life is curiously a hazard of contentment
though I find myself just as busy as I was when I was in school I still am enjoying it. Working with the EP OUTings group has proven to be somewhat enjoyable, the filing is quite frankly numbing but overall I like the fact that I'm going to learn how to work within a community outreach program; it's getting me out there and being a member the past year had allowed me to get to know people. The only drawback I suppose is the discomfort this is causing my parents. Unlike my other jobs at Sam's and the Writing Center this new one isnt met with interest or approval, it was met with warnings and "are you sure you want to do this?"
It felt like they thought I was taking sides with the enemy, and to them I suppose I am. EP OUtings is a program sponsered by Planned Parenthood here in El Paso, and though the PP has never performed an abortion in El Paso in the past 70 years that it has been in service it is still, in my parents' minds the same as any other. I suspect that they think that Ive given up on my values or my morals; the only problem is that I havent, they just assume that my morals are mirror relfections of their own. I still consider my self against abortion on a spiritual level, but I have also learned that to deny women the choice in the matter and the options that they have is tantamount to making them submissive to the whim of men and religious authorities, something that had gone on for far too long. I, as a man, and as a gay/ bisexual man who may never have biological children, have no right to dictate to any woman what she may do with her body, much less with the life that resides within her. It is and always ought to be the choice of women, with men having a secondary decision on the matter, and this choice only becomes equal to that of women when the man is the father of that child. I still see abortion as a vile and cruel ending of life, especially when the fetus has a body, but this should not deny the rights to birth control nor the freedom of any to the political religious leanings of a few people. That I see as the greater evil, for when religion and politics are mixed, especially in a diverse and pluarlist culture and nation, there is a very good possibility that the rights of others will soon be trampled for the sake of "morality". As a person who is a multiple minority I am frightened when people use the Bible ( a document that has been translated, retranslated, cut and pasted over thousands of years) to claim authrotiy over the rights of others. Because that same person can simply find a passage in the bible and claim that I am guilty of the crime of being born; an ironic twist on the whole "right to life" clause.
When the governing principle of a nation is based on a document that is the divine authority of a select population, the others within that nation, who do not follow or recognize this divine authority, are left by teh way side and are subject to discrimination, prejudice, violence and even destruction. IT is only through secular government that religions can remain true to their origin and cannot be misused by a people to denegrade others. A secular government provides an equal playing field for all people regardless of background and provides for a more equal treatment, or at least ought to. Abortion, regardless of my personal views, is therefore the ultimate descision of women, for they have the domain of reproduction. They carry the child, and they nurse the child; men have every right to oppose the abortion of their child but they should also be willing to support that child and even raise it as a single father, not simply to expect the woman to do all the work herself.
How is it that some pro-lifers are willing to protect the life of an unborn child, but when that child grows up to be gay feel that it is better that this boy/girl were never born? How twisted is that? If the fetus is considered to be deserving of life, then what that child grows to become ought to be respected too, nay ought to be celebrated and embraced. Yet there are still places in this "free" country where gay youth resort to suicide because their parents claim they were a waste or no longer claim them as their own children. How disrespectful for life, that one is not willing to embrace all peoples in how they were born.
How hypocritical to claim that they are protecting life, when some make their money off of the exploitation of others, the cruel disrespect for the earth, or the sending of young men to war based upon viscious lies. How can we claim to be pro-life, when we do not call for the ending of meat farms, where an animal is raised in a tiny box, bereft of clean air and space, wallowing in their own filth. How can we claim to respect life when we do not call for the end of strip mining, violent deforestation, or even the callous disregard shown to the land upon which we live. For if that seemingly unconsequential life is disrespected by us, by what authority do we have to demand the end of a practice that people participate in voluntarily. how can we day that we protect life, when we allow the cycle of death and desruction to continue. It is cruel to expect people to raise children in a world where such evils persist, no to force them to raise children. And though the prolife movement advocates adoption many just advocate adoptions by heterosexual people, claiming that gays and lesbians are unfit for the raising of children. How very "pro-life", if anything the prolife movement ought to embrace same-sex couples adopting because it means more homes to place these children born of mothers who do not want them or feel they are not ready to care for them. Every major psychological association and expert has said that children raised by homosexual couples are not worse off than other children and are in fact more accepting, more open and less repressed emotionally than their heterosexually raised counterparts.
I have curiously gotten on top of my soapbox right now, and did not intend to, but sometimes the issues make me so mad that i need to vent. I hate making my family feel bad but this job is a good step for me and sometimes I wish that they would be a little more supportive, not just about my job but about my lifestyle. I see other parents rejoicing in having a gay child, the ever present PFLAG parents, and idiotically, naively I want my parents to be like that. But I'm afraid, despite how supportive they are, that if I take too many steps theyll get freaked out and push away. I love them dearly but sometimes they move at a snail's pace and dont just let things pass. I would love to be open with them but I fear that the truth will frighten them and right now my mom has been distant, I'm guessing because she feels like she failed in raising me. If i even mention my new job its like her day is ruined and her happy demeanor fades away; I hate doing that so I keep things to myself which in turn hurts her because she feels like I'm hiding something. It's aggravating because either way I'm hurting her; but must I sacrifice myself to ensure her happiness? even if that happiness is based on something I dont believe in anymore? How do I remain true to my newly garnered self and remain true to her? right now my mind is saying, "let her work through these things and be honest about everything, because in the end she'll see that you dont feel like you're doing anything wrong." I'm hoping that's the right thing to do, I dont want to lose my mother, but at the same time I dont want to lose myself, because it has been too long a journey to get where I am today.
