I've hit new depths.
I be pinch hitting for kyuuketsukirui tonight, using fics from her index found here, for the fandom_mashup challenge. Each individual title doesn’t have its own link, kinda like my own site. SO GO READ HER STUFF ALTOGETHER. It’s quite kewl. :))
Fics used for this here mashup: “Unexpected Consequences” by kyuuketsukirui, “The Kind of Question” by kyuuketsukirui, and “A Miracle Baby” by kyuuketsukirui.
This is written in the style of “The Miracle Baby”, seeing as I just read it aloud to my husband, laughing my arse off. Jesus, kyuuketsukirui... too funny...
That’s the only justification for this story. It’s a bit condensed... er, not that it really matters... I hope I don't insult anyone.
Dom was really worried. Since the big sex orgy he and Lij and Billy and Orli had four days ago Lij had done nothing but eat. Bowls with bright orange traces lay all around Lij, and lots of crumbs were all over the floor everywhere. Dom walked in from working on his new movie and found Lij licking one of the bowls. “Lij, are you okay?” he asked. He was very concerned.
“Yes Dom, I’m fine,” Lij said. His eyes were very aquamarine as he looked up at Dom. “I’ve felt really, really good since the orgy,”
Dom smiled, feeling very happy. He was glad Lij joined them in the orgy, because he’d wanted to have sex with him for a long time. He was worried because Lij was very frail and tiny, and wasn’t sure if he could handle it. But it was okay. He thought he loved him, too. ‘How is this possible?’ he thought.
Lij suddenly grabbed his stomach and stood up quickly. Dom gasped as Lij ran from the room and heard him getting sick in the bathroom. ‘Oh no, he’s sick!’ he thought. He ran in just as Lij was sitting back on the floor, looking very sick.
“I think I ate too much,” Lij said as Dom brought a glass of water to him.
“I think you did too. But we should maybe go to the hospital.”
“Okay.”
Dom carried Lij to the car and drove to the hospital. He had called Billy and Orli too, and they met them down there. Orli called for a doctor when they walked in, and one came right over. “Take him into this room, and I’ll give him an examination.”
Dom nodded and brought him to the room, laying him on a bed, his small body feeling light. Lij groaned and looked like he was going to cry. His big blue eyes gazed up at Dom. “I don’t want to die,” he said, sniffling. Dom held his hand and cried too. Orli and Billy waited outside for the news.
The doctor came in after a few minutes and examined Lij. When he was done giving him x-rays he sighed. “It looks like you’re pregnant,” he said. “I don’t know how, but you are.”
Dom felt his heart pound. Pregnant?? ‘How is that possible?’ he thought. “That’s impossible!” he said. The doctor nodded.
“He is though, and there’s something else.” The doctor said. “He is an alien.”
Dom cried out and fainted on the floor. Lij gasped. Orli and Billy heard Dom’s yell and ran in, crying out and trying to help him up.
“It can’t be MINE, I wore a condom!” Dom said, fiddling his thumbs.
“I pulled out before I came in him, it CAN’T be mine,” Orli said. Dom glared.
“Then it HAS to be Billy!” he yelled. Billy gasped.
“It wasn’t me! I fell asleep!”
“That was AFTER you made love to Lij!” Dom said.
“PLEASE, stop fighting!” Lij cried out. Everyone looked over at him. Dom shook his head and felt tears in his eyes.
“Why didn’t you tell us you were an alien, Lij? That’s so weird!” Dom said. ‘How is this possible?’ he thought.
“I was afraid no one would love me if I told!” Lij yelled and cried. His sea-blue eyes dripped silver tears over his face. “I’m just like you guys, but I can have babies! I forgot about that!”
“That’s so weird!” Orli said. He walked over to Lij and looked at him really close. “You look just like a person.”
“I AM a person, I’m a boy but I can have babies,” Lij said. Dom walked over and put his hands on Lij’s shoulders.
“It’s okay. I won’t leave you even if the baby isn’t mine.”
“And you have my word too,” Orli said.
“And my word too,” Billy said. Lij smiled.
“This is just like when we all played in ‘The Fellowship of the Ring’ and I was Frodo and everyone said they would go with me to Mordor!” Lij said. Everyone laughed.
Dom came home from the grocery store with three big bags of macaroni and cheese. He didn’t have to get any more Tim Tams or Madeira cake because Orli had gotten those this morning. It made things easier because Dom was tired from carrying the macaroni and cheese.
