Hiatus Survival: Week Thirty
*bows head in silence*
SEVEN DAYS. ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY ONE (ISH) HOURS. GUYS.
GUYS.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? THIS WEEK IS OUR FIRST, AND LAST HIATUS SURVIVAL POST OF 2009. BECAUSE - WE HAVE SURVIVED THE HIATUS. THIS TIME NEXT WEEK WE WILL BE GATHERING HERE NOT FOR HIATUS SURVIVAL, BUT FOR THE BRAND NEW SHINEY HIGH HOLY FLAIL FRIDAYS, IN WHICH WE ANTICIPATE, SQUEE AND FLAIL!DISCUSS THAT WEEK'S SHOW. WE WILL META EACH WEEK.
META!
NO, NOT ABOUT WHO THE FINAL CYLON IS, OR IF LAURA IS REALLY THE DYING LEADER OR ANY OF THAT UNIMPORTANT CRAP - WE WILL META ABOUT THE GOOD STUFF.
WHERE DID ROSLIN AND ADAMA SNEAK OFF TO FRAK THAT EPISODE. DESCRIPTIONS OF SAID FRAKKING ARE ~MANDATORY~. BUT I'M GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF. THAT'S NEXT WEEK, AND FOR NOW, WE SHOULD SAVOR AND ENJOY OUR LAST HIATUS SURVIVAL POST EVAR.
*HUGS EVERYONE*
HONESTLY, I WANT TO TAKE A MOMENT (IN CAPSLOCK) TO THANK EVERY ONE OF YOU THAT POST WITH US ON FRIDAYS. YOU BITCHES ARE FRAKKING AWESOME - AND HONESTLY, YOU MADE THE HIATUS MORE THAN JUST SURVIVABLE, YOU MADE IT FUN. WE'VE HAD SOME GREAT MOMENTS - FROM THE FLAILSPLOSION OVER WET!MARY TO THE NEVER ENDING WAIT FOR THE PROMO, TO THE ABSOLUTE INSANITY WHEN SAID PROMO WAS FINALLY GIVEN TO US - WE'VE HAD A GOOD RUN. WE STARTED THIS BACK IN JUNE, MOSTLY JUST AS A WAY TO KEEP OURSELVES EXCITED AND HYPED AOUT 4.5, AND BECAUSE WE KNEW WE COULDN'T MAKE IT THROUGH ALONE. WE NEVER EVER EXPECTED TO GET AS MANY WATCHERS AS WE DID - OR TO HAVE AS MANY REGULARS AS WE DO. WE'VE MADE SOME GREAT FRIENDS OUT OF THIS - WHICH IS FRANKLY, FRAKKING AWESOME. SO THANK YOU GUYS - FOR JOINING US EVERY DAMN WEEK, AND FLAILING AND WRITING FIC WHEN WE BEGGED YOU TO, AND BEGGING US FOR PORN WHEN IT WAS NEEDED. AND WE HOPE YOU JOIN US NEXT FRIDAY FOR OUR FIRST FLAIL POST ABOUT AN ACTUAL EPISODE.
AND ACTUALE NEW EPISODE!!!! SQUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111111
OKAY, SO LISTEN - I HAD TO FINISH THE PICSPAM OF EPIC EPICNESS WHICH MEANS I SPENT ABOUT FIVE HOURS WORKING ON THIS YESTERDAY LOL - SO SADLY, THERE WAS NO TIME TO DO THE WHAT THE FRAK LIST IN FANDOM. BUT I'LL COVER THE SQUEESPLODEY HIGHLIGHTS, MKAY?
DVD EXTRAS: THEY'VE BEEN POSTED OVER AT YOUTUBE, AND ARE EPICALLY EPICALLY AWESOME.
Click to viewTHE MUSIC OF BSG. ONLY PART TWO HAD MARY AND EDDIE, BUT THE OTHER PARTS WERE AWESOME TOO LOL.
