Fandom Radio [Thursday, October 11th]
Jim: Hello, Fandom. It's Thursday again and you know what that means.
Pam: Yep, it means that normal people watched America's Next Top Model in the last twenty-four hours, but SOME PEOPLE can't find a freaking torrent.
Jim: I really don't know what's worse, the fact that you watch it or the fact that you take the time to download it.
Pam: Shut up, it makes me feel really smart. Last week, this one girl told everyone, on national TV, that she likes to hang off things. Like as a pastime. I feel like the president of MENSA when I watch.
Jim: What? I'm sorry, I was ignoring talk of a TV show that even I don't want to watch and I watch a lot of bad TV.
Pam: *sound of a pencil being thrown*
Jim: This is starting to feel like a couple weeks ago, so I'm just going to start reading our notes.
School, where people were doing things that are slightly more important than looking for torrents
Jim: Fandom Invasions spent the day being trolled. Some students tried to get first post...
Pam: Dork.
Jim: I don't know what you're talking about. There were trolls pretending to be female, Gnarg -- which has to be a sockpuppet -- harrassed everyone, and Steve-Peter brought the ban hammer. Professor Winchester was there to report all the spamming to their parents. Meanwhile, Ethics dealt with rumors, becoming a real life TMZ of the school.
Pam: So you being into TMZ is okay but me liking Top Model gets me mocked?
Jim: Yes.
Pam: Just for that, I'm not inviting you to watch makeover day with me whenever it downloads. I heard they shave a girl's head!
Jim: If it's really that entertaining, it'll end up on YouTube. Anyway, Master Skywalker spoke. Students listened and started rumors. And here's where the fun starts. Gavin has a tail and wears footie pajamas, presumably with a little hole for the tail, Master Skywalker is going bald and that hair may or may not be on Professor Kerrigan's legs
because he seems to be scared of them. And who wouldn't be scared by their runaway hair? And in an amazing show of flexibility, determination, and breaking the laws of genetics, Victor von Doom impregnated a raccoon that was on his head. Yikes. That must have been weird in so many ways. Also, Jack Harkness was naked with a bald guy who may have been running the class, Ino is kinky, Zuko has... I'm going to pretend this means that he's into small electronics, and Namine is a tracer. Qui-Gon and Master Cueball were both available after class.
Pam: In Communication today, our substitute teacher Hades -- yes, the VP -- taught us about obfuscation. Doesn't that sound kind of dirty? Everyone took notes on obfuscation, and Andrew obfuscated Chris, Jeff and Cassandra obfuscated each other by accident, Naminé successfully obfuscated with Inara, and Jack obfuscated at Hoshi so much that she agreed to go out with him. Goodness. And Cassandra gestured at Hades -- careful, there -- and Dib took notes on him.
Jim: Just wondering, what does 'obfuscation' mean, anyway? I'm not familiar with the word.
Pam: Do I have to tell you? I think it ruins the mystique of what the class was actually doing.
Jim: If it's as dirty as you're making it sound, I'm really curious. Just make sure to clean it up for our audience.
Pam: It's just using a lot of big words and stuff and confusing whoever you're talking to so they agree with you. I said it sounded dirty, not that it actually is. God, Jim, mind out of the gutter. Anyway, Pop Culture went online today. Maybe one of them knows where my torrent is. And they all listened to the lecture like good students, and then they all got access to email, and then they looked around the internet for torrents. Or whatever. Professor Tyler was available for questions, but I don't think she knows where my sad, poorly-madeover models are. History had presentations today, and there were reports. After class, Professor Noblet was available for questions.
Jim: Bridge opened the library but it was a quiet day. Just like every day should be in a library. Good job, Bridge! And in the cafeteria... Oh my god.
Pam: Uh oh.
Jim: There was a food fight.
Pam: ...was anyone hurt?
