lost
Have just talked to mother. Apparently parents have more issues with Israel than previously thought. Father has threatened not to pay, meaning I don't get to go. Mother is worried that it is going to be roughly 5 months, Ulpan starts the end of January and finals are the beginning of June, and it takes two days to get there, what with time differences and all. And Gd forbid something happens... With the unstable situation, I don't think she wants me to be that far away. She wouldn't have so much of a problem if it wasn't so far. After all, if I understand correctly, she practically started the Jewish studies program at her college (for women anyway), and seriously considered going to seminary. My mommy could've been a rabbi.
But I believe that it's worth the risk. I believe that if I let that be my reason not to go, then they win. Terrorists and other nonfriendlies want Israel to fail, because if Israel fails then it ceases to exist and that is thier ultimate goal. (It really is, go read their websites and local propaganda.) By promoting tourism and studying there, I work directly agianst that philosophy and make thier goals that much harder to achieve. I can't live my life afraid to go somewhere because there is political unrest. Right? I suppose I'll talk to my parents more about it when I'm home. My mom says I need a better reason than "I want to" and "it fits my minor" and "But I felt perfectly safe last year." Admittedly, the situation has changed since I've been there, Palestinian elections have put Hamas in power (biiiig terrorist group) and Israeli elections for prime minister are tomorrow, and who knows how that will end up. I guess we'll see where that takes us.
It has been suggested that I look into other things. Other things being places like England, which fits my concentration of colonial/early America well. There's nothing wrong with England and I'd be happy to go, I'd love it, but it wouldn't be the same. I've gone through the AU Abroad thing and narrowed it down to University of London and University of Exeter. Both seem to have excellent history departments and tons of courses I want to take.
I suddenly don't know what I'm doing anymore. I've lost all convictions I had a couple hours ago.
But I believe that it's worth the risk. I believe that if I let that be my reason not to go, then they win. Terrorists and other nonfriendlies want Israel to fail, because if Israel fails then it ceases to exist and that is thier ultimate goal. (It really is, go read their websites and local propaganda.) By promoting tourism and studying there, I work directly agianst that philosophy and make thier goals that much harder to achieve. I can't live my life afraid to go somewhere because there is political unrest. Right? I suppose I'll talk to my parents more about it when I'm home. My mom says I need a better reason than "I want to" and "it fits my minor" and "But I felt perfectly safe last year." Admittedly, the situation has changed since I've been there, Palestinian elections have put Hamas in power (biiiig terrorist group) and Israeli elections for prime minister are tomorrow, and who knows how that will end up. I guess we'll see where that takes us.
It has been suggested that I look into other things. Other things being places like England, which fits my concentration of colonial/early America well. There's nothing wrong with England and I'd be happy to go, I'd love it, but it wouldn't be the same. I've gone through the AU Abroad thing and narrowed it down to University of London and University of Exeter. Both seem to have excellent history departments and tons of courses I want to take.
I suddenly don't know what I'm doing anymore. I've lost all convictions I had a couple hours ago.