Fandom Radio, Sunday Morning 7/3
Deadpool: Oh, the day after the newbies arrive! It’s like a hangover!
Reno: Speak for yourself, yo. I ain’t never been hung over from bottled water, an’ I ain’t about to start now.
Deadpool: Well, maybe you’re not drinking the right kind of water. Ever thought of that? Hmmmmm?
Reno: … Huh. Serves me right for ever changin’ my ways, yo.
Deadpool: Word.
Reno: Yo, Fandom Island! New people! Ponies! I’m Reno, an’ this guy here with me is Deadpool, and we’ll be your Sunday morning gossip. Uh. Snoops. Guys on the radio. … You know. You’re stuck with us.
Deadpool: Just think of us as the neighborhood watch who talks about your business in public and possibly adds random details for the hell of it.
Reno: Don’t worry. The random details are way more interestin’ than most of the shit that goes on around here.
Deadpool: Hell yeah! Over at the school we only have Bod shelving books over at the li-berry. Because school doesn't start again until Monday.
Reno: Nerrrrrrd.
Deadpool: Super nerd.
Reno: Back in the dorms, because we're just the kinda people who like to tell all you new kids what your buddies are doin' behind closed doors, Dolf was lookin' a little down in the dumps when he came back to his room. Quinn came back too, with a new little red car. The car's in the parkin' lot, not in the dorms. Just clarifyin'. The administration tends to frown to people who keep automotives in their dorm rooms, yo. After unpackin' her things, Miley got right onto the Skype to chat with a buddy from home. So, there's a newbie to go tackle, folks. She's got time for Skypin', then we ain't doin' our job around here, right? An' Ramona was also doin' that lookin' sad thing when Nathan showed up to talk about... a squiggly line. Squirrels must'a found somethin' shiny there, yo.
Deadpool: That just means we make shit up here! They talked about the futility of man and... how pie represents their pending mortality.
Reno: Aw, man. And I like pie.
Deadpool: Because we’re very deep and intellectual people. Who also enjoy being paid to hurt people.
Reno: It’s a living. In the fifth floor common room, because we ain't just satisfied gettin' rodents to eavesdrop in your bedrooms, Bruce was havin' a little bit of trouble gettin' the TV to play anything but bad Disney movies about singin' kids in middle school, yo. Tony swung by, maybe to mooch his Chinese food, maybe just to mock him about how the TV hates his guts, and Bruce wound up writin' an apology letter for ever sayin' that Tony's gonna do bad things with his own tech.
Deadpool: Don’t do it, Bruce! I know that guy! Wait... no, I’m thinkin’ of Hank Pym. Oh, Hank Pym. Always with the Ultron.
Reno: Pym kinda sounds like a cleaning solution, yo.
Deadpool: ...sounds about right.
Reno: Your world? Still weird.
Deadpool: You wish you could live there. In the magical world of the town, Tiny was all by himself at the Devil's Nest. I hope he spend his time doing something nice instead of crying like a preteen girl about how Bo left him alooo~oone. Over at the Gig, Dani was watching the Moraccon Royal wedding--wait, there's one of those goin' on? Man, I am so behind on my pointless royalty watchin'. Miley the goddamn hippie showed up with her horse, BlueJeans and if that's the name of the pink pony running around, I will never stop laughing.
Reno: Nah. That pony’s name is Pinkie. Good to know that the Skype kid brought along a friend for her, though.
Deadpool: Jan is gonna love that pony. And hopefully not try to strangle it with hugs like that one weekend you loved marmalade.
Reno: I still ain’t managed to get all the preserves outta the fridge, yo. In other news in the town, Mitchell was bein' all, "I have a house, I'm gonna wander in it," before Kate and Jack, alumni edition, stopped by and were all awwwwkward. Maybe they didn't like his interior decoratin' choices? Squirrel never said, yo.
Deadpool: In case no one noticed, there was a picnic today. Just, you know, eff why eye. All those wee little newbies got to meet their siblings. Like Kenzi claimed that her name was Astra and I'm not sure which name is worse, to be honest. Becauce either way, I'm gonna mock her. Anyway! She made Limey wait before talking to him and then picking his pocket. Oh, Limey. You go get your stuff back. Jack and Miley met up and Miley was all 'Yeeeeeah!' because he was way better than her real brother. Jeremy and Cassel met up and had the normal 'Yeah, we're by Atlantis' that comes along with being in Fandom. The Goddamn Bruce Wayne met Ryan--who is a chick--and talked about the rain forest. Hiiiippppiiiiies. And Annie kept an eye out for Bart. He's small, easily missed.
Reno: The pony’s small, too.
Deadpool: Are you implying he is hiding in the the pony? Because that’s just weird.
Reno: Maybe the pony ate him? I dunno.
Deadpool: NOT AGAIN!
Reno: Mmm, delicious rookie.