Jim: Only the third-world orphans who could have eaten that food. Andrew was reading when he was attacked by John "Thunderbolt" Sheppard and Jamie, John and Jamie turned on each other, Adah declared war on John, and Jamie attacked Adah. Jamie seemed to be in control of the fight since he had a stockpile of potato salad. In less messy news, teachers had office hours! Kerrigan's were quiet, as were Aly's. Lyman plotted during his, but was interrupted by Isabel, the second part of Jolly, Lana, and Deadpool. And Deadpool and Lyman hugged.
Pam: Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh.
Jim: Thank you, Pam. And Lulu had office hours without any hugging. Newspaper met where there was all sorts of busy newspaper activities going on. Like being told what to do. Very busy club, that newspaper. Second Banana Club also met and there were still no actual bananas and Ron is really missing an opportunity there.
Pam: But there would be debates, if he had two bananas, about which one would be the second one.
Jim: Put them in a bag and pick one at random. The remaining one is second.
Pam: But that's completely arbitrary and not at all fair to the bananas.
Jim: They've got a fifty-fifty shot. That's as fair as it's going to get.
Pam: But that also presumes that the bananas are completely equal in every aspect. What if one is clearly better than the other?
Jim: So now you're saying that we should discriminate against the bananas. That's what Second Banana Club is for, making sure that everyone gets some love and respect. Even the banana that isn't as good as the better banana should get a shot.
Pam: But it's subjective. Some people like those bananas and view them as the first one.
Jim: But the blind banana grab evens it out. If you don't know which banana you like better because you can't see them, subjectivity is eliminated.
Pam: But again, that's pretty sad for the bananas, not having any control over their future.
Jim: Well, they didn't in the first place. This isn't changing anything for them.
Pam: But still. It's just another opportunity stolen from them.
Jim: Wow. I take it back. You really need that torrent.
Pam: ...I really do. Look what's happened to me without my fix.
Jim: Just move on to dorms and I'll get you some decaf, okay?
Pam: *grumbles*
Dorms, where I bet there are people with Top Model spoilers
Pam: River got advice and critiques from A.J. this morning. Irulan got a haircut -- ooooooooh, roomie got a makeover. Much like the neurotic models who clearly just weren't on TV last night, and that's why the torrent isn't showing up. Neil did some writing, Peter Parker got his redecoration on and received compliments from Cassandra, Inara cuddled Gavin welcomingly, awwwwwww, and Billy woke up in a bad mood. Maybe he's an ANTM fan too. In the same vein, Hoshi was confused, Isabel got a Wyatt quiz from Johnny, and Molly welcomed Karal back by...laying on his back. What?
Jim: Maybe he was cold and didn't have any covers.
Pam: That is the weirdest thing I've ever heard.
Jim: Says the girl who was sticking up for the bananas.
Pam: That made more sense. Shut up.
Jim: Sure it did. And no. Valentine chased a Very Useful Book -- all caps there -- and had a visit from Namine who had some shirts. And Jamie Madrox is crashing on the roof tonight. With Twinkies. Now that's the life.
Pam: Unless it rains.
Jim: Then he'll have a waterbed.
Pam: I'm not sure Twinkies are good when wet, though.
Jim: They'll dry out eventually.
Pam: I don't think so. They're made of spongecake. It'll just soak it all up.
Jim: Sponges dry out eventually. And they should be in plastic anyway.
Pam: Maybe he's being all gourmet and serving them on plates.
Jim: ... People of Fandom, if you have a torrent of America's Next Top Model, for the love of God, send it to Pam as soon as possible. Her e-mail address is pam dot beesly (That's B-E-E-S-L-Y) at fandomhigh dot edu. Please, help me out here.
Pam: Shut u...no, actually, seriously if anyone out there has a torrent, follow those directions.
