The Unwavering Band of Light
I go through cycles of awareness about how awful people are to each other, and I'm in one where I notice it everywhere.
And I'm sorry.
I know I'm awful to people, too, because that's what we humans do to each other, and I'm sorry if it's been you, or you, or you.
This is on my arm:
It's from Breakfast of Champions, by Kurt Vonnegut. Those of you who will be reading this already know that. But here's a reminder of its explanation:
"It is a picture of the awareness of every animal. It is the immaterial core of every animal-the “I am” to which all messages are sent. It is all that is alive in any of us-in a mouse, in a deer, in a cocktail waitress. It is unwavering and pure, no matter what preposterous adventure may befall us. A sacred picture of Saint Anthony alone is one vertical, unwavering band of light. If a cockroach were near him, or a cocktail waitress, the picture would show two such bands of light. Our awareness is all that is alive and maybe sacred in any of us. Everything else about us is dead machinery."
It helps me to remember that, and so many other words in that book. In Vonnegut's sentiments, that this world really fucking sucks, but we're all here, and the same, equal at the core. And we're all trying, regardless of what degree our machinery is broken in body or mind. Everyone is doing the best that they can. Even when that seems really...really...inadequate. We are all just unwavering bands of light.
I think my job (and there's nothing unique about it, I think all service industry jobs are like this) is hurting my soul. I was joking with someone that when we're inside the restaurant we should be karmically exempt because of the terrible things we think and say about people...so many times a day it's impossible to count. Because we watch people treat us badly, our co-workers badly, each other badly, and we often do the same in return. We see how miserable everyone is. We lose hope for the population at large and that makes us angry, frustrated, and tired.
I am unwell, in a hollistic sense, and I'm trying to be better. And I think often of another quote from Breakfast of Champions. It goes:
"We are healthy only to the extent that our ideas are humane."
When I think of Kurt, I remember all these things. He's been gone for a while now, but I still miss sharing the world with him.
'We are healthy only to the extent that our ideas are humane.'
And I'm sorry.
I know I'm awful to people, too, because that's what we humans do to each other, and I'm sorry if it's been you, or you, or you.
This is on my arm:
It's from Breakfast of Champions, by Kurt Vonnegut. Those of you who will be reading this already know that. But here's a reminder of its explanation:
"It is a picture of the awareness of every animal. It is the immaterial core of every animal-the “I am” to which all messages are sent. It is all that is alive in any of us-in a mouse, in a deer, in a cocktail waitress. It is unwavering and pure, no matter what preposterous adventure may befall us. A sacred picture of Saint Anthony alone is one vertical, unwavering band of light. If a cockroach were near him, or a cocktail waitress, the picture would show two such bands of light. Our awareness is all that is alive and maybe sacred in any of us. Everything else about us is dead machinery."
It helps me to remember that, and so many other words in that book. In Vonnegut's sentiments, that this world really fucking sucks, but we're all here, and the same, equal at the core. And we're all trying, regardless of what degree our machinery is broken in body or mind. Everyone is doing the best that they can. Even when that seems really...really...inadequate. We are all just unwavering bands of light.
I think my job (and there's nothing unique about it, I think all service industry jobs are like this) is hurting my soul. I was joking with someone that when we're inside the restaurant we should be karmically exempt because of the terrible things we think and say about people...so many times a day it's impossible to count. Because we watch people treat us badly, our co-workers badly, each other badly, and we often do the same in return. We see how miserable everyone is. We lose hope for the population at large and that makes us angry, frustrated, and tired.
I am unwell, in a hollistic sense, and I'm trying to be better. And I think often of another quote from Breakfast of Champions. It goes:
"We are healthy only to the extent that our ideas are humane."
When I think of Kurt, I remember all these things. He's been gone for a while now, but I still miss sharing the world with him.
'We are healthy only to the extent that our ideas are humane.'