Deadpool: If we lose another newbie second chancer, I will get very annoyed. Oh, they also gave out room assignments. Kenzi-Astra wasn't happy to have a boy roommate even though she likes to pick-pocket. Just sayin'. Kate D. and Ryan the chick also talked about who got what bed and drinking habits. And, for the last time, they're not pajamas! Juliet was cool with sharing a room with Cassel even though he's a guy, but wasn't cool with giving up closet space. Oh, the problems of the rich and mildly famous.
Reno: And there were teachers! Who the hell let them come to the party anyhow, right? Pinkie an' Barney got to talkin' about parties, an' Barney did a little bit of bogglin' at the little pink pony. Jane was pretty interested in Pinkie too, as a specimen or whatever, and even managed to remember her manners an' curtsy when Pinkie spoke to her. The British, man. You just can't shake those guys, yo. Alistair talks to Pinkie about what they teach after bein' busted for starin' her way, and then he an' Deadpool getto talkin' about altarboys, mistaken identities, and starin' contests, as you do, yo.
Deadpool: He’s got sass. Momoko was on the pony train and super excited about the pink. Pinkie Pie and her are going to be the best of friends.
Reno: Say it with me, Fandom. Awwwwwwwww.
Deadpool: It’s not official until there are glitter flags, though.
Reno: Come on, squirrels. Get on that.
*Chittering*
Reno: At least Alistair got a bit of help from Dick, who taught him about nametags. I could make some kinda dirty joke about that, but I ain't got enough rum in me yet to come up with a real good one that I won't lose my radio job for, yo. My new teachin' partner Cindy took a moment to make sure that Alistair ain't shellshocked after meetin' my esteemed radio partner, which was good of her. Not that there's anything shockin' about Deadpool, right? An' all the while, Jane was checkin' out Alistair's fine ass. Fine in her opinion and the squirrels'. I'm withholdin' judgment, here.
Reno: Neal tries to give Barney a compliment on the suit, which goes a little sideways on him. Really, can't blame a guy for tryin', right? Suits are kinda like a sacred institution or somethin'. Not that I'm biased, yo. At least Hermininininy was there to gently let poor Neal know that he's in for a bit of a ride, now that he's on Fandom Island. Poor mook.
Deadpool: Her-my-own-ee. Say it with me no. Her-my-own-ee.
Reno: I could, but that ain’t half as fun.
Deadpool: Fine, how about Tina?
Reno: Fred.
Deadpool: Fred-tina. Reno here was drinking at the new kids with wreckless abandon when Cindy showed up all 'Hey, why are we teaching a class together?' The answer, I'll assume, was 'Because of ginger power.' It works for me. Pinkie Pie wandered over to compliment him on his gingerness and he told her all about jello shots. Because that's what a talkin' pink pony needs, Reno. Jello shots. Kenzi-Astra tried to pick Bo the well endowed's pocket and was all 'I've met you before!' and you get used to that crap. Dick--heh--was impressed that Bo was both a bartender and school security. I think it works in a certain way. Our new ginger, Guy asked after Fraser and introduced himself to Bo. Damn gingers are everywhere now.
Reno: It’s true. We’re takin’ over. Give it a year or two, an’ there won’t be any blondes or brunettes left. Guys with white hair can stay, though. The mayor can kick my friggin’ ass.
Deadpool: No, I refuse to deal with more white haired guys who can kick my ass.
Reno: Then we’re dyin’ Cable’s hair red.
Deadpool: You know, he did have reddish brown hair when I had to raise him from a baby.
Reno: An’ you’re sleepin’ with the guy now?
Deadpool: It lasted for about a day. He looked like Nate Grey only less douchey. Hermione was also surprised to find that Bo was working for the school. You know, these things happen and--I think I was a small bird thing at the time. Cindy welcomed Guy back with a sixpack of beer. I wanna be her teaching buddy if it gets me free beer. Hermione and Belle talked about the last semester and other girly things that are girly. Oz and I decided how to defend ourselves against pony attack if Pinkie Pie is the first wave. Which is possible. Hercules met Sam Winchester and oh god, the tallness there. It's scary. And, if this the Hercules from home... cool story, bro.
Reno: Thumbs-up right back at’cha, yo.
Deadpool: AWWW YEAH.
Reno: If you guys out there ain’t givin’ thumbs-ups to your radios, you all suck.
Deadpool: Quinn and Wesley talked about what she missed with the island moving around through time and space. And she said her parents got a divorce, but it wasn't horrible. Peter and Topher were catty, catty lil' bitches about watchin' people wander around the picnic. Because they're chicks. Secretly. Ariel bounced--damn it, Disney--up to Miley and talked all about the island moving around and how time travel is totally normal. And how the vice principal is totally telling the truth on the radio all the time. Oh yeah. Then Miley met Pinkie Pie who talked at her, which is unusual. For some people. But she learned that Pinkie throws parties all the time, which is totally more normal than before. Billy who hopefully won't go crazy like his spiritual mom met Miley and they talked about music and how Justin Bieber throws awesome parties. Which is a damn dirty lie.
