Fandom Radio, Saturday - March 5th
Deadpool: Goooood mornin’ Fandom. Say good morning, Jan.
Jan: NO! I want cartoons!
Deadpool:That’s Askani for ‘good morning’, folks.
Reno: Yeah? What’s Askani for ‘I’m just here because the squirrels promised booze?’
Jan: I wanna braid his haaaaaair.
Deadpool: Yeah, let’s go with that. She’s been on a hair braiding kick since a certain no good demon showed up in town.
Reno: Hey, I’m down with that, yo. I’m just callin’ first dibs on the rum to make up for it, though.
Deadpool: *sigh* Go for it, Jan. We gots to get our radio on like gangstas. Word.
Jan: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE--
Deadpool: And we’re cutting off her mic now.
Reno: Sounds like a plan. We wanna get started on this? Here, you go, an’ I’ll be over here, havin’ my hair pulled and makin’ certain the rum’s all quality.
Deadpool: Oh, you enjoy it. In the school, Pop Culture learned about Motown music and I swear to god I've see that episode of the Cosby Show. And then they learned an important lesson about how rappers were influenced by Motown and it was all adorable. Lucas Lee was teachin' his kids about how to pander for awards come oscar season. Play someone dying, someone who loves someone who is dying, not be Annette Benning, get naked, be British... the list goes on. They were supposed to make themselves cry to be dramatic. Jan can do that on cue, can'tcha, Jan? She has a juice box and isn't talking to me it seems. Oh, kids these days. Kate offered to kick Nathan to make him cry then spoke French at him as an annoyance. Because the French aren't even people.
Reno: Nah. But whatever they are, they make damn good toast.
Deadpool: You take that back! Their toast is surrendery!
Reno: Yeah? What about their fries?
Deadpool: Those are actually Belgian. I learned that from Alton Brown.
Reno: Huh. And I thought all they had in Belgium was waffles, yo.
Deadpool: And no government! ZING. Over in ye old piracy class talked about how the sea as a whole hates you. Hates your face. So... just learn to deal with it. Hank informed Hook that he was a bad, bad man. No, that's just the mustache. It gets confusing, I know. Percy was all 'um, dolphins don't eat babies' but what does he know? I've seen the trailer to that movie. Sean Bean knows nothing about the ocean. Nothing. Dealing with idiots threw tomatoes at people because that always makes me feel better. Effy noticed that Rilla isn't having fun until they throw things at one of the many Alexs. I'm not sure which. Sadly, he threw it right back at her. Apathy Club met and bitched about missing Hawaii and theeeeen stared at Poccylips for being gremlin bit. Luckily, he had Squall there to act like a big bad man and protect him. Over in the library, Limey read up on empath demons. ...AHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Reno: … There’s a joke in there, and I totally ain’t catchin’ it, zoto. But in other scintillatin' news, Jaina got a phone call in her office, yo.
Deadpool: There is totally a joke in there. Now shut up and get your hair did like a man.
Reno: Jan ain’t even pullin’. I’m actually kinda impressed, here.
Deadpool: In the dorms Ender was being a neeeeeeeerd by watching the History channel in a common room. You should hang out with Nate and nerd it up. I'm sure that would go well! Bod showed up and they talked about work and decompressing and oh god it's boring and nerdy. They shot vampires and made out. Ah, like a bad Scyfy movie. Katniss and her weird ass name were all 'Hey, what's this!' and Ender was all 'This is Greece, bitch'. And then they bonded. Bod was surprised how early she was up and then they talked about hunting and I don't think it was of the ultimate prey. The hobo. Tara was glad that the History Channel wasn't playing something on World War II again and then they had girltalk.
Reno: Girl talk, like, about war? Or about tryin’ to apply their lipstick in camoflage?
Deadpool: That’s how I hope Jan gets to be. Minus all the trauma, of course. And being written by Orson Scott Card. Eesh.
Reno: You never need someone to help her learn about jury-riggin’ up some explosives, I’m sure Rikku’d be happy to babysit her again sometime, yo.
