(no subject)
F · I · C
- under construction -
Note: a selected listing of fic written since I started this LJ. Any fic not listed here can be found under the fic tag.
A N O T H E R
H A P P Y
D A Y
FORGIVE THE KIDS
(alice/elliot)
the good daughter and the bad son share the same blood.
B A T T L E S T A R
G A L A C T I C A ;
the overflow of the kitchen sink
(assorted)
it's almost comforting in its simplicity, but perhaps therein lies the danger; what we're talking about here is this: i want what he's got.
B E T T E R
O F F
T E D ;
honesty: the very best policy
(ted/veronica)
at veridian, we pride ourselves on being truthful - as well as using said truthfulness against our enemies.
B A N D
o f
B R O T H E R S ;
and chaos is luck
(ensemble)
it all rattles and collects in corners, the trick of events and the way things like war will come to be both told and remembered.
the green grass stretches
(speirs)
there are not real words to phrase how the savagery and things like battle make more sense than this; it is simple though.
B O N E S ;
wishbone
(brennan/booth)
pull it till it breaks (or, an assortment of moments collected among the living and the dead (but mostly the dead)).
T h e
B O U R N E
T R I L O G Y ;
circumlocutory
(pam landy/noah vosen)
neither has ever understood the carrot; they both rule with a stick.
C L O V E R F I E L D ;
jurassic park is on channel seven
(marlena/rob, au)
it's a total disaster movie cliche, and she's sure of it - when it all goes to hell you start holding on to intangible things like the truth.
deadened streets, and other songs
(marlena/rob, au)
they beat the odds - there is escape; that's really just the beginning.
C O M M U N I T Y ;
a room filled up with mosquitoes
(jeff/britta)
to quote the great prophet lady gaga, you and me could write a bad romance. or something (in spanish, we would say: un romance malo; senor chang would be so proud).
PERSONAL INCOME TAX 101
(jeff/britta)
uncle sam wants YOU; the methods of evasion are strictly limited: also known as, the one where jeff and britta get married to save themselves from the law.
C R I M I N A L
M I N D S ;
another apple to slice into pieces
(hotch/prentiss)
maps can chart more than geography - they’ve been everywhere and they’ve seen it all.
C R O W N
D U E L ;
the flower of carnage
(mel/shevraeth, au)
successful rescues do not always ensure successful futures. the marquis of shevraeth rescues mel from certain danger -- their story unravels from there.
D A M A G E S ;
she wore plastic boots for rain
(ellen/tom)
she didn’t plan this, but sometimes it’s easiest to run with the obvious answers.
F R I N G E ;
on your gun barrel, you see the general fear
(olivia/charlie, olivia/alt!charlie, olivia/peter)
an outline of time spent between worlds.
G A M E
o f
T H R O N E S ;
stage blood is not enough
(cersei/ned)
last rites at the end of the world (or, cersei pays her last respects before ned’s final day of reckoning).
the joinery
(cersei/ned, cersei/jaime, au)
by what right does the wolf judge the lion -- ned stark takes the iron throne, and with it, a lannister for a wife.
the skeleton's daughter
(jeyne/jaime)
the smallfolk love tales of the predator and his prey; the smallfolk love to lie, for neither party can be found here. (two years later, jaime delivers a proposal of marriage to jeyne, the girl of the crag).
T h e
H U N G E R
G A M E S ;
younger revolutions (it's getting cold here by the sea)
(johanna/finnick)
they say: the winners write the history to be read; panem has been witness to other lovers.
I N C E P T I O N ;
la petite mort (the little death machine)
(arthur/ariadne)
a kick can come in all forms; she’s learning fast.
style lesson number one: knowing what you want (and "the not giving a damn" remix)
(arthur/ariadne)
coco chanel had rules about accessorizing; they probably don't apply here.
RIP VAN WINKLE
(arthur/ariadne)
in a town that does not exist, in a desert without a name, she will turn to him and say: “I took a nap and slept for years.” all he will say is: “I know.” (a collection of moments best left to the dreamers).
