(no subject)
First off, the clubbing went great. I had tons of fun, and danced like crazy, and saw some people I hadn't seen in for-bloody-ever. And the outfit rocked. Thanks for the help, flist. And then I came home and collapsed very quickly. I'm constantly exhausted these days, it's sad.
Then. gabby_silang is coming to visit!!! I almost want to be mixing a few "1"s to those "!"s to show exactly how insanely enthusiastic I am. And yet I can't really believe it yet. Gabs, darling, we'd better make this happen.
Which reminds me. thewatch, brallaqueen, when are you coming? I haven't heard from you in forever. You are still coming, right?
Now. Tomorrow Firewall (Paul!) and Ice Age 2 (Alan!) are released. Yay! I wanted to go see Firewall as soon as possible (hey nobody should have to go this long without seeing Paul on the big screen even if it means a terrible movie kthx), but that ever so lovely Fred-or-George pupil that stood me up last week texted me about pushing the lesson back from 2:30 to 3. Picture me tearing my hair out in frustration. If there is a showing around 11, I might actually get up to go catch it then. And at night would likely be Ice Age 2. Is it sad that I'm really only excited about this movie because Alan has a couple of small parts in it? Yes, I thought it was as well.
In the same vein, I saw my first poster of Rent in the metro today! Yay! I am so, so, so excited about seeing it at last.
And now, on a much more emo note, feel free to stop reading this post. But fuck, I miss my life in England. See, it's been pretty much spring temperatures here for a few days, which means I've taken back to wearing my denim jacket, and for some reason wearing it in the streets makes me think of England so much. I bought it over there when it was starting to get warmer, and it just seems to belong to my life over there. Walking in the streets, going to/coming back from teaching, it's an English thing. I miss walking along the canal to go to the centre of Stockton Heath, I miss jogging along the canal like I did once every three months, I miss arguing with Etienne about whatever happened to be the topic of conversation that day because let's face it, when did the two of us ever agree, I miss dirty-dancing with Daniel and drinking with him and I miss the quiet talks with Julia and I miss discussing tattoos with Leticia and wrangling more Chinese phrases out of Weiwei.
I don't miss the school bus every morning.
But I miss the pupils. I miss shy Sarah, and talkative Melissa, unconfident Helen, that cocky little shit Ben, funny Liam, hard-working Helen (another one), lazy Lauren, crazy Sophie, and god, I'm wracking my brains trying to put names on all those faces I remember so vividly, and I hate myself that I can't manage. I shouldn't have forgotten all those names so easily. I remember everything else about them - personality, strengths and weaknesses, looks, but the names are gone, and I suck.
But I miss them all, and I miss my colleagues.
Especially Klem with who I shared so much, who always challenged me and my positions in an unassuming manner, and who could oh-my-god like Vince, and who was always ready to go out. I miss Stuart who often provoked me on purpose, just to figure out why I thought what I thought, who once apologised for it very sweetly (as if he needed to!) by explaining I was the first "person of indiscriminate sexuality" he met, who made me discover Tallisker (oh my sweet god thank you for Scotch whiskies) and the goodness that are Belgian beers, who was such a closetted movie geek, who loves teaching with a passion and can speak way too many languages way too well for just the one human being, and who listened to the best indie bands, who had the coolest accent and the loveliest girlfriend, Nikki, I miss her too. I miss Ian who always had a joke to tell, and was so easy-going and laid-back, and who was always telling us about quirky little English habits and who regularly took the mick out of us and who looked so good with a Christmas cracker paper crown. I miss Hilary who was such a mother figure, always so nice and gentle and ready to accomodate us, and so sensitive, I love her that she cried when we had this big goodbye dinner with our sixth formers, and we were talking to the A-level girls and she teared up. I miss Levon who was such a career teacher, if that phrase even means anything, and who never had any trouble pulling a guy on Canal Street, and who hardly ever had time during the school week but who was such a doll when we managed to got out together on weekends. I miss George and Rebecca and Allison and all of the girls that did love to gossip so. I miss Caroline who it took me a while to warm up to, but oh how nice she was, and so funny, and she was there for us. I miss sweet, soft-spoken Rebecca with her Geordie accent, and I miss sweet Julie we never did go to that jazz club, I miss Emma we never did get that coffe and cake, and I miss Brenda and Javier and even Michael, and the rest of them, all of them.
Okay, I don't miss Phil.
My home there, I miss my home. I miss the canal. I miss our street. I miss walking to Lidl. I miss going down to the kitchen and finding some of the guys there, or not. I miss highlighting what I wanted to see in the TV program, a different colour than Etienne had. I miss going to knock on Etienne's door to talk to him about whatever and finding him in front of one of his car shows. I miss him ranting at me about Aston Martins, and I miss the way most of the mail we got was car promo stuff he'd ordered. I miss finding Daniel in the backyard having a smoke, and how cold it made the kitchen in the winter that he'd leave the backdoor open. I miss the meals he'd cook us, so much fat, but so good, he's an instinctive cook. I miss the way Leticia came over now and then to prepare something typically Spanish or other, and I remember fondly the arepas and toilet paper. (Now aren't you glad you don't know what I'm talking about.) I miss chatting with Marlene, and I remember coming out to her and how cool she was about it. I miss finding her son Tom around once in a while, who was covering Big Brother for the Star. I miss English telly, and by that I mean the good programs. I miss being able to watch whatever was on on telly, because it wouldn't be horrible French dubbings. I miss going over to Julia's room to watch some movies together. I miss the girl talks. I miss the guy talks. I miss the them talks.