Orli was doing laundry and Billy was reading a book to Lij’s belly. It was so sweet that the baby had four fathers. Even if it wasn’t Dom’s baby, Dom knew he would stay here with everyone and that way the baby would have lots of family. Orli and Billy said they’d do the same, because everyone was in love with Lij. He was so delicate and cute, sitting and giggling about ‘Runaway Bunny’. “On B’h-zhrat, we have Forfulls instead of bunnies, but they’re the same,” Lij said and laughed.
Dom made the macaroni and cheese. Orli came in with a basket of laundry and put it on the table to fold. “I’m so glad we’re sharing Lij, even if he’s an alien. It almost makes me love him more.”
“I know, his home planet sounds so nice.” Dom nodded feeling happy. “Maybe... no, it’s no possible.”
“What?” Orli said. Dom sighed.
“Maybe we should see if we can take a visit there. There must be a way to see his family from B’h-zhrat,” Dom said. Orli cheered.
“Yes! We should, that’s such a great idea!” he looked so happy. “Lij! Is there any way we could go visit your planet?”
Lij sighed, his giant orbs of blue filling with tears. “It blew up, years ago. That’s why me and my family came here,”
“Oh no!” Billy said, putting down the book on the floor. He kissed Lij on the nose and cooed. “You poor thing!”
“I didn’t want to say anything, because I don’t like to think about it,” Lij said. Orli and Dom went into the room and sat down, and everyone hugged Lij.
“After I make the macaroni and cheese, we should all kiss each other,” Dom said.
“Maybe have another orgy!” Billy said. Orli was mad.
“But Lij is pregnant! We can’t have sex with him!”
“Yes you can, it’s okay. I’ll be okay,” Lij said and smiled. Dom finished making the macaroni and cheese and they ate it, then went into the bedroom. He lit lots of candles and put them around the room. Orli took off everyone’s pants and they rolled around on the bed. Finally Dom got to Lij while Orli and Billy were kissing, and he kissed him too.
“I love you, Lij.” He said.
“I love you too,” Elijah said too. Dom smiled and pushed his manliness into Lij, and they made love. Lij loved it, crying out how much he loved Dom.
Two days later, Lij got even MORE sick than before. Everyone was very scared because he was even more delicate than ever, and his belly was hurting he said. Dom carried him to the car again and they went to the hospital.
The doctor met them at the door and the four of them went into the room to have Lij examined. After more x-rays the doctor nodded. “There’s two MORE babies in his stomach,” he said.
They went home after being so shocked. Lij told them that he’d forgotten that he could have MORE babies if he had sex more than once in a week. But now they were happy.
“Maybe it means that we’re ALL going to be real fathers!” Orli said. Dom smiled wide. ‘How is this possible?’ he thought.
“Yes! Because I can only get pregnant with one person at a time, so it must be true! We’re ALL going to be daddies!”
They all decided to celebrate by having lots of kissing, but no more sex since Lij was even more delicate than before. Dom cradled his small body in his lap and kissed him on the lips. “I love you even more now, Lij, because I’m really going to be a daddy,”
“I know. I’m so happy,” Lij said while crying a lot.
After they were all done kissing each other, Orli got them all Madeira cake. They all ate and laughed as crumbs got everywhere on the sheets.
Only five days later, Lij grabbed his stomach. “Oh no, I forgot,” he said. Orli rushed to his side, Dom and Billy were on the couch watching TV.
“What? What is it?” Billy asked.
“My alien race makes babies in two weeks,” Lij said. Dom sat up and panicked, grabbing everything he could to put in bags. ‘How is this possible?’ he thought.
They all drove to the hospital and got Lij in a room. The doctor walked in and did more x-rays and said the babies were just fine. “We’re going to take the babies out with a C-section,” he said, giving Lij some pills. “Take these and we’ll operate soon.”
Lij took them and was sleeping a bit later. Dom and Billy and Orli waited with him, Dom was holding his hand, Billy was holding the other hand and Orli was holding Lij’s shoulders. The other doctors and nurses came in and did the operation. Dom was very scared because Lij was so small and he worried that him and the babies would be hurt. But after the babies came out they sewed Lij back up, and Lij woke up and looked around.
“Is everything... okay? Are the babies okay?” he asked. The nurse smiled and walked over with the babies. Everyone gasped as Lij took them, who cried because he was so happy. “Oh! Dom, this one is yours!” Lij said, handing him a boy baby with a funny nose. Looking to another baby he waited until she cooed. “Billy, this one is yours! She has your accent!” he said, handing Billy his baby. “And Orli, this one is yours; he’s got nice dark hair like you,”
They all stood around Lij holding the babies and crying. They were all so happy with their alien babies, and with Lij. They would be good fathers to the babies.