THE DREAMERS
(arthur/eames/ofc)
he is a very good forger. he can forget himself. he never forges the ones he loves.
I N G L O U R I O U S
B A S T E R D S ;
broken jaw and all
(bridget von hammersmark/archie hicox, au)
two guys and a girl walk out of a bar; this is what happens next.
pseudonyms
(shosanna/hellstrom, shosanna/zoller, au)
predestination does not allow an altering of history, try as you might; berlin after the war.
intermission
(shosanna/hellstrom, au)
no language has the words they could ever use; they get three days.
every poem an epitaph
(shosanna/hellstrom)
when they meet again, in a restaurant, a bottle of champagne and a young war hero for company, they will not be strangers; their kind has never been strangers to each other.
L I F E ;
peeled oranges
(dani)
at one point or another, it's got to get easier, the load's got to get lighter.
L I T T L E
W O M E N ;
a cold hard season
(jo/laurie)
they get a little older - time does that, time, as a rule, offers room for things like reconsideration and doubt.
L O S T ;
the tower of london remains
(kate/various)
you can try and outrun the karmic wheel, Miss Austen - that doesn't mean you ever stood a chance. you got to earn your keep.
the collection box is full
(desmond/claire)
they are all making mistakes in the name of things unreal, unclear; men die and wander as ghosts and they are all stupid enough to look for an escape.
lincoln log cabins
(jack/kate, kate/sawyer)
the manuals and the stepford wives make this look so much easier.
the appropriate travel arrangements have been made
(assorted)
the problem is that this isn't limited to just dreams anymore - the island followed them home.
you're not ulysses
(richard)
everyone keeps getting older - even him.
the predatory nature of the sky
(jack/juliet, juliet/james)
the island watches; juliet never left; they all came tumbling back.
bind with grout
(jack/juliet)
a confrontation in confined space (the bathroom smells like soap and him and her).
the worst-case scenario survival guide
(original characters)
a plane crashes in the jungle. if no one is alive to hear it, does it make a sound?
we don't bleed (when we don't fight)
(charles/eloise)
five points of reference in the life of eloise hawking.
jungle rot
(jacob/charlotte)
she said, “this place is death,” and after, she died; after, she met a man - he said his name was jacob.
N E W
G I R L ;
lay my head on the hood of your car
(jess/nick)
jess moves on. and gets it on with her roommate. normal stuff. nothing to see here.
all my pipe dreams made me insane
(jess/nick, au)
nothing like ringing in the new year with an old habit.
P R I M E
S U S P E C T ;
a nation of rats
(lou/augie, au)
you’re either on the take, or the take’s on you: detectives calderon and blando’s shared history in narcotics.
you cannot have an opponent if you keep saying yes
(jane/reg)
look at this: a united front; jane and reg return to the city.
i used to carry the gun
(lou/augie, jane/reg)
two weeks out, both augie and jane pack their bags.
S T A R
T R E K ;
accidents
(mccoy/chapel)
the problem with sex and love and every transgression in between is the simple lack of a step-by-step recipe to follow.
S T U D I O
6 0
o n
t h e
S U N S E T
S T R I P ;
declassified documents as of 2002
(jack/jordan)
the Vince Guaraldi Trio will set the mood right, and maybe, if they catch it in the right light, Old Hollywood will keep them company.
S U N S H I N E ;
and oxidation is the compromise
(cassie/mace)
their backs are against the wall - maybe that’s why, or maybe it’s even simpler than that: space is different, and they are lonely and they are restless.
the abyss will gaze back into you
(cassie/mace)
in all times of vulnerability, you burrow in deeper; winter will be here soon.
S U P E R
8 ;
the red badge of courage
(joe/alice)
the problem with summer has always been that it only lasts a season. joe grows up, joe is seventeen, and maybe, joe gets brave.
T E R M I N A T O R :
T h e
S A R A H
C O N N O R
C H R O N I C L E S ;
upon your belly you shall go
(cameron/derek, cameron/john)
the machine is fake and it lies; of this derek is certain - and this, it makes them equals.
