Pirate Radio, September 22
Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up! This is Fandom High's premiere Pirate Radio Station, and I'm DJ Ash for your Thursday Night ruling your airwaves with an iron fist!
::sound of elephants trumpeting, followed by an explosion, then a hearty Ash laugh::
First up, here's a little segment that I like to call:
::sounds of kissing, and some excited shouts of "Yes!"::
"Give Me Sugar, Baby!"
Looks like Marty got himself a new girlfriend. Alright, maybe the little jockstrap wants to call it a pet, but you gotta wonder about anyone who wants to keep livestock in their room!
Apparently Crichton Hearts Aeryn. Well isn't that a lovely bunch of chocolate covered rainbow puppies. On a side note, Kawalsky will do anything for the right payment... any of you sad lonely girls unable to find a date might just be able to buy one.
Cameron Mitchell somehow pulled a date with Vala. And the dumb lug doesn't even know what to do with her... Hey, Vala, when this knucklehead strikes out, you can come over to the Falcon and Hail to the King, baby...
What's this... ::sound of shuffling papers:: Uhhh, Jack Harkness gets Julian Sark to be his homecoming date. Okay knuckleheads, no. That's called going stag together. You can't get dates with real girls and have to settle for each other? The King has deigned you Knights of the PWN3D table, you ninnies.
God, this romance stuff cracks me up... Lee Adama tries to set up Lilly with Archie? Seriously... When you're setting someone up with your girly long-haired twin, consult them first! ::laughter::
Oh, and for those of you who're too chicken to ask out your homecoming date? Chaucer's is offering poetry services for that very use.
Now this is more up my alley... Pandora's Box opened up shop in town today, offering a wide variety of whatever perverted paraphernalia you kids need for your twisted little fantasies. Just remember guys, when you make your special someone hail to your little king, make sure he's properly ponchoed!
Alright... moving on to our next segment...
::sound of School Bell, followed by snoring::
"Academics and the Suckers Who Actually Go To Class"
Jareth's Magic Class covered dreams today. To quote my report... "batshit insane dreams". Ha! And you probably signed up wanting to pull rabbits out of hats, screwheads!
The Tick's Criminal Justice Class was all about battlecries today. Personally, I'm a big fan of "Come get some", but that's just me. Oh, and there was something about extra credit kittens. I'm not sure if you have to give him one, or eat one, or take a picture, but the opportunity is there, blunderheads.
Spider Jerusalem wasn't in Journalism Today. An assistant took care of business and tried to organize them to... Aw, who am I kidding. BO-RING. ::sound of toilet flushing.
Biology with Sara Sidle suffered an exam, of the surprise variety. Seriously, if any of you monkeys willingly allowed yourselves to enroll in a class under her, you deserve all the pain and suffering you get. Don't be crying to the King about anything the Queen of Ice did to you...
The Question was "What is a Civilization", in History of the Ancient World. The Answer isn't "Forty-Two", knuckleheads.
Some rapid fire reports, here: Speech Class let out early, Quantum Physics discussed historical events to witness, Home Ec talks about proper flossing, Quiz in Criminology, And we had a total no show in both East Asian History and Lifestyles.
We've also got reports that Abnormal Psychology has finally begun classes, Language class has everyone talking about being a cat, and Starting a Small Business started group work.
On a final note, Daniel Jackson gets kissed during his Anthropology Class, by a girl who's not even enrolled in the class. Come on baby, if you're giving out the sugar to that dorkwad, stop by Wrestling Club tomorrow to see what a real King can do.
And now the final part of my broadcast tonight...
::trumpet fanfare, and then loud blender whirring, followed by a squelchy splat::
"I'd Drink That For A Dollar!"
Here it is, our very special section of all the random crap that doesn't fit anywhere else, slammed and blended together for your ease of consumption.
That funny talking guy still works in the cafeteria. He's lived more than one day, which means either everyone who eats there is too sick to lynch him, or he's actually made the food edible... I'm sure joan_not_jane'll have a pool on which it is before next week, that devious little minx.
The Librarian listens to Queen. Somehow that's newsworthy enough to be on my desk. And note, he listens to Queen and not is a Queen, knuckleheads. Don't go confusing the two.
