The Lost Art of Keeping Secrets
Author: Fanchiction
Title: The Lost Art of Keeping Secrets
Pairing: Mirandy
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Summary: This is my mid-Feb response to i_heart_cuddy's mid-Jan book title challenge. I got 'The Lost Art of Keeping Secrets'.
She had wrinkles.
Miss perfectly coiffed, impeccably dressed, fashion magazine-editing Miranda Priestly had wrinkles. And lots of them. Andy tried not to gawk at the fine lines that ebbed and flowed across her lover’s sleeping face or trace them as they emptied out into the creases around her eyes and mouth.
Andy wasn’t stupid. She knew that her 52-year-old boss had wrinkles. But here, under the white light of the moon at 2am on a Sunday Morning, she realized just how real they were and she loved it. She dared to touch the evidence-- just barely caressed the soft skin beneath the pads of her fingers.
Andy never thought she’d find herself welcome in Miranda Priestly’s bed. Even after they’d started sleeping together, sleepovers hadn’t seemed to be Miranda’s modus operandi. But then, neither had orgasms-- Apparently. Andy was almost certain that she had been the first person to get Miranda there. Mostly because, ever since Andy had started fucking her, Miranda had started making certain exceptions.
Hell, Andy was the exception. Suddenly, the ice queen had become… looser. So to speak. Tepid coffee, sweatpants, and sleeping in had all suddenly become acceptable. Yes, when it came to Andrea Sachs, Miranda Priestly made exceptions.
“Andrea.”
Andy startled at the sound of her lover’s voice. “Hmm?” she asked, almost timidly.
Miranda’s eyes snapped open. “Why are you examining my face?”
“Um.”
“You should go. What time is it?”
Andy panicked as she grasped on to excuse after excuse. My neighborhood’s too dangerous. It’s too late to call Roy. People will talk if they catch me sneaking out. Miranda’s only response was to purse her lips and, much to Andy’s delight, there were lines there too.
By the time Andy ran out of excuses, Miranda had drifted back to sleep. The brunette smiled and snuggled into a big lump of her boss before she fell asleep for the night.
~~~
“G’morning,” Andy yawned when she woke up to a showered, dressed, and-- of course-- made-up Miranda. She knew she looked ridiculous in her pj’s with her tousled hair, but she tried for sexy with a wiggle of her eyebrows anyway. “Come back to bed.”
“I have some errands to run and the girls will be back from Connecticut by this afternoon.” She deliberately ignored the sex in big brown eyes.
Andy’s suspicion about her boss’ hesitation towards morning sex was aptly confirmed. The brat inside of her emerged as she flopped onto her back. “Don’t you have an assistant to run errands for you?”
“My assistant seems to have the ridiculous notion that the weekend is no time for work,” she said sternly, but not without a hint of playfulness.
“She sounds like a smart girl,” the brunette growled. She sat up and nipped the back of her lover’s neck.
Miranda wan't having it. With a breath of exasperation, she grabbed her laptop and headed out. “I‘ll be in the study.”
Back then, things were still in the beta stage of Andy and Miranda’s relationship which was why Andy had locked herself in the bathroom and whispered into the receiver when her phone rang and Doug’s name popped up on the screen. “Hey Dougie.”
“Don’t ‘Hey Dougie’ me, Bitch. You skipped out on poker night because you got a booty call from Satan.”
Andy groaned as she contemplated the different ways to kill Lily for opening her big, fat, mouth. “Yeah,” she beamed anyway. “But we kicked it up a notch.”
“Kicked it up a notch? What does that even mean? Whips and chains?” He laughed and Andy could hear someone else giggling in the background.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if Miranda was into that freaky shit,” Lily shouted from Doug's end.
“Shut up, you guys!” Andy's cheeks burned bright red. She spent the next five minutes listening to them guilt-trip her about being the worst best friend that ever existed. When Miranda’s voice came floating through the door, she jumped up and stuffed her phone into the trashcan out of pure instinct. “Yeah? Um. Yes?” she squeaked.
“Where’s my Blackberry?”
“The study. Top desk drawer!” When she was sure that the woman had walked away, she fished her phone out of the wastebasket. “Sorry.”
“Oh my God! Are you still at Miranda’s?” Doug shrieked. Lily screeched between her heaps of laughter in the background.
“I…” Andy whispered.
