[Fic] Loud
Title: Loud [2/3]
Pairings: jaejoong/fc, yunjae later on
Rating: pg 13
Genre: romance, drabble, drama-ish
A/N: How much do you think you know about Homin and JYJ?
Summary: Jaejoong slithers off to Vancouver, Canada to avert the mixture of controversies between Japan and Korea. He reunites with an old, childhood friend, who seems to know everything about him while he doesn't seem to know anything about her...
Nightfall drapes over the gloomy skies after hours of setting up our tents and collecting wood for the bonfire. When Rena finally lit up the woodpile with a match, the first star had already appeared near the horizon, within the web of branches above us.
I examined Rena as she skillfully plopped marshmallows onto crackers and sandwiched gooey white sugar with chocolate. “Do you do this often?”
“My mom had always been an outdoor person.”
I recalled Aunt Sung’s chipper attitude. “I can tell.”
She handed me the dripping s’more sandwich, and I quickly stuffed it in my mouth before anything fell on my shirt. “So she kind of imbedded the ‘outdoor’ habits in me. Even without her, I like to go out to the woods on my own.”
“It’s nice here.”
Rena settled herself beside me and tilted her head up towards the sky. “You can see a lot that you can’t see in the city.”
I nodded in agreement, yet ironically took out my cell phone to check the mailbox-two messages, one from Yoochun and one from Junsu, no missed calls. I shoved it back into my bag and took a sip of beer that I had packed along.
“Come on,” she knocked the beer can out of my hand playfully, her eyes on the sky above us. “You would want to be sober for this, because you’ll never be able to see this many stars again.”
I gave her a skeptical glance and followed her gaze-she was right. The scene was indescribable with words: the clouds from the day had dispersed in all different directions, and a million diamonds were blinking down at us, as if jewels cascading from the sky, the faraway glimmers overlapped each other and drifted across an endless canvas.
For a moment, I felt completely immersed within the natural brilliance and had forgotten who I was. I suddenly felt very small, and an insignificant existence among the twinkling stars.
“Amazing, isn’t it?” Rena breathed, pointing to the northern sky, “I see Orion, Big Dipper...” She traced along the sky, and giggled to herself. “Aw, I always have trouble finding Cassiopeia and it should be the easiest one...”
I felt myself flinch as I downed the leftover beer. It was her single word that abruptly reminded me of my identity again. I expected to be inquisitive about my celebrity life again, but she never hesitated as she moved on to identify Aquarius, Gemini and other constellation, which made no sense to me at all.
When she found my eyes burning a hole through her cheeks, she snickered and told me to wipe the cyborg look off of my face.
“I thought you were going to ask me about my career again.” I told her a little too bluntly.
“Because I mentioned Cassiopeia?”
I dropped the empty beer can to the ground and watched it roll down the tiny slope wordlessly.
“I thought you might say that,” she pushed a strand of hair beside her ear. “Although I didn’t pinpoint Cassiopeia on purpose, I knew you were a little paranoid about others sticking their nose in your business from the way you talked earlier.” She stuck a marshmallow on a stick and watched it burn in the flames, “I got that - so I’m dropping the subject. Since our career paths are so complicated, let’s just make a deal to not talk about it anymore, okay?”
“Deal.”
Though I was surprised at her mention of our career paths: I pondered what Rena’s job was like. It seemed that she had already known everything about me-from past to present-and I had no knowledge about her.
“But I have to say, Cassiopeia really is beautiful-it’s the only constellation that made sense to me.”
I found myself agreeing unknowingly. “Me too.”
She tilted her head and smiled at me. I couldn’t look away-there was something captivating and breathtaking about this scenery: the fact that we were sitting in front of a flickering bonfire, under the veil of stars and surrounded by silence ... It resembled the scenarios in every love story, and I guess they included it for a reason.
We were sitting close, and her chin was only inches away. I reached out instinctively and took her face in my palm, my lips on hers before either of us could blink twice.
The crackling of the fire and her burnt marshmallow interrupted the mystifying trance, and recoiled from my touch, her face scarlet bright in the night.
“I-I’m sorry.” I stuttered dumbly, looking away. “I shouldn’t have packed beer with me.”