Reno: Maybe he only throws good parties on Friday.
Deadpool: ...I will stab you in the eye until you die from it.
Reno: What day of the week will you do that, again?
Deadpool: Sunday, Sunday. Bloody Sunday.
Reno: … You win.
Deadpool: HELL YEAH! Kate gave Miley a chocolate coin as a welcome to her special floor and that just reminds me of Turtle. Which reminds me of the other Miley we had... oh, memories. Quinn and Jacob caught up about his life dating Caroline and her life not dating Caroline. Toby introduced himself to Quinn, and was all 'awwww, too late' about hititng on her after she pointed out Puck. Bo wandered around and got talked at by Claudia about how she wasn't around for most of the invasions because she's still new. Hercules stopped by to flirt and talk about being a demi-god. And an internet meme.
Reno: Man, I dunno how to compete.
Deadpool: Dress up like Advice Dog?
Reno: Or Business Cat. I already got the suit for that one.
Deadpool: I’ll allow this.
Reno: Now for the less excitin' part of the picnic than any place where we sexy teachers were gathered, yo. You know. The rest of it. Kenzi was nibblin when Sam made the mistake of tryin' to steal some food. Man, you don't mess with another person's food. They will mess your shit up, yo. Petey-Pete-Peter got to talkin' with her about Deadpool's parenting skills, which ain't as bad as you'd think, kids, and how Peter is totally borin'. So bug him, kids. Bug him good. Ariel greeted Kenzi with talk about food an' boot camp, Jason talked to her about how she's from some made-up place called Canada, an' she an' Toby bonded over their floppy-headed Canadian-ness. Uh... Floppy heads, squirrels? Damn, Canadians are weird.
Deadpool: That was the special squirrel who I feel a strange kinship with. And I do not have a floppy head, thanks.
Reno: Well, most of the time, you don’t.
Deadpool: ...that only happened once.
Reno: Once is enough, yo. Pinkie was wearin' a whipped cream beard, which I can only guess made her look more sophisticated or somethin', an' Kenzi tried to claim her. As you do with bearded pink ponies, yo. Ariel made friends with the pony through the power of shared bein' cute and havin' eyes as big as half their skulls or somethin', an' then they talked about ass-tattoos. I have one of those! Kate an' Toby talked about that awkward stage in life where you ain't quite new, and you ain't quite old. We call that puberty, kids. Claudia an' her goggles were there, and she an' Topher talked about pink ponies. Scandal. Quinn talked with Claudia too, about all the not-much that she missed while she was away. Shirtless chicks, Claudia. You forgot to tell her about all the shirtless chicks.
Deadpool: Why did no one take pictures for this occasion?
Reno: We ain’t left Atlantis yet! It’s not too late!
Deadpool: Someone, get on that!
Reno: Caroline cornered Jack McAllister to accuse him of not takin' care of his little brother, but man, if the kid's in high school, shouldn't he be old enough to wipe his own butt? Ariel found Alistair an' his giant plate of grub, an' there was a bit of bogglin' when he found out that not only did he really have students, but she was one of 'em. Yeah. I had moments like that too when I started here, yo. Still can't believe they let me teach. Miley an' Caroline talk about shoes, shopping, and shared big siblings, so they're kinda like Fandom family or somethin'. Jacob an' Caroline talk about how she's got a single now, hint-hint? Sookie whose name always cracks me the hell up checked up on her little sibling, Simon, an' they talked about hallucinogens. Nope, guys, the pink pony is real. Sam threw a napkin at Simon, who went all invisible when she tried to get all peer-pressure on him. As a responsible adult and member of the school faculty, I'm supposed to tell you kids to just say 'no' to peer pressure, yo. Dolf didn't seem to be doin' too hot, so Momoko stopped by to check on him. Aw. Peeeeeter found Cassel, an' they talked about how it ain't 2011 everywhere. Or everywhen, I guess. Toby noticed that Cassel didn't seem all that happy to be here, an' got the "it's-my-mom's-fault" thing. Always is, ain't it? An' Ariel, who was busy yesterday, played Welcome Wagon an' talked with Cassel about how in his last school, he was the poor kid among a bunch'a rich brats who were only there because they couldn't stay outta shit.
...
Reno: Don't go lookin' in the wallets of most of our students, kid. You'll cry yourself to sleep tonight, yo.
Deadpool: We’re lookin’ at you, Bruce, Tony, Warren and those Darling kids. I think that’s all the ridiculously rich ones on island.
