Taste of my Medicine (Rachel/Ivy)
Title: Taste of my Medicine (part 1)
Fandom: The Hollows - Rachel Morgan Series by Kim Harrison
Pairing: Rachel/Ivy
Words: 4306
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: To be safe, lets say everything lol
Copyright: KH owns everything I own my laptop.
Summary: It's flu season and Rachel gets sick. Ivy tries to play nurse to a very irritating patient
A/N: The I'm actually sick right now (thankfully not from the flu lol) and I thought I'd write this up just in time for flu season. Third time writing NC17 so I hope it goes well! Had to put this into two parts because LJ is annoying about length. Enjoy!
My whole body hurt. The blankets gently clung to my form, quietly smothering me. The medication was working: they told me so. I had to keep taking the medication in order to get better. Mommy promised me that when I felt good she’d take me to the beach. I didn’t care about the beach I just wanted to go home. I wanted to go home. I really just wanted to go home. But my body hurt so bad and I wasn’t getting any better. They were liars, all of them. We knew, we knew we were dying and nothing could help it. It was too hot under the blanket; it was too heavy and rough. I felt like throwing up. And they wouldn’t make it stop, they would just keep giving me medicine and I will always feel bad. I want to go home... please let me go home... mommy... mommy...
“Mmf!” I twitched violently, my sensitive muscles protesting loudly. Normally a nightmare would have me sitting upright in my bed, trying to gather my bearings. But I wasn’t in my bed, I was on the couch. Besides, I was hurting so damn bad just twitching sent me reeling so I wasn’t about to sit up voluntarily any time soon.
Everything had been fine a few hours ago but then Ivy -my tall, dark and sexy vampire roomie - perked up when she sensed my body temperature rise. I dismissed it, uncomfortable with her creepy vampire senses. Until, of course, I started getting the shakes and my body started to hurt. I tried to keep it from her, knowing how smug she would get when she realised I was sick. Not only had she informed me that there was worry about a new strain of the flu but she had been nagging me nonstop to get the vaccine before flu season. I didn’t go. I hated needles, had too many of them when I was little. Too much medicine.
A wave of nausea wracked through me and for a moment I thought I was going to throw up all over Ivy’s expensive couch. I hated that damn dream, remembering the hospital and how it felt to have Rosewood Syndrome. I had been dying and if it wasn’t for some illegal genetic tinkering I wouldn’t have been alive to worry about staining the couch with vomit. But the memories always got so damn fresh when I got sick.
I took a deep breath, trying to control the queasiness. It wasn’t that I was worried about Ivy’s reaction. Once the smugness wore off, and I was throwing up, she had softened up on me considerably. It was part of her personality and part of her natural vampire instincts. Vampires were very gentle and kind to the sick; it was really bad form to harass them.
Of course, I couldn’t allow her to coddle me. It wasn’t my nature to accept help. So instead of allowing her to take care of me I pushed her away, guaranteeing a cranky vampire. She had been pissy with me all day because I kept her at bay. It drove her nuts and she wasted no time telling me so.
“Rachel, why must you ALWAYS force me to go against my instincts?” She snarled.
I shifted on the couch; unable to discern which aches had popped up because I was sleeping awkwardly and which ones were simply from another fever. Jenks and his family were staying in the garden away from me. He didn't want his family growing ill and was particularly worried about me infecting Matalina in her state. It wasn’t cold enough for them to need to be inside. All I had left was Ivy.
Why did I push her away when I knew she wouldn’t hurt me? This was probably one of the few times I could trust her not to vamp out in my presence.
Because you hate taking help from people. Because you can’t handle nurses. Because weakness frustrates you. Because sickness freaks you out.
I nodded tiredly at my unspoken thoughts but they refused to stop there.
Because you want Ivy to help. Because you want her to touch you. Because you want her as close as possible. Because needing her so much freaks you out.
My already unstable body temperature rose in embarrassment. I really didn’t need to think about that sort of thing right then. It wasn’t fair; it had to be the damn fever.
But it wasn’t, not completely. My feelings for Ivy had always confused me and I had begun hoping that maybe it was all a result of how much time we spent together. After all, we had gone through so much it was only natural that I start having strong feelings for her. And it didn’t help that she was a high blood living vampire, which meant she was basically an extremely sensual goddess with a propensity for violence and death. Both of which I seemed to find very appealing.
I was smiling softly to myself, laughing internally at my own ridiculousness. Without my awareness, thoughts of Ivy were making me relax. My body sank back into the couch and my mind drifted off to sleep.
It always smelled so clean here. They told me they were scrubbing away the germs to protect us but I knew better. They were cleaning the life away. They were cleaning up our marks and our memories. Eric went away; they were cleaning up his room so we wouldn’t ever see him in it again. Like he was never here to begin with. Everything needs to be clean here. They’re going to clean me away too one day.
My eyes shot open again and I realised I had broken out into a cold sweat. The shaking was vicious this time and my teeth chattered. I didn't want to be alone. I didn’t want to go to sleep again. Sleeping meant dreaming and I couldn’t handle it right then. Why didn’t I take some pills? Ivy had been trying to pressure me into taking medication. I felt panicky and dizzy.