Fics used for this here mashup: “Unexpected Consequences” by kyuuketsukirui, “The Kind of Question” by kyuuketsukirui, and “A Miracle Baby” by kyuuketsukirui.
This is written in the style of “The Miracle Baby”, seeing as I just read it aloud to my husband, laughing my arse off. Jesus, kyuuketsukirui... too funny...
That’s the only justification for this story. It’s a bit condensed... er, not that it really matters... I hope I don't insult anyone.
Dom was really worried. Since the big sex orgy he and Lij and Billy and Orli had four days ago Lij had done nothing but eat. Bowls with bright orange traces lay all around Lij, and lots of crumbs were all over the floor everywhere. Dom walked in from working on his new movie and found Lij licking one of the bowls. “Lij, are you okay?” he asked. He was very concerned.
“Yes Dom, I’m fine,” Lij said. His eyes were very aquamarine as he looked up at Dom. “I’ve felt really, really good since the orgy,”
Dom smiled, feeling very happy. He was glad Lij joined them in the orgy, because he’d wanted to have sex with him for a long time. He was worried because Lij was very frail and tiny, and wasn’t sure if he could handle it. But it was okay. He thought he loved him, too. ‘How is this possible?’ he thought.
Lij suddenly grabbed his stomach and stood up quickly. Dom gasped as Lij ran from the room and heard him getting sick in the bathroom. ‘Oh no, he’s sick!’ he thought. He ran in just as Lij was sitting back on the floor, looking very sick.
“I think I ate too much,” Lij said as Dom brought a glass of water to him.
“I think you did too. But we should maybe go to the hospital.”
“Okay.”
Dom carried Lij to the car and drove to the hospital. He had called Billy and Orli too, and they met them down there. Orli called for a doctor when they walked in, and one came right over. “Take him into this room, and I’ll give him an examination.”
Dom nodded and brought him to the room, laying him on a bed, his small body feeling light. Lij groaned and looked like he was going to cry. His big blue eyes gazed up at Dom. “I don’t want to die,” he said, sniffling. Dom held his hand and cried too. Orli and Billy waited outside for the news.
The doctor came in after a few minutes and examined Lij. When he was done giving him x-rays he sighed. “It looks like you’re pregnant,” he said. “I don’t know how, but you are.”
Dom felt his heart pound. Pregnant?? ‘How is that possible?’ he thought. “That’s impossible!” he said. The doctor nodded.
“He is though, and there’s something else.” The doctor said. “He is an alien.”
Dom cried out and fainted on the floor. Lij gasped. Orli and Billy heard Dom’s yell and ran in, crying out and trying to help him up.
“It can’t be MINE, I wore a condom!” Dom said, fiddling his thumbs.
“I pulled out before I came in him, it CAN’T be mine,” Orli said. Dom glared.
“Then it HAS to be Billy!” he yelled. Billy gasped.
“It wasn’t me! I fell asleep!”
“That was AFTER you made love to Lij!” Dom said.
“PLEASE, stop fighting!” Lij cried out. Everyone looked over at him. Dom shook his head and felt tears in his eyes.
“Why didn’t you tell us you were an alien, Lij? That’s so weird!” Dom said. ‘How is this possible?’ he thought.
“I was afraid no one would love me if I told!” Lij yelled and cried. His sea-blue eyes dripped silver tears over his face. “I’m just like you guys, but I can have babies! I forgot about that!”
“That’s so weird!” Orli said. He walked over to Lij and looked at him really close. “You look just like a person.”
“I AM a person, I’m a boy but I can have babies,” Lij said. Dom walked over and put his hands on Lij’s shoulders.
“It’s okay. I won’t leave you even if the baby isn’t mine.”
“And you have my word too,” Orli said.
“And my word too,” Billy said. Lij smiled.
“This is just like when we all played in ‘The Fellowship of the Ring’ and I was Frodo and everyone said they would go with me to Mordor!” Lij said. Everyone laughed.
Dom came home from the grocery store with three big bags of macaroni and cheese. He didn’t have to get any more Tim Tams or Madeira cake because Orli had gotten those this morning. It made things easier because Dom was tired from carrying the macaroni and cheese.
