Fairy Cheese humping
Spike pushed past Giles as soon as the man opened his door. He strode in like he owned the place, filling it with his presence. “So, what’s the job, Watcher? Something need killing? Or stealing?”
Giles sighed and closed the door. “Yes, do come in.”
Spike hovered over his desk and frowned at the central object. “What’s this, then?”
“This is a paying project. I’m making a mod hat.”
Spike scoffed. “Mods don’t wear pointy brown felty hats, they wear barrettes.”
Giles took the wooden hat stand with its proud occupant and placed it high on a bookcase, much as one would when placing an object out of a child’s reach.
“Moderator’s hat.”
Spike threw himself in a sprawl on the couch. “What’s it do, other than make one look silly?”
“Once I’m done, it will cause everyone within the room the pay attention to the wearer.”
“Yeah, ‘cause they’ll look silly.”
“Spike,” Giles exploded, exasperated. “It’s a traditional style and to be respected.”
Spike rolled his eyes and waved a whatever. “So what’s my job, I’m burning moonlight.”
“I need a Muggleswart mushroom.”
“That’s not traditional for that kind of spell, is it?”
“No.” Giles sat on the chair and rescued a book from under Spike’s boot heel. “They want an additional spell to enhance any, well, the way they put it, any sexy dances one does while wearing it.”
Spike barked a laugh. “Sounds like my kind of crowd. Wait. Lads or birds?”
“I’ve only met a few, but I gather mostly ladies.”
“Where do I get this muggy thingie? And I want half up front.”
Giles sighed and opened the book he had ready. He showed the woodcut illustration to Spike. “They glow faintly blueish and grow about three feet up the west side of rough bark oaks.”
“Not many of those about.”
“There are several deep in Breaker’s woods, which is why I’m hiring you. Here’s a map.”
“Right. Just need the one, then?”
“Yes. They loose their potency when sunlight hits them, much like you.”
“Hey!” Spike snatched the money and map from Giles and stood up. “Back before dawn, Watcher.”
But Spike wasn’t back before dawn.
During the day, Breaker’s wood was safer, so Giles took a copy of the map and followed Spike’s trail. At times, Spike traveled with all the finesse of a Mac truck and he wasn’t hard to track. When Giles found the fairy ring with a deep boot print over a squashed mushroom, his heart sank.
Moving quickly, Giles retrieved the components for a spell that would hopefully lead Spike out of the ring after the sunset. He cast the spell, set the lure, then returned home to wait.
Shortly after sunset, Giles heard a tapping at his window. There was a faint glow on the outside of the pane, so he approached cautiously.
Even though he’d been half expecting it, Giles was startled by seeing a six inch tall, winged Spike standing on the windowsill and clutching a mushroom.
He hurriedly opened the door and a pale yellowish figure flew in and landed on his desk.
“Spike, are you all right?” he asked.
Spike threw down the mushroom and flew up to hover a few feet before Giles’ face. “No I’m not sodding all right! I’m a bleeding fairy!”
“Calm down.” Giles couldn’t help but be fascinated by the tiny, naked, glowing form before him. Fairies were elusive and would never stand still to let anyone study them.
“Calm down!” Spike zipped closer and stared Giles in one eye. “I’ve spent the whole day not eating, drinking or fucking anything. And you want me to calm down?”
“We… we’ll fix this, wait, did you say fucking?”
“Yeah. NOT fucking. I know enough that if you get in a fairy ring you shouldn’t partake of anything, and there was some fine fairy tail being offered me.”
“Oh, yes, sorry.” Giles stepped back and took off his glasses.
“It’s your fault I’m a fairy, sodding change me back!”
“It’s not that simple.”
“I got your bloody mushroom, now change me back.”
“I… I can’t right off. You have to give me as much that I help you escape.”
Spike flew over to Giles’ globe and pushed it off the shelf. “Get busy!”
“Okay! Okay! Calm down.”
Spike grabbed the spine of a book and pulled it off the shelf before Giles could reach him. “Stop telling me to calm down!”
“I’ll… I’ll get you some food.”
Spike dropped another book, enjoying the violence. “What about sex? You going to get me some of that? Or should I find my own?” Spike flew up to where the pointy mod hat stood on a shelf and landed on its brim.
“Spike. Please. I beg you, don’t harm the hat.”
Spike leered. “Bit of fairy spunk can only add to the sexy dance, yeah?” He grabbed the point of the hat and started humping the soft felt.
“Oh dear lord,” Giles muttered and hurried to find some way to distract or trap Spike.
++++
Spike had a grand time exploring the various textures in Giles’ apartment, humping many of the Watcher’s prized possessions, before the scent of food drew him to the kitchen. Being a fairy and not a vampire, the blood didn’t interest him, but sweets did. He ate all the chips out of a cookie and gnawed half way through a sugar cube. He was so engrossed, he barely noticed when Giles put the dome of the cheese tray over him and secured it with duct tape.
He found himself trapped, but a nap after a meal didn’t sound bad. Besides, even he knew the sooner he left Giles alone, the sooner he’d fix the problem.
