missing since...
just recently it has been hitting me hard that matt really is gone. it's taking me a little over a year to realize that... i guess that makes me a retard.
i really miss him though.. and sometimes when i go to do things, i think, "matt would so be here right now".. and he's not. and it's really sad.. 'cause nobody else likes to do the things that matt did with me. i love that kid.. :)
i'll never forget what his mom told me after he died.. "he really did love you, you know." that kills me everytime i think about it... so i try to do the things that matt would have wanted me to.. 'cause he used to make fun of me for being so shy..
i feel bad for never visiting his family anymore.. but ican't bring myself to do it. do you know how hard that is? i dated the guy that wrecked the car matt was in... even though they told ryan they aren't mad at him, you know there have got to be some sort of feelings towards him that aren't the best.. and i feel they have carried to me as well.. sometimes i wish nick and i were still friends, since matt, nick, and me were so inseperable two summers ago... i guess things just change. figures i'm always the one who's left behind.
i really miss him though.. and sometimes when i go to do things, i think, "matt would so be here right now".. and he's not. and it's really sad.. 'cause nobody else likes to do the things that matt did with me. i love that kid.. :)
i'll never forget what his mom told me after he died.. "he really did love you, you know." that kills me everytime i think about it... so i try to do the things that matt would have wanted me to.. 'cause he used to make fun of me for being so shy..
i feel bad for never visiting his family anymore.. but ican't bring myself to do it. do you know how hard that is? i dated the guy that wrecked the car matt was in... even though they told ryan they aren't mad at him, you know there have got to be some sort of feelings towards him that aren't the best.. and i feel they have carried to me as well.. sometimes i wish nick and i were still friends, since matt, nick, and me were so inseperable two summers ago... i guess things just change. figures i'm always the one who's left behind.