I didn’t want to be alone.
I mouthed her name, frustrated that I was so pained and exhausted I couldn’t speak and I was confused as to why I wanted her to come over.
“I-Ivy...” it came out as a weak, pathetic whisper.
Mommy...
I blanched and tried to fling the covers off of me, my mind dazed from heat.
“Ivy...” I finally managed a pitiful whimper.
She wasn’t going to hear me and the blanket was going to be the death of me I knew it. Why didn't I listen to her? As I absorbed myself in agonizing over this I was quite startled when cool skin came in contact with my flushed cheek.
“You’re having another fever. Can I give you something for it now?” I had a feeling the chills that went up my spine weren’t from the fever but from the silkiness of her voice. She was wearing her flimsy black satin robe, the one that ended so high up her thighs that calling it revealing would be an understatement. I stared at her toned long legs for a moment too long.
“Rachel?” I awoke from my gawking, unaware I had even been doing it in the first place.
“Ivy...” She blinked, surprised by the joy in my voice.
“Yes... I’m here.”
“Didn't think you would hear.”
“I heard you the first time; I just thought it was my imagination... I’m sorry. I should have gotten up sooner.” She sounded pained, probably beating herself up for not coming to my rescue fast enough.
“No... no medicine.” Her eyes narrowed at me and I realised she was about to snarl at me if I didn't give her something to do. Then she could feel she was helping me. “Water? Please?” I hated asking for help but I didn't want her to leave or have a hissy fit.
She had paused and for one moment I thought she was going to make me repeat myself but instead she turned on her heel and left toward the kitchen. Something clenched within me at the brief glimpses I got of her firm butt. My fever must have been really high because I wasn’t thinking clearly.
She returned to me quickly with a glass and before I could protest she helped prop my head up for the water. I managed to sip a small amount before turning away. My brain felt like it was sloshing around in liquid. It didn't help that Ivy’s intoxicating smell hit me straight in the face and her breasts were only inches away from my face. This would have troubled me if I could think logically.
“Is there anything else I can do?”
“Mmm?” My eyes drooped. I liked her nearby; she was warm and smelled really, really good. “No...”
She gently placed my head back on the pillow and my eyes shot open.
“Wait!”
“What?” She sounded strained.
“I... uh... I... can you...” I felt so damn crappy and tired but I couldn’t sleep properly with all the nightmares.
I won’t take meds but... would it really be so bad to ask her to help me? Is it really worth my while to deprive myself of some help?
I wanted her to stay.
“Could you... sleep here? By me?” I was far from lucid but it appeared as if my choices were becoming more rational. How odd, I thought to myself.
“Oh... alright...” I could tell I made her uncomfortable with the request. Generally, we tried to give each other as much space as possible to avoid mixing our scents together. It drove her insane and it usually made me really nervous. But I was sick and her instincts warred within her: to take care of me at the risk of eating me?
About two minutes later my dark haired roommate wandered back into the living room with her blanket and a pillow, settling herself on the couch across from me. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted but I wasn’t about to admit that I wanted her snuggled up against me.
“Thank you.”
“No problem. Goodnight Rachel.”
“Night.”
I had nudged the blankets off me, trying to cool off my fevered body and go to sleep. All I had on me was a tank top and panties so it wasn’t very long before I ended up putting the blanket back on me: too hot and too cold, with no middle ground.
I managed to doze lightly, trying to ignore Ivy’s tossing and turning. Cracking an eyelid I watched her stretch her lithe body, trying to find a comfortable spot and failing. She had even grabbed some of the couch pillows to help her but it didn't work. I cracked a smile when I realised the vampire was so pampered in her bedroom of silk with its queen sized bed and many luxurious pillows that she couldn’t handle sleeping on the couch. She was going to be massively irritable in the morning if she didn't get some rest.
“Ivy?”
“What.” It wasn’t so much a question as it was a snippy acknowledgement.
“Do you want to go back to bed?” I tried to stifle a laugh, my attention on her taking away from my pain. I swear she dampened my fever with her very presence.
“I want to... be there for you. But why the hell can’t you sleep in your own bed?”
I bit my bottom lip and contemplated answering. I didn't normally like to talk about my childhood but considering what I was planning to ask of her next, I figured a little pity would work my way. Sucking up my discomfort I decided to be honest.
“You remember how I survived the Rosewood Syndrome?”
“Yes...”
“Well... I’m... I don’t feel safe when I’m sick. When I was little, and the side effects from the meds were really bad, or I relapsed... I’d always be put alone in a room somewhere. So that the other kids wouldn’t be disturbed. Whenever I got sick at home, I’d sleep in the living room or with my mom and dad. Usually with them, they didn't like to leave me alone in my room either.” I blinked away tears I hadn’t expected to appear.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright. But you can’t sleep here.”
“What? No, I’m fine. It’s fine.”