Some girl named George thinks the school is weird. Three words, George. No. Freaking. D'uh.
Edward Elric has... moving, escaping, books. Kid, if I find out any of those are bound in human skin and has pages inked in blood, you're gonna find yourself in detention for a year.
Alright, a couple more rapid fire notes for you kids: The Cuddy/Weir campaign had a big meeting, Callisto got a brand removed at Red's Parlor, Jayne Cobb finally went home to Sheldon Sand's, and Angela shot Marty in the ass at the firing range. Good one, Angela. Way to screw things up for those of us wanting weapons reinstated. My Remington's getting awfully sad staying home alone while I'm out during the day.
Cally's Homecoming Queen Campaign kicked off today with some bright orange posters... That baby's got my vote on cuteness alone. There's a Plague going around, so make sure to discuss your bill of health and full sexual histories before any hanky-panky, kiddos. Oh, and it looks like a bank opened. Whoop-de-freaking do.
Spike's Pub saw some action, and so did the Homecoming Committee. Some Lawyer girl stopped by the police station, and Cally had a nice time at the Perkolator.
John Crichton has the worst note-taking skills ever. We have unconfirmed reports that somehow this leads to him seeing boobies. Seriously, how does this work, kids? I haven't gotten any sugar since moving here, and this screwhead gets a free show because he makes stupid notes? The King is saddened.
Jake found himself a coffee plant. There's an 80's theme slumber party tomorrow. Krycek dropped by the Falcon again, that glorious bastard.
Well, that's all the news that they saw fit to throw on my desk here... If you did something you thought was so very special and it didn't get announced? Cry about it, knucklehead. The King makes the rules around here, at least on these nights.
If any babies wanna give me some sweet sugar, meet me outside the Falcon in ten minutes, So decrees the King. This is DJ Ash, signing off.
::whirring beeping sound of Pac-Man Dying::
[ooc: Note, this broadcast is full on Shock-Jock Ash. He may be slightly offensive, but hopefully in a humorous way, and not a malicious way. Ash's feelings do not necessarily reflect those of the player, so please don't hate me. And the code hopefully all works. likeguidelines is a freaking saint to do this most days. My brain is now soft melty-goo in my skull.]
::sound of elephants trumpeting, followed by an explosion, then a hearty Ash laugh::
First up, here's a little segment that I like to call:
::sounds of kissing, and some excited shouts of "Yes!"::
"Give Me Sugar, Baby!"
Looks like Marty got himself a new girlfriend. Alright, maybe the little jockstrap wants to call it a pet, but you gotta wonder about anyone who wants to keep livestock in their room!
Apparently Crichton Hearts Aeryn. Well isn't that a lovely bunch of chocolate covered rainbow puppies. On a side note, Kawalsky will do anything for the right payment... any of you sad lonely girls unable to find a date might just be able to buy one.
Cameron Mitchell somehow pulled a date with Vala. And the dumb lug doesn't even know what to do with her... Hey, Vala, when this knucklehead strikes out, you can come over to the Falcon and Hail to the King, baby...
What's this... ::sound of shuffling papers:: Uhhh, Jack Harkness gets Julian Sark to be his homecoming date. Okay knuckleheads, no. That's called going stag together. You can't get dates with real girls and have to settle for each other? The King has deigned you Knights of the PWN3D table, you ninnies.
God, this romance stuff cracks me up... Lee Adama tries to set up Lilly with Archie? Seriously... When you're setting someone up with your girly long-haired twin, consult them first! ::laughter::
Oh, and for those of you who're too chicken to ask out your homecoming date? Chaucer's is offering poetry services for that very use.
Now this is more up my alley... Pandora's Box opened up shop in town today, offering a wide variety of whatever perverted paraphernalia you kids need for your twisted little fantasies. Just remember guys, when you make your special someone hail to your little king, make sure he's properly ponchoed!
Alright... moving on to our next segment...
::sound of School Bell, followed by snoring::
"Academics and the Suckers Who Actually Go To Class"
Jareth's Magic Class covered dreams today. To quote my report... "batshit insane dreams". Ha! And you probably signed up wanting to pull rabbits out of hats, screwheads!
