Can't Come Back - Adult - Remus/Sirius - 1/1
Title: Can’t Come Back
Author: claudia6913
Pairing: Sirius/Remus
Rating: R
Summary: Remus feels the pain of losing Sirius.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, the characters belong solely to JKR.
Distribution: fandeyth, others just ask.
Can’t Come Back
He can't come back, Harry. He can't come back, because he's d-
He'd never finished his sentence, never uttered that final word, the one that would bring it all crashing to a finality Remus couldn't bear. Oh, others had said it. Harry had screamed that word at the top of his lungs, and yet there was an eerie sense of...waiting, he supposed. Waiting for what though, Remus didn't know.
Walking through the dingy halls and room of twelve Grimmauld Place, Remus couldn't help but to expect to see his old friend’s gruff, yet friendly, face just around the bend or a bark of laughter, just...something. But there was nothing. There was no bottle of fire whiskey waiting on the kitchen table when he got back from a long night of working for the Order. There was no light left on in the bedroom they'd shared. There was no Sirius.
Remus had been strong for Harry's sake. He'd even been strong for Molly and Arthur. Only Mad Eye and Tonks were the ones who left him be, and he was thankful for that. While he respected them both, Remus was at his wits end with being strong.
Lying awake in the bed, Remus wrestled with the urge to cry, wishing, for the first time in his life, that he could change into the werewolf, shed the emotions, complicating and confusing as they were, and howl at the moon, letting out all the raw emotion he'd held in for so long now. A knock on the door brought him out of his musings and just for a moment, Remus expected Sirius to come bounding in, prattling on about being an utter git for leaving Remus. But, as reality hit, Remus' hand fell from the doorknob. Whoever it was, they could leave. He didn't want company.
"Remus, are you in there?" a familiar voice called out.
The door opened slowly, leaving Remus immobile, looking unbelievably upon the one person he'd never thought he'd see again.
"How?" was all he could think to say.
"That all? No hug, no kiss, no punch for leavin', if only for a bit?” Sirius asked, smiling.
Remus had to shake himself, blink to see if it was real. He opened his eyes to see Sirius, leaning casually as ever on the door jam, chuckling softly. Remus took a step forward, angry now.
"You'd promised."
"I know, mate. 'M sorry."
"You left me."
"'M back now."
"I saw you fall."
"Know all that, was there," Sirius said, unfolding his arms and taking a step closer to his friend, his lover.
"I'm sorry," Remus said, hanging his head.
"For what?"
"Not saving you."
"'S alright, Moony," Sirius said, his voice soft. He took that last step before pulling Remus to him, wrapping his arms around him. "'M here now."
Clinging to him, Remus let go. He let all of the fear, all of the grief; all of the anger go in long, hard, soul shattering sobs. Sirius held him, tight, letting Remus know he was there. The how's and why's of it didn't matter anymore. Sirius was there, in his arms - home. Remus lifted his head and crushed his lips to Sirius', showing him in ways that no words could do justice, just now much Remus had missed him. Gladly, Sirius returned the kiss.
Pulling away, his breath coming fast, Sirius said, "Now that's a welcome back."
"I'm not done yet."
"Can't wait."
Clothes were removed in a blur of eager hands, and still it wasn't fast enough for them. Sirius took advantage of the flesh before him, nibbling and licking at his nipples while Remus fought with Sirius' pants.
"It hurt," Remus said, sighing with relief when he got Sirius' pants down.
"What hurt?” Sirius asked, distracted my Remus' hands on his cock. He bucked up into the hand as he gasped. "All feels good to me."
"When you left," Remus said, moaning when his cock was free to rub against Sirius. "It hurt."
"Promise to make it all better," Sirius said, walking them to the bed. Remus' legs hit the bed and he tumbled backwards pulling Sirius with him.
"It's better already."
Sirius smiling, dipping down for a softer, lingering kiss. They explored each other anew, relearning what hadn't been forgotten, but had been missed like air or food. Sirius was Remus' world, was his air, his life, and it had felt like it had all stopped that fateful moment Sirius had fell through that arch. But no more. Sirius was back and in his arms, trailing a line down his torso, and all was as it should be.
Remus lay there, in a post-coital lethargy. They’d shagged each other until they were limp and sated. Rolling over, Remus opened his eyes.
"Sirius?" he asked, looking at the empty bed next to him.
Frantically, Remus searched the room. There were no clothes except for his on the floor. He ran through the house, searching every room, and still he found nothing. Sirius had to be around somewhere. he just had to be! But, there was no sign of him anywhere.
Sinking into a chair in the kitchen, Remus howled out his anger, crying out at the unfairness of it all.
It'd been a dream. All of it.
Sirius was not there.
They hadn't made love.