Deadpool: Ooo! That works for me. Katniss asked which one WWII was because she's from crazy land, but it turns out Tara is from the same place as Limey. I did not know that. Whedon, you tricked me again! Bod and Tara talked about oatmeal and witches. Because witches and oatmeal go together like chicken soup and the soul. Gabrielle complained that Greece totally wasn't like that because she was from the special Sam Raimi Greece with Karl Urban being everywhere. Ender assured her it might be an alternate universe. She also talked to Katniss and her funny name all about being a baaaaard.
Reno: Also demonstratin' her impressive ability to make use of modern communications devices, Emma Frost was in her room, firin' off texts and gettin' phone calls. That's some kinda multitaskin' ability there, yo. I'd be more impressed if I thought makin' phone calls was news. Man, I missed this broadcastin' thing. Emma and Jaina ain't the only ones demonstratin' that they know how to use modern technology. Nathan was in his room, sittin' on his bed, listenin' to his iPod, when Caroline came in and they were all quiet at one another until he asked if she was headin' out.
Deadpool: And in town Bod caught up on aaaaall the gossip at Luke's Diner. Like who ordered the egs and who had decaf coffee. Ben was all paranoid about his computer being filled with porn or something. Luckily, his platonic lifemate Ender showed up with food to talk about drunken hijinks and plastic monkeys. Yeah. Let's just leave that there. Tahiri showed up to ask for help getting someone to not visit the island for Parents' Weekend. I suggest mentioning there being no alcohol anywhere. Harper was busy with laaaava lamps like you do. When you're a damn dirty hippie. You hippie. At Caritas, Jessica sulked a lot. Oh, and that Watson guy was in a fabulous mood at the clinic. Must've gotten laid.
Reno: Heeey. The Devil's Nest had its grand opening thingie last night, huh? Daaamn, I might have to swing by there sometime, see how it compares with Caritas, yo. Some guy named Eric was all apprehensive about it, and I'm gonna guess that he's the one in charge? Trust me, man, there ain't nothin' to be apprehensive about when you're openin' a new bar. I know these things. Anyhow, Mitchell wanted beer, because Mitchell is pretty cool like that, and Eric got to talkin' about vampire politics with him, yo. Sounds interestin', anyhow. I mean, if you're into shit like politics. Which I ain't. Work for one President, you've worked for 'em all.
Deadpool: Oh god, they’re invading. Nate. Nate, if you hear this... we need to put a stop to it before this becomes a crossover event.
Reno: Jaina stopped by for a drink, presumably to congratulate herself on workin' the phone in her office earlier, and complimented Eric on what he did with the place. There's somethin' there about her suggestin' half-off vodka shots, too. I'm almost glad he didn't, because damn, I wouldn't have wanted to miss that, yo. Emma, who also knows how to work a phone, told Eric that some of the members of the sorority were gonna stop by, and had to assure him that there wouldn't be no girly squeals. Effy was pretty pleased that the joint ain't got no zombies, and Emma offered her a drink. Probably in person. Drinks over the phone are kinda messed up, yo.
Deadpool: And difficult to accomplish. Unless you don’t like that phone...
Reno: And if you do and you try anyhow, I’m reservin’ the right to laugh at you, yo. Right here on the radio.
Deadpool: Maybe the plan was to drunkdial because that spreads the drunk joy around.
Reno: You know, there’s somethin’ in that logic that I actually like? Kate joined the 'sigh, no alcohol,' club, at least until Eric stopped by to chat and she found out he's from the same place as Sookie. Man, the names here. I know I ain't one to judge, but c'mon, guys. Sookie? Bobby Drake, at least, showed up and demonstrated some good taste, moanin' about how there wasn't a stripper pole, yo. You know, I wanted to see one of them in Caritas, but the more I think about it, all I can picture is the zombies performin' on one of them. Emma was there to help him soothe his stripper-less woes, at least, puttin' cherries in his Coke. I guess that's some kinda beer replacement, these days. Quinn showed up to support Emma, presumably to help her celebrate her mastery of the telephone, and Peter was pretty impressed that the place actually cards. Man, I remember when I first went to a place that carded, yo. Weirdest. Ever. Effy was pretty impressed by Peter's bein' all cheerful, and Peter explained that it was because Emma put her phone-call-powers to good use, invitin' him along to the party, yo. Good for him, seein' as he got a kiss outta Emma for it later, yo.
