Seras had tried the whole 'sleep' thing, but the bad dreams and intermittant nosebleeds had nixed that. She lay in the clinic bed, doing her best to follow Stark's instructions and not move her head. This pretty much limited her actions to staring at the ceiling and thinking.
Her train of thought circled around two topics: a) What the ghost had said to her at the campfire on Saturday and b) how everyone was supposed to 'take care of eachother' in fandom and how she'd failed rather spectacularly at that.
Seras squeezed her eyes shut. She'd already counted every crack on the blasted ceiling, anyhow.
Walter had handwavily asked around and found out that Seras was still in the clinic. He found his way in past the nurse with a handful of books including a crossword puzzle book.
"I don't know," she said, looking down at her hands, "No one's really told me what's wrong with me. But, I'm still dizzy when I move and my nose still bleeds, so..."
She shrugged again.
"How are you?" she asked, looking up, "And everyone else?"
"I'm alright. Joxer was slapped around by a tentacle a bit, but I saw him at the bar last night, so I have to assume he's not too badly hurt." He pulled up a guest chair and sat down. "Nadia dislocated her shoulder, but Pippi wasn't hurt. We took care of the demon, though. No more false ghosts."
"Yeah, those were..." she shuddered, "That's why I'm in here. A ghost distracted me long enough for one of those tentacles to...flip me in the air and knock me out, I guess."
"Your ghost, and mine, and all the others were just things the demon created to make us hurt or angry or distracted," Walter said earnestly, needing to believe that for himself. "You can't give it that sort of power, even if it is destroyed."
"I wish I could believe that," said Seras, "But, just because I don't want something to be true doesn't mean that it isn't. I mean...would these ghosts have been able to affect us so much if there hadn't been a grain of truth at the centre of them?"
Seras bit her lip. This was difficult, but she wanted very much to explain herself. To have someone see and understand and not just be reassuring her to be 'nice'.
"The ghost that that demon chose to show me was one of the men who killed my parents. It told me that it didn't need to be a ghost to haunt me. Because it was basically with me every day. And, so much of what I am now is because of what happened to my family. I...If I'm honest with myself, I can't say that that's entirely a lie."
Her train of thought circled around two topics: a) What the ghost had said to her at the campfire on Saturday and b) how everyone was supposed to 'take care of eachother' in fandom and how she'd failed rather spectacularly at that.
Seras squeezed her eyes shut. She'd already counted every crack on the blasted ceiling, anyhow.
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"How are you feeling?"
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"Oh...hi," she said, doing her best to sit up.
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"I heard you were here. How much longer before you get out?"
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"I don't know," she said, looking down at her hands, "No one's really told me what's wrong with me. But, I'm still dizzy when I move and my nose still bleeds, so..."
She shrugged again.
"How are you?" she asked, looking up, "And everyone else?"
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"Yeah, those were..." she shuddered, "That's why I'm in here. A ghost distracted me long enough for one of those tentacles to...flip me in the air and knock me out, I guess."
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Finally, he said, "I don't know if it is any consolation, but I had almost the same thing happen to me."
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"'Almost' being the operative word," she said with a smile, "I can't quite see an over-grown squid getting the better of you, Walter."
She cleared her throat.
"Your ghost? Are you still thinking about what it said to you?"
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He nodded shortly in answer to her question, but said nothing.
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"Me too," she said quietly, "I didn't have much to do, yesterday, apart from think and...I think what my ghost said to me...might've been right."
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Seras bit her lip. This was difficult, but she wanted very much to explain herself. To have someone see and understand and not just be reassuring her to be 'nice'.
"The ghost that that demon chose to show me was one of the men who killed my parents. It told me that it didn't need to be a ghost to haunt me. Because it was basically with me every day. And, so much of what I am now is because of what happened to my family. I...If I'm honest with myself, I can't say that that's entirely a lie."
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