no doubt -- after posting in my personal journal i have had several ladies say they were considering FAM but now they're scared! and i hate that because i still totally trust FAM.
i hate to say it -- considering we were TTA and that means i was irresponsible -- but i think i wasn't keeping a close enough eye on my CF. i charted everything else but was inconsistent in charting my CF. i would note it but not write it down -- i did this on several occasions.
i don't think i ovulated early -- i have had such a normal month -- no sickness, nothing else that would indicate i didn't ovulate when i thought i would. plus we fully abstained for almost a week after i ovulated. i know you don't have to wait that long but we were just busy, tired, etc.
we don't use condoms -- we abstain or do other stuff. a friend of mine who is pretty young with 2 kids said she was interested but was very worried she'd get pregnant again. i told her i have full confidence in FAM but that i think she should chart longer before putting it totally into practice (as i mentioned, this was only my 3rd cycle charting) and she should also use barrier methods during the first part of her cycle.
i can't be certain -- but i am thinking i missed some pre-ovulatory CF. it would have been several days out from ovulation as i had a general idea when it would occur -- and normally i have a good pattern of CF -- i noted that before I knew about FAM.
so my suggestion is to be vigilant about checking your CF, use barrier methods or abstain if in a part of your cycle when fertilization is possible (even if it is highly unlikely, as i must have thought that day to be).
i know that sounds very normal, as if you're just supposed to do that anyway when charting with FAM. but i definitely was not trying to conceive and think i just missed a step.
what i've been wondering, though -- if FAM is generally as reliable as other bc methods (meaning there is a small percentage of failure rate when used properly) -- what causes pregnancy in those small percentage of cases? if it was used properly, a pregnancy shouldn't have occurred, right?
honestly i do think i was doing everything properly & the only thing i can come up with, looking at my chart, is my lack of consistently noting CF. i know in my mind, though, that i didn't have sex at any time when i thought "this might be dangerous". so i must have been wrong about when something was or was not dangerous -- either because i failed to note the CF or i failed to assess the signs i was noting.
Were you on hbc before you started charting? I'm curious because I am currently charting my fourth cycle after being on HBC for about 6 years, and each cycle is increasingly longer--24, 26, and then 27 days. I've heard that it can take between 3-6 months for your cycle to regulate itself again, though. I've also heard that something like 20% of women using FAM get pregnant within the first year, and this rate decreases in sebsequant years. This IS sort of a 'rumor' that I don't have a source for though ...
Please, anyone correct me if that's not accurate. There's a lot I'm still learning, and I'm so curious!
i was on on & off HBC for a couple years -- a couple years ago. meaning -- i stopped taking HBC a couple years ago.
in nov of last year i got a depo provera shot as a prelim for having my tubes tied. then, before the sterilization procedure, my husband and i decided "let's wait!" so the depo lasted 3 months -- nov, dec and jan.
so i haven't had any hbc in my body since the depo wore off (roughly 10 months between end of depo and conception), and before that it had been a few years.
if that's the case, then it sounds like CF is to blame. there was probably some nice, fertile fluid hanging out by your cervix. the dry day rule scares me for this very reason. i'm hyper-paranoid, and don't trust the dry day rule at all, even though it's in the book. i consider myself safe for the first 5 days, per the first rule, then for only three more days after that, assuming i don't notice any fertile fluid on those days (kindof an inversion of the dry day rule). then, starting on day 9, i consider myself unsafe until i have a confirmed temp shift. even that wouldn't be strict enough for me if i absolutely positively thought we couldn't handle kids right now - i would probably only consider five days safe, then, dry or not, no penetration until after the shift, which is usually well after day 20 for me.
i agree! when i began using FAM i planned on playing it very safe -- considering sperm to live for 5 days and giving even that a nice cushion.
i think i got lax and some sneaky CF got me! so word to the wise -- if youre TTA, don't let things slide. we are fortunate that while we had planned to have no more children -- the fact that we probably now will have one more isn't going to ruin our lives.
personally i think having a child, at pretty much any age will not ruin one's life. but i know there are couples who practice FAM who are TTA who are not in the same circumstances as me & my husband. so play it safe!
Yeah, we absolutely can't have kids, so we don't have any sex from day 1 of my cycle until after my ovulation, which is around day 18 or so. Then we give it 4 days, not 3, and then we use condoms whenever we actually do have "real" sex.
we always use a condom between day 7 and oh, around day 10 or so. then because of condom failure rates, we usually abstain until 2 days after the temp shift. (which turns out to be 5 days after ovulation since my body takes a while to recognize or produce the progesterone.)
i hate to say it -- considering we were TTA and that means i was irresponsible -- but i think i wasn't keeping a close enough eye on my CF. i charted everything else but was inconsistent in charting my CF. i would note it but not write it down -- i did this on several occasions.
i don't think i ovulated early -- i have had such a normal month -- no sickness, nothing else that would indicate i didn't ovulate when i thought i would. plus we fully abstained for almost a week after i ovulated. i know you don't have to wait that long but we were just busy, tired, etc.
we don't use condoms -- we abstain or do other stuff. a friend of mine who is pretty young with 2 kids said she was interested but was very worried she'd get pregnant again. i told her i have full confidence in FAM but that i think she should chart longer before putting it totally into practice (as i mentioned, this was only my 3rd cycle charting) and she should also use barrier methods during the first part of her cycle.
i can't be certain -- but i am thinking i missed some pre-ovulatory CF. it would have been several days out from ovulation as i had a general idea when it would occur -- and normally i have a good pattern of CF -- i noted that before I knew about FAM.
so my suggestion is to be vigilant about checking your CF, use barrier methods or abstain if in a part of your cycle when fertilization is possible (even if it is highly unlikely, as i must have thought that day to be).
i know that sounds very normal, as if you're just supposed to do that anyway when charting with FAM. but i definitely was not trying to conceive and think i just missed a step.
what i've been wondering, though -- if FAM is generally as reliable as other bc methods (meaning there is a small percentage of failure rate when used properly) -- what causes pregnancy in those small percentage of cases? if it was used properly, a pregnancy shouldn't have occurred, right?
honestly i do think i was doing everything properly & the only thing i can come up with, looking at my chart, is my lack of consistently noting CF. i know in my mind, though, that i didn't have sex at any time when i thought "this might be dangerous". so i must have been wrong about when something was or was not dangerous -- either because i failed to note the CF or i failed to assess the signs i was noting.
thoughts?
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Please, anyone correct me if that's not accurate. There's a lot I'm still learning, and I'm so curious!
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in nov of last year i got a depo provera shot as a prelim for having my tubes tied. then, before the sterilization procedure, my husband and i decided "let's wait!" so the depo lasted 3 months -- nov, dec and jan.
so i haven't had any hbc in my body since the depo wore off (roughly 10 months between end of depo and conception), and before that it had been a few years.
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i think i got lax and some sneaky CF got me! so word to the wise -- if youre TTA, don't let things slide. we are fortunate that while we had planned to have no more children -- the fact that we probably now will have one more isn't going to ruin our lives.
personally i think having a child, at pretty much any age will not ruin one's life. but i know there are couples who practice FAM who are TTA who are not in the same circumstances as me & my husband. so play it safe!
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we always use a condom between day 7 and oh, around day 10 or so. then because of condom failure rates, we usually abstain until 2 days after the temp shift. (which turns out to be 5 days after ovulation since my body takes a while to recognize or produce the progesterone.)
:-(
congrats on the daughter?
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