Town, where I bet I could form a support group for this kind of withdrawal
Pam: As far as people opening businesses, we had George Michael and the banana stand, which I bet is prejudiced and only uses first bananas. Isabel opened Pixie Dust and saved Dr. Wilson from ugly neckwear, helped Naminé pick out cute jammies and boyfriend gifts, and helped Mary pick out fall clothes. Turtle is already getting set for Christmas -- wow, Turtle, it's not even Halloween yet -- and Jeff told her that Apu looks like a "bloke's unmentionables" in his banana costume. Hopefully not healthy unmentionables. Also, I've mentioned them like three times now so I guess they're not unmentionable. And what's with all the banana stuff tonight? You guys are like, baiting me in my fragile state here. Mary opened the Arms, Gabriel was at the church, and Yitzhak was all thoughtful at the diner and Billy continued his bad mood there. I feel you, Billy. I mean, it's makeover day. Where the hell is the torrent? Makeover day! My squee is completely harshed by this trauma. Melody opened Groovy Tunes and is apparently back so yay for that, Rikku lacked her bounce at Wellspring Arms and was counseled by both Deadpool and Cable, the Jerries opened their store, and Leo meditated at the Photo Hut.
Jim: Here's your decaf.
Pam: Thank you. Why are you decaffeinating me? What if I went back to my room and found a torrent and it downloaded but I fell asleep? That would be sad.
Jim: Because you really don't need any caffeine at this point.
Pam: Um, okay, Mom.
Jim: Wow. Okay, Karal and Gavin arrived on the Causeway after tons of adventures and fighting and women. That part is pure speculation. Neil opened up the Devil's Nest, where Lucifer was reading a paper. Chris came in for a job and Dr Wilson came in for entertainment. Anders opened up Caritas and was rooting for the Red Sox. GO INDIANS! Professor Tyler came in for a drink and Billy talked to her after getting a drink of his own. Dr Troy opened the clinic in the morning and helped out Annette, while Dr Howser opened in the evening and was all by himself.
Pam: *hums 'All by Myself' slightly off-key*
Jim: ... Thank you, Pam. Roy brought Kerrigan chocolates...
Pam: Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh.
Jim: And Xander left phone messages and talked to Bridge.
Pam: I think that's it! Whooo!
Jim: Hopefully someone was able to cure your torrent woes.
Pam: I hope so. Seriously, just watch one episode and you'll understand.
Jim: Good night, Fandom! Also send her torrents for GOOD shows!
Pam: I WATCH GOOD SHOWS. Good night!
Pam: Yep, it means that normal people watched America's Next Top Model in the last twenty-four hours, but SOME PEOPLE can't find a freaking torrent.
Jim: I really don't know what's worse, the fact that you watch it or the fact that you take the time to download it.
Pam: Shut up, it makes me feel really smart. Last week, this one girl told everyone, on national TV, that she likes to hang off things. Like as a pastime. I feel like the president of MENSA when I watch.
Jim: What? I'm sorry, I was ignoring talk of a TV show that even I don't want to watch and I watch a lot of bad TV.
Pam: *sound of a pencil being thrown*
Jim: This is starting to feel like a couple weeks ago, so I'm just going to start reading our notes.
School, where people were doing things that are slightly more important than looking for torrents
Jim: Fandom Invasions spent the day being trolled. Some students tried to get first post...
Pam: Dork.
Jim: I don't know what you're talking about. There were trolls pretending to be female, Gnarg -- which has to be a sockpuppet -- harrassed everyone, and Steve-Peter brought the ban hammer. Professor Winchester was there to report all the spamming to their parents. Meanwhile, Ethics dealt with rumors, becoming a real life TMZ of the school.
Pam: So you being into TMZ is okay but me liking Top Model gets me mocked?
Jim: Yes.
Pam: Just for that, I'm not inviting you to watch makeover day with me whenever it downloads. I heard they shave a girl's head!
Jim: If it's really that entertaining, it'll end up on YouTube. Anyway, Master Skywalker spoke. Students listened and started rumors. And here's where the fun starts. Gavin has a tail and wears footie pajamas, presumably with a little hole for the tail, Master Skywalker is going bald and that hair may or may not be on Professor Kerrigan's legs
because he seems to be scared of them. And who wouldn't be scared by their runaway hair? And in an amazing show of flexibility, determination, and breaking the laws of genetics, Victor von Doom impregnated a raccoon that was on his head. Yikes. That must have been weird in so many ways. Also, Jack Harkness was naked with a bald guy who may have been running the class, Ino is kinky, Zuko has... I'm going to pretend this means that he's into small electronics, and Namine is a tracer. Qui-Gon and Master Cueball were both available after class.