Reno: Yeah, unless we got some new ones yesterday. Blind Seer an' Pinkie Pie had themselves a bit of a pony-and-wolf moment. Meaning they shook water outta their fur. Mane. Hair. Whatever. Jacob was all wet an' shirtless, which meant that one of the new kids, Miley-who-Skypes, decided to hit on him. Claudia wasn't surprised to see him runnin' around without a shirt, and they started to gossip about the island's sex life. I ain't sure if that means they were talkin' about the people on it, or about the island itself. This is Fandom, after all. Stan an' Toby watched the pony in the hopes that she wouldn't drag 'em off on any wild adventures. Because we all know that goin' on adventures with pink horses can lead to a bad case of stolen kidney. Or the government nuking imaginations. Or... somethin'. Stan shared them worries with Annie, turnin' her off of the idea of ever visitin' Colorado. Ever. Pinkie, bein' a pony who in an' of herself is probably made up of some kinda mind-altering substance, wanted to dance with Ramona, who was feelin' a bit antisocial yesterday. Puck came to the picnic without a shirt on, which I don't really recommend in that weather, but it got him a hug from Quinn, so maybe I don't know what I'm talkin' about, yo. Kate shared my way of thinkin' about the shirtlessness thing, but he got a hug from her, too. So I really don't know what the hell I'm talkin' about, I'm seein'. Bruce an' Quinn did some catchin' up about their respective world travels, and talked about how bein' seniors means they can boss the other kids around, yo. Yeah, but I'm a teacher, so I got rank over the both of you. Suck it, rookies. An' Bruce an' Tony caught up on the places the island's been before they got to talkin' about research and development. Rich kids. Yep.
Deadpool: This can only end with something coming to life and trying to kill us all. Or turning blue.
Reno: Da ba di.
*ROCK OUT*
Deadpool: Disney Overlord did that bouncing thing at Bruce too, asking about his mountain climbing while he was away. But he was mostly just glad to be back in the nice, normal Fandom. Ramona and Bruce also did the catch up thing, though they also talked about being trapped in an alcove. Which is like a closet, only less metaphorical. Jim watched people from behind a plate full of Twinkies. Mmmm--Twinkies. When Stan stopped by to discuss chemicals in them and how they really need to deep fry those suckers. Because you don't have enough fat in your diet yet, let's deep fry some treats! Ariel was just all over the place, also talking to Jim about not being able to impress the new kids with her mad skating skills. Charlie Swan's mustache was keepin' an eye on the kids when Jacob was almost sure he recognized that mustache.
Reno: Must be one hell of a mustache, then.
Deadpool: It fights crime.
Reno: … Remind me to try an’ grow some not-shitty facial hair.
Deadpool: If you can try. Lion-o was keeping dry with his plate of food when Pinkie Pie showed up and even I can't follow this tangent. Only pink ponies have managed this. Well, that and Doom getting into a fight with War. That shit was epic. Lindsay and Lion-o also caught up! And then Momoko and Jaime were awkward at each other about him still being here. In an awkward way.
Reno: Awkwardly.
Deadpool: *cough*
Reno: Aaaaanyway. The welcome picnic went on. An' on. An' on, yo. Jaime wasn't all that thrilled to run into Guy, probably because doin' so meant that he got a noogie. Have fun with that hair, Jamie. caroline an' Nathan talked about findin' girls, for him, not her, though I ain't gonna judge anyone here for their lifestyle choices, yo. An' then he called her a weenie for movin' down to the second floor. I can't disagree. I lived up on the fourth. Second-floor kids were totally weenies, yo. Ramona and Nathan talked about what kinda drugs they had to be on in order to see Pinkie Pie. I'm gonna go out on a limb an' guess at this point that it's somethin' in the water, here. Even I was drinkin' it yesterday, yo. Hercules gave a noogie to that Warren kid, thus makin' late afternoon into the time of day for messed-up hair courtesy of teachers. When Warren escaped Herc's clutches, he talked with Tony about smelly new kids. Yeah. The weather really brings out that nasty "Wet Student Smell." Warren then got to being all avoidy with Wesley about feeeeeelings, so they talked about classes and vampires, an' other normal things like that instead. And Sam felt it necessary to educate Toby about missed opportunities when he failed to try to pick up some chick after she attempted to steal his food. What is it I said about food-stealin', kids? Don't do it. You don't get picked up.
Deadpool: Yeah, theft is only for those with the skill for it!
Reno: You know, we could almost teach a class on that, yo.
Deadpool: ...that would work. ‘How to Commit Crimes Awesomely’. Hercules was busy balancing an olive on his bicep because there wasn't enough alcohol to keep this party hoppin'. Though Richie was all impressed by it. Because olives on arms are the new in thing, kids. Get started on that. Bobby tossed a tomato at Hercules' head and then got hugged like a wee tiny little Frosty that he is. Last, Pinkie Pie and Stark met and there was talk of parties, cupcakes, parties, music, parties, and parties. Oh god, is Party Cat here?
Reno: I dunno, but you just scared off the squirrels by usin’ the C-word.
Deadpool: PARTYIN’ PARTYIN’
Reno: Yeah?