T O U C H I N G
E V I L ;
things i did when i was dead
(branca/creegan)
killers kill and lovers love - things fall apart, just like they are always apt to do.
W A N T E D ;
the victor and the vanquished
(fox/cross)
she has forgotten the in-between - that sometimes there can be more than dead or alive.
T h e
W E S T
W I N G ;
ann coulter wouldn't dare
(ainsley/sam)
seven odd facts for an increasingly odd girl.
a violent yet flammable world
(amy/hoynes)
it's not like it's foreign for her, bringing men down to their knees; it's just that it's never supposed to be reciprocated.
miss jane austen presents
(ainsley/sam)
she likes neat things and she likes order and maybe that’s the problem with romance, right?: it’s too messy, there are too many complications, and more than that, there are too many plot twists.
C R O S S O V E R S ;
god save the queen -- and the ninjas, too
(the west wing/harry potter/the office/30 rock)
it's like one giant practical joke after another, isn't it, mr. prime minister?
it's rarely sunny in philadelphia
(the office/30 rock)
a little known fact is that Dunder-Mifflin is also a subsidiary of the Sheinhardt Wig Company.
your neighbors at hand
(band of brothers/the pacific/inglourious basterds/original)
the war ends, so you find a house: four strangers at the start and end of their world.
R P F ;
*note: most is locked. for reasons.
a bachelor of human kinetics
(k.knightley/j.mcavoy)
someday, with enough courage, they may toast to the quieter of places, to libraries, dark theaters and empty hotel halls.
agatha christie, in the parlor, with the wrench
(k.knightley/j.mcavoy)
it is a question of categories, of placing each thing in its rightful slot; the two of them belong somewhere (it just probably isn't here).
the highways of los angeles
(k.knightley/j.mcavoy)
age is hardly treasured behind the gilded walls of tinseltown; wisdom falls under a similar heading.
mantels for golden idols
(j.bardem/m.cotillard)
the pretty gold trinkets can be found next to the gift bags - be sure not to leave them behind when you go.
so sympathetic to your character
(k.knightley/j.mcavoy/m.goode)
they are well-mannered, at least give them that (two guys and a girl, new york city, things like scotch and wine and whiskey, vodka, things like indelible memories and verses you would rather never know).
let him be filthy still
(r.byrne/m.goode)
i think i saw you on the television, once. like everyone always says: you look better in person.
there is no leaving new york
(r.byrne/m.goode)
memory is not foolproof, but neither are they.
scenes from an unpublished script
(assorted)
stories unravel in all sorts of way, but one thing remains consistent: there is a start, and where there is a start there is a middle, and where there is a middle there is mercifully or tragically, or unfortunately but always inevitably the paired words: THE END.
and your skin is something that i stir into my tea
(a.hathaway/s.speedman)
these stories happen all the time; just because you have not heard them does not mean it didn’t happen.
a common consensus
(assorted)
an actor’s life is comprised of the fabric of repetition and the lives of others.
pins in the atlas
(r.byrne/h.dancy)
actor might just be another word for a professional, a liar; hollywood might just be everywhere.
events inspired by sergio leone
(d.kruger/m.fassbender)
these things can be classified as the good, the bad, or the just plain ugly.
mr. demille
(d.kruger/m.fassbender)
you know the expression well: a picture is worth a thousand words. you forget that often what goes unsaid matters most of all.
mutual assent
(assorted)
everybody here’s got a familiar face; everybody knows your name.
the game is worth the candle
(m.laurent/a.diehl)
the door swings both open and shut; he’s going to pass through both ways.
esprit de l'escalier
(m.laurent/a.diehl, et al)
odds are: one out of the four has occurred; keep trying till you get it right.
an actor out of work
(assorted)
you’re the hero in your own story, but a villain in another’s (there are too many people in this bed).
THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD
(assorted)
the critics will tell you modern romance is dead. we are not here to tell you if they are right or wrong.
i know the weight of your throat
(r.hall/c.bale)
in the business, we call this behind the scenes; in the business, these are the fragile things.
burn the straw house down
(assorted)
Robert Louis Stevenson wrote a story about this once: the boat crashed, and there was a shore.
the gospel according to kerouac
(j.g.levitt/m.g.gubler, j.g.levitt/e.page)
there are too many metaphors invoking the word “road” to use in this summary.
RAW MEAT: Next to the Dumpster
(j.bateman/g.jacobs)
he just wants some pancakes; two faux comedians stop at a diner - there is no punchline.
spiderwebs (gwen stefani wrote a song about this)
(e.stone/a.garfield)
the superhero always gets the girl - on and off the set.
child-heart losers
(j.pitts/g.jacobs)
THIS IS A STORY ABOUT DINOSAURS. AND ALTERNATE UNIVERSES. AND SPIES. AND ISLANDS. AND PLACES YOU’VE NEVER BEEN AND PEOPLE YOU WILL NEVER BE. THIS IS NOT A LOVE STORY.
they're so underground (you probably never heard of them)
(j.g.levitt/e.page/t.hardy)
three’s a crowd / three’s company, too; sometimes it’s not one that’s the loneliest number.
all dolled up in straps
(j.pitts/g.jacobs)
THIS IS A STORY ABOUT BONDAGE. AND NECK TIES. AND OTHER QUESTIONABLE THINGS. THIS IS NOT A LOVE STORY.
like a bird on a wire
(j.pitts/g.jacobs, au)
they never could make it more than a block out of the neighborhood.
THE AUTHOR IS DEAD!
(j.franco, et al)
the greatest new year’s eve party thrown by a soon-to-be oscar-nominated actor. in here you’ll find: numerous self-congratulatory monologues, a dead body, a cheddar cheese ball, nemeses, alcohol, traitors (american and non alike), steve jobs’s merchandise, and a lot of people you like to think you know.
PARALLEL LIVES
(j.pitts/g.jacobs, au)
she’s all you’ve ever known; you think that means she’s all you’ll ever love. self-fulfilling prophecies, a pair of twins, west hollywood, movie producers, mobsters on the take, your sister, her brother, two twins a husband and a baby, boarding school, the holidays, a dead mother, a living stepmother, your twin sister her twin brother - this started at conception.
the hundred years' war
(a.darvill/r.mesquida)
he went to new york to make a movie; she ranks on the list of things he did not intend (the list of things he would like to forget).
how to succeed in hollywood without really trying
(j.bateman/r.byrne)
nine steps to successfully market your summer comedy hit (and/or manage your professionally-based extramarital affair).
GAG REEL
(b.hader/k.wiig)
live from new york -- it’s saturday night! a subjective history ten years in the making: onstage, backstage, behind-the-scenes, and at times, utterly and completely unseen; try and discern the pattern.
and now, darlene love sings the christmas blues
(b.hader/k.wiig, au)
The Lorne Michaels Systems’s office Christmas party (or, rather, The Nondenominational December Feast (Featuring The Baby Jesus, Santa Claus, and Adam Sandler)), as expected, is a disaster.
TRUE AMERICANS!
(snl rpf, au)
moments of cautious enthusiasm, scripted patriotism, and dumb decision-making while on the road to a more-than-uncertain presidential victory.
last call
(b.hader/k.wiig)
the party’s got to end some time, right?
the year of living dangerously
(j.chastain/t.hardy, et al, au)
the unwanted story leading up to the breaking story.
the mating habits of group social life
(g. jacobs, g. gerwig, c. hemsworth, j. johnson w/ s. rogen, k. bosworth, et al., au)
all parties end; best be prepared to relocate.
Teenage Dream (The Undercover Fed Remix)
(r.jones/a.samberg, au)
he’s got the same sense of humor as a high school student so that’s gotta count for something, right? or, special agent andy samberg goes undercover -- and back to high school.
please don't let me be misunderstood
(b.hader/k.wiig, au)
he’s made his bed and now he’s got to fuck in it: the story of the suburban widower turned drug dealer and the sister-in-law that ruined everything.