But now he was awake, horny again and trapped with few options. It didn’t take long before he found his solution.
Funny how he’d never before noticed how sensual this particular texture was. It was smooth, faintly oily, slightly yielding, and the holes! He crawled over the wedge of baby Swiss cheese until he found what he sought.
There was a hole in the cheese that was just under the surface.
“There we go, love,” he crooned. “This won’t hurt much. And it will be so worth it for both of us.”
He lined up his hard fairy cock and pushed into the cheese. The skin parted and his member slipped in just as he’d hoped.
+++
“Giles, I got your juice boxes… Great holy moly!” Xander stopped dead just inside the door to Giles’ apartment and took in the disorder. Books were thrown off their shelves, cups and dishes had apparently been thrown against the walls and the feathers from several pillows dusted it all. Here and there was a faint shimmer on apparently random objects.
The Watcher sat slumped in an armchair, holding a glass of amber liquid. “Do close the door before something else flies in,” he said calmly.
“Spike did all this?” Xander asked as he closed the door. “Tiny, winged, fairy Spike?”
“Yes, he did. Apparently he blames me for his punishment. As if I was the one who told him to stomp through the toadstool ring.”
Xander tilted his head and looked at the strange brown hat on the desk from the corner of his eye. Its tip glowed so faintly, he wondered if he was seeing things. “And what’s that faintly glowly effect all over everything?”
“Lord. Don’t ask.”
Xander frowned, but didn’t dare provoke Giles. The man had suffered enough. “Where is he?”
“I finally managed to capture him under the cheese dome.”
Xander picked his way through the scattered books and broken glass to the kitchen counter where the glass dome sat.
The glass was fogged up and it took Xander a minute to make out the tiny, nude, winged shape the angry forest fey had transformed the big bad into. It took just half a minute after that before he figured out what he was doing to a wedge of cheese.
“Giles… Is… Is he having sex with the cheese?”
The Watcher sighed and put the cool glass against his forehead. “Yes. I tried baiting a trap with blood, but that didn’t work. Seems he likes sweets and cheese.”
Xander tried to stifle his laughter, he really did. “He’s frottaging the fromage.”
“Xander!” Giles snapped. “Don’t be ridiculous.” He took a calming gulp of his scotch. “That’s not French cheese, it’s Swiss.”
“Then I guess he’s humping the freedom cheese.” Xander giggled.
Giles finished his Scotch, debated explaining to Xander “freedom cheese” was another term for French, then settled for refilling his glass and wondering how quickly he could find the right book to end the latest Hellmouth nightmare.
Giles sighed and closed the door. “Yes, do come in.”
Spike hovered over his desk and frowned at the central object. “What’s this, then?”
“This is a paying project. I’m making a mod hat.”
Spike scoffed. “Mods don’t wear pointy brown felty hats, they wear barrettes.”
Giles took the wooden hat stand with its proud occupant and placed it high on a bookcase, much as one would when placing an object out of a child’s reach.
“Moderator’s hat.”
Spike threw himself in a sprawl on the couch. “What’s it do, other than make one look silly?”
“Once I’m done, it will cause everyone within the room the pay attention to the wearer.”
“Yeah, ‘cause they’ll look silly.”
“Spike,” Giles exploded, exasperated. “It’s a traditional style and to be respected.”
Spike rolled his eyes and waved a whatever. “So what’s my job, I’m burning moonlight.”
“I need a Muggleswart mushroom.”
“That’s not traditional for that kind of spell, is it?”
“No.” Giles sat on the chair and rescued a book from under Spike’s boot heel. “They want an additional spell to enhance any, well, the way they put it, any sexy dances one does while wearing it.”
Spike barked a laugh. “Sounds like my kind of crowd. Wait. Lads or birds?”
“I’ve only met a few, but I gather mostly ladies.”
“Where do I get this muggy thingie? And I want half up front.”
Giles sighed and opened the book he had ready. He showed the woodcut illustration to Spike. “They glow faintly blueish and grow about three feet up the west side of rough bark oaks.”
“Not many of those about.”
“There are several deep in Breaker’s woods, which is why I’m hiring you. Here’s a map.”
“Right. Just need the one, then?”
“Yes. They loose their potency when sunlight hits them, much like you.”
“Hey!” Spike snatched the money and map from Giles and stood up. “Back before dawn, Watcher.”
But Spike wasn’t back before dawn.
During the day, Breaker’s wood was safer, so Giles took a copy of the map and followed Spike’s trail. At times, Spike traveled with all the finesse of a Mac truck and he wasn’t hard to track. When Giles found the fairy ring with a deep boot print over a squashed mushroom, his heart sank.
Moving quickly, Giles retrieved the components for a spell that would hopefully lead Spike out of the ring after the sunset. He cast the spell, set the lure, then returned home to wait.
Shortly after sunset, Giles heard a tapping at his window. There was a faint glow on the outside of the pane, so he approached cautiously.