Deadpool: PARTYIN’ PARTYIN’!
Reno: Yeah.
Reno: Speak for yourself, yo. I ain’t never been hung over from bottled water, an’ I ain’t about to start now.
Deadpool: Well, maybe you’re not drinking the right kind of water. Ever thought of that? Hmmmmm?
Reno: … Huh. Serves me right for ever changin’ my ways, yo.
Deadpool: Word.
Reno: Yo, Fandom Island! New people! Ponies! I’m Reno, an’ this guy here with me is Deadpool, and we’ll be your Sunday morning gossip. Uh. Snoops. Guys on the radio. … You know. You’re stuck with us.
Deadpool: Just think of us as the neighborhood watch who talks about your business in public and possibly adds random details for the hell of it.
Reno: Don’t worry. The random details are way more interestin’ than most of the shit that goes on around here.
Deadpool: Hell yeah! Over at the school we only have Bod shelving books over at the li-berry. Because school doesn't start again until Monday.
Reno: Nerrrrrrd.
Deadpool: Super nerd.
Reno: Back in the dorms, because we're just the kinda people who like to tell all you new kids what your buddies are doin' behind closed doors, Dolf was lookin' a little down in the dumps when he came back to his room. Quinn came back too, with a new little red car. The car's in the parkin' lot, not in the dorms. Just clarifyin'. The administration tends to frown to people who keep automotives in their dorm rooms, yo. After unpackin' her things, Miley got right onto the Skype to chat with a buddy from home. So, there's a newbie to go tackle, folks. She's got time for Skypin', then we ain't doin' our job around here, right? An' Ramona was also doin' that lookin' sad thing when Nathan showed up to talk about... a squiggly line. Squirrels must'a found somethin' shiny there, yo.
Deadpool: That just means we make shit up here! They talked about the futility of man and... how pie represents their pending mortality.
Reno: Aw, man. And I like pie.
Deadpool: Because we’re very deep and intellectual people. Who also enjoy being paid to hurt people.
Reno: It’s a living. In the fifth floor common room, because we ain't just satisfied gettin' rodents to eavesdrop in your bedrooms, Bruce was havin' a little bit of trouble gettin' the TV to play anything but bad Disney movies about singin' kids in middle school, yo. Tony swung by, maybe to mooch his Chinese food, maybe just to mock him about how the TV hates his guts, and Bruce wound up writin' an apology letter for ever sayin' that Tony's gonna do bad things with his own tech.
Deadpool: Don’t do it, Bruce! I know that guy! Wait... no, I’m thinkin’ of Hank Pym. Oh, Hank Pym. Always with the Ultron.
Reno: Pym kinda sounds like a cleaning solution, yo.
Deadpool: ...sounds about right.
Reno: Your world? Still weird.
Deadpool: You wish you could live there. In the magical world of the town, Tiny was all by himself at the Devil's Nest. I hope he spend his time doing something nice instead of crying like a preteen girl about how Bo left him alooo~oone. Over at the Gig, Dani was watching the Moraccon Royal wedding--wait, there's one of those goin' on? Man, I am so behind on my pointless royalty watchin'. Miley the goddamn hippie showed up with her horse, BlueJeans and if that's the name of the pink pony running around, I will never stop laughing.
Reno: Nah. That pony’s name is Pinkie. Good to know that the Skype kid brought along a friend for her, though.
Deadpool: Jan is gonna love that pony. And hopefully not try to strangle it with hugs like that one weekend you loved marmalade.
Reno: I still ain’t managed to get all the preserves outta the fridge, yo. In other news in the town, Mitchell was bein' all, "I have a house, I'm gonna wander in it," before Kate and Jack, alumni edition, stopped by and were all awwwwkward. Maybe they didn't like his interior decoratin' choices? Squirrel never said, yo.
Deadpool: In case no one noticed, there was a picnic today. Just, you know, eff why eye. All those wee little newbies got to meet their siblings. Like Kenzi claimed that her name was Astra and I'm not sure which name is worse, to be honest. Becauce either way, I'm gonna mock her. Anyway! She made Limey wait before talking to him and then picking his pocket. Oh, Limey. You go get your stuff back. Jack and Miley met up and Miley was all 'Yeeeeeah!' because he was way better than her real brother. Jeremy and Cassel met up and had the normal 'Yeah, we're by Atlantis' that comes along with being in Fandom. The Goddamn Bruce Wayne met Ryan--who is a chick--and talked about the rain forest. Hiiiippppiiiiies. And Annie kept an eye out for Bart. He's small, easily missed.
Reno: The pony’s small, too.
Deadpool: Are you implying he is hiding in the the pony? Because that’s just weird.
Reno: Maybe the pony ate him? I dunno.
Deadpool: NOT AGAIN!
Reno: Mmm, delicious rookie.
