The name's Washington. George Washington.
Everyone has heard the myth of George Washington's wooden teeth. For that matter, everyone has heard the myth of George Washington chopping down the cherry tree, but it's his teeth that are going to be talked about now. While everyone has heard that George Washington had wooden teeth, nobody has heard anything beyond that. Simply that he had wooden teeth. The end. This myth was generated in battle, when one of Washington's soldiers saw Washington's teeth splinter. No accounts, however, have been made toward Washington's teeth having an odd color, as they would if they were wood. In fact, Washington's teeth were made of ivory. White-ish in color and splinters like wood. How Washington lost his teeth, now that's a story in itself.
As with most youths of the time, Washington joined the military. His ambition led him to rank as highly as possible, so he joined the British organization MI2, a precursor to the current MI5. He was the first American-born member of the British Secret Service. Despite being a secret agent, he was often used as a public face. For example, in history books he's credited with helping to spark the French and Indian War. This is true, though, despite what the history books say, he did so without firing a shot. In 1753, Washington was sent into French Ohio on reconnaissance. The British had heard the French were building some sort of super weapon there, so Washington was sent in to ascertain the truth, and, if necessary, destroy the weapon. In fact, the French were following Leonardo Da Vinci's blueprints for the machine gun. At the time, such a weapon would have been absolutely devastating on the battlefield.
Washington's mission was almost complete when he was captured by the French in the middle of planting gunpowder all over the factory they were building the machine guns in. They employed several types of torture in their attempts to interrogate him, one of which was slowly pulling out each of his teeth. The French kept Washington there for a year, interrogating him as much as they could. Unfortunately for them, the British didn't inform their American agents nearly as well as they did their British agents. Apart from the few missions he had been sent on up to that point, Washington was unable to tell the French anything about British plans. It's not known why the French didn't kill him. The prominent theory is that they were planning to use him against the British. Perhaps, in the long run, they succeeded.
Over that year, Washington's will was almost completely broken. Finally, something happened. Nobody knows what. But something got Washington back onto his feet. He managed to escape from the guards, plant more gunpowder charges, and then used a secret, new French invention, which wouldn't be made public for over half a century, to blow up the factory: the match. In 1754, he finally made it back to Virginia, and rallied troops to build Fort Necessity to ward off the imminent attack by the French. The fort was unsuccessful. The French recaptured Washington as well as his troops, and forced Washington to sign a confession to having destroyed the Jumonville factory. This confession sparked the Seven Years War in Europe.
Within months, Washington was released by the French. This, too, has baffled historians, and only serves as further evidence that he was turned into a sleeper agent against the British, whose commands weren't activated until it was too late for the French to capitalize on it. In any case, after getting released, Washington retired from the Secret Service, as well as from the military in general. As a resignation gift, he was given his famous ivory teeth by fellow American MI2 agent Benjamin Franklin. Washington worked his plantation until he was eventually brought back into service to fight against the British in the American Revolution.
The cherry tree myth was also inspired by a covert operation of Washington's, but that story can wait for now.
As with most youths of the time, Washington joined the military. His ambition led him to rank as highly as possible, so he joined the British organization MI2, a precursor to the current MI5. He was the first American-born member of the British Secret Service. Despite being a secret agent, he was often used as a public face. For example, in history books he's credited with helping to spark the French and Indian War. This is true, though, despite what the history books say, he did so without firing a shot. In 1753, Washington was sent into French Ohio on reconnaissance. The British had heard the French were building some sort of super weapon there, so Washington was sent in to ascertain the truth, and, if necessary, destroy the weapon. In fact, the French were following Leonardo Da Vinci's blueprints for the machine gun. At the time, such a weapon would have been absolutely devastating on the battlefield.
Washington's mission was almost complete when he was captured by the French in the middle of planting gunpowder all over the factory they were building the machine guns in. They employed several types of torture in their attempts to interrogate him, one of which was slowly pulling out each of his teeth. The French kept Washington there for a year, interrogating him as much as they could. Unfortunately for them, the British didn't inform their American agents nearly as well as they did their British agents. Apart from the few missions he had been sent on up to that point, Washington was unable to tell the French anything about British plans. It's not known why the French didn't kill him. The prominent theory is that they were planning to use him against the British. Perhaps, in the long run, they succeeded.
Over that year, Washington's will was almost completely broken. Finally, something happened. Nobody knows what. But something got Washington back onto his feet. He managed to escape from the guards, plant more gunpowder charges, and then used a secret, new French invention, which wouldn't be made public for over half a century, to blow up the factory: the match. In 1754, he finally made it back to Virginia, and rallied troops to build Fort Necessity to ward off the imminent attack by the French. The fort was unsuccessful. The French recaptured Washington as well as his troops, and forced Washington to sign a confession to having destroyed the Jumonville factory. This confession sparked the Seven Years War in Europe.
Within months, Washington was released by the French. This, too, has baffled historians, and only serves as further evidence that he was turned into a sleeper agent against the British, whose commands weren't activated until it was too late for the French to capitalize on it. In any case, after getting released, Washington retired from the Secret Service, as well as from the military in general. As a resignation gift, he was given his famous ivory teeth by fellow American MI2 agent Benjamin Franklin. Washington worked his plantation until he was eventually brought back into service to fight against the British in the American Revolution.
The cherry tree myth was also inspired by a covert operation of Washington's, but that story can wait for now.