I smiled at her effort then struggled weakly to get up off the couch. She was at my side so quickly I didn't hear her move. Envious of her vampiric speed, I made a face as she wrapped her arms around me to help me up.
“What’s wrong? You don’t need to get back to bed. Or do you need to use the bathroom?”
My face went red at the idea of her helping me to the toilet.
“No.” I grit my teeth. “I’m going to your bed.”
She nearly dropped me, my soft whimper bringing her back to reality before she could let me crumple over.
“This is ridiculous Rachel! You’re going to take something. I don’t care if it’s just a goddamn Tylenol. Something for the fever scrambling your brain.” She snapped at me.
I didn't know what to tell her. The last thing I needed was to spend the night discussing my hang-ups over medicine, so instead I just looked her straight in the eyes. I didn't know what she saw looking back at her but her gaze softened.
“I just think it would be easier if we were in your room. Then you wouldn’t be surrounded by my smell. Might be some mingling... but I’m sick and I think you fed yesterday...”
“I did... but I don’t like this.”
“I don’t want to be alone.” My voice trembled but I wasn’t going to beg, if she really didn't want me in her room I would go back to my own and just suck it up. She took so long responding that I started gathering my resolve. It wouldn’t be so bad; I’d pass out eventually and stop dreaming...
A moment of vertigo gripped me and it took a second for me to understand why.
Ivy had lifted me in her arms, carrying me close to her body, and walked me over to her bedroom bridal style.
Feeling a bit mortified, I was grateful when she set me on her comfy bed carefully, then darted back to the living room to grab her things.
When she returned she tucked me in, both of us silent from the tension. I didn't even have the presence of mind to swat her away as she fluffed my pillow. Then she promptly settled onto the farthest side of the bed with her back to me.
“Umm... goodnight Ivy.”
“Goodnight.” She replied sharply, not from anger but repressed feeling.
“I owe you.” I felt bad. It was selfish of me, asking her to be so close to me when I knew she wanted to be much closer. I knew she wanted so much more from me, to be her lover, and I denied her time and again. Though, if I was being honest with myself, I was finding it more and more difficult to remember just why I kept saying no.
“Just go to sleep Rachel.”
I didn't need encouragement. The smell of her, the knowledge of her presence, and the exhaustion from the lack of sleep hit me all at once and I almost melted into her decadent sheets as I fell asleep.
*****
I awoke a short while later, not from any nightmare but because the persistent ache in my body had intensified. Turning on my other side in an effort to shift the pain I accidentally bumped into something soft.
My eyes adjusted in the darkness to see Ivy sprawled out beside me on her back. In her sleep she had pushed me to the edge of the bed and managed to steal some of the blanket. I hadn’t slept deeply or long enough to forget where I was so Ivy’s appearance didn't freak me out.
I took a moment to openly stare at her. It was rare for me to have such freedom, normally she was so guarded, and I was so nervous of her misinterpreting my intentions, that I barely took the time to appreciate the way she looked - not that it ever fully hindered me.
She took my breath away. That powerful body, with its vicious speed and strength, sunk into the bed looking fragile. It was testament to her vampire nature that she stole some of my blanket from me but didn't actually wrap it around her. She just wanted to claim it as her territory, leaving most of the blanket at her feet, her upper body exposed. Sometime in the night she had changed into a more conservative outfit. Conservative for Ivy: her shorts were basically underwear with more fabric and the spaghetti strap top barely hid her midriff. Of course that might have been because she had stretched in her sleep, so the shirt rode up to show off the smooth expanse of her abdomen.
My mouth watered thoughtlessly when I realised she had quite a bit of definition. A six pack no less. I watched, hypnotized, as her steady breathing teased me with the sight. She would breathe in and her stomach would expand, her perfect skin flexing to hide the taut muscle. With a puff of breath the skin would settle back and the hard muscle rose to the surface once more.
I could feel her stomach under my fingertips, the delicious texture of her supple skin made my mouth water. I froze, paralyzed with shock when I realised I had literally reached out and put my hand on her abdomen. My eyes darted to her face, relieved to see she was still sleeping. Her breathing was even, her head tilted back slightly and her expression peaceful.
What the hell am I doing?
I flattened my hand over her stomach, her skin cool under my warm touch. Without questioning myself I started making slow circles over her stomach, dazed by the feel of her. I traced the bumps of muscle with the pads of my fingers, trying to be careful as I was unsure of whether she was ticklish. When my fingers accidently brushed against the edge of her shorts I inhaled sharply, surprised by the strong pull between my legs. I couldn’t believe it but I was wet.
Ivy hadn’t reacted, possibly in the deepest part of her sleep cycle or just exhausted from worrying about me, I wasn’t sure.
I had lost my mind. It had to be the only explanation. I should have taken some meds but it was too late, I had fried my brain with my own body heat and was contemplating things I had worked really hard to avoid thinking about.
Why?
I bit my lip but couldn’t stop my hand from moving. It didn't go south; it wouldn’t have felt right touching her there when she wasn’t conscious.
But heading for her breasts is alright?
