Untamed (Part III)
Title: Untamed (Part III)
Author: mintheart♥
Length: Drabble
Parings: JaejoongxFictional
Rating: NC - 17
Genre: Romance
Warnings: Devoted Fans DO NOT READ. Contains fan offensive comments.
A/N: :) Hope you like it! Comments&Suggestions welcomed! :D
Summary: It's not too late, it's never too late, to escape our chains, because we are untamed, and our hunger for freedom is never ending...
VI.
Oh no.
Oh no no no no.
Please, please tell me I didn’t do what I might have done last night and this was all just a mirage! I pressed my eyelids shut tight as I flipped them open again, praying for everything to vanish-They didn’t.
There I had lain on the early dawn beach of Cuba, the balmy air breezed across my still burning skin as my head rested on Jaejoong’s smooth, toned chest with my long hair scattering messily on the sand. His arms were locking protectively around my bare waist as if he was scared that I would escape while he was unconscious. I laid on his chest breathlessly for a moment, to feel the gentle movements of his breaths before gazing back at him again-he had a tiny, serene smile on his face as he snored adorably, as if he was having a sweet dream.
I caught my breath for a second. I knew I was having the sweetest dream too, but that dream was also my worst nightmare. And I knew that my dream, our dream had ended already, and that I had to leave now. So did he, as soon as he woke up.
As much as I resented my messed up family, my life, my everything-And even though this was the perfect revenge to send my lunatic mother and my gullible, susceptible sister straight to their therapists, I couldn’t do it. Not to them, but to Jaejoong-To use him like an object to complete my plot,I couldn’t.
It wasn’t a mistake. It was a mistake if you ran away from home at the age of five; it was a mistake if you lost your virginity to a stranger at the age of fourteen; it was a mistake if you danced on the tables of a bar and made out with a bartender; it was a mistake even you did all of this just to get your mother’s attention, but it wasn’t a mistake when you had sex with your sister’s fiancée the night before their wedding-That would make you a slut. And that was exactly who I was, and I felt like I had been punched in the face repeatedly at the thoughts of everything I’ve done.
Yet there was not a single trace of regret relating to Jaejoong, just urges of disgust at myself and who I was for the first time.
Tears started to well in my eyes as I wriggled myself out of his grip cautiously, careful to not wake him up from his slumber. I dressed myself in silence as tears begun to well within my eyes, I sniffed quietly to choke them back down my lumpy throat. I never knew how difficult it was to put on a simple dress until today, when every part of your body seemed to be immersed in oceans of pain as my desperate endeavors remained in vain.
What the hell is wrong with you?! I wanted to raise my hand and slap myself across the face to remind me how idiotic it was for me to be uncertain. There’s no doubt; I had to leave.
I chewed my lips hard and pushed myself to move, the images of last night still flashing across my head as I spun around to catch a prompted glance of Jaejoong for one last time, where he had laid on the shore of the beach, his dark hair still damp as they traced along the contour of his jawbones.
My feet were gluing to the ground again as I gazed at his sweetly tranquil expression, then I had to urge myself to snap my head around and continue my endless, agonizing journey home.
“Here I am, so try to forgive me, I don’t believe in fairytales,” I murmured faintly under my breath as I remembered the pathetic lyrics of a song I used to love when I was a child, “I’m sorry for running away like this, I’m sorry but I’ve already made my wish…Oh but Cinderella’s got to go.”
And this was it.
I’ve got to go, once and for all, to forget all of this-including myself, and who I used to be.
VII.
“Amber, is that you?”
I winced as I heard my mother’s voice and then swore under my breath-as swift as I tried to be, my mother had still discovered my existence in the beach house. Damn that woman with her supreme bat hearings! How could she possibly have caught the smallest movements in such a huge house at six in the morning?!
“Where do you think you are going, Amber?” She clumped down the wooden stairs and glowered at the bag on my shoulders, “You are not pulling the ‘running away from home’ act again, are you? Because even if you are, it’s not going to work. You are going to end up coming home later, and you know that.”
“Save your damn breath mother, as if there are much of it left,” I quarreled with a snarl through my clenched teeth, I didn’t have to save any clemency for her at all now that I had seen through the harsh reality and the truth, “I’m not even going to waste my time on my stupid acts anymore, not that you give a crap. I’m leaving the house for London right now, to go to that freaking military school you talked about.”
Her head shot up in surprise. “Well, as much as I appreciate your effort, you can’t leave now. Your sister’s wedding is in four hours! She’s already with her hairdresser to get her hair done and I was just about to call Jaejoong in a moment.”
I swallowed hard; my ears paused on her last sentence as if it was hitting the replay button in my head. Imagine if she knew that Jaejoong was still half naked on the beach and did god-knows-what last night…She would exterminate me from this world first, and then die of humiliation.
“Good for you,” I managed to stutter, “Go and get ready for the wedding, since you are so busy. You don’t need me here, so I’m leaving.”