The Tick's Criminal Justice Class was all about battlecries today. Personally, I'm a big fan of "Come get some", but that's just me. Oh, and there was something about extra credit kittens. I'm not sure if you have to give him one, or eat one, or take a picture, but the opportunity is there, blunderheads.
Spider Jerusalem wasn't in Journalism Today. An assistant took care of business and tried to organize them to... Aw, who am I kidding. BO-RING. ::sound of toilet flushing.
Biology with Sara Sidle suffered an exam, of the surprise variety. Seriously, if any of you monkeys willingly allowed yourselves to enroll in a class under her, you deserve all the pain and suffering you get. Don't be crying to the King about anything the Queen of Ice did to you...
The Question was "What is a Civilization", in History of the Ancient World. The Answer isn't "Forty-Two", knuckleheads.
Some rapid fire reports, here: Speech Class let out early, Quantum Physics discussed historical events to witness, Home Ec talks about proper flossing, Quiz in Criminology, And we had a total no show in both East Asian History and Lifestyles.
We've also got reports that Abnormal Psychology has finally begun classes, Language class has everyone talking about being a cat, and Starting a Small Business started group work.
On a final note, Daniel Jackson gets kissed during his Anthropology Class, by a girl who's not even enrolled in the class. Come on baby, if you're giving out the sugar to that dorkwad, stop by Wrestling Club tomorrow to see what a real King can do.
And now the final part of my broadcast tonight...
::trumpet fanfare, and then loud blender whirring, followed by a squelchy splat::
"I'd Drink That For A Dollar!"
Here it is, our very special section of all the random crap that doesn't fit anywhere else, slammed and blended together for your ease of consumption.
That funny talking guy still works in the cafeteria. He's lived more than one day, which means either everyone who eats there is too sick to lynch him, or he's actually made the food edible... I'm sure joan_not_jane'll have a pool on which it is before next week, that devious little minx.
The Librarian listens to Queen. Somehow that's newsworthy enough to be on my desk. And note, he listens to Queen and not is a Queen, knuckleheads. Don't go confusing the two.
Some girl named George thinks the school is weird. Three words, George. No. Freaking. D'uh.
Edward Elric has... moving, escaping, books. Kid, if I find out any of those are bound in human skin and has pages inked in blood, you're gonna find yourself in detention for a year.
Alright, a couple more rapid fire notes for you kids: The Cuddy/Weir campaign had a big meeting, Callisto got a brand removed at Red's Parlor, Jayne Cobb finally went home to Sheldon Sand's, and Angela shot Marty in the ass at the firing range. Good one, Angela. Way to screw things up for those of us wanting weapons reinstated. My Remington's getting awfully sad staying home alone while I'm out during the day.
Cally's Homecoming Queen Campaign kicked off today with some bright orange posters... That baby's got my vote on cuteness alone. There's a Plague going around, so make sure to discuss your bill of health and full sexual histories before any hanky-panky, kiddos. Oh, and it looks like a bank opened. Whoop-de-freaking do.
Spike's Pub saw some action, and so did the Homecoming Committee. Some Lawyer girl stopped by the police station, and Cally had a nice time at the Perkolator.
John Crichton has the worst note-taking skills ever. We have unconfirmed reports that somehow this leads to him seeing boobies. Seriously, how does this work, kids? I haven't gotten any sugar since moving here, and this screwhead gets a free show because he makes stupid notes? The King is saddened.
Jake found himself a coffee plant. There's an 80's theme slumber party tomorrow. Krycek dropped by the Falcon again, that glorious bastard.
Well, that's all the news that they saw fit to throw on my desk here... If you did something you thought was so very special and it didn't get announced? Cry about it, knucklehead. The King makes the rules around here, at least on these nights.
If any babies wanna give me some sweet sugar, meet me outside the Falcon in ten minutes, So decrees the King. This is DJ Ash, signing off.
::whirring beeping sound of Pac-Man Dying::
[ooc: Note, this broadcast is full on Shock-Jock Ash. He may be slightly offensive, but hopefully in a humorous way, and not a malicious way. Ash's feelings do not necessarily reflect those of the player, so please don't hate me. And the code hopefully all works. likeguidelines is a freaking saint to do this most days. My brain is now soft melty-goo in my skull.]