“Andrea!” Miranda called through the door again. “It’s not in the drawer.”
“I’m coming!” Andy yelled. She stepped into the shower, pulling the curtain closed behind her. “Um. So breakfast at eleven at that diner on 7th?”
Doug sighed into the receiver. “We’ll be there. But I swear to God, Andy, if you’re not there this time…”
“I will be. I promise.” Andy took a deep breath and hoped to God that she could keep that promise. She quickly came up with an escape plan which flew out of her mind the minute she opened the door to see Miranda sitting on the edge of the bed.
“You don’t have to sneak around to use the telephone.”
Busted.
“What? No--”
“Or do you? Are you seeing someone, Andrea? Because I won’t have you gallivanting around while you’re sharing my bed.”
“No! I haven’t… with anybody else since we-- I swear to God! Doug just called to meet me for brunch. I don’t know why I hid--”
“Doug?” Miranda repeated as she whipped her head around. Andy was so startled that she leapt backwards. “That’s the one you’re always talking about, isn’t it?
“Uh huh. Doug and Lily.”
Miranda nodded once before continuing her trek to the study. She slinked into the chair at her desk and slipped her spectacles over nose. “Perhaps I could meet them sometime.” She tapped a finger on her chin as her eyes flickered.
“That would be… awkward--” Andy mumbled.
Thin lips curved into the beginnings of a smirk. “Indeed.”
Andy felt an uneasiness in the pit of her stomach that wasn’t entirely unpleasant. Miranda had allowed her to spend the night. Miranda wanted to meet her friends. This was getting serious.
~~~
By Monday morning, Andy’s cuddly weekend seemed like a lifetime away. Miranda had been called in for an impromptu meeting with Elias-Clark bigwigs Irv Ravitz and Ted Ewing.
Sure, Andy was Miranda’s right hand woman, but she knew her place, and she had no intention of getting involved with the fire between her boss and her boss’ boss. As soon as she’d finished taking notes, she hung back in the conference room and let the others continue their argument in the deserted reception area.
Irv noticed her hesitance and made the slip away from his colleagues. “You’re a brave girl,” he said, in a voice that he would probably deem ‘naughty’. “You could easily get caught in the crossfire.”
Andy smiled politely. She didn’t hate Irv, but there was always something about him that bothered her. Besides, he was always rubbing her shoulders with his chubby little stubs for fingers. She stiffened as he did just that. “Miranda’s got a lot of ammo, but she’s a straight shooter, Mr. Ravitz. Especially when she‘s passionate about something.”
The little man chuckled in delight at her words and sat down in the seat beside her. Andy supposed he liked it when she was witty. He must have also liked the way her breasts peaked out of the top of her blouse because he couldn’t tear his eyes away, didn’t even pretend to make eye contact.
“You’d like to be a writer, wouldn’t you Andy?” he asked, reluctantly dragging his gaze upward.
Andy’s stomach twisted. “Well, that’s…” He placed a sweaty palm on her knee and she jolted away. “Mr. Ravitz, I…”
“There are always positions opening up… A recommendation from me would be all you would need to--”
“Andrea has everything she needs, Irv. And what she doesn‘t have, she can get from me,” Miranda seethed in that quiet, yet terrifying tone. She was standing in the doorway now.
Irv laughed off the confrontation and made a fuss about catching up with Ted. “I’ll see you ladies at the fundraiser on Friday.” He winked at Andy once more before leaving.
“Was that the first time he propositioned you?” Miranda demanded when they stepped into the elevator a few moments later.
Andy shuddered. “He’s always creepy, but that took it to a whole new level.”
“How many times do I have to tell you not to be so nice?”
“I just--”
“Men don’t know the difference, Andrea-- if you give them an inch…”
“Okay!” Andy agreed, her voice rising a bit in pitch. “You’re right. It won‘t happen again.”
“You say that now, but how many times have we been through this? With the security guard downstairs and the pizza delivery boy from Roma’s-- and now…” she swallowed, “And now Irv.”
Andy held Miranda’s hand in her own and kissed the side of her jaw, which seemed to calm her down a bit. “I promise-- I’ll be the biggest bitch ever if that’s what it takes to get the point across. I don’t want anybody’s attention but yours.”
Miranda pursed her lips as they exited the elevator. They filed into the car waiting for them at the curb without so much as a glance at Roy as he held the door open for them.
