Fandom Radio, Saturday, February 11th
Topher: ...this is weird.
Peter: This is radio. We do it every week. You may remember it.
Topher: I mean I feel... never mind.
Peter: Jaye isn’t paying us-- not paying us-- to feel. She’s paying us to read notes. Chop chop, I have really important... homework to get back to.
Topher: Of course you do.
Peter: Look, the... homework came in this morning and I’m assured that it’s vital, okay? Let’s move on.
SCHOOL
Peter: Chasing History’s Monsters decided to tackle the grand old tale of the Yeti this week. Apparently there was some confusion about wolf prints or something. Meanwhile, in Everyday Skills, Oz thought he’d give us a fancy dancing lessons with a Billy Idol flair, whoever that is. The dancing was of beginner quality.
Topher: Ha! Wait, did you have to dance?
Peter: I think that’s something best left to the imagination.
Topher: I mean, I’d really rather not.
Peter: Leadership, on the other hand, decided to change things up by bringing in a chimpanzee. Because clearly, what every educational experience lacks is a monkey. The class wondered what was up with that, and presumably hid behind their desks to avoid having poo flung at them. Eventually they bustled the beast out of the room.
In yet more exemplary teacher... examples, Dean was feeling under the weather, so he decided to throw fabric at his students and see what sticks. Figuratively speaking. We hope. Unlike Wesley’s situation, which apparently featured an actual Mexican stand-off between Wesley and porn.
*golf clap*
Topher: Ewwwww.
DORMS
Topher: Gabrielle was meditating or something and apparently she sucked at it. ‘Kay. Petra was having temperature problems in her room, but then her roommate came over and whined about not knowing how to go to a dance, so that happened. And Cara was sneezing in her room. Aaaalrighty.
Peter: Notes don’t specify whether anyone brought her tissues.
Topher: In the lobby, Annie was selling dance tickets. Are you going to that?
Peter: Sure, I’ll stick around for about an hour. It’s the social event of the season, right?
Topher: Ugh. I guess. And Da...something came over and got a ticket and ask questions about flowers and dates. Which would explain the whining at whatshername earlier. Then Wesley came over and bought some flowers or something and Annie talked about her dress. Okay. And also Billy was there. Talking to Annie about dates. Um.
*awkward silence*
Peter: Thanks, Topher. I think I’ll take it from here.
Here we get to the really exciting news. The list of secret Valentine-- Valentines was posted. People crowded around to ooh and aah and, in the case of Surreal, demand to know what the hell Valentine-- ...s was. Thankfully Elphaba helped her out of her predicament.
As it turned out, Elphaba had not planned to be a Secret Valentine... … Valentine, but Karla had decided to intervene and sign her up for the lonely hearts’ club. Dorothy and Tara weren’t feeling so Valentine...-y, but decided to platonic up tomorrow’s dance floor. Finally, Alex was extremely displeased to find he’d gotten himself a Valen... tine.
Valentine.
Topher: ...that’s your sister’s name.
Peter: Really. I hadn’t noticed.
TOWN
Topher: Audrey got hit on at the Trooper Station or something. Ew. At Cafe Luke’s, Bod felt weird and trying to distract himself. That sounds like a health concern but I don’t go there so who cares. Kenzi was in a good mood at her... store thing, and at Goodvalor’s Little Bivoli, she came over and brought Toby chocolate. Huh.
Peter: Gag me with a--
Topher: Peter? *microphone feedback* We’re recording.
Peter: Yes, I know, but thank you for pointing the microphone at me. Much appreciated.
Topher: Happy to help.
Peter: This is radio. We do it every week. You may remember it.
Topher: I mean I feel... never mind.
Peter: Jaye isn’t paying us-- not paying us-- to feel. She’s paying us to read notes. Chop chop, I have really important... homework to get back to.
Topher: Of course you do.
Peter: Look, the... homework came in this morning and I’m assured that it’s vital, okay? Let’s move on.
SCHOOL
Peter: Chasing History’s Monsters decided to tackle the grand old tale of the Yeti this week. Apparently there was some confusion about wolf prints or something. Meanwhile, in Everyday Skills, Oz thought he’d give us a fancy dancing lessons with a Billy Idol flair, whoever that is. The dancing was of beginner quality.
Topher: Ha! Wait, did you have to dance?
Peter: I think that’s something best left to the imagination.
Topher: I mean, I’d really rather not.
Peter: Leadership, on the other hand, decided to change things up by bringing in a chimpanzee. Because clearly, what every educational experience lacks is a monkey. The class wondered what was up with that, and presumably hid behind their desks to avoid having poo flung at them. Eventually they bustled the beast out of the room.
In yet more exemplary teacher... examples, Dean was feeling under the weather, so he decided to throw fabric at his students and see what sticks. Figuratively speaking. We hope. Unlike Wesley’s situation, which apparently featured an actual Mexican stand-off between Wesley and porn.
*golf clap*
Topher: Ewwwww.
DORMS
Topher: Gabrielle was meditating or something and apparently she sucked at it. ‘Kay. Petra was having temperature problems in her room, but then her roommate came over and whined about not knowing how to go to a dance, so that happened. And Cara was sneezing in her room. Aaaalrighty.
Peter: Notes don’t specify whether anyone brought her tissues.
Topher: In the lobby, Annie was selling dance tickets. Are you going to that?
Peter: Sure, I’ll stick around for about an hour. It’s the social event of the season, right?
Topher: Ugh. I guess. And Da...something came over and got a ticket and ask questions about flowers and dates. Which would explain the whining at whatshername earlier. Then Wesley came over and bought some flowers or something and Annie talked about her dress. Okay. And also Billy was there. Talking to Annie about dates. Um.
*awkward silence*
Peter: Thanks, Topher. I think I’ll take it from here.
Here we get to the really exciting news. The list of secret Valentine-- Valentines was posted. People crowded around to ooh and aah and, in the case of Surreal, demand to know what the hell Valentine-- ...s was. Thankfully Elphaba helped her out of her predicament.
As it turned out, Elphaba had not planned to be a Secret Valentine... … Valentine, but Karla had decided to intervene and sign her up for the lonely hearts’ club. Dorothy and Tara weren’t feeling so Valentine...-y, but decided to platonic up tomorrow’s dance floor. Finally, Alex was extremely displeased to find he’d gotten himself a Valen... tine.
Valentine.
Topher: ...that’s your sister’s name.
Peter: Really. I hadn’t noticed.
TOWN
Topher: Audrey got hit on at the Trooper Station or something. Ew. At Cafe Luke’s, Bod felt weird and trying to distract himself. That sounds like a health concern but I don’t go there so who cares. Kenzi was in a good mood at her... store thing, and at Goodvalor’s Little Bivoli, she came over and brought Toby chocolate. Huh.
Peter: Gag me with a--
Topher: Peter? *microphone feedback* We’re recording.
Peter: Yes, I know, but thank you for pointing the microphone at me. Much appreciated.
Topher: Happy to help.