freak out mode

[famefantastick]

damn
i have never known what stress is until this week
argh!!!
i'm in total freak out mode
like sitting watching gd and my heart starts to race and i can't stop it
then i'll be driving and like can't breath
it's so weird, not even when i'm working or doing something for school, just randomly

i'm not scared of interviews, i'm scared of big airports with lots of people and getting completely fucked around. i will be traveling completely bymeself, and don't have a single dime to mess it up.
i also have dentist work done on tuesday - and i'm not good with mouth pain, i'm going to be a freakin basket case.

i'm haveing to peice my flights together for VA - scary
and i'll have to stay two nights - scarier
ah
oh and what about getting to the airport!!
i'm not a take charge, ok ok, not a take something away from other people person
i'm going to be there for like 2 hours until no one else needs a cab
and then what if cab guys is weird!!
-like fresh prince of belaire!

i'll be fine, i know
it's all the what ifs - and the fact that getting out of a situation is going to be hard bymyself and no money

any one want to come to richmond??
takers?
i'm staying at the radisson... :)

well we'll see
week until st.loius which is no big
and the next week VA
which i could just bury my head under the covers and never come out for

i should just play pretend and carry a breifcase like i'm some super cool executive - that could be fun, no one messes with executives...