Deadpool: If we lose another newbie second chancer, I will get very annoyed. Oh, they also gave out room assignments. Kenzi-Astra wasn't happy to have a boy roommate even though she likes to pick-pocket. Just sayin'. Kate D. and Ryan the chick also talked about who got what bed and drinking habits. And, for the last time, they're not pajamas! Juliet was cool with sharing a room with Cassel even though he's a guy, but wasn't cool with giving up closet space. Oh, the problems of the rich and mildly famous.
Reno: And there were teachers! Who the hell let them come to the party anyhow, right? Pinkie an' Barney got to talkin' about parties, an' Barney did a little bit of bogglin' at the little pink pony. Jane was pretty interested in Pinkie too, as a specimen or whatever, and even managed to remember her manners an' curtsy when Pinkie spoke to her. The British, man. You just can't shake those guys, yo. Alistair talks to Pinkie about what they teach after bein' busted for starin' her way, and then he an' Deadpool getto talkin' about altarboys, mistaken identities, and starin' contests, as you do, yo.
Deadpool: He’s got sass. Momoko was on the pony train and super excited about the pink. Pinkie Pie and her are going to be the best of friends.
Reno: Say it with me, Fandom. Awwwwwwwww.
Deadpool: It’s not official until there are glitter flags, though.
Reno: Come on, squirrels. Get on that.
*Chittering*
Reno: At least Alistair got a bit of help from Dick, who taught him about nametags. I could make some kinda dirty joke about that, but I ain't got enough rum in me yet to come up with a real good one that I won't lose my radio job for, yo. My new teachin' partner Cindy took a moment to make sure that Alistair ain't shellshocked after meetin' my esteemed radio partner, which was good of her. Not that there's anything shockin' about Deadpool, right? An' all the while, Jane was checkin' out Alistair's fine ass. Fine in her opinion and the squirrels'. I'm withholdin' judgment, here.
Reno: Neal tries to give Barney a compliment on the suit, which goes a little sideways on him. Really, can't blame a guy for tryin', right? Suits are kinda like a sacred institution or somethin'. Not that I'm biased, yo. At least Hermininininy was there to gently let poor Neal know that he's in for a bit of a ride, now that he's on Fandom Island. Poor mook.
Deadpool: Her-my-own-ee. Say it with me no. Her-my-own-ee.
Reno: I could, but that ain’t half as fun.
Deadpool: Fine, how about Tina?
Reno: Fred.
Deadpool: Fred-tina. Reno here was drinking at the new kids with wreckless abandon when Cindy showed up all 'Hey, why are we teaching a class together?' The answer, I'll assume, was 'Because of ginger power.' It works for me. Pinkie Pie wandered over to compliment him on his gingerness and he told her all about jello shots. Because that's what a talkin' pink pony needs, Reno. Jello shots. Kenzi-Astra tried to pick Bo the well endowed's pocket and was all 'I've met you before!' and you get used to that crap. Dick--heh--was impressed that Bo was both a bartender and school security. I think it works in a certain way. Our new ginger, Guy asked after Fraser and introduced himself to Bo. Damn gingers are everywhere now.
Reno: It’s true. We’re takin’ over. Give it a year or two, an’ there won’t be any blondes or brunettes left. Guys with white hair can stay, though. The mayor can kick my friggin’ ass.
Deadpool: No, I refuse to deal with more white haired guys who can kick my ass.
Reno: Then we’re dyin’ Cable’s hair red.
Deadpool: You know, he did have reddish brown hair when I had to raise him from a baby.
Reno: An’ you’re sleepin’ with the guy now?
Deadpool: It lasted for about a day. He looked like Nate Grey only less douchey. Hermione was also surprised to find that Bo was working for the school. You know, these things happen and--I think I was a small bird thing at the time. Cindy welcomed Guy back with a sixpack of beer. I wanna be her teaching buddy if it gets me free beer. Hermione and Belle talked about the last semester and other girly things that are girly. Oz and I decided how to defend ourselves against pony attack if Pinkie Pie is the first wave. Which is possible. Hercules met Sam Winchester and oh god, the tallness there. It's scary. And, if this the Hercules from home... cool story, bro.
Reno: Thumbs-up right back at’cha, yo.
Deadpool: AWWW YEAH.
Reno: If you guys out there ain’t givin’ thumbs-ups to your radios, you all suck.
Deadpool: Quinn and Wesley talked about what she missed with the island moving around through time and space. And she said her parents got a divorce, but it wasn't horrible. Peter and Topher were catty, catty lil' bitches about watchin' people wander around the picnic. Because they're chicks. Secretly. Ariel bounced--damn it, Disney--up to Miley and talked all about the island moving around and how time travel is totally normal. And how the vice principal is totally telling the truth on the radio all the time. Oh yeah. Then Miley met Pinkie Pie who talked at her, which is unusual. For some people. But she learned that Pinkie throws parties all the time, which is totally more normal than before. Billy who hopefully won't go crazy like his spiritual mom met Miley and they talked about music and how Justin Bieber throws awesome parties. Which is a damn dirty lie.