Recently, I had been trying to pay more attention to my thoughts, to think things through before acting out and to stop treating my brain as if it were merely a mushy object that my skull needed to maintain its shape. But at that moment I really wanted my thoughts to just shut the hell up. The unspoken thoughts that were moving my hand seemed much more enjoyable and damn it I was tired of pretending they weren’t there.
You’ll hurt Ivy...
And that made me pause, my fingers just centimetres away from the underside of her breast, resting on her ribcage. I was playing with her again wasn’t I? In the morning I’d find I did everything wrong and had hurt her. I would blame the fever and I knew it.
If she ever so much as thought about doing this to you, you’d have moved out of the church so damn fast an undead vamp would have lost sight of you. How dare you touch her like this when you would have torn her head off for even considering such a thing?
Guilt washed over me and I reluctantly removed my hand, trying to ignore the sadness and agony that struck me hard at the loss of contact. I was wet, horny, and on the verge of taking advantage of her. I suddenly felt sick for reasons completely unrelated to the flu.
She didn't deserve my stupidity, especially after I had tormented her all day by refusing her help, then demanding that she wake up and take care of me in the middle of the night when she was trying to sleep. The worst part was asking her to let me sleep in her room, making her feel guilty enough that she helped me onto the bed. I had asked a lot of her, knowing she wanted me so much, demanding that instead of a peaceful sleep she should fight her instincts with my weak form next to her. And now? Now I was groping her while she slept?
You’re a selfish fucking idiot.
I scrambled to get out of the bed as quickly and quietly as I could. I had to leave, go back to my own bed and stop being such a fool. But I got up too rapidly, a wave of nausea and dizziness disoriented me and I ended up flopping off the bed in a tangle of sheets.
“R-Rache?” Her grey silk voice ran over my skin like a warm waterfall, intoxicatingly beautiful even drowsy. “What’s wrong?”
I heard her get up and walk over to me, still too sleepy to be coordinated enough to go vampy. I refused to move, feeling so damn miserable.
“I’m ok, go back to sleep.”
“You’re on the floor.”
“Yes. I can see that.” I almost laughed in frustration.
“Ok...” I listened to her yawn, then she calmly leaned down and picked me up in her arms. The heat of her body seeped into me, comforting and safe. My beloved heroine.
“No... put me down.” I felt tears well up in my eyes. I felt so damn guilty.
“I am...” she muttered as she hovered me over the bed.
“No - I want to go to my room.” My voice wavered, feeling hurt and stupid; I instinctively snuggled deeper in her arms.
“You want us to move to your room?” I could hear the mild alarm in her voice and at that I did laugh. A harsh, angry laugh. The aches and pains that had disappeared while I was absorbed in touching her had come back.
“You sleep here; I’ll sleep in my room.”
“Oh.” She froze and I frowned at how rigid her body had gone. “Did... did I do something in my sleep?” I could hear the disgust and fear in her voice.
“No...” I sniffled, feeling like an epic asshole. She was worried she had molested me while we slept. But I was the pervert. Shit.
“You’re crying...” There was no emotion in her voice and I knew she had just decided she was going to blame herself. Before I could protest we were already about to pass through the hallway.
“Wait!”
Surprised by my rather impassioned outburst and the sudden influx of powerful emotion, she almost fumbled when she stopped. She looked at me, I couldn’t tell if her eyes were black but I was sure they were probably dilating.
She watched me expectantly and I knew she was waiting for me to explain myself. I took that moment to inappropriately admire the way she was holding me like I weighed nothing. Ivy had very strong arms. Like her strong abs. Goose bumps broke out alone my skin, the desire I tried to stifle rose to the surface and Ivy inhaled sharply, swaying slightly.
Oops. What I was going to tell her certainly wasn’t going to help matters.
“It’s not your fault.” I mumbled, watching as she tried to reassert her self control. “What happened...” I blushed so hard I felt as if my face had to be giving off steam. “You were sleeping... and I kind of, started to...”
Tell her you played with her hair. You rubbed her shoulder? You farted?
“I started touching your stomach...” Humiliation left such a bitter taste in my mouth and I didn't notice her hopeful surprise. “It was my fever,” I added, panicking as she sniffed the air, no doubt smelling the lust I left after rubbing her abs. “I wasn’t thinking clearly. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I did it. I wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t for the fever. I was half asleep!”
Ivy’s eyes locked with my own then she turned away.
“Alright.” My heart dropped at the disappointment in her voice. I didn't meant to, but I had implied that I wouldn’t have touched her or felt anything if I wasn’t feverish. I wasn’t ready to explore just why I needed to touch her, but what I meant to say is that I would have never crossed the line and touched her without her permission. I bit my tongue, not wanting to make things worse.
Her vampiric speed was back and I found myself back in my bed before I registered movement.
“Ivy...”
“Rachel, I really need my sleep. I hope you get some rest but I really can’t stay up all night and deal with this. Either take some of those fucking pills and get over your emotional baggage, or wallow in your nightmares.” She snapped at me, startling me when she actually used a curse word.