“Irv’s so gross,” Andy sighed, once she was strapped in. “Isn’t he married, anyway? Not to mention that he’s like… twice my age. Geez.” Almost instantly, she realized her mistake. Miranda was staring out of the window, her face void of emotion. “I um… I didn’t mean it like that. You’re… you. You’re amazing.”
Miranda turned and narrowed her eyes at her assistant. “Amazingly married? Or amazingly twice your age?”
Andy gulped. Fair enough. “You know what I mean. Miranda,” she mumbled. Just as she was about to slink into a sudden and severe depression, she felt a small, soft hand cover her own. And that was all she needed in order to get through the rest of the day.
~~~
They were getting sloppy and Andy knew it. The phone calls and looks-- the ‘looks’ were the worst. Miranda could melt Andy with her ‘looks’, incapacitate her for an entire work day with them. Today was one of those days. She’d delegated all of her duties to the new girl (who was actually a boy, though not a very masculine one) and stayed in the office as much as possible only to delight in the sound of her proper name floating out of Miranda’s office.
“Andrea!” she heard for the tenth time that day. She shot up out of her seat so fast that her neck strained in rebellion.
“Yes?” she squeaked when she entered her boss’ office.
It was night now. The office was empty and Miranda didn’t look like she was in the best of moods. Andy noticed that she could see more of those wrinkles that she loved so much and a vain had popped up where a white hairline began.
“Call Cara and tell her that I won’t be home for dinner. I don’t want the girls waiting up for me again.”
Andy held off on doing as she was told. “Do you need me to stay? I can if you need me-- it’s just… I had plans and…”
“I don’t care what you do, Andrea.”
Instead of allowing herself to be offended, Andy swallowed all of her nerves down into her belly, knelt on the floor, and tucked herself under Miranda’s desk. “I don’t think you mean that,” she husked as she pulled the woman’s legs apart.
Miranda’s thighs tensed tighter with every kiss that Andy praised them with. “We don’t have time…”
But Andy knew exactly what they did and did not have time for. Her mouth went where it needed to be, and it did such a good job being there that Miranda closed her mouth and opened her legs.
They’d made it to the floor in front of the window that overlooked the city by the time they were through. Andy winced from the soreness in her knees when she finally got up to fix her face in the mirror.
Miranda, who was much older and needed extra time to recover, watched from her comfy spot on the carpet. “Come over tonight,” she blurted. “The girls will be asleep by the time we get there. We’ll be quiet-- And we can all have breakfast in the morning.”
Andy tried not to look completely horrified. “I don’t think… That’s not a… And I told you I have plans tonight.” A silver head frantically bobbed up and down in the mirror and Andy’s ears pounded in embarrassment for her lover. She turned and crawled over to Miranda, bruised knees and all. “It’s not because I don’t want to.”
Miranda snorted. “Sympathy isn’t becoming on you--”
“I’m serious! I want to spend time with you,” Andy insisted. All of a sudden things had gone inexplicably wrong, gotten miraculously complicated, and she felt like she was on her way to tears.
Sensing that the awkwardness had just gotten thicker, Miranda picked up her skirt, her stockings, and her Louboutins. She cleared her throat and started to dress.
“Miranda…”
“Don’t. I just wanted company tonight. I‘ll--”
“So come with me!” Andy blurted before she could stop herself.
Miranda paused mid thigh-high. “Well.” She swallowed. “Okay.”
And that’s how they ended up at a dive bar at 10pm on a Wednesday night with a speechless Lily and an overexcited Doug.
“So…” Andy drawled at the beginning, attempting to make it seem like everything was normal. She didn’t follow it up because, well, there was nothing to follow up with.
Miranda found Doug especially charming. They quickly launched into discussion about their favorite men’s collections for the season, while Andy and Lily stared at them in disbelief.
It ended up being painless. Lily hadn’t told Miranda what a bitch she thought she was and Doug hadn’t hyperventilated. Andy would’ve even called it a success. She would have, until Miranda had refused her offer to come over to her apartment for the rest of the night.
“I have to get back to the girls,” she insisted in between sloppy Cosmo kisses in the cab ride to Andy’s apartment.
“Rosie’s there,” Andy moaned.
“I’m not leaving my daughters with my housekeeper all night.” Miranda sounded almost care-free as she snickered at Andy’s frustration.