“I didn’t know you were so eager to go to military school, Amber,” My mother scrutinized my expressions suspiciously and folded her arms across her chest, her tone grave, “But you are not missing the wedding under any circumstances. Don’t make a scene. Stay.”
I squinted my eyes at her. “I’m not a dog, mother. I don’t see any leash on my neck and I don’t jump for your dangling treats. So don’t try and hold me back anymore, I’m not one of your properties in your company who you can boss around all day,” I took a sharp pause and hitched the doorknob with my hands, “Besides, it’s not even my wedding, it doesn’t change anything even if I was there.”
“Amber, don’t you dare opening that door.” She threatened icily from behind as my fingers clutched around the doorknob tighter with conviction.
“Watch me,” With my last two words announced callously, I hauled the door open with all the strength I could possibly accelerate through my sore body.
Ignoring my mother’s menace roaring in the background, I stepped out into the indistinct, golden sunlight of the day. For a brief moment, I thought I had heard the cracking sound of my rusty chains as they crashed onto the ground and into their eternal grave.
VIII.
I didn’t leave immediately after but had rented a convertible instead and drove around the shore lines of the beach in circles mindlessly until twilight.
My imperious heart had once again, took over my coward-like brain as I found the need to reminisce last night one last time before I relinquish it once and for all.
Thoughts of Jaejoong jetted through my head as my ears reverberated with the remaining echoes of our deafening heart beat that drummed us combatively, and the fiery touches that still seemed to combust my skin in igneous flames with each thought…
I stopped soaring around the beach by sunset and trailed my way down to the by the Cuban seaside.
The setting sun was so tragically beautiful. There was something about the Cuban sunset that seemed to illustrate a desolate image of a flaring, giant bird being cruelly shot in the chest as drops of blood spilled all over the water. But I couldn’t seem to move my eyes away from the stunning image as I sat down alone by the shores, I was befuddled.
The wedding ceremony was definitely finished by now, Abby and Jaejoong were probably having the grand dinner and greeting all the high-status, upper class guests. And after that…I bit my lips in dismal bitterness, I couldn’t allow my imagination to mount in my head anymore. It was too painful just to think about picturing the image of Jaejoong touching someone else.
I shut my eyes as I buried my head miserably within my cold arms.
Honestly, Amber, are you seriously falling in love with him? I questioned myself bitterly. It was just one night of temerity, one accidental night, too. It wasn’t like I have never done anything similar to it before, but I just couldn’t let go of everything and let it fade into a memory that I could only reminisce in the future.
Jaejoong wasn’t like, or even remotely close to any guys in the past. And I knew too, that I was doubtlessly falling for him.
I wanted to see him again, just once, and that would be it. Because there was nothing else I could possibly do.
“Amber!” And the wish from the bottom of my broken heart had been granted with a shout that pierced through the sedate silence.
I didn’t bother to look up. I knew I was only hallucinating again to be able to hear Jaejoong’s voice, because he couldn’t possibly be here right now unless…
“Amber!” He called again to drag me back from my trailing thoughts, and I knew it wasn’t hallucination this time, because his voice seemed to drift closer, “Do you know how long I’ve been looking for you? I went to the airport because I thought you left for London…How could you leave like this?!”
“Why…What…” I snapped my head up to stare at him in awe and managed to utter a complete sentence after a few seconds of reorganizing my senses, “How did you get here? Why did you even come?! It’s your wedding…I mean, you are supposed to be at your wedding!”
“And I was.” He smiled playfully and spun around to show me his designer black tuxedo, “But I left. Awhile ago, actually.”
“WHAT?!” I jumped up from the ground as I gaped at him with my light bulb-like eyes and my mouth wide open, “You ditched my sister Abby?! Did you even finish the ceremony?”
“Yeah, sorry, but I did.” He shrugged and then accused, “And how could I finish the ceremony when I was busy looking for you, dummy!”
Normally I would kick his skinny, fit ass for calling me a dummy, but I was too beyond the level of petrifaction to mind his insults. Was he seriously out of his mind, to have abandoned the unfinished ceremony to chase after me? And to have left all those guests, my mother and worst of all, my sister-the bride to-be, in a standing humiliation…I was already shivering from the notions of the consequences from his stupid decision.
“Why?” That was all I was able to say.
“That should be my question, Amber,” He meshed his lips, frowning as he spoke in a low voice, “Why did you run away in the morning? Do you know how horrible I felt and how scared I was after I woke up by myself, and you were nowhere to be seen? How could you leave me like that after what had happened…”
“Stop!” I interrupted him immediately before his recalls could start changing my wavering decision, “Nothing happened, okay?! It was a stupid mistake we both made because we both had beer. You need to stop talking about it and face the real world, Jae. Go back and don’t be foolish, you have a wedding with Abby.”
He groaned in frustration as he started yelling. “Will you shut the hell up about your sister?! She means nothing to me-nothing at all compared to you!” He hyperventilated, his chest pumping furiously as he continued with his rage, “You know, it’s not like I haven’t tried to hold myself back because of my family’s attendance. But it just didn’t work, not at all. I was standing beside the priest and watching my future wife to-be walking down the aisle, yet all I could think about was this girl who was finally pouring her heart out to me last night, beside the beach and under the fireworks.”