Deadpool: Go date yourself a ginger and she’ll be aaaaall over you.
Reno: No thanks. Already got plenty of red hair and a cute blonde to myself, yo.
Deadpool: And a three year old ginger who is in love with your hair--Jan, where did you even get those ribbons?
Jan: I got pouches.
Deadpool: ...touche.
Reno: Tie ‘em in good, Jan. It’ll teach you important life skills about the usefulness of knots later, yo. Zoe was all happy to see a new business in town, and Eric explained that he set up on the island because he's a friend of Sookie, yo. Emma was out on the dance floor, showin' off a sparkly dress and tellin' Kate that she was happy to see that she thought the place would be more fun than Kansas, yo. What's a Kansas, anyhow? Whatever it is, I guess it don't have dancin', because Kate went along to do some of that, too. Juliet was on the dance floor too, enjoyin' a fizzy fruit drink, and man... That name's gonna weird me out. Just sayin'. And then some guy named Agent Mannheim stopped by, tellin' Eric that he had some change of address forms to fill out. Ugh, paperwork. You know, there are reasons I spend way less time in my office than I probably should, yo.
Deadpool: I just hide mine in the closet. I feel it adds ambiance to the office that way.
Reno: You got room in there? Or are there weekly bonfires or somethin’ that I ain’t been told about yet?
Deadpool: I call them ‘happy weekend parties’, actually.
Reno: Man, I’m crashin’ your next one. I’ll bring the booze.
Deadpool: And I think that’s all we’ve got, folks. Have a good day with your careers and fairs and whatever else is happening.
[[Mad props to raspberryturk for the assist!]]
Jan: NO! I want cartoons!
Deadpool:That’s Askani for ‘good morning’, folks.
Reno: Yeah? What’s Askani for ‘I’m just here because the squirrels promised booze?’
Jan: I wanna braid his haaaaaair.
Deadpool: Yeah, let’s go with that. She’s been on a hair braiding kick since a certain no good demon showed up in town.
Reno: Hey, I’m down with that, yo. I’m just callin’ first dibs on the rum to make up for it, though.
Deadpool: *sigh* Go for it, Jan. We gots to get our radio on like gangstas. Word.
Jan: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE--
Deadpool: And we’re cutting off her mic now.
Reno: Sounds like a plan. We wanna get started on this? Here, you go, an’ I’ll be over here, havin’ my hair pulled and makin’ certain the rum’s all quality.
Deadpool: Oh, you enjoy it. In the school, Pop Culture learned about Motown music and I swear to god I've see that episode of the Cosby Show. And then they learned an important lesson about how rappers were influenced by Motown and it was all adorable. Lucas Lee was teachin' his kids about how to pander for awards come oscar season. Play someone dying, someone who loves someone who is dying, not be Annette Benning, get naked, be British... the list goes on. They were supposed to make themselves cry to be dramatic. Jan can do that on cue, can'tcha, Jan? She has a juice box and isn't talking to me it seems. Oh, kids these days. Kate offered to kick Nathan to make him cry then spoke French at him as an annoyance. Because the French aren't even people.
Reno: Nah. But whatever they are, they make damn good toast.
Deadpool: You take that back! Their toast is surrendery!
Reno: Yeah? What about their fries?
Deadpool: Those are actually Belgian. I learned that from Alton Brown.
Reno: Huh. And I thought all they had in Belgium was waffles, yo.