Even though he’d been half expecting it, Giles was startled by seeing a six inch tall, winged Spike standing on the windowsill and clutching a mushroom.
He hurriedly opened the door and a pale yellowish figure flew in and landed on his desk.
“Spike, are you all right?” he asked.
Spike threw down the mushroom and flew up to hover a few feet before Giles’ face. “No I’m not sodding all right! I’m a bleeding fairy!”
“Calm down.” Giles couldn’t help but be fascinated by the tiny, naked, glowing form before him. Fairies were elusive and would never stand still to let anyone study them.
“Calm down!” Spike zipped closer and stared Giles in one eye. “I’ve spent the whole day not eating, drinking or fucking anything. And you want me to calm down?”
“We… we’ll fix this, wait, did you say fucking?”
“Yeah. NOT fucking. I know enough that if you get in a fairy ring you shouldn’t partake of anything, and there was some fine fairy tail being offered me.”
“Oh, yes, sorry.” Giles stepped back and took off his glasses.
“It’s your fault I’m a fairy, sodding change me back!”
“It’s not that simple.”
“I got your bloody mushroom, now change me back.”
“I… I can’t right off. You have to give me as much that I help you escape.”
Spike flew over to Giles’ globe and pushed it off the shelf. “Get busy!”
“Okay! Okay! Calm down.”
Spike grabbed the spine of a book and pulled it off the shelf before Giles could reach him. “Stop telling me to calm down!”
“I’ll… I’ll get you some food.”
Spike dropped another book, enjoying the violence. “What about sex? You going to get me some of that? Or should I find my own?” Spike flew up to where the pointy mod hat stood on a shelf and landed on its brim.
“Spike. Please. I beg you, don’t harm the hat.”
Spike leered. “Bit of fairy spunk can only add to the sexy dance, yeah?” He grabbed the point of the hat and started humping the soft felt.
“Oh dear lord,” Giles muttered and hurried to find some way to distract or trap Spike.
++++
Spike had a grand time exploring the various textures in Giles’ apartment, humping many of the Watcher’s prized possessions, before the scent of food drew him to the kitchen. Being a fairy and not a vampire, the blood didn’t interest him, but sweets did. He ate all the chips out of a cookie and gnawed half way through a sugar cube. He was so engrossed, he barely noticed when Giles put the dome of the cheese tray over him and secured it with duct tape.
He found himself trapped, but a nap after a meal didn’t sound bad. Besides, even he knew the sooner he left Giles alone, the sooner he’d fix the problem.
But now he was awake, horny again and trapped with few options. It didn’t take long before he found his solution.
Funny how he’d never before noticed how sensual this particular texture was. It was smooth, faintly oily, slightly yielding, and the holes! He crawled over the wedge of baby Swiss cheese until he found what he sought.
There was a hole in the cheese that was just under the surface.
“There we go, love,” he crooned. “This won’t hurt much. And it will be so worth it for both of us.”
He lined up his hard fairy cock and pushed into the cheese. The skin parted and his member slipped in just as he’d hoped.
+++
“Giles, I got your juice boxes… Great holy moly!” Xander stopped dead just inside the door to Giles’ apartment and took in the disorder. Books were thrown off their shelves, cups and dishes had apparently been thrown against the walls and the feathers from several pillows dusted it all. Here and there was a faint shimmer on apparently random objects.
The Watcher sat slumped in an armchair, holding a glass of amber liquid. “Do close the door before something else flies in,” he said calmly.
“Spike did all this?” Xander asked as he closed the door. “Tiny, winged, fairy Spike?”
“Yes, he did. Apparently he blames me for his punishment. As if I was the one who told him to stomp through the toadstool ring.”
Xander tilted his head and looked at the strange brown hat on the desk from the corner of his eye. Its tip glowed so faintly, he wondered if he was seeing things. “And what’s that faintly glowly effect all over everything?”
“Lord. Don’t ask.”
Xander frowned, but didn’t dare provoke Giles. The man had suffered enough. “Where is he?”
“I finally managed to capture him under the cheese dome.”
Xander picked his way through the scattered books and broken glass to the kitchen counter where the glass dome sat.
The glass was fogged up and it took Xander a minute to make out the tiny, nude, winged shape the angry forest fey had transformed the big bad into. It took just half a minute after that before he figured out what he was doing to a wedge of cheese.
“Giles… Is… Is he having sex with the cheese?”
The Watcher sighed and put the cool glass against his forehead. “Yes. I tried baiting a trap with blood, but that didn’t work. Seems he likes sweets and cheese.”
Xander tried to stifle his laughter, he really did. “He’s frottaging the fromage.”
“Xander!” Giles snapped. “Don’t be ridiculous.” He took a calming gulp of his scotch. “That’s not French cheese, it’s Swiss.”
“Then I guess he’s humping the freedom cheese.” Xander giggled.
Giles finished his Scotch, debated explaining to Xander “freedom cheese” was another term for French, then settled for refilling his glass and wondering how quickly he could find the right book to end the latest Hellmouth nightmare.