THE JOURNAEY OF BSG - THIS ONE MADE ME CRY, OKAY? I AM A WEAK, SAD CRIER AND EVERYTIME THEY DO A VIDEO ABOUT HOW EVERYONE FEELS ABOUT IT BEING THE FINAL SEASON - I CRY, OKAY? STOP JUDGING ME. *SOBS* OH, AND ALSO, THERE ARE 4.5 SCENES IN THIS, SO SPOILER FREE, STAY AWAY.
HAHA, I KIND OF LOVE THAT EDDIE IS THE STILL SHOT ON BOTH VIDS. GOOD CHOICE, YOUTUBE!
AND OF COURSE, THE FLAILIEST OF THE FLAIL - THE NEW AUDIO CLUE OVER AT YWKTT.COM - YEAH I THINK WE HAVE ALLLL HEARD THIS, UNLESS YOU'RE SPOILER FREE, IN WHICH CASE, STAY STRONG AND TRUST US WHEN WE SAY THIS? IS GONNA BE FUCKING AMAZING ON SCREEN. FUCKING AMAZING.
THOSE BE THE HIGHLIGHTS. AND NOW ON TO THE FINAL AND MOST EPIC SIX EPISODE PICSPAM OF 2009. (FYI I WILL BE PICSPAMMING THE NEW EPS AS THEY AIR - SO THERE WILL BE NO PICSPAM NEXT WEEK, BUT THE WEEK AFTER I WILL RETROACTIVELY PICSPAM THE PREVIOUS WEEK'S EPS.)
LAURA: Hay. Cool funeral, really sad.
BILL: I know right?
LAURA: Blah, blah, blah - listen. I totally figured out what PWP means, you naughty boy - and I found some. And by some I mean TONS. Any luck on the Ron sitch?
BILL: No. Frakker is never in his office. Plus he filed a restraining order. Stupid mother frakker.
LAURA: Crap. Okay, well we’ll have to come up with something. I mean, it’s not like he’ll never write us alone scenes, right?
BILL: ....
LAURA: Agree with me before I stab someone Bill.
BILL: Er.. right? Totally as soon as we get an alone scene - we are sexing it up.
BILL: Hay. Look what I had Gaeta do. Print up all that PWP you found, and he even put a fake cover on it! ‘Searider Falcon’ heh. Like THAT doesn’t sound dirty.
LAURA: OMGS that is fantastic! Poor Gaeta though - was he embarrassed?
BILL: Eh, he’s not really into the het PWP if you know what I’m sayin’.
LAURA: Rly?! Gaeta?!!
....
Actually, you know what, I can totally see it now. Wow.
LAURA: Anyway - I am super excited about this. We can go read it now! In your quarters. Where we will be ALONE. I hope you cleared your schedule.
BILL: Um...
BILL: IDK how to tell you this....
LAURA: What? We ARE going to your place, right?
BILL: Stop calling it that, it’s home, we both live there.
LAURA: In order for us both to live there we’d have to LIVE there. We’re there, but it ain’t living.
BILL: There’s a big thing with Baltar and he’s in jail, and your kind of supposed to go see him.
LAURA: Baltar? I HATE that guy!
BILL: I know, but you know - you’re the President.
LAURA: Godsdammit, I wore the boob shirt and everything!
BILL: And it’s much appreciated.
LAURA: Fine, I’m going. But I SWEAR you’d better be here when I get back - with some chapters pre-selected.
BILL: ... I’ll try.
LAURA: Try HARD Bill.
BILL: Hardness is so not even the issue. Go kick Baltar’s ass quick before the Klaxons go off.
LAURA: Why Bill, I thought you had more staying power than that. *giggles*
BILL: The ACTUAL Klaxons, woman - go be Presidential and get your fine ass back here and I’ll show you just how long it takes to get me to Condition One.
LAURA: And then suddenly there was a Quorum meeting in the script, and Lee’s lines were just ridiculous, and annoying. What’d he write for you?