It felt like they thought I was taking sides with the enemy, and to them I suppose I am. EP OUtings is a program sponsered by Planned Parenthood here in El Paso, and though the PP has never performed an abortion in El Paso in the past 70 years that it has been in service it is still, in my parents' minds the same as any other. I suspect that they think that Ive given up on my values or my morals; the only problem is that I havent, they just assume that my morals are mirror relfections of their own. I still consider my self against abortion on a spiritual level, but I have also learned that to deny women the choice in the matter and the options that they have is tantamount to making them submissive to the whim of men and religious authorities, something that had gone on for far too long. I, as a man, and as a gay/ bisexual man who may never have biological children, have no right to dictate to any woman what she may do with her body, much less with the life that resides within her. It is and always ought to be the choice of women, with men having a secondary decision on the matter, and this choice only becomes equal to that of women when the man is the father of that child. I still see abortion as a vile and cruel ending of life, especially when the fetus has a body, but this should not deny the rights to birth control nor the freedom of any to the political religious leanings of a few people. That I see as the greater evil, for when religion and politics are mixed, especially in a diverse and pluarlist culture and nation, there is a very good possibility that the rights of others will soon be trampled for the sake of "morality". As a person who is a multiple minority I am frightened when people use the Bible ( a document that has been translated, retranslated, cut and pasted over thousands of years) to claim authrotiy over the rights of others. Because that same person can simply find a passage in the bible and claim that I am guilty of the crime of being born; an ironic twist on the whole "right to life" clause.
When the governing principle of a nation is based on a document that is the divine authority of a select population, the others within that nation, who do not follow or recognize this divine authority, are left by teh way side and are subject to discrimination, prejudice, violence and even destruction. IT is only through secular government that religions can remain true to their origin and cannot be misused by a people to denegrade others. A secular government provides an equal playing field for all people regardless of background and provides for a more equal treatment, or at least ought to. Abortion, regardless of my personal views, is therefore the ultimate descision of women, for they have the domain of reproduction. They carry the child, and they nurse the child; men have every right to oppose the abortion of their child but they should also be willing to support that child and even raise it as a single father, not simply to expect the woman to do all the work herself.
How is it that some pro-lifers are willing to protect the life of an unborn child, but when that child grows up to be gay feel that it is better that this boy/girl were never born? How twisted is that? If the fetus is considered to be deserving of life, then what that child grows to become ought to be respected too, nay ought to be celebrated and embraced. Yet there are still places in this "free" country where gay youth resort to suicide because their parents claim they were a waste or no longer claim them as their own children. How disrespectful for life, that one is not willing to embrace all peoples in how they were born.
How hypocritical to claim that they are protecting life, when some make their money off of the exploitation of others, the cruel disrespect for the earth, or the sending of young men to war based upon viscious lies. How can we claim to be pro-life, when we do not call for the ending of meat farms, where an animal is raised in a tiny box, bereft of clean air and space, wallowing in their own filth. How can we claim to respect life when we do not call for the end of strip mining, violent deforestation, or even the callous disregard shown to the land upon which we live. For if that seemingly unconsequential life is disrespected by us, by what authority do we have to demand the end of a practice that people participate in voluntarily. how can we day that we protect life, when we allow the cycle of death and desruction to continue. It is cruel to expect people to raise children in a world where such evils persist, no to force them to raise children. And though the prolife movement advocates adoption many just advocate adoptions by heterosexual people, claiming that gays and lesbians are unfit for the raising of children. How very "pro-life", if anything the prolife movement ought to embrace same-sex couples adopting because it means more homes to place these children born of mothers who do not want them or feel they are not ready to care for them. Every major psychological association and expert has said that children raised by homosexual couples are not worse off than other children and are in fact more accepting, more open and less repressed emotionally than their heterosexually raised counterparts.
I have curiously gotten on top of my soapbox right now, and did not intend to, but sometimes the issues make me so mad that i need to vent. I hate making my family feel bad but this job is a good step for me and sometimes I wish that they would be a little more supportive, not just about my job but about my lifestyle. I see other parents rejoicing in having a gay child, the ever present PFLAG parents, and idiotically, naively I want my parents to be like that. But I'm afraid, despite how supportive they are, that if I take too many steps theyll get freaked out and push away. I love them dearly but sometimes they move at a snail's pace and dont just let things pass. I would love to be open with them but I fear that the truth will frighten them and right now my mom has been distant, I'm guessing because she feels like she failed in raising me. If i even mention my new job its like her day is ruined and her happy demeanor fades away; I hate doing that so I keep things to myself which in turn hurts her because she feels like I'm hiding something. It's aggravating because either way I'm hurting her; but must I sacrifice myself to ensure her happiness? even if that happiness is based on something I dont believe in anymore? How do I remain true to my newly garnered self and remain true to her? right now my mind is saying, "let her work through these things and be honest about everything, because in the end she'll see that you dont feel like you're doing anything wrong." I'm hoping that's the right thing to do, I dont want to lose my mother, but at the same time I dont want to lose myself, because it has been too long a journey to get where I am today.