Pam: In Communication today, our substitute teacher Hades -- yes, the VP -- taught us about obfuscation. Doesn't that sound kind of dirty? Everyone took notes on obfuscation, and Andrew obfuscated Chris, Jeff and Cassandra obfuscated each other by accident, Naminé successfully obfuscated with Inara, and Jack obfuscated at Hoshi so much that she agreed to go out with him. Goodness. And Cassandra gestured at Hades -- careful, there -- and Dib took notes on him.
Jim: Just wondering, what does 'obfuscation' mean, anyway? I'm not familiar with the word.
Pam: Do I have to tell you? I think it ruins the mystique of what the class was actually doing.
Jim: If it's as dirty as you're making it sound, I'm really curious. Just make sure to clean it up for our audience.
Pam: It's just using a lot of big words and stuff and confusing whoever you're talking to so they agree with you. I said it sounded dirty, not that it actually is. God, Jim, mind out of the gutter. Anyway, Pop Culture went online today. Maybe one of them knows where my torrent is. And they all listened to the lecture like good students, and then they all got access to email, and then they looked around the internet for torrents. Or whatever. Professor Tyler was available for questions, but I don't think she knows where my sad, poorly-madeover models are. History had presentations today, and there were reports. After class, Professor Noblet was available for questions.
Jim: Bridge opened the library but it was a quiet day. Just like every day should be in a library. Good job, Bridge! And in the cafeteria... Oh my god.
Pam: Uh oh.
Jim: There was a food fight.
Pam: ...was anyone hurt?
Jim: Only the third-world orphans who could have eaten that food. Andrew was reading when he was attacked by John "Thunderbolt" Sheppard and Jamie, John and Jamie turned on each other, Adah declared war on John, and Jamie attacked Adah. Jamie seemed to be in control of the fight since he had a stockpile of potato salad. In less messy news, teachers had office hours! Kerrigan's were quiet, as were Aly's. Lyman plotted during his, but was interrupted by Isabel, the second part of Jolly, Lana, and Deadpool. And Deadpool and Lyman hugged.
Pam: Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh.
Jim: Thank you, Pam. And Lulu had office hours without any hugging. Newspaper met where there was all sorts of busy newspaper activities going on. Like being told what to do. Very busy club, that newspaper. Second Banana Club also met and there were still no actual bananas and Ron is really missing an opportunity there.
Pam: But there would be debates, if he had two bananas, about which one would be the second one.
Jim: Put them in a bag and pick one at random. The remaining one is second.
Pam: But that's completely arbitrary and not at all fair to the bananas.
Jim: They've got a fifty-fifty shot. That's as fair as it's going to get.
Pam: But that also presumes that the bananas are completely equal in every aspect. What if one is clearly better than the other?
Jim: So now you're saying that we should discriminate against the bananas. That's what Second Banana Club is for, making sure that everyone gets some love and respect. Even the banana that isn't as good as the better banana should get a shot.
Pam: But it's subjective. Some people like those bananas and view them as the first one.
Jim: But the blind banana grab evens it out. If you don't know which banana you like better because you can't see them, subjectivity is eliminated.
Pam: But again, that's pretty sad for the bananas, not having any control over their future.
Jim: Well, they didn't in the first place. This isn't changing anything for them.
Pam: But still. It's just another opportunity stolen from them.
Jim: Wow. I take it back. You really need that torrent.
Pam: ...I really do. Look what's happened to me without my fix.
Jim: Just move on to dorms and I'll get you some decaf, okay?