- under construction -
Note: a selected listing of fic written since I started this LJ. Any fic not listed here can be found under the fic tag.
A N O T H E R
H A P P Y
D A Y
FORGIVE THE KIDS
(alice/elliot)
the good daughter and the bad son share the same blood.
B A T T L E S T A R
G A L A C T I C A ;
the overflow of the kitchen sink
(assorted)
it's almost comforting in its simplicity, but perhaps therein lies the danger; what we're talking about here is this: i want what he's got.
B E T T E R
O F F
T E D ;
honesty: the very best policy
(ted/veronica)
at veridian, we pride ourselves on being truthful - as well as using said truthfulness against our enemies.
B A N D
o f
B R O T H E R S ;
and chaos is luck
(ensemble)
it all rattles and collects in corners, the trick of events and the way things like war will come to be both told and remembered.
the green grass stretches
(speirs)
there are not real words to phrase how the savagery and things like battle make more sense than this; it is simple though.
B O N E S ;
wishbone
(brennan/booth)
pull it till it breaks (or, an assortment of moments collected among the living and the dead (but mostly the dead)).
T h e
B O U R N E
T R I L O G Y ;
circumlocutory
(pam landy/noah vosen)
neither has ever understood the carrot; they both rule with a stick.
C L O V E R F I E L D ;
jurassic park is on channel seven
(marlena/rob, au)
it's a total disaster movie cliche, and she's sure of it - when it all goes to hell you start holding on to intangible things like the truth.
deadened streets, and other songs
(marlena/rob, au)
they beat the odds - there is escape; that's really just the beginning.
C O M M U N I T Y ;
a room filled up with mosquitoes
(jeff/britta)
to quote the great prophet lady gaga, you and me could write a bad romance. or something (in spanish, we would say: un romance malo; senor chang would be so proud).
PERSONAL INCOME TAX 101
(jeff/britta)
uncle sam wants YOU; the methods of evasion are strictly limited: also known as, the one where jeff and britta get married to save themselves from the law.
C R I M I N A L
M I N D S ;
another apple to slice into pieces
(hotch/prentiss)
maps can chart more than geography - they’ve been everywhere and they’ve seen it all.
C R O W N
D U E L ;
the flower of carnage
(mel/shevraeth, au)
successful rescues do not always ensure successful futures. the marquis of shevraeth rescues mel from certain danger -- their story unravels from there.
D A M A G E S ;
she wore plastic boots for rain
(ellen/tom)
she didn’t plan this, but sometimes it’s easiest to run with the obvious answers.
F R I N G E ;
on your gun barrel, you see the general fear
(olivia/charlie, olivia/alt!charlie, olivia/peter)
an outline of time spent between worlds.
G A M E
o f
T H R O N E S ;
stage blood is not enough
(cersei/ned)
last rites at the end of the world (or, cersei pays her last respects before ned’s final day of reckoning).
the joinery
(cersei/ned, cersei/jaime, au)
by what right does the wolf judge the lion -- ned stark takes the iron throne, and with it, a lannister for a wife.
the skeleton's daughter
(jeyne/jaime)
the smallfolk love tales of the predator and his prey; the smallfolk love to lie, for neither party can be found here. (two years later, jaime delivers a proposal of marriage to jeyne, the girl of the crag).
T h e
H U N G E R
G A M E S ;
younger revolutions (it's getting cold here by the sea)
(johanna/finnick)
they say: the winners write the history to be read; panem has been witness to other lovers.
I N C E P T I O N ;
la petite mort (the little death machine)
(arthur/ariadne)
a kick can come in all forms; she’s learning fast.
style lesson number one: knowing what you want (and "the not giving a damn" remix)
(arthur/ariadne)
coco chanel had rules about accessorizing; they probably don't apply here.
RIP VAN WINKLE
(arthur/ariadne)
in a town that does not exist, in a desert without a name, she will turn to him and say: “I took a nap and slept for years.” all he will say is: “I know.” (a collection of moments best left to the dreamers).