She closed the door silently and I was left in the darkness of my room.
Part Two
Fandom: The Hollows - Rachel Morgan Series by Kim Harrison
Pairing: Rachel/Ivy
Words: 4306
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: To be safe, lets say everything lol
Copyright: KH owns everything I own my laptop.
Summary: It's flu season and Rachel gets sick. Ivy tries to play nurse to a very irritating patient
A/N: The I'm actually sick right now (thankfully not from the flu lol) and I thought I'd write this up just in time for flu season. Third time writing NC17 so I hope it goes well! Had to put this into two parts because LJ is annoying about length. Enjoy!
My whole body hurt. The blankets gently clung to my form, quietly smothering me. The medication was working: they told me so. I had to keep taking the medication in order to get better. Mommy promised me that when I felt good she’d take me to the beach. I didn’t care about the beach I just wanted to go home. I wanted to go home. I really just wanted to go home. But my body hurt so bad and I wasn’t getting any better. They were liars, all of them. We knew, we knew we were dying and nothing could help it. It was too hot under the blanket; it was too heavy and rough. I felt like throwing up. And they wouldn’t make it stop, they would just keep giving me medicine and I will always feel bad. I want to go home... please let me go home... mommy... mommy...
“Mmf!” I twitched violently, my sensitive muscles protesting loudly. Normally a nightmare would have me sitting upright in my bed, trying to gather my bearings. But I wasn’t in my bed, I was on the couch. Besides, I was hurting so damn bad just twitching sent me reeling so I wasn’t about to sit up voluntarily any time soon.
Everything had been fine a few hours ago but then Ivy -my tall, dark and sexy vampire roomie - perked up when she sensed my body temperature rise. I dismissed it, uncomfortable with her creepy vampire senses. Until, of course, I started getting the shakes and my body started to hurt. I tried to keep it from her, knowing how smug she would get when she realised I was sick. Not only had she informed me that there was worry about a new strain of the flu but she had been nagging me nonstop to get the vaccine before flu season. I didn’t go. I hated needles, had too many of them when I was little. Too much medicine.
A wave of nausea wracked through me and for a moment I thought I was going to throw up all over Ivy’s expensive couch. I hated that damn dream, remembering the hospital and how it felt to have Rosewood Syndrome. I had been dying and if it wasn’t for some illegal genetic tinkering I wouldn’t have been alive to worry about staining the couch with vomit. But the memories always got so damn fresh when I got sick.
I took a deep breath, trying to control the queasiness. It wasn’t that I was worried about Ivy’s reaction. Once the smugness wore off, and I was throwing up, she had softened up on me considerably. It was part of her personality and part of her natural vampire instincts. Vampires were very gentle and kind to the sick; it was really bad form to harass them.
Of course, I couldn’t allow her to coddle me. It wasn’t my nature to accept help. So instead of allowing her to take care of me I pushed her away, guaranteeing a cranky vampire. She had been pissy with me all day because I kept her at bay. It drove her nuts and she wasted no time telling me so.
“Rachel, why must you ALWAYS force me to go against my instincts?” She snarled.
I shifted on the couch; unable to discern which aches had popped up because I was sleeping awkwardly and which ones were simply from another fever. Jenks and his family were staying in the garden away from me. He didn't want his family growing ill and was particularly worried about me infecting Matalina in her state. It wasn’t cold enough for them to need to be inside. All I had left was Ivy.
Why did I push her away when I knew she wouldn’t hurt me? This was probably one of the few times I could trust her not to vamp out in my presence.
Because you hate taking help from people. Because you can’t handle nurses. Because weakness frustrates you. Because sickness freaks you out.
I nodded tiredly at my unspoken thoughts but they refused to stop there.
Because you want Ivy to help. Because you want her to touch you. Because you want her as close as possible. Because needing her so much freaks you out.
My already unstable body temperature rose in embarrassment. I really didn’t need to think about that sort of thing right then. It wasn’t fair; it had to be the damn fever.
But it wasn’t, not completely. My feelings for Ivy had always confused me and I had begun hoping that maybe it was all a result of how much time we spent together. After all, we had gone through so much it was only natural that I start having strong feelings for her. And it didn’t help that she was a high blood living vampire, which meant she was basically an extremely sensual goddess with a propensity for violence and death. Both of which I seemed to find very appealing.
I was smiling softly to myself, laughing internally at my own ridiculousness. Without my awareness, thoughts of Ivy were making me relax. My body sank back into the couch and my mind drifted off to sleep.
It always smelled so clean here. They told me they were scrubbing away the germs to protect us but I knew better. They were cleaning the life away. They were cleaning up our marks and our memories. Eric went away; they were cleaning up his room so we wouldn’t ever see him in it again. Like he was never here to begin with. Everything needs to be clean here. They’re going to clean me away too one day.
My eyes shot open again and I realised I had broken out into a cold sweat. The shaking was vicious this time and my teeth chattered. I didn't want to be alone. I didn’t want to go to sleep again. Sleeping meant dreaming and I couldn’t handle it right then. Why didn’t I take some pills? Ivy had been trying to pressure me into taking medication. I felt panicky and dizzy.