“That’s alright,” she said quietly and stood to her feet without looking at me. From her side profile, I caught a glimpse of the uncomfortable expression on her face. “Let’s just go to bed.”
I nodded and watched her pace towards her own tent, zipping it shut. “Good night.”
“Good night.” I whispered hoarsely, my throat dry. I wasn’t sure if she had heard me, but I heard no movements inside her tent. I stared at her tent for a long time before routinely pulling out my cell phone from my backpack, hoping to seek advice from Yoochun. It was then I had realized that there was absolutely no signal in the woods.
Shit. I grabbed a fistful of dirt and grass, tossing them into the fire.
When we packed and drove back the next morning, Rena told silly stories of our childhood and described the local scenery to me as if nothing unusual had happened. I played along-there was no need to violate the peace. It was a drunk kiss, meaning nothing to either her or me. It did not faze me that she chose to skip that clip of the night, but I knew secretly, I did expect her to have some sort of subtle response at least.
“Jae-ah, you look fantastic.” My mother had remarked as I carried our backpacks out of the van.
I raised an eyebrow at her eccentric comment.
“Really. Back in Korea, you would look either exhausted, or,” my mother lowered her voice considerately, “with a new nose or eyebrow.”
I rolled my eyes. “Mom...”
“And you seem happier, too.” She said quietly, “I haven’t seen you with genuine happiness since-”
“Mom.” I knew the subsequent words and crudely cut her off. I didn’t want to be brought back to the present yet-not when I was finally in truce with myself. So I gripped the last backpack tight and ended our conversation.
Rena made grilled salmon with fresh salsa and baked potatoes the next night. When she placed my serving of salmon in front of me, I laughed and teased her that she had fully lost her Korean identity. Rena agreed and disagreed at the same time, and Aunt Sung quipped that Rena had learned the family recipe for kimichi.
“Will you make it as good as Aunt Sung used to?”
She forked a piece of fish and half-smirked. “If you are staying long enough to find out.”
There was so much more to learn about Rena, and that was undoubtedly an obvious invitation. For the rest of the dinner, I scripted various excuses in my mind for Yoochun and Junsu to delay our activities together.
Rena’s phone buzzed restlessly on the dinner table several times and she took no notice. When it vibrated for the fourth time, I tried to take it and tell her to answer it already. But she grabbed it before me and instantly shut it off without even glancing at the screen.
“Who was it?” I demanded.
“Work.” She said breezily, and threw me a witty grin. “We made a deal, didn’t we?”
I concurred, but the odd flickering in her usually serene eyes told me she was now an even greater mystery.
We were left alone to clean the dishes again as our mothers separated themselves in the living room, conversing about marital matters. Standing beside her, I realized how small Rena really was; funny how someone could be so small and so unpredictable.
Staring at the side of her face, I was instantaneously taken back to our camping trip a few nights before. My pulsing skips a few beats at the reminisce and I wasn’t sure why it did. Perhaps in the back of my mind, I’d been thinking about that moment for the past few days, but was too distracted and soaked in strange happiness to be niggled by it.
A glob of foam suddenly landed on my face, and I realized that I’d been zoning out for awhile. As I scrambled to wipe the soap from my face, I saw Rena beaming at me. “You’ve got to stop giving me those robot looks.”
I scowled at her and threw a handful of dish soap bubbles at her face. She dodged my throw and instead wet my shirt with another slab of foam. The kitchen was a bubbly mess, with a flurry of foam dancing across the tiled floor. When we were both drenched with sticky soap water and were choking from laughter, Rena suddenly quieted and grabbed my jaw. Without a second of pause, she kissed me hard on the lips-short, but her lips scalding on mine.
When she pulled back, her eyes were glittering and her cheeks were pink, “I’ve wanted do that ten years ago, and you beat me to it.”
My eyes widened-her words were hard to believe, but I didn’t doubt her for a single fraction of a second. I didn’t falter to respond, pulling her into the nearest room and left the mess where it was.
The disaster in the kitchen was gone as we emerged from the guest room. Aunt Sung had already wiped the counters and was on the phone whispering to someone on the other end, chuckling softly as she did.
