(no subject)
Happy Eleventy Day, my friends!!! :D :D
Why I am up this early, I do not know...but it means a lot of time to waste before today's Eleventy airs, much less when I can get my grubby little hands on it.
And waste time I shall, by going back in time a few years in the Whoverse to ponder a theory that came up in discussion with sweetestdrain. Rose Tyler, lesbian in denial?
Wait. Where are you going? I swear this actually makes sense. To me. Anyway, I like it as personal canon that helps me reconcile some issues I have with her character arc.
So. This theory grew out of noting that Rose tended to have, well, a lot of chemistry with other female characters. Yeah, even when she's acting all jealous or snotty. So much femmeslash potential with her through her run, right up to Rose/Donna in the 4th series. Buckets of it, actually. What's up with that?
And then I remembered being in my late teens and early twenties. And the stupid ass, and sometimes mean, things I did to cling to my own denial. Most of which revolved around going to one extreme or the other with regards to my relationship to dudes. There were the Mickeys, treated with indifference bordering on resentment for expecting me to feel and want things I just...didn't. And then things get all...weird and messy, 'cause letting go of the relationship means possibly facing that time you had naughty thoughts about the cute Welsh serving girl when aliens were possessing corpses in Cardiff and so on, and you don't want to do that, but hanging on means having tense and/or inappropriate reactions to things that can be hurtful.
Pro tip: when someone you are dating says they love you? If you sort of stare for a second and then burst out laughing, it's not going to go over well. I'm just saying.
And then there is the other end of the spectrum, which is obsessive attachment to the dude you know you can't have. How many times have we all wondered why Rose was willing to accept a sexless relationship, in which actually owning and discussing and acting on feelings was out of bounds, and call it True Love? Well. If you just wanted to prove to yourself that, yes, you do SO like boys that way, and there just happens to be a boy shaped alien who will never ask you to follow through on it, that'd do it. And, bonus, traveling through space and time, and you get on with him really well too! Just ignore the funny feelings in your tummy when you run across attractive women, and don't question too closely why you might feel threatened by some of them (jealousy! jealousy is good! that totally proves how totally heterosexually in love you are, right?).
Man, I woulda clung obsessively beyond reason to that one too. I sorta did several times (without the time and space travel. dammit) Anything that threatened that relationship would feel like the end of the world. You might, in fact, attempt to break down the walls of reality to get back to it, because you do love him and want to have his time babies, you do, it's just that he is into cuddling and hand holding and has issues that you are totally willing to wait out (forever), and you couldn't possibly move on to dudes who would expect more, because you LOVE HIM JUST THAT MUCH, IN THAT WAY, HONEST! And you really can't risk forming close friendships and bonds with the women you work with/in your circle, so you better cut yourself off entirely, stay isolated, and focus on the universe hopping goal.
JUST SAYING.
So what now, now that there's a clone of the perfect sexless dude to run away with and hyperfocus on in order to avoid anything resembling self-examination about that time you found cleavage+redheads=hot? And he is no longer sexless or unavailable. So you gotta make out with him on a beach. And, shit.
Since I'm massively over personalizing here, I will just point out how my own last ditch effort at heterosexuality went when I felt like I had to follow through. Got married and had a kid. Ended up big old dyke with divorce papers a few years later. Draw your own conclusions.
Thus concludes the wild theorizing of the day, which I accept may not be a reasonable explanation if you don't live in my head. But it makes me happy.
This entry was originally posted at http://fan-eunice.dreamwidth.org/197326.html. (
comments) Comment wherever you want.
Why I am up this early, I do not know...but it means a lot of time to waste before today's Eleventy airs, much less when I can get my grubby little hands on it.
And waste time I shall, by going back in time a few years in the Whoverse to ponder a theory that came up in discussion with sweetestdrain. Rose Tyler, lesbian in denial?
Wait. Where are you going? I swear this actually makes sense. To me. Anyway, I like it as personal canon that helps me reconcile some issues I have with her character arc.
So. This theory grew out of noting that Rose tended to have, well, a lot of chemistry with other female characters. Yeah, even when she's acting all jealous or snotty. So much femmeslash potential with her through her run, right up to Rose/Donna in the 4th series. Buckets of it, actually. What's up with that?
And then I remembered being in my late teens and early twenties. And the stupid ass, and sometimes mean, things I did to cling to my own denial. Most of which revolved around going to one extreme or the other with regards to my relationship to dudes. There were the Mickeys, treated with indifference bordering on resentment for expecting me to feel and want things I just...didn't. And then things get all...weird and messy, 'cause letting go of the relationship means possibly facing that time you had naughty thoughts about the cute Welsh serving girl when aliens were possessing corpses in Cardiff and so on, and you don't want to do that, but hanging on means having tense and/or inappropriate reactions to things that can be hurtful.
Pro tip: when someone you are dating says they love you? If you sort of stare for a second and then burst out laughing, it's not going to go over well. I'm just saying.
And then there is the other end of the spectrum, which is obsessive attachment to the dude you know you can't have. How many times have we all wondered why Rose was willing to accept a sexless relationship, in which actually owning and discussing and acting on feelings was out of bounds, and call it True Love? Well. If you just wanted to prove to yourself that, yes, you do SO like boys that way, and there just happens to be a boy shaped alien who will never ask you to follow through on it, that'd do it. And, bonus, traveling through space and time, and you get on with him really well too! Just ignore the funny feelings in your tummy when you run across attractive women, and don't question too closely why you might feel threatened by some of them (jealousy! jealousy is good! that totally proves how totally heterosexually in love you are, right?).
Man, I woulda clung obsessively beyond reason to that one too. I sorta did several times (without the time and space travel. dammit) Anything that threatened that relationship would feel like the end of the world. You might, in fact, attempt to break down the walls of reality to get back to it, because you do love him and want to have his time babies, you do, it's just that he is into cuddling and hand holding and has issues that you are totally willing to wait out (forever), and you couldn't possibly move on to dudes who would expect more, because you LOVE HIM JUST THAT MUCH, IN THAT WAY, HONEST! And you really can't risk forming close friendships and bonds with the women you work with/in your circle, so you better cut yourself off entirely, stay isolated, and focus on the universe hopping goal.
JUST SAYING.
So what now, now that there's a clone of the perfect sexless dude to run away with and hyperfocus on in order to avoid anything resembling self-examination about that time you found cleavage+redheads=hot? And he is no longer sexless or unavailable. So you gotta make out with him on a beach. And, shit.
Since I'm massively over personalizing here, I will just point out how my own last ditch effort at heterosexuality went when I felt like I had to follow through. Got married and had a kid. Ended up big old dyke with divorce papers a few years later. Draw your own conclusions.
Thus concludes the wild theorizing of the day, which I accept may not be a reasonable explanation if you don't live in my head. But it makes me happy.
This entry was originally posted at http://fan-eunice.dreamwidth.org/197326.html. (
comments) Comment wherever you want.