I didn’t want to be alone.
I mouthed her name, frustrated that I was so pained and exhausted I couldn’t speak and I was confused as to why I wanted her to come over.
“I-Ivy...” it came out as a weak, pathetic whisper.
Mommy...
I blanched and tried to fling the covers off of me, my mind dazed from heat.
“Ivy...” I finally managed a pitiful whimper.
She wasn’t going to hear me and the blanket was going to be the death of me I knew it. Why didn't I listen to her? As I absorbed myself in agonizing over this I was quite startled when cool skin came in contact with my flushed cheek.
“You’re having another fever. Can I give you something for it now?” I had a feeling the chills that went up my spine weren’t from the fever but from the silkiness of her voice. She was wearing her flimsy black satin robe, the one that ended so high up her thighs that calling it revealing would be an understatement. I stared at her toned long legs for a moment too long.
“Rachel?” I awoke from my gawking, unaware I had even been doing it in the first place.
“Ivy...” She blinked, surprised by the joy in my voice.
“Yes... I’m here.”
“Didn't think you would hear.”
“I heard you the first time; I just thought it was my imagination... I’m sorry. I should have gotten up sooner.” She sounded pained, probably beating herself up for not coming to my rescue fast enough.
“No... no medicine.” Her eyes narrowed at me and I realised she was about to snarl at me if I didn't give her something to do. Then she could feel she was helping me. “Water? Please?” I hated asking for help but I didn't want her to leave or have a hissy fit.
She had paused and for one moment I thought she was going to make me repeat myself but instead she turned on her heel and left toward the kitchen. Something clenched within me at the brief glimpses I got of her firm butt. My fever must have been really high because I wasn’t thinking clearly.
She returned to me quickly with a glass and before I could protest she helped prop my head up for the water. I managed to sip a small amount before turning away. My brain felt like it was sloshing around in liquid. It didn't help that Ivy’s intoxicating smell hit me straight in the face and her breasts were only inches away from my face. This would have troubled me if I could think logically.
“Is there anything else I can do?”
“Mmm?” My eyes drooped. I liked her nearby; she was warm and smelled really, really good. “No...”
She gently placed my head back on the pillow and my eyes shot open.
“Wait!”
“What?” She sounded strained.
“I... uh... I... can you...” I felt so damn crappy and tired but I couldn’t sleep properly with all the nightmares.
I won’t take meds but... would it really be so bad to ask her to help me? Is it really worth my while to deprive myself of some help?
I wanted her to stay.
“Could you... sleep here? By me?” I was far from lucid but it appeared as if my choices were becoming more rational. How odd, I thought to myself.
“Oh... alright...” I could tell I made her uncomfortable with the request. Generally, we tried to give each other as much space as possible to avoid mixing our scents together. It drove her insane and it usually made me really nervous. But I was sick and her instincts warred within her: to take care of me at the risk of eating me?
About two minutes later my dark haired roommate wandered back into the living room with her blanket and a pillow, settling herself on the couch across from me. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted but I wasn’t about to admit that I wanted her snuggled up against me.
“Thank you.”
“No problem. Goodnight Rachel.”
“Night.”
I had nudged the blankets off me, trying to cool off my fevered body and go to sleep. All I had on me was a tank top and panties so it wasn’t very long before I ended up putting the blanket back on me: too hot and too cold, with no middle ground.
I managed to doze lightly, trying to ignore Ivy’s tossing and turning. Cracking an eyelid I watched her stretch her lithe body, trying to find a comfortable spot and failing. She had even grabbed some of the couch pillows to help her but it didn't work. I cracked a smile when I realised the vampire was so pampered in her bedroom of silk with its queen sized bed and many luxurious pillows that she couldn’t handle sleeping on the couch. She was going to be massively irritable in the morning if she didn't get some rest.
“Ivy?”
“What.” It wasn’t so much a question as it was a snippy acknowledgement.
“Do you want to go back to bed?” I tried to stifle a laugh, my attention on her taking away from my pain. I swear she dampened my fever with her very presence.
“I want to... be there for you. But why the hell can’t you sleep in your own bed?”
I bit my bottom lip and contemplated answering. I didn't normally like to talk about my childhood but considering what I was planning to ask of her next, I figured a little pity would work my way. Sucking up my discomfort I decided to be honest.
“You remember how I survived the Rosewood Syndrome?”
“Yes...”
“Well... I’m... I don’t feel safe when I’m sick. When I was little, and the side effects from the meds were really bad, or I relapsed... I’d always be put alone in a room somewhere. So that the other kids wouldn’t be disturbed. Whenever I got sick at home, I’d sleep in the living room or with my mom and dad. Usually with them, they didn't like to leave me alone in my room either.” I blinked away tears I hadn’t expected to appear.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright. But you can’t sleep here.”
“What? No, I’m fine. It’s fine.”
I smiled at her effort then struggled weakly to get up off the couch. She was at my side so quickly I didn't hear her move. Envious of her vampiric speed, I made a face as she wrapped her arms around me to help me up.
