(no subject)
Hey! this is my first entry all thanks to sarah harney. ily. sooo... i'll say more when i'm addicted, but i'll leave you with some laughs (or at least i find them funny)
i'd like to see a fork-lift lift a crate of forks. it'd be so damn literal.
i'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat, god damn it annoying.
i decided to get my teeth whitened, but i said "fuck that, i'll just get a tan instead."
i haven't sleep for ten days because that would be too long.
i have no problem not listening to the Temptations, which is weird.
you can have this product for four easy payments of 19.95. (in response) i would like to have a product that was available for 3 easy payments and 1 fuckin complicated payment. we ain't gonna tell you which one it is, but one of these payments is gonna be a bitch; the mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamp will be in the wrong denomination. goodluck, fucker.
there's a fishing show on tv where they catch the fish, but they let it go. they don't wanna eat the fish, but they do wanna make it late for somethin.
where were you?
i got caught!
bullshit, let me see the inside of your lip.
i wanna hang a map of the world in my house. then i'm gonna put pins into all the locations that i've traveled to, but first i'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.
i tried to walk into target, but i missed. and then when i finally walk in the guy says, "can i help you?" "just practicing."
i got an isolating fan in my house. the fan goes back and forth, it looks like the fan looks like it is saying "no." so i like to ask it questions that a fan would say "no" to. i say, "do you keep my hair in place?" "do you keep my documents in order?" "do you have three settings? . . . LIAR! my fan fuckin lied to me, now i will pull the pin up. now you ain't sayin shit."
i heart mitch hedberg
cheers, jos/famous/fanny
i'd like to see a fork-lift lift a crate of forks. it'd be so damn literal.
i'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat, god damn it annoying.
i decided to get my teeth whitened, but i said "fuck that, i'll just get a tan instead."
i haven't sleep for ten days because that would be too long.
i have no problem not listening to the Temptations, which is weird.
you can have this product for four easy payments of 19.95. (in response) i would like to have a product that was available for 3 easy payments and 1 fuckin complicated payment. we ain't gonna tell you which one it is, but one of these payments is gonna be a bitch; the mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamp will be in the wrong denomination. goodluck, fucker.
there's a fishing show on tv where they catch the fish, but they let it go. they don't wanna eat the fish, but they do wanna make it late for somethin.
where were you?
i got caught!
bullshit, let me see the inside of your lip.
i wanna hang a map of the world in my house. then i'm gonna put pins into all the locations that i've traveled to, but first i'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.
i tried to walk into target, but i missed. and then when i finally walk in the guy says, "can i help you?" "just practicing."
i got an isolating fan in my house. the fan goes back and forth, it looks like the fan looks like it is saying "no." so i like to ask it questions that a fan would say "no" to. i say, "do you keep my hair in place?" "do you keep my documents in order?" "do you have three settings? . . . LIAR! my fan fuckin lied to me, now i will pull the pin up. now you ain't sayin shit."
i heart mitch hedberg
cheers, jos/famous/fanny