Reno: Maybe he only throws good parties on Friday.
Deadpool: ...I will stab you in the eye until you die from it.
Reno: What day of the week will you do that, again?
Deadpool: Sunday, Sunday. Bloody Sunday.
Reno: … You win.
Deadpool: HELL YEAH! Kate gave Miley a chocolate coin as a welcome to her special floor and that just reminds me of Turtle. Which reminds me of the other Miley we had... oh, memories. Quinn and Jacob caught up about his life dating Caroline and her life not dating Caroline. Toby introduced himself to Quinn, and was all 'awwww, too late' about hititng on her after she pointed out Puck. Bo wandered around and got talked at by Claudia about how she wasn't around for most of the invasions because she's still new. Hercules stopped by to flirt and talk about being a demi-god. And an internet meme.
Reno: Man, I dunno how to compete.
Deadpool: Dress up like Advice Dog?
Reno: Or Business Cat. I already got the suit for that one.
Deadpool: I’ll allow this.
Reno: Now for the less excitin' part of the picnic than any place where we sexy teachers were gathered, yo. You know. The rest of it. Kenzi was nibblin when Sam made the mistake of tryin' to steal some food. Man, you don't mess with another person's food. They will mess your shit up, yo. Petey-Pete-Peter got to talkin' with her about Deadpool's parenting skills, which ain't as bad as you'd think, kids, and how Peter is totally borin'. So bug him, kids. Bug him good. Ariel greeted Kenzi with talk about food an' boot camp, Jason talked to her about how she's from some made-up place called Canada, an' she an' Toby bonded over their floppy-headed Canadian-ness. Uh... Floppy heads, squirrels? Damn, Canadians are weird.
Deadpool: That was the special squirrel who I feel a strange kinship with. And I do not have a floppy head, thanks.
Reno: Well, most of the time, you don’t.
Deadpool: ...that only happened once.
Reno: Once is enough, yo. Pinkie was wearin' a whipped cream beard, which I can only guess made her look more sophisticated or somethin', an' Kenzi tried to claim her. As you do with bearded pink ponies, yo. Ariel made friends with the pony through the power of shared bein' cute and havin' eyes as big as half their skulls or somethin', an' then they talked about ass-tattoos. I have one of those! Kate an' Toby talked about that awkward stage in life where you ain't quite new, and you ain't quite old. We call that puberty, kids. Claudia an' her goggles were there, and she an' Topher talked about pink ponies. Scandal. Quinn talked with Claudia too, about all the not-much that she missed while she was away. Shirtless chicks, Claudia. You forgot to tell her about all the shirtless chicks.
Deadpool: Why did no one take pictures for this occasion?
Reno: We ain’t left Atlantis yet! It’s not too late!
Deadpool: Someone, get on that!
Reno: Caroline cornered Jack McAllister to accuse him of not takin' care of his little brother, but man, if the kid's in high school, shouldn't he be old enough to wipe his own butt? Ariel found Alistair an' his giant plate of grub, an' there was a bit of bogglin' when he found out that not only did he really have students, but she was one of 'em. Yeah. I had moments like that too when I started here, yo. Still can't believe they let me teach. Miley an' Caroline talk about shoes, shopping, and shared big siblings, so they're kinda like Fandom family or somethin'. Jacob an' Caroline talk about how she's got a single now, hint-hint? Sookie whose name always cracks me the hell up checked up on her little sibling, Simon, an' they talked about hallucinogens. Nope, guys, the pink pony is real. Sam threw a napkin at Simon, who went all invisible when she tried to get all peer-pressure on him. As a responsible adult and member of the school faculty, I'm supposed to tell you kids to just say 'no' to peer pressure, yo. Dolf didn't seem to be doin' too hot, so Momoko stopped by to check on him. Aw. Peeeeeter found Cassel, an' they talked about how it ain't 2011 everywhere. Or everywhen, I guess. Toby noticed that Cassel didn't seem all that happy to be here, an' got the "it's-my-mom's-fault" thing. Always is, ain't it? An' Ariel, who was busy yesterday, played Welcome Wagon an' talked with Cassel about how in his last school, he was the poor kid among a bunch'a rich brats who were only there because they couldn't stay outta shit.
...
Reno: Don't go lookin' in the wallets of most of our students, kid. You'll cry yourself to sleep tonight, yo.
Deadpool: We’re lookin’ at you, Bruce, Tony, Warren and those Darling kids. I think that’s all the ridiculously rich ones on island.
