5.13pm
lately, i've been shattered.
and generally a bit run down.
but i'm completely happy.
but i'm unnerved because i'm not sure how long it'll last.
all my thoughts seem to centre around starkey. which i hate. but maybe it;s just because he's at home this week. and he's at the forefront of my mind. he better stay for a while at the party tonight, i'll be so upset if he only hangs around politely for an hour. i havn't seen him in a few days, except for collecting a pizza off him last night, which lasted a grand total of 10seconds. long story.
i never wanted to be dependent. on anyone. but i am. and so much more dependent than i realised. not just him but my friends.
maybe i'll feel different when he's back at uni? although i usually just end up missing him.
i never thought long distance would work. but it does. well. i just have to get used to the fact that when he's at home he can't be with me every waking minute of everyday.
wednesday night was lovely. it's always nice to be alone, to have a proper conversation and a cuddle.
yet just as much i love going out, tonight is alice's party, and there will be a few of her college friends, but mainly there will be my friends.
this past year has been fantastic. i've become so close to so many people and when we all leave in september, i honestly don't know what i'm gona do. it's so hard to stay in touch with 12people split all over the country.
and i don't even know if i'm going to uni. that's another thing to think about. but if i stay here, i'll just feel worse.
i've got some serious thinking to do over the next few months. which should be easy considering i won't be going out. i have some serious saving to do, benicassim is totally paid for and booked. italy is more than half paid for. magaluf = semi-paid.
my summer is going to be great. this year is going to be great. working hard and playing hard, as it were. girls aloud and manchester will be AWESOME. and richards 18th on the 3rd will be ace. and newcastle for a few days at half term.
ive got rosie jenny n janeifer coming over in an hour. we're discussing wether or not the guys should come to valencia. jenny and i vote no. rosie and jane vote yes.
usually im stubborn about this but i dont even feel ve got the energy to argue. but idf i don't i'll only be disappointed.
that's pretty much my life. school sucks. french is more aweful than i could have imagined. english, for the first time in my life, im really not enjoying. and i blame my teachers.
my predictions for tonight:
i'll get trashed,
i'll have an argument with starkey cus he only stays for an hour
i'll fall out with one of the girls (my bet is rozzer, because i have bad feeling about discussions of this arvo)
hannah.w will be sick.
i'll make a twat out of myself.
there will be some major drama involving either rosie n zach or alice in some way.
gut feelings,
they're usually right.
so why do i feel like shit right now?
i should be happy. i have everything ive ever wanted.
and generally a bit run down.
but i'm completely happy.
but i'm unnerved because i'm not sure how long it'll last.
all my thoughts seem to centre around starkey. which i hate. but maybe it;s just because he's at home this week. and he's at the forefront of my mind. he better stay for a while at the party tonight, i'll be so upset if he only hangs around politely for an hour. i havn't seen him in a few days, except for collecting a pizza off him last night, which lasted a grand total of 10seconds. long story.
i never wanted to be dependent. on anyone. but i am. and so much more dependent than i realised. not just him but my friends.
maybe i'll feel different when he's back at uni? although i usually just end up missing him.
i never thought long distance would work. but it does. well. i just have to get used to the fact that when he's at home he can't be with me every waking minute of everyday.
wednesday night was lovely. it's always nice to be alone, to have a proper conversation and a cuddle.
yet just as much i love going out, tonight is alice's party, and there will be a few of her college friends, but mainly there will be my friends.
this past year has been fantastic. i've become so close to so many people and when we all leave in september, i honestly don't know what i'm gona do. it's so hard to stay in touch with 12people split all over the country.
and i don't even know if i'm going to uni. that's another thing to think about. but if i stay here, i'll just feel worse.
i've got some serious thinking to do over the next few months. which should be easy considering i won't be going out. i have some serious saving to do, benicassim is totally paid for and booked. italy is more than half paid for. magaluf = semi-paid.
my summer is going to be great. this year is going to be great. working hard and playing hard, as it were. girls aloud and manchester will be AWESOME. and richards 18th on the 3rd will be ace. and newcastle for a few days at half term.
ive got rosie jenny n janeifer coming over in an hour. we're discussing wether or not the guys should come to valencia. jenny and i vote no. rosie and jane vote yes.
usually im stubborn about this but i dont even feel ve got the energy to argue. but idf i don't i'll only be disappointed.
that's pretty much my life. school sucks. french is more aweful than i could have imagined. english, for the first time in my life, im really not enjoying. and i blame my teachers.
my predictions for tonight:
i'll get trashed,
i'll have an argument with starkey cus he only stays for an hour
i'll fall out with one of the girls (my bet is rozzer, because i have bad feeling about discussions of this arvo)
hannah.w will be sick.
i'll make a twat out of myself.
there will be some major drama involving either rosie n zach or alice in some way.
gut feelings,
they're usually right.
so why do i feel like shit right now?
i should be happy. i have everything ive ever wanted.