I got no one to talk to, so I'll write here...
I have to let some emotions out...
Actually I don't even know where to start or if theres a beggining at all. I don't really want to talk about the things that aren't going so well in my life and around me, because it just becomes a reminder for me, I don't want that anymore. I will say this, I think its really repulsive that my mothers husband("father"), notice I don't call him "dad", can't speak a word to me just because Im gay, its so pathetic. I know my mom wants him to talk to me and she has no other way to tell him than by fighting with him whenever theres an issue that somehow involves me. A while back my mom told me that she was fighting for me with my dad, and I told her to please not speak to him about me, no reason for that. I never want anyone to do something for me that I don't want them to. I feel like Im in this position where I have to convince and sell myself so that my "father" will restart talking to me.
I don't think I should do that, last time we ever talked it seemed like he wasn't willing to go beyond religion on me being gay. I could tell him many times that "god" doesn't chose our sexual orientation and he will still no listen to me, so why try? Why bather? When I truly and deeply lost all feelings for him, it will take alot from him for me to even feel that he could possibly be my father. I guess he got punished by having a gay sister that he won't admitt is gay but my mom confirmed this to me, and for having a son thats also gay. I can just imagine what would had happen if I were into drag.
On the good news...
Tomorrow is my second interview at Nordstrom, I hope it all goes well and the customer service manager likes me and would consider hiring me. Damn, if I get this job I will sure tell the whole world about it, I need to start working and make the best out of my life, make myself just a bit happier, move on to better things and better myself. Bitches wait and see =)
Thank you guys for reading my crazy emotional entries and for giving me support when I need it, this is sometimes my way of letting go and venting, so I appreciate when someone reads entries like this one and care about what I have to say, thank you -_-
Actually I don't even know where to start or if theres a beggining at all. I don't really want to talk about the things that aren't going so well in my life and around me, because it just becomes a reminder for me, I don't want that anymore. I will say this, I think its really repulsive that my mothers husband("father"), notice I don't call him "dad", can't speak a word to me just because Im gay, its so pathetic. I know my mom wants him to talk to me and she has no other way to tell him than by fighting with him whenever theres an issue that somehow involves me. A while back my mom told me that she was fighting for me with my dad, and I told her to please not speak to him about me, no reason for that. I never want anyone to do something for me that I don't want them to. I feel like Im in this position where I have to convince and sell myself so that my "father" will restart talking to me.
I don't think I should do that, last time we ever talked it seemed like he wasn't willing to go beyond religion on me being gay. I could tell him many times that "god" doesn't chose our sexual orientation and he will still no listen to me, so why try? Why bather? When I truly and deeply lost all feelings for him, it will take alot from him for me to even feel that he could possibly be my father. I guess he got punished by having a gay sister that he won't admitt is gay but my mom confirmed this to me, and for having a son thats also gay. I can just imagine what would had happen if I were into drag.
On the good news...
Tomorrow is my second interview at Nordstrom, I hope it all goes well and the customer service manager likes me and would consider hiring me. Damn, if I get this job I will sure tell the whole world about it, I need to start working and make the best out of my life, make myself just a bit happier, move on to better things and better myself. Bitches wait and see =)
Thank you guys for reading my crazy emotional entries and for giving me support when I need it, this is sometimes my way of letting go and venting, so I appreciate when someone reads entries like this one and care about what I have to say, thank you -_-