home at 3 am? so what!!
yea.. so i've been getting home at 3 am for the past three nights.. mom only knows about one night though. ;) hahaha.. i'm good.
last night, i hung out with ryan again... we rented harold and kumar go to white castle.. that movie is sooo funny... but.. we were just lying there watching the movie, and i had my arm around him, and all of the sudden i realized that i was practically holding onto him for dear life.. it was so weird.. but i just got this feeling that i needed him so badly, i didn't want to leave. it felt so right.. (how gay does that sound???!!!) but it's true.. it was so strange, but yea...
now i'm just waiting for him to get online.. i don't like calling him, 'cause i'll feel like that brandi girl who's practically stalking him now.. she calls him no less than 20 times a day, he never answers, and from different numbers. yea. she's weird. next time she gets on, i'll post her goofy ass info on here. ;)
he had to work today from 2-8, so he shoul'dve gotten home awhile ago.. oh well. :) i'm sure he's tired; we were up pretty late last night!!! hahahaha... i think is going to turn into me just spending the night with him.. i mean, i've done it a million times before. and i used to do it with matt all the time...
wow.. i really miss matt... i haven't cried in maybe two months, which is so strange.. i used to just think about him being in that car and start crying, but now, i can talk about it, and i don't. i don't feel anything... last night was the first time i've had any emotions other than being mad or happy in awhile.. (okay okay, i'm crazy.) i was cleaning out my email, and all the emails that people sent me when it happened were in there... i couldn't read them. i started reading laurel's and i really did almost start crying, so i just stopped. it's so weird how things can affect you like that.
well, i need to stop going on about this stuff... if ryan doesn't get on soon, i'm going to bed.. even though i slept 'til 12 today.. haha.. i'm stil really tired. :)
have fun.
last night, i hung out with ryan again... we rented harold and kumar go to white castle.. that movie is sooo funny... but.. we were just lying there watching the movie, and i had my arm around him, and all of the sudden i realized that i was practically holding onto him for dear life.. it was so weird.. but i just got this feeling that i needed him so badly, i didn't want to leave. it felt so right.. (how gay does that sound???!!!) but it's true.. it was so strange, but yea...
now i'm just waiting for him to get online.. i don't like calling him, 'cause i'll feel like that brandi girl who's practically stalking him now.. she calls him no less than 20 times a day, he never answers, and from different numbers. yea. she's weird. next time she gets on, i'll post her goofy ass info on here. ;)
he had to work today from 2-8, so he shoul'dve gotten home awhile ago.. oh well. :) i'm sure he's tired; we were up pretty late last night!!! hahahaha... i think is going to turn into me just spending the night with him.. i mean, i've done it a million times before. and i used to do it with matt all the time...
wow.. i really miss matt... i haven't cried in maybe two months, which is so strange.. i used to just think about him being in that car and start crying, but now, i can talk about it, and i don't. i don't feel anything... last night was the first time i've had any emotions other than being mad or happy in awhile.. (okay okay, i'm crazy.) i was cleaning out my email, and all the emails that people sent me when it happened were in there... i couldn't read them. i started reading laurel's and i really did almost start crying, so i just stopped. it's so weird how things can affect you like that.
well, i need to stop going on about this stuff... if ryan doesn't get on soon, i'm going to bed.. even though i slept 'til 12 today.. haha.. i'm stil really tired. :)
have fun.