Indistinctively, I caught clips of the conversation, including “I won’t tell her”, “come as soon as possible” etcetera. I glanced at Rena, her hair slightly tousled and the heat vivid under her translucent skin, wondering if she was getting a surprise birthday party soon.
“Is there something you should tell me?” I nudged her.
Rena only frowned and marched up to Aunt Sung. “Mom, do we have visitors?”
“Yes,” Aunt Sung answered smoothly. “I’ve called a few friends to come over for dinner tomorrow,” she looked over at me politely, “I hope you won’t mind, Jaejoong. It would be a bit crowded.”
I shook my head, but Rena seemed unconvinced. “Which friends?”
“Oh, just some of my co-workers.”
She observed Aunt Sung for a moment and stepped out to the patio. I pursued her into the cool night air and stood beside her. “That was a bit dramatic of you.” I noted.
She gave me a wry smile. “My mom can be very unpredictable sometimes.”
I laughed. “Her? What about you, then?”
“What about me?”
“You still owe me a lot of answers.”
“Answers for what?” She retorted innocently, and I ruffled her hair with a light chuckle. She laughed along for a minute, then locked her arm around mine. “Just stick around...but not for too long.”
I tried to break from her grasp and demand her of the underlying connotation. But she kissed me again, erasing all my questions before they were even articulate.
The overcast that had loomed Vancouver had finally dispersed the next morning, leaving a dome of transparent turquoise hovering over the city. It was the perfect morning for brunch - with buttered croissants and earl grey tea that Aunt Sung had set out on the patio for Rena and I.
For the entire morning, Aunt Sung seemed to have a shifty aura around her, and even my mother had noticed the unusual smirk that she couldn’t eradicate from her face. Rena seemed distracted-perhaps by her mother’s strange behaviors-she didn’t speak much until I diverted her attention to our successive plans and questions about Vancouver.
“You wouldn’t want to stay here for too long,” Rena informed me as she sipped on her tea; there was a grave undertone to her seemingly light remark. “The city only gets sun about one-third of the year; you wouldn’t be able to stand it.”
“At least it’s better than always being trapped in an airplane.” I replied bitterly.
She said nothing more and locked her eyes on her anxious mother without a word. When Aunt Sung finished the last bite of her croissant and began to set down a tea set, Rena stood up. “Mom, what is going on?”
“I told you, we are having a guest today.”
“A guest?” Rena asked suspiciously, “I thought you invited your friends. Not a friend.”
Aunt Sung turned away into the kitchen, her expressions concealed. “Did I?”
Rena sighed exasperatedly and slumped into her seat. She glared at me angrily when she found that I was staring at her with an amused expression. “What?”
“It’s just that, you seem more jumpy than your mother.” I pointed.
She gave me a sharp glare and was about to respond with a repartee before the patio door open again-This time, Aunt Sung wasn’t alone. I felt the smile fading from my face as I caught the first glimpse of her special guest.
“Surprise!” Aunt Sung exclaimed emphatically, beaming at both Rena and I with flushed cheeks. “You kids almost dragged the answer out of me and ruined it,” she glanced over, “ then Yunho’s visit wouldn’t be a surprise!”
From my peripheral vision, I saw Rena’s lips blanching and her dark eyes on me.
“Jaejoong?” Yunho gaped at me, with those dark eyes that had been imprinted in my life, yet foreign at the same time because I had been averting them for so long.
“Rena-ah, your boyfriend flies all the way from Korea as a surprise for your birthday, and you don’t say anything?”
Boyfriend.
Something lashed at my mind, and I felt as if I had been tossed into fire. The blood was abruptly boiling and restless in my veins, and I swept the tea cup across the table in one slap. I whipped my head around to see Rena’s aghast and sorry expressions-the ocean of seething anger a tsunami, and I clenched my fingers to prevent from punching her.
“Damn it.” I growled under my breath, ignoring Aunt Sung’s equally appalled expressions as I stormed into the house. There were scattered footsteps pursuing my impudent leave, and I immediately broke into a run. I had to leave this place before fury overtook my senses.