THE DREAMERS
(arthur/eames/ofc)
he is a very good forger. he can forget himself. he never forges the ones he loves.
I N G L O U R I O U S
B A S T E R D S ;
broken jaw and all
(bridget von hammersmark/archie hicox, au)
two guys and a girl walk out of a bar; this is what happens next.
pseudonyms
(shosanna/hellstrom, shosanna/zoller, au)
predestination does not allow an altering of history, try as you might; berlin after the war.
intermission
(shosanna/hellstrom, au)
no language has the words they could ever use; they get three days.
every poem an epitaph
(shosanna/hellstrom)
when they meet again, in a restaurant, a bottle of champagne and a young war hero for company, they will not be strangers; their kind has never been strangers to each other.
L I F E ;
peeled oranges
(dani)
at one point or another, it's got to get easier, the load's got to get lighter.
L I T T L E
W O M E N ;
a cold hard season
(jo/laurie)
they get a little older - time does that, time, as a rule, offers room for things like reconsideration and doubt.
L O S T ;
the tower of london remains
(kate/various)
you can try and outrun the karmic wheel, Miss Austen - that doesn't mean you ever stood a chance. you got to earn your keep.
the collection box is full
(desmond/claire)
they are all making mistakes in the name of things unreal, unclear; men die and wander as ghosts and they are all stupid enough to look for an escape.
lincoln log cabins
(jack/kate, kate/sawyer)
the manuals and the stepford wives make this look so much easier.
the appropriate travel arrangements have been made
(assorted)
the problem is that this isn't limited to just dreams anymore - the island followed them home.
you're not ulysses
(richard)
everyone keeps getting older - even him.
the predatory nature of the sky
(jack/juliet, juliet/james)
the island watches; juliet never left; they all came tumbling back.
bind with grout
(jack/juliet)
a confrontation in confined space (the bathroom smells like soap and him and her).
the worst-case scenario survival guide
(original characters)
a plane crashes in the jungle. if no one is alive to hear it, does it make a sound?
we don't bleed (when we don't fight)
(charles/eloise)
five points of reference in the life of eloise hawking.
jungle rot
(jacob/charlotte)
she said, “this place is death,” and after, she died; after, she met a man - he said his name was jacob.
N E W
G I R L ;
lay my head on the hood of your car
(jess/nick)
jess moves on. and gets it on with her roommate. normal stuff. nothing to see here.
all my pipe dreams made me insane
(jess/nick, au)
nothing like ringing in the new year with an old habit.
P R I M E
S U S P E C T ;
a nation of rats
(lou/augie, au)
you’re either on the take, or the take’s on you: detectives calderon and blando’s shared history in narcotics.
you cannot have an opponent if you keep saying yes
(jane/reg)
look at this: a united front; jane and reg return to the city.
i used to carry the gun
(lou/augie, jane/reg)
two weeks out, both augie and jane pack their bags.
S T A R
T R E K ;
accidents
(mccoy/chapel)
the problem with sex and love and every transgression in between is the simple lack of a step-by-step recipe to follow.
S T U D I O
6 0
o n
t h e
S U N S E T
S T R I P ;
declassified documents as of 2002
(jack/jordan)
the Vince Guaraldi Trio will set the mood right, and maybe, if they catch it in the right light, Old Hollywood will keep them company.
S U N S H I N E ;
and oxidation is the compromise
(cassie/mace)
their backs are against the wall - maybe that’s why, or maybe it’s even simpler than that: space is different, and they are lonely and they are restless.
the abyss will gaze back into you
(cassie/mace)
in all times of vulnerability, you burrow in deeper; winter will be here soon.
S U P E R
8 ;
the red badge of courage
(joe/alice)
the problem with summer has always been that it only lasts a season. joe grows up, joe is seventeen, and maybe, joe gets brave.
T E R M I N A T O R :
T h e
S A R A H
C O N N O R
C H R O N I C L E S ;
upon your belly you shall go
(cameron/derek, cameron/john)
the machine is fake and it lies; of this derek is certain - and this, it makes them equals.