Deadpool: And no government! ZING. Over in ye old piracy class talked about how the sea as a whole hates you. Hates your face. So... just learn to deal with it. Hank informed Hook that he was a bad, bad man. No, that's just the mustache. It gets confusing, I know. Percy was all 'um, dolphins don't eat babies' but what does he know? I've seen the trailer to that movie. Sean Bean knows nothing about the ocean. Nothing. Dealing with idiots threw tomatoes at people because that always makes me feel better. Effy noticed that Rilla isn't having fun until they throw things at one of the many Alexs. I'm not sure which. Sadly, he threw it right back at her. Apathy Club met and bitched about missing Hawaii and theeeeen stared at Poccylips for being gremlin bit. Luckily, he had Squall there to act like a big bad man and protect him. Over in the library, Limey read up on empath demons. ...AHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Reno: … There’s a joke in there, and I totally ain’t catchin’ it, zoto. But in other scintillatin' news, Jaina got a phone call in her office, yo.
Deadpool: There is totally a joke in there. Now shut up and get your hair did like a man.
Reno: Jan ain’t even pullin’. I’m actually kinda impressed, here.
Deadpool: In the dorms Ender was being a neeeeeeeerd by watching the History channel in a common room. You should hang out with Nate and nerd it up. I'm sure that would go well! Bod showed up and they talked about work and decompressing and oh god it's boring and nerdy. They shot vampires and made out. Ah, like a bad Scyfy movie. Katniss and her weird ass name were all 'Hey, what's this!' and Ender was all 'This is Greece, bitch'. And then they bonded. Bod was surprised how early she was up and then they talked about hunting and I don't think it was of the ultimate prey. The hobo. Tara was glad that the History Channel wasn't playing something on World War II again and then they had girltalk.
Reno: Girl talk, like, about war? Or about tryin’ to apply their lipstick in camoflage?
Deadpool: That’s how I hope Jan gets to be. Minus all the trauma, of course. And being written by Orson Scott Card. Eesh.
Reno: You never need someone to help her learn about jury-riggin’ up some explosives, I’m sure Rikku’d be happy to babysit her again sometime, yo.
Deadpool: Ooo! That works for me. Katniss asked which one WWII was because she's from crazy land, but it turns out Tara is from the same place as Limey. I did not know that. Whedon, you tricked me again! Bod and Tara talked about oatmeal and witches. Because witches and oatmeal go together like chicken soup and the soul. Gabrielle complained that Greece totally wasn't like that because she was from the special Sam Raimi Greece with Karl Urban being everywhere. Ender assured her it might be an alternate universe. She also talked to Katniss and her funny name all about being a baaaaard.
Reno: Also demonstratin' her impressive ability to make use of modern communications devices, Emma Frost was in her room, firin' off texts and gettin' phone calls. That's some kinda multitaskin' ability there, yo. I'd be more impressed if I thought makin' phone calls was news. Man, I missed this broadcastin' thing. Emma and Jaina ain't the only ones demonstratin' that they know how to use modern technology. Nathan was in his room, sittin' on his bed, listenin' to his iPod, when Caroline came in and they were all quiet at one another until he asked if she was headin' out.
Deadpool: And in town Bod caught up on aaaaall the gossip at Luke's Diner. Like who ordered the egs and who had decaf coffee. Ben was all paranoid about his computer being filled with porn or something. Luckily, his platonic lifemate Ender showed up with food to talk about drunken hijinks and plastic monkeys. Yeah. Let's just leave that there. Tahiri showed up to ask for help getting someone to not visit the island for Parents' Weekend. I suggest mentioning there being no alcohol anywhere. Harper was busy with laaaava lamps like you do. When you're a damn dirty hippie. You hippie. At Caritas, Jessica sulked a lot. Oh, and that Watson guy was in a fabulous mood at the clinic. Must've gotten laid.