“What’s wrong? You don’t need to get back to bed. Or do you need to use the bathroom?”
My face went red at the idea of her helping me to the toilet.
“No.” I grit my teeth. “I’m going to your bed.”
She nearly dropped me, my soft whimper bringing her back to reality before she could let me crumple over.
“This is ridiculous Rachel! You’re going to take something. I don’t care if it’s just a goddamn Tylenol. Something for the fever scrambling your brain.” She snapped at me.
I didn't know what to tell her. The last thing I needed was to spend the night discussing my hang-ups over medicine, so instead I just looked her straight in the eyes. I didn't know what she saw looking back at her but her gaze softened.
“I just think it would be easier if we were in your room. Then you wouldn’t be surrounded by my smell. Might be some mingling... but I’m sick and I think you fed yesterday...”
“I did... but I don’t like this.”
“I don’t want to be alone.” My voice trembled but I wasn’t going to beg, if she really didn't want me in her room I would go back to my own and just suck it up. She took so long responding that I started gathering my resolve. It wouldn’t be so bad; I’d pass out eventually and stop dreaming...
A moment of vertigo gripped me and it took a second for me to understand why.
Ivy had lifted me in her arms, carrying me close to her body, and walked me over to her bedroom bridal style.
Feeling a bit mortified, I was grateful when she set me on her comfy bed carefully, then darted back to the living room to grab her things.
When she returned she tucked me in, both of us silent from the tension. I didn't even have the presence of mind to swat her away as she fluffed my pillow. Then she promptly settled onto the farthest side of the bed with her back to me.
“Umm... goodnight Ivy.”
“Goodnight.” She replied sharply, not from anger but repressed feeling.
“I owe you.” I felt bad. It was selfish of me, asking her to be so close to me when I knew she wanted to be much closer. I knew she wanted so much more from me, to be her lover, and I denied her time and again. Though, if I was being honest with myself, I was finding it more and more difficult to remember just why I kept saying no.
“Just go to sleep Rachel.”
I didn't need encouragement. The smell of her, the knowledge of her presence, and the exhaustion from the lack of sleep hit me all at once and I almost melted into her decadent sheets as I fell asleep.
*****
I awoke a short while later, not from any nightmare but because the persistent ache in my body had intensified. Turning on my other side in an effort to shift the pain I accidentally bumped into something soft.
My eyes adjusted in the darkness to see Ivy sprawled out beside me on her back. In her sleep she had pushed me to the edge of the bed and managed to steal some of the blanket. I hadn’t slept deeply or long enough to forget where I was so Ivy’s appearance didn't freak me out.
I took a moment to openly stare at her. It was rare for me to have such freedom, normally she was so guarded, and I was so nervous of her misinterpreting my intentions, that I barely took the time to appreciate the way she looked - not that it ever fully hindered me.
She took my breath away. That powerful body, with its vicious speed and strength, sunk into the bed looking fragile. It was testament to her vampire nature that she stole some of my blanket from me but didn't actually wrap it around her. She just wanted to claim it as her territory, leaving most of the blanket at her feet, her upper body exposed. Sometime in the night she had changed into a more conservative outfit. Conservative for Ivy: her shorts were basically underwear with more fabric and the spaghetti strap top barely hid her midriff. Of course that might have been because she had stretched in her sleep, so the shirt rode up to show off the smooth expanse of her abdomen.
My mouth watered thoughtlessly when I realised she had quite a bit of definition. A six pack no less. I watched, hypnotized, as her steady breathing teased me with the sight. She would breathe in and her stomach would expand, her perfect skin flexing to hide the taut muscle. With a puff of breath the skin would settle back and the hard muscle rose to the surface once more.
I could feel her stomach under my fingertips, the delicious texture of her supple skin made my mouth water. I froze, paralyzed with shock when I realised I had literally reached out and put my hand on her abdomen. My eyes darted to her face, relieved to see she was still sleeping. Her breathing was even, her head tilted back slightly and her expression peaceful.
What the hell am I doing?
I flattened my hand over her stomach, her skin cool under my warm touch. Without questioning myself I started making slow circles over her stomach, dazed by the feel of her. I traced the bumps of muscle with the pads of my fingers, trying to be careful as I was unsure of whether she was ticklish. When my fingers accidently brushed against the edge of her shorts I inhaled sharply, surprised by the strong pull between my legs. I couldn’t believe it but I was wet.
Ivy hadn’t reacted, possibly in the deepest part of her sleep cycle or just exhausted from worrying about me, I wasn’t sure.
I had lost my mind. It had to be the only explanation. I should have taken some meds but it was too late, I had fried my brain with my own body heat and was contemplating things I had worked really hard to avoid thinking about.
Why?
I bit my lip but couldn’t stop my hand from moving. It didn't go south; it wouldn’t have felt right touching her there when she wasn’t conscious.
But heading for her breasts is alright?