Reno: Yeah, unless we got some new ones yesterday. Blind Seer an' Pinkie Pie had themselves a bit of a pony-and-wolf moment. Meaning they shook water outta their fur. Mane. Hair. Whatever. Jacob was all wet an' shirtless, which meant that one of the new kids, Miley-who-Skypes, decided to hit on him. Claudia wasn't surprised to see him runnin' around without a shirt, and they started to gossip about the island's sex life. I ain't sure if that means they were talkin' about the people on it, or about the island itself. This is Fandom, after all. Stan an' Toby watched the pony in the hopes that she wouldn't drag 'em off on any wild adventures. Because we all know that goin' on adventures with pink horses can lead to a bad case of stolen kidney. Or the government nuking imaginations. Or... somethin'. Stan shared them worries with Annie, turnin' her off of the idea of ever visitin' Colorado. Ever. Pinkie, bein' a pony who in an' of herself is probably made up of some kinda mind-altering substance, wanted to dance with Ramona, who was feelin' a bit antisocial yesterday. Puck came to the picnic without a shirt on, which I don't really recommend in that weather, but it got him a hug from Quinn, so maybe I don't know what I'm talkin' about, yo. Kate shared my way of thinkin' about the shirtlessness thing, but he got a hug from her, too. So I really don't know what the hell I'm talkin' about, I'm seein'. Bruce an' Quinn did some catchin' up about their respective world travels, and talked about how bein' seniors means they can boss the other kids around, yo. Yeah, but I'm a teacher, so I got rank over the both of you. Suck it, rookies. An' Bruce an' Tony caught up on the places the island's been before they got to talkin' about research and development. Rich kids. Yep.
Deadpool: This can only end with something coming to life and trying to kill us all. Or turning blue.
Reno: Da ba di.
*ROCK OUT*
Deadpool: Disney Overlord did that bouncing thing at Bruce too, asking about his mountain climbing while he was away. But he was mostly just glad to be back in the nice, normal Fandom. Ramona and Bruce also did the catch up thing, though they also talked about being trapped in an alcove. Which is like a closet, only less metaphorical. Jim watched people from behind a plate full of Twinkies. Mmmm--Twinkies. When Stan stopped by to discuss chemicals in them and how they really need to deep fry those suckers. Because you don't have enough fat in your diet yet, let's deep fry some treats! Ariel was just all over the place, also talking to Jim about not being able to impress the new kids with her mad skating skills. Charlie Swan's mustache was keepin' an eye on the kids when Jacob was almost sure he recognized that mustache.
Reno: Must be one hell of a mustache, then.
Deadpool: It fights crime.
Reno: … Remind me to try an’ grow some not-shitty facial hair.
Deadpool: If you can try. Lion-o was keeping dry with his plate of food when Pinkie Pie showed up and even I can't follow this tangent. Only pink ponies have managed this. Well, that and Doom getting into a fight with War. That shit was epic. Lindsay and Lion-o also caught up! And then Momoko and Jaime were awkward at each other about him still being here. In an awkward way.
Reno: Awkwardly.
Deadpool: *cough*
Reno: Aaaaanyway. The welcome picnic went on. An' on. An' on, yo. Jaime wasn't all that thrilled to run into Guy, probably because doin' so meant that he got a noogie. Have fun with that hair, Jamie. caroline an' Nathan talked about findin' girls, for him, not her, though I ain't gonna judge anyone here for their lifestyle choices, yo. An' then he called her a weenie for movin' down to the second floor. I can't disagree. I lived up on the fourth. Second-floor kids were totally weenies, yo. Ramona and Nathan talked about what kinda drugs they had to be on in order to see Pinkie Pie. I'm gonna go out on a limb an' guess at this point that it's somethin' in the water, here. Even I was drinkin' it yesterday, yo. Hercules gave a noogie to that Warren kid, thus makin' late afternoon into the time of day for messed-up hair courtesy of teachers. When Warren escaped Herc's clutches, he talked with Tony about smelly new kids. Yeah. The weather really brings out that nasty "Wet Student Smell." Warren then got to being all avoidy with Wesley about feeeeeelings, so they talked about classes and vampires, an' other normal things like that instead. And Sam felt it necessary to educate Toby about missed opportunities when he failed to try to pick up some chick after she attempted to steal his food. What is it I said about food-stealin', kids? Don't do it. You don't get picked up.
Deadpool: Yeah, theft is only for those with the skill for it!
Reno: You know, we could almost teach a class on that, yo.
Deadpool: ...that would work. ‘How to Commit Crimes Awesomely’. Hercules was busy balancing an olive on his bicep because there wasn't enough alcohol to keep this party hoppin'. Though Richie was all impressed by it. Because olives on arms are the new in thing, kids. Get started on that. Bobby tossed a tomato at Hercules' head and then got hugged like a wee tiny little Frosty that he is. Last, Pinkie Pie and Stark met and there was talk of parties, cupcakes, parties, music, parties, and parties. Oh god, is Party Cat here?
Reno: I dunno, but you just scared off the squirrels by usin’ the C-word.
Deadpool: PARTYIN’ PARTYIN’
Reno: Yeah?
Deadpool: PARTYIN’ PARTYIN’!
Reno: Yeah.