He can't come back, Harry. He can't come back, because he's -
"Dead."
~END~
Author: claudia6913
Pairing: Sirius/Remus
Rating: R
Summary: Remus feels the pain of losing Sirius.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, the characters belong solely to JKR.
Distribution: fandeyth, others just ask.
Can’t Come Back
He can't come back, Harry. He can't come back, because he's d-
He'd never finished his sentence, never uttered that final word, the one that would bring it all crashing to a finality Remus couldn't bear. Oh, others had said it. Harry had screamed that word at the top of his lungs, and yet there was an eerie sense of...waiting, he supposed. Waiting for what though, Remus didn't know.
Walking through the dingy halls and room of twelve Grimmauld Place, Remus couldn't help but to expect to see his old friend’s gruff, yet friendly, face just around the bend or a bark of laughter, just...something. But there was nothing. There was no bottle of fire whiskey waiting on the kitchen table when he got back from a long night of working for the Order. There was no light left on in the bedroom they'd shared. There was no Sirius.
Remus had been strong for Harry's sake. He'd even been strong for Molly and Arthur. Only Mad Eye and Tonks were the ones who left him be, and he was thankful for that. While he respected them both, Remus was at his wits end with being strong.
Lying awake in the bed, Remus wrestled with the urge to cry, wishing, for the first time in his life, that he could change into the werewolf, shed the emotions, complicating and confusing as they were, and howl at the moon, letting out all the raw emotion he'd held in for so long now. A knock on the door brought him out of his musings and just for a moment, Remus expected Sirius to come bounding in, prattling on about being an utter git for leaving Remus. But, as reality hit, Remus' hand fell from the doorknob. Whoever it was, they could leave. He didn't want company.
"Remus, are you in there?" a familiar voice called out.
The door opened slowly, leaving Remus immobile, looking unbelievably upon the one person he'd never thought he'd see again.
"How?" was all he could think to say.
"That all? No hug, no kiss, no punch for leavin', if only for a bit?” Sirius asked, smiling.
Remus had to shake himself, blink to see if it was real. He opened his eyes to see Sirius, leaning casually as ever on the door jam, chuckling softly. Remus took a step forward, angry now.
"You'd promised."
"I know, mate. 'M sorry."
"You left me."
"'M back now."
"I saw you fall."
"Know all that, was there," Sirius said, unfolding his arms and taking a step closer to his friend, his lover.
"I'm sorry," Remus said, hanging his head.
"For what?"
"Not saving you."
"'S alright, Moony," Sirius said, his voice soft. He took that last step before pulling Remus to him, wrapping his arms around him. "'M here now."
Clinging to him, Remus let go. He let all of the fear, all of the grief; all of the anger go in long, hard, soul shattering sobs. Sirius held him, tight, letting Remus know he was there. The how's and why's of it didn't matter anymore. Sirius was there, in his arms - home. Remus lifted his head and crushed his lips to Sirius', showing him in ways that no words could do justice, just now much Remus had missed him. Gladly, Sirius returned the kiss.
Pulling away, his breath coming fast, Sirius said, "Now that's a welcome back."
"I'm not done yet."
"Can't wait."
Clothes were removed in a blur of eager hands, and still it wasn't fast enough for them. Sirius took advantage of the flesh before him, nibbling and licking at his nipples while Remus fought with Sirius' pants.
"It hurt," Remus said, sighing with relief when he got Sirius' pants down.
"What hurt?” Sirius asked, distracted my Remus' hands on his cock. He bucked up into the hand as he gasped. "All feels good to me."
"When you left," Remus said, moaning when his cock was free to rub against Sirius. "It hurt."
"Promise to make it all better," Sirius said, walking them to the bed. Remus' legs hit the bed and he tumbled backwards pulling Sirius with him.
"It's better already."
Sirius smiling, dipping down for a softer, lingering kiss. They explored each other anew, relearning what hadn't been forgotten, but had been missed like air or food. Sirius was Remus' world, was his air, his life, and it had felt like it had all stopped that fateful moment Sirius had fell through that arch. But no more. Sirius was back and in his arms, trailing a line down his torso, and all was as it should be.
Remus lay there, in a post-coital lethargy. They’d shagged each other until they were limp and sated. Rolling over, Remus opened his eyes.
"Sirius?" he asked, looking at the empty bed next to him.
Frantically, Remus searched the room. There were no clothes except for his on the floor. He ran through the house, searching every room, and still he found nothing. Sirius had to be around somewhere. he just had to be! But, there was no sign of him anywhere.
Sinking into a chair in the kitchen, Remus howled out his anger, crying out at the unfairness of it all.
It'd been a dream. All of it.
Sirius was not there.
They hadn't made love.
He can't come back, Harry. He can't come back, because he's -
"Dead."
~END~