BILL: Had to demote Tyrol.
LAURA: That’s it?
BILL: Well, it was at Joe’s. And Tyrol kind of roundaboutly implied that you and I are... well, you know. So that was nice. But then he started calling his dead wife names, and I had to demote him.
LAURA: For frak’s sake - is he never gonna let us be alone?
BILL: Well,-
LAURA: Now so doesn’t count, because I am barely restraining my urge to vomit. The Diloxin isn’t helping either.
BILL: How about a little ‘Searider Falcon’?
LAURA: I love you.
BILL: Again, pretending that didn’t just happen.
BILL: Okay, we’ll start with ‘Shadow Puppets’ -
BILL: “She almost doesn’t realize her own fingers have slipped inside her until they hit a spot that has her gasping. Whether it’s that sound or knowing what caused it or just frakking inevitability-something’s weakened his resolve. His hand squeezes her thigh before lifting, slowing only long enough on its ascent to caress her knuckles before settling above hers, and a growled curse rumbles against her shoulder blade when he discovers there’s nothing else in his way.”
LAURA: *squirms* Good Gods that sounds delightful.
BILL: .....
LAURA: Bill? Are you picturing this?
BILL: *strangled sound*
LAURA: You’ll see it for real, you know. Soon.
BILL: How soon?
RON: 2009!!!!
BILL & LAURA: FRAK YOU RON!!!
LAURA: SO I had this nightmare. In it, Ron punished us for reading the smut by writing an entire episode with us not in it.
BILL: That sort of happened.
LAURA: And then - we didn’t get ANY scenes together once we were back-
BILL: That happened too.
LAURA: It was horrible. Even the awesome scene he wrote for me didn’t make up for it, since we all know I’ll never get an Emmy nod since those Emmy people are morons.
BILL: Or Cylons.
BILL: This sucks.
LAURA: But Bill... we’re alone now.
BILL: OMGS. We are aren’t we?
BILL: What’re you wearing under the bathrobe?
LAURA: *giggles* Why don’t you come over here and find out?
*fade to black*
LAURA & BILL: GODSDAMMIT MOORE!!!
BILL: *writes note* Okay I know we’re in a super serious, life altering meeting right now - but sthng needs to be done about the Ron sitch. *hands to Laura*
LAURA: Totally, IKR? Blah, blah blah joining forces with the Cylons - Bill I swear to Gods if I don’t have some sex soon, someone is going to die. And since Ron is proving elusive, it may just be this chick.
BILL: After the op, babe. Listen, how about we meet at our place later, and we can ‘discuss’ this.
LAURA: I am so there. But it’ll have to be later because this whole plan thing looks like it’ll be taking up most our day.
BILL: Tru fax. Hay, do you find those significant glances everyone keeps exchanging somewhat awkward. Like, what’s that about?
LAURA: Oh Tory is probably just sleeping with Tigh. She IS a major slut, you know. The frakking whore.
BILL: You’re just jealous she’s getting some.
LAURA: Totally. Oh okay, meeting’s almost over. I’ll see you at your place later.
NAKED.
LAURA: This is SO NOT how I pictured it.
BILL: I know, I know. I’m sorry - but we’ve got to deal with these Cylons and the final five and -
LAURA: Save it.
BILL: This will all be over tomorrow, and we can meet up then.
TIGH: So what do we do about the Cylons?
LAURA: We lie, help them destroy the Hub and then airlock the lot of them.
TIGH: Well, that seems a bit harsh -
LAURA: And we find out who the five are. And airlock them too.
TIGH: Don’t you think-
LAURA: I HAVE NOT HAD SEX IN OVER FOUR YEARS TIGH. YOU REALLY WANNA ARGUE WITH ME?
TIGH: Frakking Ron Moore. Bet an airlock is gonna hurt too. Dammit.