I stared at him with a dumb, horrified expression on my face. Though I was horrified in a good way-I was overwhelmed with storms of heartfelt affection.
“And yes, I’m talking about you, Amber. Everything about you was an enslaving allure to me-The way you called me a ‘faggot’ the first time we met, the way you tripped me rudely at the airport, the way you tried to hide your tears of heartbreak because of the fight with your mother, the way you tried to armor yourself so perfectly, the way you had confessed your honest thoughts to me under the stars and the way you had finally gave in to me…It was all about you. All I could think about was you-headstrong, independent, frustrating you, you, you…” He let out a long exhale after his endless listing and walked closer to me, his hands framing around the outlines of my face gingerly, his dark eyes earnest with devotion, “I love you, Amber.”
His simple words seeped through my veins like smooth adrenaline as I felt the rush of heat beneath my skin. I tried to keep my breathing gradual, because an inner battle was taking place within me again with the intuition versus the mind, as usual.
I love you too, Jaejoong. And I wanted to shout that out loud enough for the entire world to acknowledge my feelings…But I couldn’t. I still couldn’t let go of the ties with my mother and my sister; after all, they were my one and only family.
“And don’t even try to find your amateur excuses, Amber,” He reminded me as if he was reading thorough my thoughts, “You wouldn’t be calling me ‘Jae’ if it was nothing that had happened and you wouldn’t be sitting here by the ocean if you hated last night so much.”
But I came up with an idiot excuse anyways.
“You don’t know me Jaejoong,” I shook my head robotically, my voices gruff as I spoke, “How can you love me when you hardly know me?”
He sighed and pushed strands of frizzy hair off of my face. “See, there you go again. And I do know you. We talked about everything there was to know about each other, what else could you possibly want? And I felt like I had know you since the beginning when I saw your rebellious behaviors, even though I never imagined myself to fall in love with someone at the first sight. But I did. You reminded me of who I used to be, who I could have been and that was when I felt like you could be the one I’ve been searching for all my life.”
It was as if an avalanche of exuberance had toppled over me-exuberance of relieve, as if I had finally arrived at the designated sanctuary after my exhausting journey.
That was when my tears started to shed ceaselessly as I stood in front of him, crying like a baby. Though I knew they were warm tears of joy because I had never felt so cherished and that someone had at last belonged to me, only me. And after I had spent my near, whole life cursing life itself, everything had been righteously settled with a fair denouement-when I had received my share of love at last.
Jaejoong gazed at my outburst of tears in shock as he crushed me securely with his arms, like he was trying to ease my pain by doing so.
“I’m fine…” I mumbled with my head buried in his chest as I struggled to look up, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for ever leaving you alone on the beach like that…I had no choice, I felt so guilty then, I had to leave. But I promise you right now, that I will never run away like that again. Ever.” I took a deep breath as I gazed up into his dark eyes, my voice clear and certain, “I love you too, Jaejoong. And for the record, I never believed in love at first sight either, but it happened anyways…”
He kissed me, breaking off my last word anxiously as his lips moved aggressively with mine. Without any barriers or restrictions, I welcomed his kiss this time as I tipped my feet to lock my arms around his neck, allowing the vivid happiness to penetrate through both of our veins.
“What should we do now?” I broke away after a moment as I gasped for oxygen, “You know, about our families.”
“Screw my negativity from last night, about forever being imprisoned under the rules of our families,” He hugged my waist and gleamed with blissful smile, “Now I can clearly see, it’s never too late to break away and start all over.”
Hearing his brand new, awakened realization, I smiled too. “You are right. It’s about time I did-I mean, we did.”
We both beheld the remaining traces of the beautifully engaging Cuban sunset as we felt the cool breeze feathering across our skin. I watched the waves colliding against the rock with booming rumbles and motioned my lips into a smooth curve as I winked at Jaejoong teasingly.
“Hey, you want to go for one last swim in the ocean before we leave?”
“Okay,” He agreed quickly with a naughty smirk as he lifted me up off the ground in an instance, “But you are going in first!”
I squealed in disbelief as I fell into the water and got soaked from head to toe as I staggered to stand up. Jaejoong was already choking of laughing when I had regained my vision after a few minutes.
Damn him. I pursed my lips into a straight line as a sudden spark of revenge flashed across my head.
“Jae!” I cried for his name, pacing back in long strides as I launched myself towards him, leaping into his already prepared, open arms with all the strength I could possibly gather throughout my entire body, “Catch!”
And with one last exclaim, we both plunged into the deep water with hysterical yet soothed laughter of freedom.
Ew. I hope you don’t expect a cheesy conclusion of “happily ever after” from me, though we truly had it, there was no doubt about that.
-The End-
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and btw. to my special dears :) u know who u r, ILU! <3 :)