(no subject)
Aaaaaaah, I've been pulled back into SPN. Well, pulled back would assume I've ever been really 'in' which..is complicated. SPN and I have always had a weird relationship in that it is chock full of storylines and tropes and characterizations that push a lot of my buttons hard. But, it's flaws are also ones that push my anti-buttons just as hard. So I'll hear bits of things going on through fandom and it will ping my 'want' side and then I watch a ton of what I missed from the last time I walked away until the 'do not want' side breaks hard enough that I throw up my hands and walk away again (or ragequit depending on the catalyst). And then rinse and repeat. This time it was hearing there was Dean/Cas things going on that were right up my alley. AND OH GOD WERE THEY EVER.
But, anyway this time it was...different? As I'm catching up so I can get to the recent Cas stuff, I realized. Just. The things SPN is going to do that leave me gritting my teeth and/or spitting bile...after 8 years are so incredibly predictable that I just can't work up the energy to get upset anymore. Just an eyeroll and a sigh and a 'yes, of course you just did/said that, it's what you do' and moving on. Which. Freed up all my emotional energy for the other kind of button mashing this show does to me. And. I am now kind of caught in a way I haven't been before.
I actually started rewatching the entire series from the beginning, having not rewatched hardly any of it ever before. And it's even easier to sigh/eyeroll/move on knowing exactly where the landmines are on seasons I've watched before. So, like, I'm gone. Wallowing in all the things that do speak directly to my fannish soul and I am overcome with FEELINGS. And, god, I haven't even gotten to the introduction of Cas and the beginning of his arc yet on the rewatch, and considering he is my bulletproof character on this show, I suspect the hand flailing will reach EPIC proportion.
It took 8 years, but I am finding myself actually fannish for real about this show for the first time. IT IS VERY WEIRD.
This entry was originally posted at http://fan-eunice.dreamwidth.org/329636.html. (
comments) Comment wherever you want.
But, anyway this time it was...different? As I'm catching up so I can get to the recent Cas stuff, I realized. Just. The things SPN is going to do that leave me gritting my teeth and/or spitting bile...after 8 years are so incredibly predictable that I just can't work up the energy to get upset anymore. Just an eyeroll and a sigh and a 'yes, of course you just did/said that, it's what you do' and moving on. Which. Freed up all my emotional energy for the other kind of button mashing this show does to me. And. I am now kind of caught in a way I haven't been before.
I actually started rewatching the entire series from the beginning, having not rewatched hardly any of it ever before. And it's even easier to sigh/eyeroll/move on knowing exactly where the landmines are on seasons I've watched before. So, like, I'm gone. Wallowing in all the things that do speak directly to my fannish soul and I am overcome with FEELINGS. And, god, I haven't even gotten to the introduction of Cas and the beginning of his arc yet on the rewatch, and considering he is my bulletproof character on this show, I suspect the hand flailing will reach EPIC proportion.
It took 8 years, but I am finding myself actually fannish for real about this show for the first time. IT IS VERY WEIRD.
This entry was originally posted at http://fan-eunice.dreamwidth.org/329636.html. (
comments) Comment wherever you want.