T O U C H I N G
E V I L ;
things i did when i was dead
(branca/creegan)
killers kill and lovers love - things fall apart, just like they are always apt to do.
W A N T E D ;
the victor and the vanquished
(fox/cross)
she has forgotten the in-between - that sometimes there can be more than dead or alive.
T h e
W E S T
W I N G ;
ann coulter wouldn't dare
(ainsley/sam)
seven odd facts for an increasingly odd girl.
a violent yet flammable world
(amy/hoynes)
it's not like it's foreign for her, bringing men down to their knees; it's just that it's never supposed to be reciprocated.
miss jane austen presents
(ainsley/sam)
she likes neat things and she likes order and maybe that’s the problem with romance, right?: it’s too messy, there are too many complications, and more than that, there are too many plot twists.
C R O S S O V E R S ;
god save the queen -- and the ninjas, too
(the west wing/harry potter/the office/30 rock)
it's like one giant practical joke after another, isn't it, mr. prime minister?
it's rarely sunny in philadelphia
(the office/30 rock)
a little known fact is that Dunder-Mifflin is also a subsidiary of the Sheinhardt Wig Company.
your neighbors at hand
(band of brothers/the pacific/inglourious basterds/original)
the war ends, so you find a house: four strangers at the start and end of their world.
R P F ;
*note: most is locked. for reasons.
a bachelor of human kinetics
(k.knightley/j.mcavoy)
someday, with enough courage, they may toast to the quieter of places, to libraries, dark theaters and empty hotel halls.
agatha christie, in the parlor, with the wrench
(k.knightley/j.mcavoy)
it is a question of categories, of placing each thing in its rightful slot; the two of them belong somewhere (it just probably isn't here).
the highways of los angeles
(k.knightley/j.mcavoy)
age is hardly treasured behind the gilded walls of tinseltown; wisdom falls under a similar heading.
mantels for golden idols
(j.bardem/m.cotillard)
the pretty gold trinkets can be found next to the gift bags - be sure not to leave them behind when you go.
so sympathetic to your character
(k.knightley/j.mcavoy/m.goode)
they are well-mannered, at least give them that (two guys and a girl, new york city, things like scotch and wine and whiskey, vodka, things like indelible memories and verses you would rather never know).
let him be filthy still
(r.byrne/m.goode)
i think i saw you on the television, once. like everyone always says: you look better in person.
there is no leaving new york
(r.byrne/m.goode)
memory is not foolproof, but neither are they.
scenes from an unpublished script
(assorted)
stories unravel in all sorts of way, but one thing remains consistent: there is a start, and where there is a start there is a middle, and where there is a middle there is mercifully or tragically, or unfortunately but always inevitably the paired words: THE END.
and your skin is something that i stir into my tea
(a.hathaway/s.speedman)
these stories happen all the time; just because you have not heard them does not mean it didn’t happen.
a common consensus
(assorted)
an actor’s life is comprised of the fabric of repetition and the lives of others.
pins in the atlas
(r.byrne/h.dancy)
actor might just be another word for a professional, a liar; hollywood might just be everywhere.
events inspired by sergio leone
(d.kruger/m.fassbender)
these things can be classified as the good, the bad, or the just plain ugly.
mr. demille
(d.kruger/m.fassbender)
you know the expression well: a picture is worth a thousand words. you forget that often what goes unsaid matters most of all.
mutual assent
(assorted)
everybody here’s got a familiar face; everybody knows your name.
the game is worth the candle
(m.laurent/a.diehl)
the door swings both open and shut; he’s going to pass through both ways.
esprit de l'escalier
(m.laurent/a.diehl, et al)
odds are: one out of the four has occurred; keep trying till you get it right.
an actor out of work
(assorted)
you’re the hero in your own story, but a villain in another’s (there are too many people in this bed).
THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD
(assorted)
the critics will tell you modern romance is dead. we are not here to tell you if they are right or wrong.
i know the weight of your throat
(r.hall/c.bale)
in the business, we call this behind the scenes; in the business, these are the fragile things.
burn the straw house down
(assorted)
Robert Louis Stevenson wrote a story about this once: the boat crashed, and there was a shore.
the gospel according to kerouac
(j.g.levitt/m.g.gubler, j.g.levitt/e.page)
there are too many metaphors invoking the word “road” to use in this summary.
RAW MEAT: Next to the Dumpster
(j.bateman/g.jacobs)
he just wants some pancakes; two faux comedians stop at a diner - there is no punchline.
spiderwebs (gwen stefani wrote a song about this)
(e.stone/a.garfield)
the superhero always gets the girl - on and off the set.
child-heart losers
(j.pitts/g.jacobs)
THIS IS A STORY ABOUT DINOSAURS. AND ALTERNATE UNIVERSES. AND SPIES. AND ISLANDS. AND PLACES YOU’VE NEVER BEEN AND PEOPLE YOU WILL NEVER BE. THIS IS NOT A LOVE STORY.
they're so underground (you probably never heard of them)
(j.g.levitt/e.page/t.hardy)
three’s a crowd / three’s company, too; sometimes it’s not one that’s the loneliest number.
all dolled up in straps
(j.pitts/g.jacobs)
THIS IS A STORY ABOUT BONDAGE. AND NECK TIES. AND OTHER QUESTIONABLE THINGS. THIS IS NOT A LOVE STORY.
like a bird on a wire
(j.pitts/g.jacobs, au)
they never could make it more than a block out of the neighborhood.
THE AUTHOR IS DEAD!
(j.franco, et al)
the greatest new year’s eve party thrown by a soon-to-be oscar-nominated actor. in here you’ll find: numerous self-congratulatory monologues, a dead body, a cheddar cheese ball, nemeses, alcohol, traitors (american and non alike), steve jobs’s merchandise, and a lot of people you like to think you know.
PARALLEL LIVES
(j.pitts/g.jacobs, au)
she’s all you’ve ever known; you think that means she’s all you’ll ever love. self-fulfilling prophecies, a pair of twins, west hollywood, movie producers, mobsters on the take, your sister, her brother, two twins a husband and a baby, boarding school, the holidays, a dead mother, a living stepmother, your twin sister her twin brother - this started at conception.
the hundred years' war
(a.darvill/r.mesquida)
he went to new york to make a movie; she ranks on the list of things he did not intend (the list of things he would like to forget).
how to succeed in hollywood without really trying
(j.bateman/r.byrne)
nine steps to successfully market your summer comedy hit (and/or manage your professionally-based extramarital affair).
GAG REEL
(b.hader/k.wiig)
live from new york -- it’s saturday night! a subjective history ten years in the making: onstage, backstage, behind-the-scenes, and at times, utterly and completely unseen; try and discern the pattern.
and now, darlene love sings the christmas blues
(b.hader/k.wiig, au)
The Lorne Michaels Systems’s office Christmas party (or, rather, The Nondenominational December Feast (Featuring The Baby Jesus, Santa Claus, and Adam Sandler)), as expected, is a disaster.
TRUE AMERICANS!
(snl rpf, au)
moments of cautious enthusiasm, scripted patriotism, and dumb decision-making while on the road to a more-than-uncertain presidential victory.
last call
(b.hader/k.wiig)
the party’s got to end some time, right?
the year of living dangerously
(j.chastain/t.hardy, et al, au)
the unwanted story leading up to the breaking story.
the mating habits of group social life
(g. jacobs, g. gerwig, c. hemsworth, j. johnson w/ s. rogen, k. bosworth, et al., au)
all parties end; best be prepared to relocate.
Teenage Dream (The Undercover Fed Remix)
(r.jones/a.samberg, au)
he’s got the same sense of humor as a high school student so that’s gotta count for something, right? or, special agent andy samberg goes undercover -- and back to high school.
please don't let me be misunderstood
(b.hader/k.wiig, au)
he’s made his bed and now he’s got to fuck in it: the story of the suburban widower turned drug dealer and the sister-in-law that ruined everything.