If only one tear were enough to express my sadness
okay, so I went to FTC yesterday, (pretty pointless) and I ran a Mamma Mia workshop and then we performed for like 30 people and it was dumb but I got to see the most beautiful and talented and funny and nice and...and....PERFECT guy I could ever imagine. See, I'm really picky when it comes to guys. I don't/can't tolerate guys who are rude or not self disciplined or are stupid and unmotivated and I came to the conclusion long ago that down-to-the-core theatre poeple can only be a long term relationship with other theatre people like them. Is this accurate? I mean, by no means do I not expand myself to guys outside of the department...but in all honesty, I've found that strickingly true. And he is like the guys who only appear in like Disney movies or drift into one of your fantasy dreams. He doesnt have perfect skin or is "Hollister Hot" but he's got gorgeous blue eyes and a great smile and...omigosh I could just die. He got a girlfriend and I'm pretty much crushed. There's nothing I can do. He lives three hours away, she's in the same performance troupe as he is and I dont want to be a bitch and rip them apart because that's just wrong. (By the way, she looks like the whore from One Tree Hill) Not only that but he's going away to college next year, and we'd look so cute together I swear and our similarites are so alike it's scary. Omg. I don't even know what to do with myself. I feel so unsettled always and I only personally met him yesterday. What am I going to do with myself?
I give up.
I give up.