I miss Stockton Heath, the two pubs we went to, and cheap pints of John Smith's. I miss Warrington, even though I hated the straight scene there, I miss the Golden Square and I miss the tattoo place and I miss the WA1 even though we only went once and it was full of our pupils, brilliant music, I love indie rock and indie crowds. I miss Altrincham, I miss the tacos bar and the Belgian beer bar and that waiter that looked like Eric Balfour and Stuart was convinced he'd be my type and boy, was he. I miss Manchester, I miss the Afflecks Palace (oh, do I) and the Picadilly Starbucks and I miss the Royal Exchange and I miss Canal Street, I miss Canal Street so fucking much it hurts to watch QaF sometimes, but in a good way.
I miss going out over there. I miss long drives with Fred, I miss spending the night at his place and sort-of-sometimes-seeing Fredo and Ludo and Rico. Yeah, I miss Rico. I miss Madeleine and Gwen and Jean-Paul, and if anybody is reading this can you please, please direct thoughts, prayers, good vibes, whatever you can/are willing to do, towards Jean-Paul, who has meningitis and he'll pull through but they don't know how much damage there's been and god, Mads, if I could be there for you. I miss the Vanilla, and the waitress that could speak French, I miss the Queer, and sending a quick LJ update from there, I miss Poptastic, especially the indie rock room, I miss the Hollywood Showbar and oh, Thong Idol. I miss Paul, I miss the way we could dirty-dance with so much abandon and god it felt gorgeous and I miss your ever so fucking evident confusion, Paul, mate, and the way you asked me completely earnestly to come wank you off in the loo, and I miss how your accent was so thick I hardly ever understood you straight off, and I miss how I never saw you sober, not once, I miss how completely, perfectly fucked up you were.
I miss it all. I think I fell in love with those people and those places a little, and once you fall in love with something or somebody you'll never really be completely free of them. I cherish that I miss it all that much.
I adore Bright Eyes' "Lover I don't have to love". The orchestration, the lyrics, the voice, all of it. It fascinates me a little bit more each time. "Love's an excuse to get hurt / and to hurt / Do you like to hurt? / I do, I do / then hurt me..."
Then. gabby_silang is coming to visit!!! I almost want to be mixing a few "1"s to those "!"s to show exactly how insanely enthusiastic I am. And yet I can't really believe it yet. Gabs, darling, we'd better make this happen.
Which reminds me. thewatch, brallaqueen, when are you coming? I haven't heard from you in forever. You are still coming, right?
Now. Tomorrow Firewall (Paul!) and Ice Age 2 (Alan!) are released. Yay! I wanted to go see Firewall as soon as possible (hey nobody should have to go this long without seeing Paul on the big screen even if it means a terrible movie kthx), but that ever so lovely Fred-or-George pupil that stood me up last week texted me about pushing the lesson back from 2:30 to 3. Picture me tearing my hair out in frustration. If there is a showing around 11, I might actually get up to go catch it then. And at night would likely be Ice Age 2. Is it sad that I'm really only excited about this movie because Alan has a couple of small parts in it? Yes, I thought it was as well.
In the same vein, I saw my first poster of Rent in the metro today! Yay! I am so, so, so excited about seeing it at last.
And now, on a much more emo note, feel free to stop reading this post. But fuck, I miss my life in England. See, it's been pretty much spring temperatures here for a few days, which means I've taken back to wearing my denim jacket, and for some reason wearing it in the streets makes me think of England so much. I bought it over there when it was starting to get warmer, and it just seems to belong to my life over there. Walking in the streets, going to/coming back from teaching, it's an English thing. I miss walking along the canal to go to the centre of Stockton Heath, I miss jogging along the canal like I did once every three months, I miss arguing with Etienne about whatever happened to be the topic of conversation that day because let's face it, when did the two of us ever agree, I miss dirty-dancing with Daniel and drinking with him and I miss the quiet talks with Julia and I miss discussing tattoos with Leticia and wrangling more Chinese phrases out of Weiwei.
I don't miss the school bus every morning.
But I miss the pupils. I miss shy Sarah, and talkative Melissa, unconfident Helen, that cocky little shit Ben, funny Liam, hard-working Helen (another one), lazy Lauren, crazy Sophie, and god, I'm wracking my brains trying to put names on all those faces I remember so vividly, and I hate myself that I can't manage. I shouldn't have forgotten all those names so easily. I remember everything else about them - personality, strengths and weaknesses, looks, but the names are gone, and I suck.
But I miss them all, and I miss my colleagues.