Andy gave into to the truth that she wasn’t getting her way tonight and tamed her hormones as much as she could. “Doug likes you,” she yawned.
“I like him,” Miranda sighed as she snuggled into Andy’s curves. The cabby had already politely averted his eyes and she intended to take full advantage. “Serena, I think,” she said out of nowhere.
“Hm…? What about her?”
“Serena. They’d be perfect. Don’t you think?”
Andy attempted to catch up. “Serena… And who?”
“Douglas, of course,” Miranda snorted, as if it was the most obvious fact… Ever.
Andy shrugged and tried not to sound as clueless as she felt. “Oh, well… I don’t know. What for?”
Miranda rolled her eyes. “After all that we’ve done together, I doubt that I have to explain what adults do, Andrea.”
“Oh. Oh! What?” the brunette doubled over as she gasped out her laughter. “Miranda, Doug’s gay!”
Miranda wasn’t amused. She stared her assistant down until the laughter died out. “Are you sure about that?”
“Are we talking about the same Doug? He’s the gayest of the gay. He’s Doug.”
“Your friend is a perfectly adjusted heterosexual male, Andrea. Perhaps he's a bit metrosexual...”
Andy couldn’t believe their conversation had made this unexpected turn. Was this even a legitimate argument? “He’s gay, Miranda.”
“I don’t understand why you would make such an assumption. He’s obviously smitten with you. Have you ever thought about how heartbreaking it is for him when you to emasculate him like you do?”
“I… What? No--”
“Has he ever had a boyfriend?” Miranda snapped. She talked right over Andy’s response. “Has he ever even expressed an attraction to another man?”
“Well, not exactly. But--”
“Has he ever even talked to you about his sexuality?”
Andy’s heart throbbed and she realized that Miranda had a point. Her face went numb as she replayed every single conversation she’d ever had with Doug. He was complimentary towards both sexes, but he’d never really talked about attraction explicitly.
“Like I said, Serena would be perfect. She might be enough to help him get his mind off of you.”
“Even if Doug was… straight, I know for a fact that he’s not into me. I’ve known him forever, Miranda.”
“Apparently not as well as you thought.” Miranda pulled out her Blackberry and began checking her emails.
Andy gulped. So, maybe Doug was the most loyal person she’d ever met. And maybe his move out to New York after college had come as a surprise. And she had to admit that he’d never really liked Nate that much. “Oh my God,” she gasped as the past six years suddenly became clear to her.
Miranda sighed as the car came to a stop in front of Andy’s building. “I told you that you have no idea about the way men work. The security guard and the pizza boy and Irv--”
“And Doug--?”
“And God only knows how many more.” Miranda’s face softened into a smirk that bordered on bitter. “You have us in the palm of your hand, yet you’re oblivious.”
“Us…? You’re in the palm of my hand, too?”
Miranda playfully snapped her eyes shut. “My, she certainly is dense.”
“Um.” Andy knew they were both buzzed from a night of alcohol-- the conversation was naturally much looser. But she was also pretty sure that this loose, natural conversation was equivalent to a love confession for Miranda. “Are you saying…?”
Miranda sat up and squinted at her assistant’s face. “You honestly have no idea what you mean to me.” It was not a question, but Andy shrugged her shoulders anyway. Miranda’s cheeks heated up as she fidgeted with her clutch. She glanced into the rearview mirror to make sure that the cabby’s attention was still elsewhere. “I don’t just fall into bed with anyone. I don’t fraternize, or hang out, or-- or offer my bed when my children are home. You… are not ordinary for me at all. I thought I’d made that clear.”
Andy’s stomach reeled. “Is that…? So, you… like me then?” Much to her surprise, Miranda’s smile widened.
“I much more than like you, Andrea.”
“Oh.” Andy slowly began to realize that these revelations weren’t exactly revelations at all. She’d always had the suspicion that she was selfish, but this was proof. She suddenly wondered if she’d ever paid attention to anyone’s feelings at all.
“Andrea,” Miranda husked.
Andy leaned in and kissed her softly before scooting up and tapping the driver’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Mister, but could you turn around?” She gave him Miranda’s address and relaxed into the dingy leather cushions as everything became clear.
“Why did you do that?”
“Because I want to have breakfast with you and the girls.”
And that was that.