(no subject)
I wonder how I assume that I am just little miss "all grown up" but as soon as something COMPELETELY adolescent that is shitty happens. I get all jostled around, don't know which way is up, and I put all of the important things in my life on hold.
I will more than most likely get accepted to Boston, and even though that means I'm throwing away my scholarships to DU, it's really what I want. The thing I needed most, was something I thought I already had...a reality check. I have to move away from my family, doctors, friends, just so I can grow up. I have always wanted to move to the east coast, and if I don't go now...when will I ever?
I'm so excited but SO scared too. Nick and I broke up yesterday, but it was probably the healthiest break up I think anyone would ever go through. I really let a good one go, but I think we'll both realize it was for the betterment of him, and for me in the sense that I need to do things on my own. I just really wish that I could fast forard to graduation, and I am aware that "this should be the best time of my life..." but essentially it has been some of the worst. This year as a whole has been pretty much horrible from day one. I think it'll be easier since I am more freed up to spend time with my ladies before we all move around.
But I really think Boston is it. Even though it was an impulse move, and hoping that I make the deadline for fall semester, I know I won't have the feeling that I would if I went to DU, that "what if..." feeling.
I will more than most likely get accepted to Boston, and even though that means I'm throwing away my scholarships to DU, it's really what I want. The thing I needed most, was something I thought I already had...a reality check. I have to move away from my family, doctors, friends, just so I can grow up. I have always wanted to move to the east coast, and if I don't go now...when will I ever?
I'm so excited but SO scared too. Nick and I broke up yesterday, but it was probably the healthiest break up I think anyone would ever go through. I really let a good one go, but I think we'll both realize it was for the betterment of him, and for me in the sense that I need to do things on my own. I just really wish that I could fast forard to graduation, and I am aware that "this should be the best time of my life..." but essentially it has been some of the worst. This year as a whole has been pretty much horrible from day one. I think it'll be easier since I am more freed up to spend time with my ladies before we all move around.
But I really think Boston is it. Even though it was an impulse move, and hoping that I make the deadline for fall semester, I know I won't have the feeling that I would if I went to DU, that "what if..." feeling.