Calling in the Flock

Aug 19, 2004 01:30

I know it's been a long time since you've been called home. It's time children to rejoin the worship of our Lord and Saviour ( Read more... )

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sarahkitty August 19 2004, 08:58:21 UTC
Oh no! God is angered at me! What shall I do?

You must help me, falwellfriends! You must help me cleanse myself of this unworthy, unclean behavior.

What should I do? I tried showering, but that becomes enjoyable too! I think about Harry Potter all the time! And when I'm in the shower, well, I can't help but think about his dark hair, his green eyes, his pale skin, and his fuzz as he nuzzles against me and kisses my neck...oh, it's so good, er bad. Should I go without showering? You must help me.

*bites nails in fear of God being angered by her* You know, if he's angered at me for my showering routines, it must be really bad, given that it's focused on me and not on all those people killing one another.

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falwellfriends August 19 2004, 09:08:22 UTC
I am so glad you came to me with this my child. Showering is indeed a cesspool for sinfulness. You must cease this act of rubbing and carressing yourself while thinking of little boys!

The only way to save you from the devil is to have a man of the cloth wash you and cleanse your soul.

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lonestarkate August 19 2004, 09:10:45 UTC
Okay, which of the fen are you?

You are the best sockpuppet EVAR.

(Okay, well, you aren't as good as evilsockpuppet, but he's in a class by himself.)

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falwellfriends August 19 2004, 09:33:28 UTC
fen? We at Falwellfriends do not align ourselves with anything but Our Lord and Saviour and of course Jerry.

You are in need of saving so I have added you to the flock of Falwellfriends.

Repent Evil Doer!

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lonestarkate August 19 2004, 13:53:18 UTC
Not a chance.

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sarahkitty August 19 2004, 09:21:42 UTC
So does that mean that if a man is clothed he can shower with me? Is it ok for me to think of a clothed Harry Potter dripping wet, sucking on my ear as he caresses me with a soft sponge with silky bubbles?

Thank you so much for this clarification! I'll try harder to think of Harry clothed in the future, although, I can't imagine but think that he wont be happy to have to be clothed all the time.

But then, he was stuck in a closet for 11 years. Perhaps he'll just think it's normal for him to be dressed while I'm showering.

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falwellfriends August 19 2004, 09:37:17 UTC
It seems that you are much more in the grasp of the devil than I had originally thought.

Look into your heart and find Jerry. He will guide you. Give in to his love.

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sarahkitty August 19 2004, 09:40:36 UTC
When you say "give into his love", do you mean I need to sleep with him? Should I be thinking about a clothed Jerry in the shower? Because, well, I hate to say this, but um, he's not as hot as Harry Potter is.

But I'll try, because I really want to be saved. The thought of God being really mad at me scares me.

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sarahkitty August 19 2004, 09:41:11 UTC
Wait....can I think about Jerry AND Harry in the shower? I think I might be able to enjoy it more that way.

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falwellfriends August 19 2004, 09:50:45 UTC
I must say that I am at a loss. You seem to have the desire to be saved, yet you are clutched tightly by the hand of the devil. I will consult with Jerry on you.

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sarahkitty August 19 2004, 10:09:43 UTC
I must say, why let go of the hand of the devil when he such delightful fingers???

(And whot the hell cares where they've been. Some talents are just rare!)

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