We'll need to whip you guys into shape before we try an actual game on for size. We may even use real whips.
Karal is all confused, maybe because nobody's talking to him in his language, maybe because Inara totally does not throw a pillow at him. So maybe he was expecting she would throw a pillow at him, or maybe she bypassed pillows entirely and threw a cat instead. Folks rarely see that coming.
Romeo tells Karal that the priest in town mentioned him and I'm going to leave all comments about priests and high school boys right where they are, thank you very much. Though Lana may be ahead of me since she asks about Karal's well-being. Maybe in Karalish.
More arrivals! Specifically Lucas, who I kinda spoilered for you with the earlier comments, and Lana which - ditto. And there's Evey, River, Adah, Meg, Amber, Mel, and Rikku. Then there's all kinds of waving from Romeo to Evey, Inara to River, Luke to Adah, Turtle to Amber - and I so want to add "of grain" to that particular wave but I'll hold off - and Meg to Amber. Adah and River snuggle, but in a subtle fashion. Not so subtle that the squirrels didn't notice, however.
Then Luke discovers that a cup of hot chocolate does not make a good hideout, and everybody plays "I Never" while, one assumes, not even bothering with the "I never had a big ol' drinking party in a common room while all but hanging a neon sign begging Principal Washburn to creatively punish me, possibly with Inara's thrown cat." since whoo - kinda blew that one out of the water tonight, huh? And anyone who wanted to throw in "I never spent a drunken night sleeping with a horse" just had to wait a little bit for Karal to take care of that.
Town, where there's a Banana Stand and really we'll just let that punchline write itself
Xander: Billy worked out at Selkie Cove today, and Biff came by to comment on his tragic lack of poles which I'm not touching with the ten foot one that I carry around for just exactly that purpose.
Meanwhile Caroline got a surprise from a sundial and an apology from Luke. George Michael opened the banana stand and pretty much just spent the day kicking back and thanking the god of comedy setup lines for leading him to his current profession.
Willow: How do you get surprised by a sundial? Are you just kinda walking along and it's all "Boo! Three o'clock! GOTCHA!"?
Xander: Aly and Nathan talked about Aly's skills, and wow, my not-touching pole's getting a lot of use tonight. Rikku opened Wellspring Arms and got a visit from Triela who wanted ammo and Reno who wanted... Hey Rikku, if you wanna borrow my no-touchy pole to whack him upside the head with? It's all yours.
In less whacky news, there was a doggie on the corner who totally scammed Willow and Robin who doesn't live underneath me for food. Hey pup, wrong Robin - try the other one. She has, like, five of you.
Willow: He did not scam me! His name is Gaspode and he's very sweet.
Xander: He has a fuzzywuzzy tail; he could be the First Evil in a weetiny bunny suit and you'd think he was sweet. Anyway, then Liir opened the bookstore that used to belong to the old Giles when it was hard to pronounce, and then Andrew who works for the new Giles came by for their -- hey, go Andrew -- date.
Willow: Be nice to him, Liir, or I won't show you graphs anymore!
Xander: Chad who works for Melody opened Groovy Tunes which was never hard to pronounce, and his boss came by to play chase the CD with the kittens, as you do.
River , Jolee and Yitzhak had slow business days at the Arms, Caritas and Luke's Diner. Like, rock-paper-scissors tournament slow. So did Dr. Troy and Katara in the clinic, but I bet they were happier about that.
Gabriel was probably a little less happy about getting a visit from Romeo while he was sleeping in the church. Not that I know this Romeo dude; I've just met Gabriel. Protip: bring doughnuts next time.
The squirrels didn't give me any notes on how happy Aly was to see Roy, but there is something here about ... does that say jumping his bishop? Oh look, there's my stick again.
Willow: Your stick seems to come up an awful lot.
Xander: Nobody's really ever complained about that before.
Willow: Guess it depends on how often you hit people with it.
Xander: Well, it's a no-touchy stick. The touchy list is pretty small, certain upside-the-head exceptions aside.
Willow: Good to know. And I believe that's all the news we have to report for tonight. Shall we bid everyone a good night?
Xander: Me and my stick bid everyone a good night. Especially people who have cupcakes and a key to my apartment. I AM JUST SAYING.
Willow: And I shall do the same. Only I don't have a stick and I'm not expecing cupcakes, but if a certain wonderful boyfriend wanted to snuggle when I got home, I most certainly would not say no. In the meanwhile, good night, Fandom!