It's the perfect time for a blog... woo woo woo...
5:30pm
I should be boarding a plane right now. I should be on my way to philadelphia where Miss Smith would be picking me up and driving us to South Jersey where Maylin would meet us. We'd be drinking Yuengling by 9pm. Possibly in the hot tub. Not before I'd give my dad a big fat hug. Only my dad because my mom would still be at the cafe slinging sandwiches.
I'm not boarding a plane. I'm sitting in a fucking packed airport. Packed. So packed that there are no seats.
This afternoon I decided to print my boarding info and found out that you can check in online with AirTran. Oh word. So I did. Anything to avoid a line. ADHD and all. During my check in I notice it says my flight is delayed. Delayed? It's 1pm and my flight is leaving at 6 so how is it delayed already?!
There's a storm a comin'! From the fucking Midwest. FUCK YOU RED STATES! I blame
them.
I call the airline and they tell me that I can get on the 4pm flight so I book it out of work at 2:30 and make it to the booth by 3:30. I rock. During this time I got sired 3 times. People get so embarrased when they realize (if at all) that I'm not a boy. Shit, I love it.
Anyway, I get to the booth to find out that the 4pm flight is delayed as well. They put me on standby for this flight but the nice gay boy tells me that there is a big list and he doubts I'll get on.
4 o'clock flight is delayed until 6. My actual flight is delayed until 9 now.
Okay... fast forward to 6:42pm. I'm on a plane. Yes, I'm going to finish writing this blog from a plane, damn it. The wifi actually reaches out here. That's because we haven't even left the terminal yet. We aren't even on the runway. We haven't moved. Not. One. Bit. I actually made it on the "early" flight. HA! Keep in mind that my flight was supposed to leave at 5:58. So the "early" flight was supposed to take off at 6pm. They're going to let us know if we can take off at 7pm.
My plane is full of cheerleaders.
I lost my ATM card in the terminal, probably when I was paying for WiFi at Logan. Oh but it's okay, I had ample ample time to call Bank of America and cancel that card (Thank you, Kelly Alice).
Poor Erica Smith. I've been texting her and complaining all day.
List of complaints. (List for Kelly Alice)
-No where to sit in the terminal.
-Terminal full of Cheerleaders (who actually DID a fucking cheer - no lie)
-Cheerleaders not even old enough for me to look at. I mean, we're talking like 8th grade or some shit.
-Cheerleaders decide to take a Cosmo quiz, out loud.
-Board plane and the guy next to me smells
-Smelly guy also thinks he owns the armrest and the area into my seat
-One lone cheerleader who strayed from the pack is sitting behind me and kicking my seat. I wish she'd go sit up front with her friends. Maybe she could sit on one of their laps. Gross, that should be hot. If they were fucking older. Like college age. That would be lovely. Oh so lovely.
Also, I'd like to tell everyone now that if they haven't heard Voxtrot yet then you need to listen to them. They fucking ROCK.
"Times like these we need to sit back and relax" - Wise words from the Captain. 6:52pm. "Hopefully, hopefully, air traffic control will push off the gate as soon as this weather clears". He said it won't be anytime soon. Like 30 minutes. IF THAT!
It's pouring outside. The plane is shaking back and forth. The flight is FULL. Sons of bitches.
Pray for me, my children.
I should be boarding a plane right now. I should be on my way to philadelphia where Miss Smith would be picking me up and driving us to South Jersey where Maylin would meet us. We'd be drinking Yuengling by 9pm. Possibly in the hot tub. Not before I'd give my dad a big fat hug. Only my dad because my mom would still be at the cafe slinging sandwiches.
I'm not boarding a plane. I'm sitting in a fucking packed airport. Packed. So packed that there are no seats.
This afternoon I decided to print my boarding info and found out that you can check in online with AirTran. Oh word. So I did. Anything to avoid a line. ADHD and all. During my check in I notice it says my flight is delayed. Delayed? It's 1pm and my flight is leaving at 6 so how is it delayed already?!
There's a storm a comin'! From the fucking Midwest. FUCK YOU RED STATES! I blame
them.
I call the airline and they tell me that I can get on the 4pm flight so I book it out of work at 2:30 and make it to the booth by 3:30. I rock. During this time I got sired 3 times. People get so embarrased when they realize (if at all) that I'm not a boy. Shit, I love it.
Anyway, I get to the booth to find out that the 4pm flight is delayed as well. They put me on standby for this flight but the nice gay boy tells me that there is a big list and he doubts I'll get on.
4 o'clock flight is delayed until 6. My actual flight is delayed until 9 now.
Okay... fast forward to 6:42pm. I'm on a plane. Yes, I'm going to finish writing this blog from a plane, damn it. The wifi actually reaches out here. That's because we haven't even left the terminal yet. We aren't even on the runway. We haven't moved. Not. One. Bit. I actually made it on the "early" flight. HA! Keep in mind that my flight was supposed to leave at 5:58. So the "early" flight was supposed to take off at 6pm. They're going to let us know if we can take off at 7pm.
My plane is full of cheerleaders.
I lost my ATM card in the terminal, probably when I was paying for WiFi at Logan. Oh but it's okay, I had ample ample time to call Bank of America and cancel that card (Thank you, Kelly Alice).
Poor Erica Smith. I've been texting her and complaining all day.
List of complaints. (List for Kelly Alice)
-No where to sit in the terminal.
-Terminal full of Cheerleaders (who actually DID a fucking cheer - no lie)
-Cheerleaders not even old enough for me to look at. I mean, we're talking like 8th grade or some shit.
-Cheerleaders decide to take a Cosmo quiz, out loud.
-Board plane and the guy next to me smells
-Smelly guy also thinks he owns the armrest and the area into my seat
-One lone cheerleader who strayed from the pack is sitting behind me and kicking my seat. I wish she'd go sit up front with her friends. Maybe she could sit on one of their laps. Gross, that should be hot. If they were fucking older. Like college age. That would be lovely. Oh so lovely.
Also, I'd like to tell everyone now that if they haven't heard Voxtrot yet then you need to listen to them. They fucking ROCK.
"Times like these we need to sit back and relax" - Wise words from the Captain. 6:52pm. "Hopefully, hopefully, air traffic control will push off the gate as soon as this weather clears". He said it won't be anytime soon. Like 30 minutes. IF THAT!
It's pouring outside. The plane is shaking back and forth. The flight is FULL. Sons of bitches.
Pray for me, my children.