OH MY GOD STOPPPPP, THE TWO OF YOU ARE THE WORST (BY WHICH I MEAN BEST). God, House Rockefeller or something and they have some patch of land way out on the coast and steadfastly do whatever they can to not get involved in the war.
THEY ARE THE REGION RESPONSIBLE FOR WINE PRODUCTION!!!!! House Rockefeller omg, D Y I N G . All they do is hang out and get drunk and duel with each other and laugh at the state of the rest of the Seven Kingdoms and basically the rest of Westeros has totally forgotten about them because they are completely worthless!
OH MY GOD GREATEST. so literally, all they have to fight over are vineyards, it's really not like they're going to be influential in battle so they sort of never leave. Sometimes they get ravens with treaty terms and shit but either a) the terms require them to do things, which is something they never like to do or b) they're all drunk when they arrive so they often get like, tossed in a fire and shit. I think Amy might've married in from Lannister stock or something but she hates literally everyone she's ever met so the wine country is a good place for her to mellow out.
OH GOD I AM DYING AT THE IDEA OF DRUNK DUELS. You know Andy lost an eye once because Amy got a little out of hand.
Poor dude can't catch a break. And Seth isn't much better: he's somehow convinced that this drunken principality could some day be worth something other than booze so he's always holed up in their equivalent of a library, that is mostly waterlogged scrolls and shits. And dyiiiiiiiiing at Amy coming from Lannister stock hahahahahahaha. They married her off to Lord Arnett because there was no redeeming her at Casterly Rock ok.
AND LOL YES. All their drunk duels! Ser Andy and Ser Suds and Ser Hader -- any and all battle wounds they have accumulated have come from their own countrymen. It's equal parts hilarious and sad, hahahaha.
Maya sent him off to the Wall one year because she was fed up of hearing about how by rights he should really have some land but he'd really like to be a wandering troubadour. Crying at Seth just stuck in their library surrounded by bottles of wine trying to find something useful.
Kristen has a habit of setting them challenges when she's drunk and bored and it always ends poorly/with blood.
Hahahahahahaha. And he came back! He came back with a snowy song in his heart! And Maya was all, "wait, I thought when you went to the Wall, you stayed at the Wall," and Will's all " . . . they didn't want me?"
omg she so would! She sort of has a soft-spot for carnage and when men are all bloodied and beating people up, so she's alllllll for encouraging and enabling this drunken sport.
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GRRM couldn't have written it better, lbr.
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OH GOD I AM DYING AT THE IDEA OF DRUNK DUELS. You know Andy lost an eye once because Amy got a little out of hand.
(Note: Will Forte is their Jon Snow.)
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S C R E A M I N G , O M G hahahahaha.
Poor dude can't catch a break. And Seth isn't much better: he's somehow convinced that this drunken principality could some day be worth something other than booze so he's always holed up in their equivalent of a library, that is mostly waterlogged scrolls and shits. And dyiiiiiiiiing at Amy coming from Lannister stock hahahahahahaha. They married her off to Lord Arnett because there was no redeeming her at Casterly Rock ok.
AND LOL YES. All their drunk duels! Ser Andy and Ser Suds and Ser Hader -- any and all battle wounds they have accumulated have come from their own countrymen. It's equal parts hilarious and sad, hahahaha.
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Kristen has a habit of setting them challenges when she's drunk and bored and it always ends poorly/with blood.
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omg she so would! She sort of has a soft-spot for carnage and when men are all bloodied and beating people up, so she's alllllll for encouraging and enabling this drunken sport.
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