LAURA: Stupid dreams. Thank goodness I brought the smut to read on the ride. I can’t frakking wait until this stupid Hub is destroyed so we can finally get it on.
RON: hehehehehehehehehehe....
*baseship jumps*
BILL: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!!!
BILL; THAT IS IT. I AM FRAKKING DONE WITH FOLLOWING YOUR FRAKKING SCRIPTS MOORE. ATHENA? YEAH SHE’S GOING IN THE BRIG. DIDN’T EXPECT THAT, DID YOU BITCH? BILL’S IN CHARGE NOW. FRAK YOU.
BILL: BET YOU DIDN’T EXPECT ME TO BEAT ON TIGH EITHER HUH? NO BROMANCE UNTIL I GET MY SECKS.
BILL: AND I’M RESIGNING. THAT’S RIGHT RON. I AM ON STRIKE. NO COMMANDING UNTIL I GET LAURA BACK AND HAVE SOME FRAKKING SEX.
BILL: That’s right. Not leaving this Raptor until there is sex to be had. Thankfully I found our book - it’ll keep me in top condition. ON STRIKE.
*MEANWHILE*
LAURA: Are you frakking kidding me? I’m gonna have visions of dead friends and NOT my future sex? I HATE this show.
LAURA: And now I get to watch my dying self. Awesome. JUST AWESOME RON.
LAURA: And now I get to watch dead!me get more play than I ever did. GEE THANKS RON. OMFGS is he proposing?!! *kicks things* Stupid frakking Ron Moore.
LAURA: Oh thank Gods you’re here. Bill, I love you!
BILL: About time.
LAURA: About time, what bitch? I’VE BEEN SAYING IT FOR EVER.
BILL: Sorry - it was - wait a frakking minute - HAVE I BEEN FOLLOWING THE SCRIPT THIS WHOLE TIME?
LAURA: Yes, but come here, I have something to tell you.
LAURA: *whispers* We’re totally going into that Raptor and having sex before the next ep.
BILL: But it won’t be onscreen.
LAURA: Like I frakking care at this point, you, me, Raptor sex - NOW.
BILL: I love you. Now let’s go.
*RAPTOR rocks and quakes suspiciously*
RON: WHAT IS GOING ON IN THERE? ARE YOU - ?!!!! YOU ARE SO GONNA PAY FOR THIS.
LAURA: OH MY GODS!!!!!!! YES!!!! YES!!!! OH FRAK YES!!!
LAURA: Listen, I know you’re afraid of what Ron’s gonna do - but come on Bill. The Hub is destroyed, Cylons are mortal - what’s the worst thing he could do?
BILL: .... Are you kidding me?
LAURA: Okay so he turned your BFF into a Cylon. And my assistant. And lots of people almost died, and some did. The sex was still TOTALLY worth it, right?
LEE: I’m right here.
BILL: Well, yeah, it was. When you did that thing with your tongue-
LEE: STILL RIGHT HERE.
LAURA: Mmmmhmmm. And when you showed me just WHAT Condition Two is... I nearly died Bill. Your hands are SO damn talented. And the things you can do with your mouth...
LEE: STILL. RIGHT. HERE. GODS!
BILL: Yeah that was pretty good...
LAURA: Plus we found Earth! So we win!
BILL: Godsdamn right we do. Take that Ron Moore!
BILL & LAURA: I frakking HATE Ron Moore.
LAURA: ...... this blows.
BILL: .... it really does.
*silence*
LAURA: Sex was still worth it though.
BILL: Totally.
SO LET'S MAKE THIS WEEK AN EPIC ONE, SHALL WE? OUT LAST HIATUS SURVIVAL FLAIL DEMANDS THAT WE FLAIL IN LIKE, EPIC WAYS.
EPIC.
AND.....
GO!!!
ETA: AND LOOK WHAT clararon MADE IN HONOUR OF OUR LAST FLAIL: I LOLED MY ASS OFF. I'M STILL GRINNING.