Reno: Heeey. The Devil's Nest had its grand opening thingie last night, huh? Daaamn, I might have to swing by there sometime, see how it compares with Caritas, yo. Some guy named Eric was all apprehensive about it, and I'm gonna guess that he's the one in charge? Trust me, man, there ain't nothin' to be apprehensive about when you're openin' a new bar. I know these things. Anyhow, Mitchell wanted beer, because Mitchell is pretty cool like that, and Eric got to talkin' about vampire politics with him, yo. Sounds interestin', anyhow. I mean, if you're into shit like politics. Which I ain't. Work for one President, you've worked for 'em all.
Deadpool: Oh god, they’re invading. Nate. Nate, if you hear this... we need to put a stop to it before this becomes a crossover event.
Reno: Jaina stopped by for a drink, presumably to congratulate herself on workin' the phone in her office earlier, and complimented Eric on what he did with the place. There's somethin' there about her suggestin' half-off vodka shots, too. I'm almost glad he didn't, because damn, I wouldn't have wanted to miss that, yo. Emma, who also knows how to work a phone, told Eric that some of the members of the sorority were gonna stop by, and had to assure him that there wouldn't be no girly squeals. Effy was pretty pleased that the joint ain't got no zombies, and Emma offered her a drink. Probably in person. Drinks over the phone are kinda messed up, yo.
Deadpool: And difficult to accomplish. Unless you don’t like that phone...
Reno: And if you do and you try anyhow, I’m reservin’ the right to laugh at you, yo. Right here on the radio.
Deadpool: Maybe the plan was to drunkdial because that spreads the drunk joy around.
Reno: You know, there’s somethin’ in that logic that I actually like? Kate joined the 'sigh, no alcohol,' club, at least until Eric stopped by to chat and she found out he's from the same place as Sookie. Man, the names here. I know I ain't one to judge, but c'mon, guys. Sookie? Bobby Drake, at least, showed up and demonstrated some good taste, moanin' about how there wasn't a stripper pole, yo. You know, I wanted to see one of them in Caritas, but the more I think about it, all I can picture is the zombies performin' on one of them. Emma was there to help him soothe his stripper-less woes, at least, puttin' cherries in his Coke. I guess that's some kinda beer replacement, these days. Quinn showed up to support Emma, presumably to help her celebrate her mastery of the telephone, and Peter was pretty impressed that the place actually cards. Man, I remember when I first went to a place that carded, yo. Weirdest. Ever. Effy was pretty impressed by Peter's bein' all cheerful, and Peter explained that it was because Emma put her phone-call-powers to good use, invitin' him along to the party, yo. Good for him, seein' as he got a kiss outta Emma for it later, yo.
Deadpool: Go date yourself a ginger and she’ll be aaaaall over you.
Reno: No thanks. Already got plenty of red hair and a cute blonde to myself, yo.
Deadpool: And a three year old ginger who is in love with your hair--Jan, where did you even get those ribbons?
Jan: I got pouches.
Deadpool: ...touche.
Reno: Tie ‘em in good, Jan. It’ll teach you important life skills about the usefulness of knots later, yo. Zoe was all happy to see a new business in town, and Eric explained that he set up on the island because he's a friend of Sookie, yo. Emma was out on the dance floor, showin' off a sparkly dress and tellin' Kate that she was happy to see that she thought the place would be more fun than Kansas, yo. What's a Kansas, anyhow? Whatever it is, I guess it don't have dancin', because Kate went along to do some of that, too. Juliet was on the dance floor too, enjoyin' a fizzy fruit drink, and man... That name's gonna weird me out. Just sayin'. And then some guy named Agent Mannheim stopped by, tellin' Eric that he had some change of address forms to fill out. Ugh, paperwork. You know, there are reasons I spend way less time in my office than I probably should, yo.
Deadpool: I just hide mine in the closet. I feel it adds ambiance to the office that way.
Reno: You got room in there? Or are there weekly bonfires or somethin’ that I ain’t been told about yet?
Deadpool: I call them ‘happy weekend parties’, actually.
Reno: Man, I’m crashin’ your next one. I’ll bring the booze.
Deadpool: And I think that’s all we’ve got, folks. Have a good day with your careers and fairs and whatever else is happening.
[[Mad props to raspberryturk for the assist!]]