Pam: *grumbles*
Dorms, where I bet there are people with Top Model spoilers
Pam: River got advice and critiques from A.J. this morning. Irulan got a haircut -- ooooooooh, roomie got a makeover. Much like the neurotic models who clearly just weren't on TV last night, and that's why the torrent isn't showing up. Neil did some writing, Peter Parker got his redecoration on and received compliments from Cassandra, Inara cuddled Gavin welcomingly, awwwwwww, and Billy woke up in a bad mood. Maybe he's an ANTM fan too. In the same vein, Hoshi was confused, Isabel got a Wyatt quiz from Johnny, and Molly welcomed Karal back by...laying on his back. What?
Jim: Maybe he was cold and didn't have any covers.
Pam: That is the weirdest thing I've ever heard.
Jim: Says the girl who was sticking up for the bananas.
Pam: That made more sense. Shut up.
Jim: Sure it did. And no. Valentine chased a Very Useful Book -- all caps there -- and had a visit from Namine who had some shirts. And Jamie Madrox is crashing on the roof tonight. With Twinkies. Now that's the life.
Pam: Unless it rains.
Jim: Then he'll have a waterbed.
Pam: I'm not sure Twinkies are good when wet, though.
Jim: They'll dry out eventually.
Pam: I don't think so. They're made of spongecake. It'll just soak it all up.
Jim: Sponges dry out eventually. And they should be in plastic anyway.
Pam: Maybe he's being all gourmet and serving them on plates.
Jim: ... People of Fandom, if you have a torrent of America's Next Top Model, for the love of God, send it to Pam as soon as possible. Her e-mail address is pam dot beesly (That's B-E-E-S-L-Y) at fandomhigh dot edu. Please, help me out here.
Pam: Shut u...no, actually, seriously if anyone out there has a torrent, follow those directions.
Town, where I bet I could form a support group for this kind of withdrawal
Pam: As far as people opening businesses, we had George Michael and the banana stand, which I bet is prejudiced and only uses first bananas. Isabel opened Pixie Dust and saved Dr. Wilson from ugly neckwear, helped Naminé pick out cute jammies and boyfriend gifts, and helped Mary pick out fall clothes. Turtle is already getting set for Christmas -- wow, Turtle, it's not even Halloween yet -- and Jeff told her that Apu looks like a "bloke's unmentionables" in his banana costume. Hopefully not healthy unmentionables. Also, I've mentioned them like three times now so I guess they're not unmentionable. And what's with all the banana stuff tonight? You guys are like, baiting me in my fragile state here. Mary opened the Arms, Gabriel was at the church, and Yitzhak was all thoughtful at the diner and Billy continued his bad mood there. I feel you, Billy. I mean, it's makeover day. Where the hell is the torrent? Makeover day! My squee is completely harshed by this trauma. Melody opened Groovy Tunes and is apparently back so yay for that, Rikku lacked her bounce at Wellspring Arms and was counseled by both Deadpool and Cable, the Jerries opened their store, and Leo meditated at the Photo Hut.
Jim: Here's your decaf.
Pam: Thank you. Why are you decaffeinating me? What if I went back to my room and found a torrent and it downloaded but I fell asleep? That would be sad.
Jim: Because you really don't need any caffeine at this point.
Pam: Um, okay, Mom.
Jim: Wow. Okay, Karal and Gavin arrived on the Causeway after tons of adventures and fighting and women. That part is pure speculation. Neil opened up the Devil's Nest, where Lucifer was reading a paper. Chris came in for a job and Dr Wilson came in for entertainment. Anders opened up Caritas and was rooting for the Red Sox. GO INDIANS! Professor Tyler came in for a drink and Billy talked to her after getting a drink of his own. Dr Troy opened the clinic in the morning and helped out Annette, while Dr Howser opened in the evening and was all by himself.
Pam: *hums 'All by Myself' slightly off-key*
Jim: ... Thank you, Pam. Roy brought Kerrigan chocolates...
Pam: Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh.
Jim: And Xander left phone messages and talked to Bridge.
Pam: I think that's it! Whooo!
Jim: Hopefully someone was able to cure your torrent woes.
Pam: I hope so. Seriously, just watch one episode and you'll understand.
Jim: Good night, Fandom! Also send her torrents for GOOD shows!
Pam: I WATCH GOOD SHOWS. Good night!