Orli was doing laundry and Billy was reading a book to Lij’s belly. It was so sweet that the baby had four fathers. Even if it wasn’t Dom’s baby, Dom knew he would stay here with everyone and that way the baby would have lots of family. Orli and Billy said they’d do the same, because everyone was in love with Lij. He was so delicate and cute, sitting and giggling about ‘Runaway Bunny’. “On B’h-zhrat, we have Forfulls instead of bunnies, but they’re the same,” Lij said and laughed.
Dom made the macaroni and cheese. Orli came in with a basket of laundry and put it on the table to fold. “I’m so glad we’re sharing Lij, even if he’s an alien. It almost makes me love him more.”
“I know, his home planet sounds so nice.” Dom nodded feeling happy. “Maybe... no, it’s no possible.”
“What?” Orli said. Dom sighed.
“Maybe we should see if we can take a visit there. There must be a way to see his family from B’h-zhrat,” Dom said. Orli cheered.
“Yes! We should, that’s such a great idea!” he looked so happy. “Lij! Is there any way we could go visit your planet?”
Lij sighed, his giant orbs of blue filling with tears. “It blew up, years ago. That’s why me and my family came here,”
“Oh no!” Billy said, putting down the book on the floor. He kissed Lij on the nose and cooed. “You poor thing!”
“I didn’t want to say anything, because I don’t like to think about it,” Lij said. Orli and Dom went into the room and sat down, and everyone hugged Lij.
“After I make the macaroni and cheese, we should all kiss each other,” Dom said.
“Maybe have another orgy!” Billy said. Orli was mad.
“But Lij is pregnant! We can’t have sex with him!”
“Yes you can, it’s okay. I’ll be okay,” Lij said and smiled. Dom finished making the macaroni and cheese and they ate it, then went into the bedroom. He lit lots of candles and put them around the room. Orli took off everyone’s pants and they rolled around on the bed. Finally Dom got to Lij while Orli and Billy were kissing, and he kissed him too.
“I love you, Lij.” He said.
“I love you too,” Elijah said too. Dom smiled and pushed his manliness into Lij, and they made love. Lij loved it, crying out how much he loved Dom.
Two days later, Lij got even MORE sick than before. Everyone was very scared because he was even more delicate than ever, and his belly was hurting he said. Dom carried him to the car again and they went to the hospital.
The doctor met them at the door and the four of them went into the room to have Lij examined. After more x-rays the doctor nodded. “There’s two MORE babies in his stomach,” he said.
They went home after being so shocked. Lij told them that he’d forgotten that he could have MORE babies if he had sex more than once in a week. But now they were happy.
“Maybe it means that we’re ALL going to be real fathers!” Orli said. Dom smiled wide. ‘How is this possible?’ he thought.
“Yes! Because I can only get pregnant with one person at a time, so it must be true! We’re ALL going to be daddies!”
They all decided to celebrate by having lots of kissing, but no more sex since Lij was even more delicate than before. Dom cradled his small body in his lap and kissed him on the lips. “I love you even more now, Lij, because I’m really going to be a daddy,”
“I know. I’m so happy,” Lij said while crying a lot.
After they were all done kissing each other, Orli got them all Madeira cake. They all ate and laughed as crumbs got everywhere on the sheets.
Only five days later, Lij grabbed his stomach. “Oh no, I forgot,” he said. Orli rushed to his side, Dom and Billy were on the couch watching TV.
“What? What is it?” Billy asked.
“My alien race makes babies in two weeks,” Lij said. Dom sat up and panicked, grabbing everything he could to put in bags. ‘How is this possible?’ he thought.
They all drove to the hospital and got Lij in a room. The doctor walked in and did more x-rays and said the babies were just fine. “We’re going to take the babies out with a C-section,” he said, giving Lij some pills. “Take these and we’ll operate soon.”
Lij took them and was sleeping a bit later. Dom and Billy and Orli waited with him, Dom was holding his hand, Billy was holding the other hand and Orli was holding Lij’s shoulders. The other doctors and nurses came in and did the operation. Dom was very scared because Lij was so small and he worried that him and the babies would be hurt. But after the babies came out they sewed Lij back up, and Lij woke up and looked around.
“Is everything... okay? Are the babies okay?” he asked. The nurse smiled and walked over with the babies. Everyone gasped as Lij took them, who cried because he was so happy. “Oh! Dom, this one is yours!” Lij said, handing him a boy baby with a funny nose. Looking to another baby he waited until she cooed. “Billy, this one is yours! She has your accent!” he said, handing Billy his baby. “And Orli, this one is yours; he’s got nice dark hair like you,”
They all stood around Lij holding the babies and crying. They were all so happy with their alien babies, and with Lij. They would be good fathers to the babies.