Especially Klem with who I shared so much, who always challenged me and my positions in an unassuming manner, and who could oh-my-god like Vince, and who was always ready to go out. I miss Stuart who often provoked me on purpose, just to figure out why I thought what I thought, who once apologised for it very sweetly (as if he needed to!) by explaining I was the first "person of indiscriminate sexuality" he met, who made me discover Tallisker (oh my sweet god thank you for Scotch whiskies) and the goodness that are Belgian beers, who was such a closetted movie geek, who loves teaching with a passion and can speak way too many languages way too well for just the one human being, and who listened to the best indie bands, who had the coolest accent and the loveliest girlfriend, Nikki, I miss her too. I miss Ian who always had a joke to tell, and was so easy-going and laid-back, and who was always telling us about quirky little English habits and who regularly took the mick out of us and who looked so good with a Christmas cracker paper crown. I miss Hilary who was such a mother figure, always so nice and gentle and ready to accomodate us, and so sensitive, I love her that she cried when we had this big goodbye dinner with our sixth formers, and we were talking to the A-level girls and she teared up. I miss Levon who was such a career teacher, if that phrase even means anything, and who never had any trouble pulling a guy on Canal Street, and who hardly ever had time during the school week but who was such a doll when we managed to got out together on weekends. I miss George and Rebecca and Allison and all of the girls that did love to gossip so. I miss Caroline who it took me a while to warm up to, but oh how nice she was, and so funny, and she was there for us. I miss sweet, soft-spoken Rebecca with her Geordie accent, and I miss sweet Julie we never did go to that jazz club, I miss Emma we never did get that coffe and cake, and I miss Brenda and Javier and even Michael, and the rest of them, all of them.
Okay, I don't miss Phil.
My home there, I miss my home. I miss the canal. I miss our street. I miss walking to Lidl. I miss going down to the kitchen and finding some of the guys there, or not. I miss highlighting what I wanted to see in the TV program, a different colour than Etienne had. I miss going to knock on Etienne's door to talk to him about whatever and finding him in front of one of his car shows. I miss him ranting at me about Aston Martins, and I miss the way most of the mail we got was car promo stuff he'd ordered. I miss finding Daniel in the backyard having a smoke, and how cold it made the kitchen in the winter that he'd leave the backdoor open. I miss the meals he'd cook us, so much fat, but so good, he's an instinctive cook. I miss the way Leticia came over now and then to prepare something typically Spanish or other, and I remember fondly the arepas and toilet paper. (Now aren't you glad you don't know what I'm talking about.) I miss chatting with Marlene, and I remember coming out to her and how cool she was about it. I miss finding her son Tom around once in a while, who was covering Big Brother for the Star. I miss English telly, and by that I mean the good programs. I miss being able to watch whatever was on on telly, because it wouldn't be horrible French dubbings. I miss going over to Julia's room to watch some movies together. I miss the girl talks. I miss the guy talks. I miss the them talks.
I miss Stockton Heath, the two pubs we went to, and cheap pints of John Smith's. I miss Warrington, even though I hated the straight scene there, I miss the Golden Square and I miss the tattoo place and I miss the WA1 even though we only went once and it was full of our pupils, brilliant music, I love indie rock and indie crowds. I miss Altrincham, I miss the tacos bar and the Belgian beer bar and that waiter that looked like Eric Balfour and Stuart was convinced he'd be my type and boy, was he. I miss Manchester, I miss the Afflecks Palace (oh, do I) and the Picadilly Starbucks and I miss the Royal Exchange and I miss Canal Street, I miss Canal Street so fucking much it hurts to watch QaF sometimes, but in a good way.
I miss going out over there. I miss long drives with Fred, I miss spending the night at his place and sort-of-sometimes-seeing Fredo and Ludo and Rico. Yeah, I miss Rico. I miss Madeleine and Gwen and Jean-Paul, and if anybody is reading this can you please, please direct thoughts, prayers, good vibes, whatever you can/are willing to do, towards Jean-Paul, who has meningitis and he'll pull through but they don't know how much damage there's been and god, Mads, if I could be there for you. I miss the Vanilla, and the waitress that could speak French, I miss the Queer, and sending a quick LJ update from there, I miss Poptastic, especially the indie rock room, I miss the Hollywood Showbar and oh, Thong Idol. I miss Paul, I miss the way we could dirty-dance with so much abandon and god it felt gorgeous and I miss your ever so fucking evident confusion, Paul, mate, and the way you asked me completely earnestly to come wank you off in the loo, and I miss how your accent was so thick I hardly ever understood you straight off, and I miss how I never saw you sober, not once, I miss how completely, perfectly fucked up you were.
I miss it all. I think I fell in love with those people and those places a little, and once you fall in love with something or somebody you'll never really be completely free of them. I cherish that I miss it all that much.
I adore Bright Eyes' "Lover I don't have to love". The orchestration, the lyrics, the voice, all of it. It fascinates me a little bit more each time. "Love's an excuse to get hurt / and to hurt / Do you like to hurt? / I do, I do / then hurt me..."