Recently, I had been trying to pay more attention to my thoughts, to think things through before acting out and to stop treating my brain as if it were merely a mushy object that my skull needed to maintain its shape. But at that moment I really wanted my thoughts to just shut the hell up. The unspoken thoughts that were moving my hand seemed much more enjoyable and damn it I was tired of pretending they weren’t there.
You’ll hurt Ivy...
And that made me pause, my fingers just centimetres away from the underside of her breast, resting on her ribcage. I was playing with her again wasn’t I? In the morning I’d find I did everything wrong and had hurt her. I would blame the fever and I knew it.
If she ever so much as thought about doing this to you, you’d have moved out of the church so damn fast an undead vamp would have lost sight of you. How dare you touch her like this when you would have torn her head off for even considering such a thing?
Guilt washed over me and I reluctantly removed my hand, trying to ignore the sadness and agony that struck me hard at the loss of contact. I was wet, horny, and on the verge of taking advantage of her. I suddenly felt sick for reasons completely unrelated to the flu.
She didn't deserve my stupidity, especially after I had tormented her all day by refusing her help, then demanding that she wake up and take care of me in the middle of the night when she was trying to sleep. The worst part was asking her to let me sleep in her room, making her feel guilty enough that she helped me onto the bed. I had asked a lot of her, knowing she wanted me so much, demanding that instead of a peaceful sleep she should fight her instincts with my weak form next to her. And now? Now I was groping her while she slept?
You’re a selfish fucking idiot.
I scrambled to get out of the bed as quickly and quietly as I could. I had to leave, go back to my own bed and stop being such a fool. But I got up too rapidly, a wave of nausea and dizziness disoriented me and I ended up flopping off the bed in a tangle of sheets.
“R-Rache?” Her grey silk voice ran over my skin like a warm waterfall, intoxicatingly beautiful even drowsy. “What’s wrong?”
I heard her get up and walk over to me, still too sleepy to be coordinated enough to go vampy. I refused to move, feeling so damn miserable.
“I’m ok, go back to sleep.”
“You’re on the floor.”
“Yes. I can see that.” I almost laughed in frustration.
“Ok...” I listened to her yawn, then she calmly leaned down and picked me up in her arms. The heat of her body seeped into me, comforting and safe. My beloved heroine.
“No... put me down.” I felt tears well up in my eyes. I felt so damn guilty.
“I am...” she muttered as she hovered me over the bed.
“No - I want to go to my room.” My voice wavered, feeling hurt and stupid; I instinctively snuggled deeper in her arms.
“You want us to move to your room?” I could hear the mild alarm in her voice and at that I did laugh. A harsh, angry laugh. The aches and pains that had disappeared while I was absorbed in touching her had come back.
“You sleep here; I’ll sleep in my room.”
“Oh.” She froze and I frowned at how rigid her body had gone. “Did... did I do something in my sleep?” I could hear the disgust and fear in her voice.
“No...” I sniffled, feeling like an epic asshole. She was worried she had molested me while we slept. But I was the pervert. Shit.
“You’re crying...” There was no emotion in her voice and I knew she had just decided she was going to blame herself. Before I could protest we were already about to pass through the hallway.
“Wait!”
Surprised by my rather impassioned outburst and the sudden influx of powerful emotion, she almost fumbled when she stopped. She looked at me, I couldn’t tell if her eyes were black but I was sure they were probably dilating.
She watched me expectantly and I knew she was waiting for me to explain myself. I took that moment to inappropriately admire the way she was holding me like I weighed nothing. Ivy had very strong arms. Like her strong abs. Goose bumps broke out alone my skin, the desire I tried to stifle rose to the surface and Ivy inhaled sharply, swaying slightly.
Oops. What I was going to tell her certainly wasn’t going to help matters.
“It’s not your fault.” I mumbled, watching as she tried to reassert her self control. “What happened...” I blushed so hard I felt as if my face had to be giving off steam. “You were sleeping... and I kind of, started to...”
Tell her you played with her hair. You rubbed her shoulder? You farted?
“I started touching your stomach...” Humiliation left such a bitter taste in my mouth and I didn't notice her hopeful surprise. “It was my fever,” I added, panicking as she sniffed the air, no doubt smelling the lust I left after rubbing her abs. “I wasn’t thinking clearly. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I did it. I wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t for the fever. I was half asleep!”
Ivy’s eyes locked with my own then she turned away.
“Alright.” My heart dropped at the disappointment in her voice. I didn't meant to, but I had implied that I wouldn’t have touched her or felt anything if I wasn’t feverish. I wasn’t ready to explore just why I needed to touch her, but what I meant to say is that I would have never crossed the line and touched her without her permission. I bit my tongue, not wanting to make things worse.
Her vampiric speed was back and I found myself back in my bed before I registered movement.
“Ivy...”
“Rachel, I really need my sleep. I hope you get some rest but I really can’t stay up all night and deal with this. Either take some of those fucking pills and get over your emotional baggage, or wallow in your nightmares.” She snapped at me, startling me when she actually used a curse word.
She closed the door silently and I was left in the darkness of my room.
Part Two